Dgs7272 what a lovely topic opener, I think you do have a point about swinging being the new '"love that dare not speak it's name". A few years back on the site there was quite a lot of discussion about that sort of way of seeing swinging, that it was something within certain people like being gay or bi. I myself have found that I have needed to experience it, and it seems so innocent and natural that 3 or more people can share sexual pleasure like the conventional couple can but I know close members of my family, friends and people at my workplace who would not fully accept the idea. There is a hang up in much of society about sex as sheer pleasure and sex involving a different set up to one on one.
interesting topic, still has tie ups though and that's especially the guys who are still happy to watch two girls 'getting it on' but wouldn't dream of doing it themselves. When we are as free as some of the mainland european counties are we are on the right track.
Still fun though.
swinging was the last tabboo 20 years ago when club after club was getting exposed by the sunday papers when was the last time that happened
Interesting topic. No idea why but the tv was tuned into big brother this evening. The into for the lady from the apprentice mentioned her attendance at sex parties. Our teenage daughter used the word "whore" which to be honest shocked me as we have spent many a evening talking about sexuality and mrs gerty and me where very pleased that she appeared to be a well rounded individual with no hang ups on sexual issues, she is actually proud that friends are gay , bisexual or straight, her and her friends have no issues with this. But someone with a healthy interest in sex causes her a problem ?
From our experience with our kids, sexuality doesn't cause them a problem, but promiscuous behaviour does. So yes, perhaps this is the current love to remain nameless.
No, but she a short lecture on respecting other peoples beliefs and lifestyles.
Gerty a few years ago at my workplace a few of us were just chatting and somehow 'the subject' came up. Was it a moment for me to reveal I had taken part in things?
No, absolutely not.
Everyone condemned it, one woman totally, yet I knew she had slept with 5 men so far that year including guys she'd met in bars that night. The logic was you could be promiscuous one at a time but not share sex with two or three or more partners at the same time. I remember just clamming up thinking if only you all knew what I have done in the past!
A few points:
In the public eye it does matter what job you do as to how your sexual conduct is viewed. For people employed as artists nobody appears to give a damn as to what they do, my examples mainly come from the music business, think of groupies, prostitutes and very young ladies - Simon Cowell appears to do alright with the ladies. If a government minister did those things they could lose their job. Artists appears to be a law unto themselves, but then again they do not make the laws or govern, and if they do push social boundaries it's celebrated as much as condemned.
I think if I ever told my vanilla friends what I get up to they would be quite understanding if I was quite tame about it - They have seen me in regular nightclubs lol. If I told them I acted like a swinger then they would be much more judgemental - that label is something people does something to people - but what is the actual definition of swinger anyway? People might be more understanding if we told it as it is rather than label ourselves (in this situation at least).
This is an area where being a single male actually helps! It is fine for me to just have "fun" and that can include just about anything. What other people might not understand is how a happy couple might want to include others.
We recently played a game of "I have never"... For those that don't know, it involves asking questions to others. Somebody says for example;
"I have never ...slept with both members of the opposite sex"
If you agree with the person you don't drink, if you disagree (because you have) you drink! Needless to say our very good vanilla friends know an awful lot more about us and our sex lives now. In some ways it was a massive relief, they never judged us and we are still great friends. It's amazing just how many swinging related innuendos can come out in our conversations now though!
There is always Mathew 7:1.
I sort of like the fact that swinging has to be, for most, kept secret. as soon as it becomes accepted and acceptable practice i think it will lose its attraction for many.
Interesting topic: it is possible that there is a certain amount antipathy and unease concerning swinging (a very exciting and intense form of sex in a society based on pleasure)as it strikes against something fundamental in our survival DNA; ie, that an adult couple is the foundation of human society as it is needed to successfully raise and nurture a child; and that a man needs to be sure that it is his seed/genes that are passed on successfully and so guards his mate jealously. Either that or no on has figured an 'app' for it yet ;)
Those opposed to swinging will always be opposed to it, they have been opposed to it since the first orgies and swinging parties held in Rome in BC as well as AD.
Being gay acceptable, tell that to the footballers who are still to scared to admit that they are or to those being put to death for being gay in countries around the world, to those being imprisoned for being gay.
Tell it to the "COUPLES WITH BI-FEM" whose profile says "no bi-males or couples with bi-male"
I am straight and I see the hatred, abuse and fear of gays still exists, now that it is politically incorrect to oppose gays it is more secretive but it still exists.
I think one of the biggest problems with swinging and people outside the scene is quite simply their lack of experience of what it actually is.
Most people still think it involves something akin to putting keys on a bowl and then arbitrarily picking from the bowl, with partners having little say.
There is only one person who knows that I have done things like this but there are others that I have tried to educate a little but saying something less shocking that "I'm a swinger". Normally I say "I've moved in swinger circles". It's a nice way of saying I have experience but I'm not telling you what or how much and most people don't ask. They probably prefer to think that I've just known people who do. People don't like uncomfortable truths about people they care about.
So yeah, I think if people knew more about it and how it is more like dating but with sex much more 'on the table', there would be less of a stigma.
Many of my friends and son know about my lifestyle
Im not a greedy girl or prolific and infact very very fussy who i fully engage with and thats taken 5 years to get there but I love the social side and the general average TRUE swingers attitude..
I use word TRUE as many use this as a dirty secret world and treat people accordingly ..In my opinion TRUE swingers are those that embrace the lifestyle are non judgemental and basically treat all with they play hard or not.
My friends are curious about the world and what it involves and love the odd story. I think somethies they are a little envious of my free spirited and fulfilled life..
.I have many swing friends I engage with in the vanilla world ( if that makes sense).. IE do normal things with family , Some are playmates some or just friends... My friends think they are the most fun and easy going people they have ever met and also have the best relationships/ marriages.
My son found out at 15yr by default... (Laptop crash and reopened on site)... I had to explain the ethics and lifestyle to him ... He now affectionately says all your pervy friends are the best... I need to add here I have never had a swing partner not friends stay at my home nor entertained anyone there ,
I am also sure my mother may knows as they often say are you going to the club in Kent or Heathrow tonight ;)) xx
In a nutshell I think when you can be open and honest about who you are to whose that matter ( ps id never actually tell my parents), you can live a less stressful and fulfilled life...
ps I love comment ---- like dating with sex on table .... are you sure ? ... its easier to get laid off POF lolxx
and said for cryin out loud we did that years ago duck, chuck the keys in a bowl and get on with it 
