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The manchester Effect or........

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Well i havent been to any munches but have attended a few socials lately. I cant compare them to what they was before but i thought that they werent that tame wink and I for one will be expecting a couple of snogs, at least in may :giggle:
Louise xx
What could be more vanilla than snogging everyone at a party anyway?
Quote by Gothic-punk
What could be more vanilla than snogging everyone at a party anyway?

I never snogged everyone at a vanilla party confused I stuck to one in those days.
louise xx
It seems that my experience of vanilla parties may not tally with everyone else's, then..
Too be honest...i'm glad...i don't want to feel under any pressure to participate in something i don't want to do,there can't be nothing worse than someone out of their head,trying to grab hold of you for a snog!..shudders!....
Quote by Mr-Powers
Too be honest...i'm glad...i don't want to feel under any pressure to participate in something i don't want to do,there can't be nothing worse than someone out of their heads,trying to grab hold of you for a snog!..shudders!....

mrs kensington
I think you've signed in wrong lol
Quote by markz
Too be honest...i'm glad...i don't want to feel under any pressure to participate in something i don't want to do,there can't be nothing worse than someone out of their heads,trying to grab hold of you for a snog!..shudders!....

mrs kensington
I think you've signed in wrong lol
no seriously its not funny....my good looks are my curse!
notice how no-one's gonna touch this can of worms with a bargepole?? lol
awww go on then, you tempted me into it :twisted:
however :lol:, I'll come back to this later after making a couple of initial points:
I dont think its fair to lay the blame for the current 'atmosphere around Munches' soley at the door of the Manchester Munch. If anything, the thread title should be 'the xxxxxx(insert names of twats who caused all this here) xxxxx and thier effect on future Munches...
and, I dont think we can consider the most recent social in this, because we were told on arrival to not use site names, no badges, no kissing fem:fem etc due to the vanilla environment, so in that way it doesnt count.
but yes, there is a difference now with regard to 'spark' and 'edge' imo, and that's nothing to do with the organisation or people behind these events, its the 'uncertainty' and 'vanillarisation' thats the problem.
Quote by Darkfire
and, I dont think we can consider the most recent social in this, because we were told on arrival to not use site names, no badges, no kissing fem:fem etc due to the vanilla environment, so in that way it doesnt count.

Sorry to just slice your post up, but this bit caught my eye. I don't know which social you mean, and I don't really want to know. I'm not saying anything against anyone or anything.
But how do you know who people are if you dont use your site name? I can see the point of the badge thing. But what good would it do if I (for example)that doesnt know many people anyway, went up to someone and said 'Hi I'm K**e.' They gonna be none the wiser who the hell I am.
I havent been to a social or a munch since all of this kicked off. But I will be interested to see if there is a difference.
P.S. If I have snogged anyone inappropriatly at munches or socials that I have attended, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart!!!
Quote by Darkfire
I dont think its fair to lay the blame for the current 'atmosphere around Munches' soley at the door of the Manchester Munch.

I was at the Manchester munch, had a great time and saw nothing out of the ordinary happen. So when these threads come up and all the talk about indecent behaviour etc, I feel like I must have been at a different do! biggrin
Quote by Darkfire
but yes, there is a difference now with regard to 'spark' and 'edge' imo, and that's nothing to do with the organisation or people behind these events, its the 'uncertainty' and 'vanillarisation' thats the problem.

We are not at another munch till October I think, so I hope this lack of 'spark' had vanished before then :shock: I plan on having just as much fun as I always do wink
Sometimes I wonder if its because we don't manage to get to very many munches/socials that when we do, we still find them good fun dunno And that folks that go to them all the time notice the change in atmosphere/problems arising with them, more than we do? Do others find thats the case?
Fee
XX
I was thinking along those lines too.
I've only been to 2 munches and 1 social. While I found both munches very different, the atmosphere was similar.
I hope the next one I'm down for has the same atmosphere, as I feel thats what makes munches so special to me. And if I ever get jaded by them maybe its time to find a new way to entertain myself.
Is it really necessary to hijack this thread? go play elsewhere, ffs.
God dammit where's the bloody steam room lol
For there to be any effect then a large % of the community has to be aware of whats gone on or have been there at the time otherwise its not going to have an effect on them. If its only something you have read about in threads its not going to change your own experience based opinion or expectations of munchs. I certainly wouldent let an issue I read about happening at another munch that I wasent at change how Mrs Tweeky and I behave in the future. Maybe some people who were there have seen something that will change the way they react at future munchs but I dont think that will stop other people.
Personally I must have missed the whole thing.
Snogging, I have been the receiver of some unwanted ones not only in the swinging scene. Its just something that happens I think we cant do much about we either go with it :shock: or you dont in which case it can be a bit redface for both. I never ask before I do so its a bit pot luck really as to what happens, certainly no different to a nightclub situation. If I had to ask evertime I was going to snog someone it would never happen although I have been asked in the past, they must be braver people than me.
Quote by Darkfire
Is it really necessary to hijack this thread? go play elsewhere, ffs.
God dammit where's the bloody steam room lol

Exactly what i was thinking Dark - soooo bloody irritating!! mad
Suze x
Quote by LadyFeeBee

I dont think its fair to lay the blame for the current 'atmosphere around Munches' soley at the door of the Manchester Munch.

I was at the Manchester munch, had a great time and saw nothing out of the ordinary happen. So when these threads come up and all the talk about indecent behaviour etc, I feel like I must have been at a different do! biggrin
Same here. I have yet to find the people who actually witnessed this, or hear any names mention of the people that performed said act. confused :? :?
I'm not saying that it didn't happen, just that all the reports I've heard have been hearsay and sketchy at best.
Quote by LadyFeeBee

but yes, there is a difference now with regard to 'spark' and 'edge' imo, and that's nothing to do with the organisation or people behind these events, its the 'uncertainty' and 'vanillarisation' thats the problem.

We are not at another munch till October I think, so I hope this lack of 'spark' had vanished before then :shock: I plan on having just as much fun as I always do wink
Sometimes I wonder if its because we don't manage to get to very many munches/socials that when we do, we still find them good fun dunno And that folks that go to them all the time notice the change in atmosphere/problems arising with them, more than we do? Do others find thats the case?
Fee
XX
The very point I made in another thread. We don't do all the Munches/socials for several reasons, one being that I find it burns you out. I honestly cannot imagine going to an event every couple of weeks and it not effecting me. I buzz for days, if not weeks after a Munch just going over things that have happened, people I've kissed etc with friends, so for me I'd be on a continuous high. The trouble with that is, at some point there's going to be a down and the higher you get, the further it is to fall.
That's just me though, I know some people do attend a lot of events and don't have any problems.
As for people who regularly attend noticing change, it's a social site so there's bound to be a grapevine and as I've already said I spend time and energy discussing things so I don't see why others shouldn't. I do wonder if discussion becomes Chinese whispers sometimes though and that in turn leads to "unpleasantness" on the forum. :dunno:
Quote by easy

I dont think its fair to lay the blame for the current 'atmosphere around Munches' soley at the door of the Manchester Munch.

I was at the Manchester munch, had a great time and saw nothing out of the ordinary happen. So when these threads come up and all the talk about indecent behaviour etc, I feel like I must have been at a different do! biggrin
Same here. I have yet to find the people who actually witnessed this, or hear any names mention of the people that performed said act. confused :? :?
I'm not saying that it didn't happen, just that all the reports I've heard have been hearsay and sketchy at best.

me too, hence, the 'insert names' bit, and not believing (imo) that this all stems soley from that event but the subsequent behaviour at munchesthread wink
but, I am interested in whether my currently burst munch bubble is simply just me...i've been to too many too often/ whatever and its entirely my own feeling about my experiences & the evolving atmosphere (imo) at the moment that have made me (hopefully temprorarily) fall out of love with them, or if other people are feeling it too dunno
Quote by Darkfire
but, I am interested in whether my currently burst munch bubble is simply just me...i've been to too many too often/ whatever and its entirely my own feeling about my experiences & the evolving atmosphere (imo) at the moment that have made me (hopefully temprorarily) fall out of love with them, or if other people are feeling it too dunno

there does seem to be a certain apathy running round at the mo, is it a case of familiarity breeding contempt?
have we got too familiar with each other, there is nothing new to focus on
Quote by Abilene
it's just a fact around here that new single fems are like gold and once you are no longer 'fresh meat' and more like a piece of furniture it's a little different.

could the above be quite close? i have seen on numerous occasions, the 'fresh meat' joins up, posts a while, people warm to him/her/them and once its felt that the feet are under the table, there is no more attention?
my very personal opinion, specifically on that point Wide-Boy (and Abilene) , is that that's exactly how it feels sometimes!!
but, lets get back to the suggested 'vanillarisation' of Munches, shall we? wink
Surely some of you have noticed the change in the atmosphere at munches/socials?? Yes they are still fun and its always great to meet up with old friends and meet new ones, but come on... they have changed!! (IMO).
Bart and I have been to three since Manchester and the atmosphere is different, more restrained, almost like being at a wedding reception or summat!! We arent even the most outgoing of people, we dont spend all night snogging the faces off peeps, we arent over-the-top at all but we have noticed a change. We spent ages discussing this amongst ourselves and with friends and it was agreed.... now it seems as tho people arent in agreement. Ah well, maybe we'd better keep our opinions to ourselves...
Suze x
Too be honest...i'm glad...i don't want to feel under any pressure to participate in something i don't want to do,there can't be nothing worse than someone out of their head,trying to grab hold of you for a snog!..shudders!....

I promise I'll ask first redface rotflmao
Quote by bartdutch
...socials and meets have gone to a very serene mode, and it seems that people are affraid to snog each other and overall the "swinging" atmosphere has gone a bit. It feels like a visit to a "normal" vanilla party.

And so it should if it is a social event in a vanilla environment.
You want a 'swinging' atmosphere - go to a swinging club.
Socials (by the definition of the name) are for socialising - not for some badly dressed mington to wait for people to get drunk enough to cop a grope, try and lick your tonsils and demonstrate they have no idea how to conduct themselves in the real world.
Quote by PoloLady
...socials and meets have gone to a very serene mode, and it seems that people are affraid to snog each other and overall the "swinging" atmosphere has gone a bit. It feels like a visit to a "normal" vanilla party.

And so it should if it is a social event in a vanilla environment.
You want a 'swinging' atmosphere - go to a swinging club.
Socials (by the definition of the name) are for socialising - not for some badly dressed mington to wait for people to get drunk enough to cop a grope, try and lick your tonsils and demonstrate they have no idea how to conduct themselves in the real world.
Yeah but you said you only did that once and now you behave PL
wink
Quote by the_Laird
...socials and meets have gone to a very serene mode, and it seems that people are affraid to snog each other and overall the "swinging" atmosphere has gone a bit. It feels like a visit to a "normal" vanilla party.

And so it should if it is a social event in a vanilla environment.
You want a 'swinging' atmosphere - go to a swinging club.
Socials (by the definition of the name) are for socialising - not for some badly dressed mington to wait for people to get drunk enough to cop a grope, try and lick your tonsils and demonstrate they have no idea how to conduct themselves in the real world.
Yeah but you said you only did that once and now you behave PL
wink
So what's your excuse?
Quote by PoloLady
So what's your excuse?

I no longer bother with one..........
I dont really know the answer to the question of munches anymore. When we joined there was one or two a year. Now theres one get together a week and people seem to revolve their lives around them. Of course its going to get jaded and with the familiarity comes a blurring of acceptable behaviour.
Whats acceptable in a night club "vanilla environment" to one person wont be the same to another.
Pity people just cant be adult about it all eh...
Quote by Suze43
Surely some of you have noticed the change in the atmosphere at munches/socials?? Yes they are still fun and its always great to meet up with old friends and meet new ones, but come on... they have changed!! (IMO).
Bart and I have been to three since Manchester and the atmosphere is different, more restrained, almost like being at a wedding reception or summat!! We arent even the most outgoing of people, we dont spend all night snogging the faces off peeps, we arent over-the-top at all but we have noticed a change. We spent ages discussing this amongst ourselves and with friends and it was agreed.... now it seems as tho people arent in agreement. Ah well, maybe we'd better keep our opinions to ourselves...
Suze x

Maybe its just changed for you as you have now been to quite a few? There is no way a line of people stood at the door to go in are all going to be feeling the same way about a munch at the end of a night. To some it will be the worst to others the best ever and to other run of the mill all depends what happens to the individuals. At the last munch we went too we had a similar discussion with some of the people we were sat with they were at out first munch as well. They felt like you it wasent as fun where as me and Mrs Tweeky didnt really notice the difference. They been to a lot of events in between and we have been to only a few. I think to us that seems like the plan, dont do too much.
Quote by blueandpink
Too be honest...i'm glad...i don't want to feel under any pressure to participate in something i don't want to do,there can't be nothing worse than someone out of their head,trying to grab hold of you for a snog!..shudders!....

I promise I'll ask first redface rotflmao
Alright....i'll bring the listerine! lol
Quote by Darkfire
Is it really necessary to hijack this thread? go play elsewhere, ffs.

Totally agree and that is why I have removed the posts which were ruining yet another good thread.
If people have nothing to say on the topic being discussed, then why can't they just keep their hands of their keyboards rolleyes
Now can we please get back to topic.
we have only been to a few and have thoroughly enjoyed each one. I never compare them as they are held by different people & different people attend them.
We didn't attend the Manchester munch so can't comment about the so called behaviour, however lol this has not put us off attending future munches & meeting some more lovely people. Roll on Wigan wink
Quote by PoloLady
...socials and meets have gone to a very serene mode, and it seems that people are affraid to snog each other and overall the "swinging" atmosphere has gone a bit. It feels like a visit to a "normal" vanilla party.

And so it should if it is a social event in a vanilla environment.
You want a 'swinging' atmosphere - go to a swinging club.
I think there's a "middle ground" somewhere.
And to be fair, I think most agree that there's a definite difference between a "social" involving our vanilla friends/family and a social/munch with people from here.
To a degree, I agree with Bart, and others. I know that I have altered my behavior/demeanour/conduct at Munches. I'm not at all as relaxed as I use to be. Not for fear of "site reprisal" - more because (believe it or not) I don't actively seek to cause offence. I just like to have a giggle/laugh/good time. If "my antics" have entertained others, well; that's just a by product of me (and mine) having a good night out.
To be perfectly frank (or Bob) - I found it hard to understand and accept the broohaha, bollocks and apparent witch-hunt that followed, in particular, the last Manchester, and others.
Someone behaved in a manner not fitting. They were made aware of their indiscretions. They stopped/were invited to leave. It was dealy with. It was over. Where the fuck was the problem. Of course; in a perfect world it wouldn't have happened at all. But please, someone show me the way to this perfect world that's often referred to. I might want to go have a look at it. But only from a morbid curiosity rolleyes
Quote by bartdutch
In short am i the only one that feels like this, or are there compadres here that miss the spark and edge that normally used to be there on munches, socials etc.

No Bart, you're not alone.
I too miss the spark. The edge. The freedom. The desire. And want. The passion.
We've not been to any socials/munches for a few months :shock: I'm hoping that any tension will have disappeared before the next one ... but I will admit that I'm nervous about it!
I probably won't be drinking a great deal (not that I do anyway) but will definitely be more aware of my behaviour sad
I'm looking forward to the next one ... but in a way it'll be very different for me than has been previously.
Cx