About three years ago I got very very depressed and just couldn't be arsed with life anymore so I decided to pay my doctor a vist to see if he could help. He was absolutly fantastic,giving me plenty of time to explain how I felt and how life didn't seem like the effort anymore. He was very sympahateic to me,expalining that 1 in 5 men my age suffer from some sort of depression and that these days theres no stigma or nothing to be ashamed of. He then signed me off workfor 6 weeks and asked me what I wanted him to write on my sicknote. I answered "depression,I thought you said there was no stigma attached to it"
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The things doctors say!
Quote by lambchop
About three years ago I got very very depressed and just couldn't be arsed with life anymore so I decided to pay my doctor a vist to see if he could help. He was absolutly fantastic,giving me plenty of time to explain how I felt and how life didn't seem like the effort anymore. He was very sympahateic to me,expalining that 1 in 5 men my age suffer from some sort of depression and that these days theres no stigma or nothing to be ashamed of. He then signed me off workfor 6 weeks and asked me what I wanted him to write on my sicknote. I answered "depression,I thought you said there was no stigma attached to it"
lol......as long as you're OK now lambchop........
CC.....
Sex God
think our doctor is a swinger
he always says
bend over
don`t worry...you`ll only feel a little
prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D
he always says
bend over
don`t worry...you`ll only feel a little
prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D Sex God
Quote by jesster
think our doctor is a swinger
he always says
bend over
don`t worry...you`ll only feel a little
prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My doctor usually asks me to roll up my sleeve :shock:
get a lady doctor........see what happens............... :D :D :D :D
if not..... its sexism!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote by twos_company
think our doctor is a swinger
he always says
bend over
don`t worry...you`ll only feel a little
prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My doctor usually asks me to roll up my sleeve :shock:
get a lady doctor........see what happens............... :D :D :D :D
if not..... its sexism!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mmmm....I've never had a Lady GP......I'm sure my illnesses would...erm increase..!!
CC...... :twisted:
Sex God
one night mike was really bad with flu..............
and this angel appeared above him.........
our own gp on a home visit......
next time he saw her she was 7 months pregnant.... not him!!!!!!!!! :D
and this angel appeared above him.........
our own gp on a home visit......
next time he saw her she was 7 months pregnant.... not him!!!!!!!!!
:D Quote by twos_company
think our doctor is a swinger
he always says
bend over
don`t worry...you`ll only feel a little
prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My doctor usually asks me to roll up my sleeve :shock:
get a lady doctor........see what happens............... :D :D :D :D
if not..... its sexism!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd still get asked to roll up my sleeve
:lol: Sex God
bend over..u`ll only feel a little prick?????????????
is it just me????????/
d
xxxx
is it just me????????/
d
xxxx
Warming the Bed
when I had my vasectomy, I was laid naked on the operating table, and the doctor (who had really cold hands) uttered those lines -
"you'll just feel a little prick......."
"you'll just feel a little prick......."
Warming the Bed
Another one I remember from my snip.
Halfway through, he asked if there were any questions. I asked him what the burning smell was.
......."You" was the reply.
Halfway through, he asked if there were any questions. I asked him what the burning smell was.
......."You" was the reply.
Picture the scene . . .
16 years old, nervous as fLuck; being interviewed by the doc for an Army entrance medical.
After 10 or 15 minutes of questions and general prodding and poking he says to me "Just drop your trousers and bend over the back of that chair"
I oblige.
As I hear the rubber glove stretch and snap into place on his hand . . . .
"Have you ever had any homosexual tendancies ?"
Schloppppp, as he stuck his KY'd finger up my arse ! !
16 years old, nervous as fLuck; being interviewed by the doc for an Army entrance medical.
After 10 or 15 minutes of questions and general prodding and poking he says to me "Just drop your trousers and bend over the back of that chair"
I oblige.
As I hear the rubber glove stretch and snap into place on his hand . . . .
"Have you ever had any homosexual tendancies ?"
Schloppppp, as he stuck his KY'd finger up my arse ! !
:shock:
What is it about doctors' choice of words and my arse ?????
You've read my post above.
A little background about today . . . . .
I've been feeling a small amount of mild discomfort of the nether regions for the last few days. Nothing to cause me any great panic.
Like most men, I'm usually fairly reluctant to go to the doctors.
It's not a macho-bullshit thing. It's more a feeling that there are more deserving cases to take up the resources available.
I prefer to "leave it a couple of days or so, and it'll clear up/sort itself"
Unless of course it's owt to do with the cock, or has any effect of my sex life.
Don't worry, I'm not going to get graphic about my "mild discomfort" - let's just settle with "waterworks/plumbing" difficulties. And bear in mind - I'm 45.
This morning.............
This internetwebdotcom thing, the search button, Google etc are marvellous things.
Except - people like me (don't like to bother the Doc) might be even less likely to go see the Doc if they find simple explanations online.
So ..............
I'm looking round the NHS Direct website, typed in a couple of symptoms and sat there merrily scaring the shit out of myself at some of the results that came up.
Enter HLB, looking over my shoulder. There I am, banged to rights and cajoled into explaining myself
She does the girlfriendy type thing and brow beats me into ringing my local doctors practice.
Luckily enough, there's a cancellation I can have this morning.
Marvellous
So I'm in with the Doc. We've chatted. He's prodded and poked around a little, I've pissed in a jug for him.
"I think we need to check your prostrate, just jump on the couch and bring your knees up to your chest"
Here we fucking go ! ! !
I hear the sclllhoooooppp of the KY. The rubber glove snap (again) Then he did the deed.
THE THINGS DOCTORS SAY
"How does that feel ?"
Struggling to find a suitable answer .............. "A little uncomfortable"
Him ...................................
"Hmm - Well it feels okay to me"
:shock: WTF ?!?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Double sigh of relief as he takes his finger out of my arse and I realise it's my prostrate gland that "feels okay" to him
What is it about doctors' choice of words and my arse ?????
You've read my post above.
A little background about today . . . . .
I've been feeling a small amount of mild discomfort of the nether regions for the last few days. Nothing to cause me any great panic.
Like most men, I'm usually fairly reluctant to go to the doctors.
It's not a macho-bullshit thing. It's more a feeling that there are more deserving cases to take up the resources available.
I prefer to "leave it a couple of days or so, and it'll clear up/sort itself"
Unless of course it's owt to do with the cock, or has any effect of my sex life.
Don't worry, I'm not going to get graphic about my "mild discomfort" - let's just settle with "waterworks/plumbing" difficulties. And bear in mind - I'm 45.
This morning.............
This internetwebdotcom thing, the search button, Google etc are marvellous things.
Except - people like me (don't like to bother the Doc) might be even less likely to go see the Doc if they find simple explanations online.
So ..............
I'm looking round the NHS Direct website, typed in a couple of symptoms and sat there merrily scaring the shit out of myself at some of the results that came up.
Enter HLB, looking over my shoulder. There I am, banged to rights and cajoled into explaining myself
She does the girlfriendy type thing and brow beats me into ringing my local doctors practice.
Luckily enough, there's a cancellation I can have this morning.
Marvellous
So I'm in with the Doc. We've chatted. He's prodded and poked around a little, I've pissed in a jug for him.
"I think we need to check your prostrate, just jump on the couch and bring your knees up to your chest"
Here we fucking go ! ! !
I hear the sclllhoooooppp of the KY. The rubber glove snap (again) Then he did the deed.
THE THINGS DOCTORS SAY
"How does that feel ?"
Struggling to find a suitable answer .............. "A little uncomfortable"
Him ...................................
"Hmm - Well it feels okay to me"
:shock: WTF ?!?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Double sigh of relief as he takes his finger out of my arse and I realise it's my prostrate gland that "feels okay" to him
I'm sure they do it on purpose D.
I was in hospital a few years ago and had to have the same thing checked out by a junior doctor. After he had finished the anal probing he was chatting to me to find out a little about my lifestyle as background for what I was in for. After a few minutes he said "you know I know you from somewhere", it turns out he was a year above me at my school, the hospital was 100 miles away from our hometown, and I'd nicked his girlfriend when we were at school ,what are the chances of that!! Some kindof divine retribution perhaps.
I was in hospital a few years ago and had to have the same thing checked out by a junior doctor. After he had finished the anal probing he was chatting to me to find out a little about my lifestyle as background for what I was in for. After a few minutes he said "you know I know you from somewhere", it turns out he was a year above me at my school, the hospital was 100 miles away from our hometown, and I'd nicked his girlfriend when we were at school ,what are the chances of that!! Some kindof divine retribution perhaps.
Sexlightened
Many years ago I go to a very old fashioned Doc who lit up his cigerette as you entered! grabs his sick note pad to sign you off! No! No! I'm Ok I just wondered what this lump was on the side of my thumb? His reply "I don't Know Mr.... but if you find out, please let me know as I've got one" he then shows me!
so I come out and someone told me to hit it with a big Bible, I didn't have one of them so I hit it with a lump of wood, true to form it bloody hurt but it did disapear!
so I come out and someone told me to hit it with a big Bible, I didn't have one of them so I hit it with a lump of wood, true to form it bloody hurt but it did disapear!
Sexlightened
Same Doctor as before! I was making some home made wine! yep I know it's sad, but it was a very cheep way to get sloshed at the time! As I was pushing the trap it the demi jar it snapped and the glass tube burried itself into the palm of my hand, I washed it to clean it out of any glass that might be there and then just put pressure to stop it bleeding. It was fine for a few weeks and it healed up but was still tender to touch the area.
I went to the Docs and explained, he looked over his desk and said no! no! that's fine it wouldn't heal if there was any glass in there! It didn't always give me grief but sometimes like using a screwdriver it hurt like hell!
about 10 years later I was absently picking at the scar in the middle of the palm of my hand and what pops out? yep a lump of glass
I went to the Docs and explained, he looked over his desk and said no! no! that's fine it wouldn't heal if there was any glass in there! It didn't always give me grief but sometimes like using a screwdriver it hurt like hell!
about 10 years later I was absently picking at the scar in the middle of the palm of my hand and what pops out? yep a lump of glass
Proctology is a field in medicine dealing with diseases and disorders of the rectum, anus, colon and pelvic floor. The word Proctology is derived from the Greek words Proktos, meaning anus or hindparts, and Logos meaning science or study.
Physicians specializing in this field of medicine are called proctologists. Most proctologists are surgeons by training. Proctologists often work closely with urologists.
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Physicians specializing in this field of medicine are called proctologists. Most proctologists are surgeons by training. Proctologists often work closely with urologists.
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sex God
It is dentists for me.........................
They fill your mouth full of gagets, and things THEN ask you a question
How the fck are you ment to answer???????????????
They fill your mouth full of gagets, and things THEN ask you a question
How the fck are you ment to answer???????????????
Quote by Hillfolk
Procotologists
Sam .......
But would you shake hands with on of them
Mrs Hilly xxxxx
Mrs Hilly ............. the definition and spelling were taken directly from the Medical Journal site on Google .............
"Proctology is a field in medicine dealing with diseases and disorders of the rectum, anus, colon and pelvic floor. The word Proctology is derived from the Greek words Proktos, meaning anus or hindparts, and Logos meaning science or study.
Physicians specializing in this field of medicine are called proctologists. Most proctologists are surgeons by training. Proctologists often work closely with urologists"
and No I wouldnt :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sexlightened
Quote by Hillfolk
Sorry I'm new to all this ....
Proctologists ......
Would you shake hands with one?
I'd shake hands with one, he's probally one the one doctor to shake hands with! By the time you go to see one of these, they've made you starve youself to death and the anal tract is one of the cleanist part of your body!
Skin doctors are the one's you shouldn't shake hands with! or STD one's
