There may be a number of useful threads on this site which provide advice for many people dipping their toes into the swinging jacuzzi of life... BUT... I have come to realise there are many thruths about swinging that the hardened swingers never tell you about.
Hopefully this thread will provide an additional source of information and tell you the things THEY never tell you about swinging.
Anyone else brave enough to mention one of the truths of swinging, please feel free to contribute to the fact file and share your wisdom with the innocent.
Fact File:
Swinging makes you hairy! FACT! Before having such an active sexual social life, I never had to shave, pluck, wax and trim so much before in my life. It is not just me... I have noticed many of my friends spend a significant amount of time grooming and removing body hair from various body areas. The only conclussion from this observation is that swinging increases the hair regrowth rate and therefore makes you hairy!
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The things THEY never tell you about swinging!
Fact File:
Swinging reduces the accuracy of your mobile phone bills! FACT! Before having such an active sexual social life, I always had minutes (usually hundreds) left over at the end of the month, these days 750 minutes trickle away and text bundles don't last either! I blame 3, their billing software must have bugs!
Swinging reduces the accuracy of your mobile phone bills! FACT! Before having such an active sexual social life, I always had minutes (usually hundreds) left over at the end of the month, these days 750 minutes trickle away and text bundles don't last either! I blame 3, their billing software must have bugs!
Sex God
Fact;
Swinging teaches you georgraphy!!! We have been to the most far flung places just to meet people or go to swinging clubs.
John & Shel
Swinging teaches you georgraphy!!! We have been to the most far flung places just to meet people or go to swinging clubs.
John & Shel
Quote by marmalaid
Fact File:
Swinging reduces the accuracy of your mobile phone bills! FACT! Before having such an active sexual social life, I always had minutes (usually hundreds) left over at the end of the month, these days 750 minutes trickle away and text bundles don't last either! I blame 3, there billing software must have bugs!
I'm sure on both your facts Marms...........that it is worth it though!!
Quote by da69ve
Fact File:
Swinging reduces the accuracy of your mobile phone bills! FACT! Before having such an active sexual social life, I always had minutes (usually hundreds) left over at the end of the month, these days 750 minutes trickle away and text bundles don't last either! I blame 3, their billing software must have bugs!
I'm sure on both your facts Marms...........that it is worth it though!!
Might be
Chris
PS Any chance you could correct my crap English in your quote!!!
Fact File:
Swinging costs a fortune! FACT! Besides all of the condoms, lube, body oils, sex toys and let's not forget the batteries - at £5-£15 a pop I must have spent £200 on stockings alone this year. They never tell you how long your sheer nylons will (or more to the point won't) last once you are getting ravaged buy the masses. A useful tip I found is to get the really thick opaque ones to go to the clubs and parties in - the low denier ones don't last two seconds with those talon-handed rough buggers!
Swinging costs a fortune! FACT! Besides all of the condoms, lube, body oils, sex toys and let's not forget the batteries - at £5-£15 a pop I must have spent £200 on stockings alone this year. They never tell you how long your sheer nylons will (or more to the point won't) last once you are getting ravaged buy the masses. A useful tip I found is to get the really thick opaque ones to go to the clubs and parties in - the low denier ones don't last two seconds with those talon-handed rough buggers!
Swinging makes your friends curious...very curious in fact
Where did you go this weekend Steve ?( my real name, yes i do have one
).
What sort of party ??
Why so far from home ???
Can i come with you next time?? ..............the times I have wanted to say 'yes', but had to put the poor creature off :cry:
Where did you go this weekend Steve ?( my real name, yes i do have one
). What sort of party ??
Why so far from home ???
Can i come with you next time?? ..............the times I have wanted to say 'yes', but had to put the poor creature off :cry:
