The Young Male Fascination with Older Women

11 Jun 2004

I've been lookin for an explanation for this seemingly common fetish young men have with older women and dont believe the conclusions I've reached.
Surely theres something deeper in it rather than just wanting someone who is more experienced sexually than yourself, but I didn't want to think it could be anything like wanting a mother figure :S
The only other thing I can think of, is that maybe as young men we're too used to seeing female bodies that are not yet fully developed and wish to see "the finished article"
However, the opposite side is, the older women dont seem at all interested in the younger man, as shown in the numerous threads looking for "mature ladies" that have zero replies.
I dont know what I'm asking here, really, well, only to ask if I'm a weirdo for preferring older women really ? confused

11 Jun 2004

I remember seeing a cartoon in a magazine once which had a middle-aged father and and his teenage son walking along a street past a middle-aged mother and her teenage daughter...
The father was ogling the daughter and the son was ogling the mother of course smile

Who knows exactly why :) I'm sure there are as many psycho-sexual explanations as there are people on this board :) From Oedipus to 'The Other', I'm sure (and I hope!) we'll never work it out :)

11 Jun 2004

Young men, don't leave out us older men !! :P
I honestly do not know the answer to the ' age old question'
But I do know that I personally prefer older ladies and have always had far more rewarding relationships with older ladies.
Even now as I approach middle age I much prefer the company of an older woman !! worship

I think it is something to do with the conversation, knowledge, enthusiasm and heightened sexual desire dunno

Age adds many different traits to people and I think that is what fascinates me, but who really knows ?? Horses for courses I suppose. blink

Dan

11 Jun 2004

Personally, a lot of the younger (late teens - late twenties) girls that I know are still very insecure about themselves and especially their bodies (I'm sure that probably goes for guys as well). Women who are 30 or over often seem more confident and "this is who i am, accept it" about themselves, which
(a.) is much sexier.
and
(b.) means they are more likely to 'let go' in bed, as they're not fretting about what their partner thinks of the way they look in quite the same way.
There's also the factor of unexplored territory - most young guys have had relationships with teens / twenties girls fairly recently, whereas 30+ women still possess the lure of the unknown. Plus women's sex drive is supposed to increase as they get over 30 smile

11 Jun 2004

ChairmanMiaow wrote:

Plus women's sex drive is supposed to increase as they get over 30

supposed to ???
I take it that you have never experienced this for yourself then ?? :doh:
Dan wink

11 Jun 2004

Not wanting to undermine the debate, but is it not the case that young lads believe that the older women in their mind is far easier prey than meeting someone their own age.
Just a thought!

11 Jun 2004

Well Marya - I am the opposite so maybe you could send me your rejects LOL
I have chatted to some folk that I get on well with (some of whom will be reading this) and then when I found out how young they were I took fright - not really sure why confused

It has done wonders for my ego though ntay0 to hear that they are only chatting cause they think I am easy prey sad

11 Jun 2004

I dont know about guys thinking older women are easy prey, surely it would be younger girls impressed that they own a car or something equally as normal or mundane as that...
Recieving abuse for knocking someone back is a bit lame...

11 Jun 2004

The problem is what is the definition of an older woman. To a teenager a thirty something is an older woman.
To a thirty something women being known as a mature woman is well an insult.

11 Jun 2004

Quote by Marya
I know this doesn't answer your question, but I LOVE younger men!

Same here..... I think part of it for me is the perception of "being in control" but who knows dunno

Quote by ChairmanMiaow
Plus women's sex drive is supposed to increase as they get over 30

If my memory serves me correctly I think the sexual peak for a woman is supposed to be 39 and for the men it's around the 19 mark.... And I can confirm that in my case this is true wink

I hit 40 last December and I have a much higher sex drive now than ever before :wink:

Quote by ntay0
but is it not the case that young lads believe that the older women in their mind is far easier prey than meeting someone their own age.

I agree with captain invincible on this one, but I can see your logic in there.... Maybe you are thinking along the lines of the fact that they will be grateful for the attention of a younger guy... For sure it's flattering but..... I dont really think that women over a certain age would actually fall for that ploy but there again you never know :wink:
Shireen
xx

11 Jun 2004

Quote by ntay0
To a thirty something women being known as a mature woman is well an insult.

you are learning..... I would be classed as middle aged :shock: but I sure dont feel it....
Shireen
xx

11 Jun 2004

Quote by shireen-steve
If my memory serves me correctly I think the sexual peak for a woman is supposed to be 39 and for the men it's around the 19 mark....

19 was when I discovered Internet porn. Ah, happy days with a grainy black-and-white monitor in my University's lab...

11 Jun 2004

Quote by Marya
I know this doesn't answer your question, but I LOVE younger men!
I'm 30 so still pretty much a spring chicken myself - or so I like to think - but young men have far more appeal for me than older man. In fact, I've only been with one guy over 30. The youngest was far too young for me to tell you!
I have wondered why and not come up with a good explanation yet. Maybe I feel more in control with a younger guy, and therefore more confident? Maybe their youthfulness and unrestrained enthusiasm is a turn-on? I really don't know.
I've had loads of abuse from guys on this site that I have rejected just because of age. I can't help the way I feel and I'm not about to apologise for it.
All I can say, is thank God for the obsession with older women that many young guys have!
Mxx

I quite agree with your sentiments, but from the opposite angle, in that by attraction & chance I encountered a woman 15 years older than me and I have to say hands down we both thoroughly enjoyed each other not because of the age difference, though I must admit in hindsight it was a huge turn on,but simply that in someway we clicked both in and out of bed. Surely that is the point or have I just been sucker punched

12 Jun 2004

I must be unusual, then... although being 39 it's nice to hear I'm in my sexual prime! biggrin

When I was a youngest I always went after older guys. Guys my own age didn't have the experience or security I was looking for. As I grew older, I tried guys more my own age and they STILL were crap! rolleyes

I now have a partner of 56 and he's a stud! Knows things about my body even I don't know! AND he's keeps an erection going for ever... the record is 2.5 hours! :twisted: :twisted:
I frequently get guys of 18,19,20 writing to me promising me the fuck of my life.... somehow I'm not convinced. wink

Hxx

12 Jun 2004

Quote by Heather
I must be unusual, then... although being 39 it's nice to hear I'm in my sexual prime!
When I was a youngest I always went after older guys. Guys my own age didn't have the experience or security I was looking for. As I grew older, I tried guys more my own age and they STILL were crap!
I now have a partner of 56 and he's a stud! Knows things about my body even I don't know! AND he's keeps an erection going for ever... the record is 2.5 hours! :twisted: :twisted:
I frequently get guys of 18,19,20 writing to me promising me the fuck of my life.... somehow I'm not convinced.
Hxx

i dont know about the fuck of your life , at that age dont they just do it in short bursts , but lots recovery time is minimal smile

12 Jun 2004

can i throw a spanner in the works here regarding the age debate......
is it just me... when i look at someone i don't even think about their again, if we talk and get along then that is fine by me...
as a close friend say to me... age is nothing but a number, you are as old as you feel... or the person you are feeling..... biggrin

:D :D
sean xxxxx
29 going on 59!!! lol

12 Jun 2004

whilst age is not important, it can be very erotic when the age gap adds a bit of spice for both parties.
As sixteen year old who managed to experience some delights of a older woman, I can honestly say the relationship was not about mutual love and sharing in the normal sense but about getting as much sex as possible.

12 Jun 2004

Quote by The lovely Shireen
I would be classed as middle aged but I sure dont feel it....

i'm quite sure you feel pretty bloody fantastic!!! <<< nudge, wink etc >>>

Quote by The very sexy Shireen
If my memory serves me correctly I think the sexual peak for a woman is supposed to be 39 and for the men it's around the 19 mark

oh......feck!!! :sad:

Quote by The quite probably forever beyond me Shireen
Maybe you are thinking along the lines of the fact that they will be grateful for the attention of a younger guy... For sure it's flattering but..... I dont really think that women over a certain age would actually fall for that ploy but there again you never know

oh ffs.......bugger!!!!
at 35 clearly well past my prime, but equally clearly still too young for the impossibly sexy, slightly older woman i sit just feet away from all day long, though that's nothing to do with fetishising the older woman. and i'm quite sure the "grateful for the attention" things is a rite load of b*ll*x!
generally the younger ones who are not quite so selective in my experience, and much more impressionable, if you go for that sorta thing!! oh! and younger women seem to have much lower expectations, maybe cos they haven't the experience to know what good sex is all about yet, so the ego massage of older guy, younger woman has the "wow, fantastic, what a stud" factor thrown in for good measure! IMHO ;-)
neil x x x x x x

12 Jun 2004

Quote by Heather
he's keeps an erection going for ever... the record is 2.5 hours! :twisted: :twisted:

Pah. That's nothing. cool

12 Jun 2004

Quote by shireen-steve
you are learning..... I would be classed as middle aged :shock: but I sure dont feel it....
Shireen
xx

Neither do I Shireen. I am 47 and certainly don't feel any different then when I was in my early thirties. I would also dispute the sexual prime for a woman being 39 - I think that is too much of a generalisation.
I don't think it is a physical thing linked to age, I think it is more to do with the fact that as you get older, your attitude changes, you become more relaxed, more aware of what pleases you. You know what makes you feel sexy and a woman who feels sexy oozes sex appeal. This is a big attraction for younger men.
Just my thoughts.........
Hugs, Alex (an oldie)

12 Jun 2004

Quote by Alexandra
I don't think it is a physical thing linked to age, I think it is more to do with the fact that as you get older, your attitude changes, you become more relaxed, more aware of what pleases you. You know what makes you feel sexy and a woman who feels sexy oozes sex appeal. This is a big attraction for younger men.
Just my thoughts.........
Hugs, Alex (an oldie)

Perfectly put Alex kiss

Shireen
xxx

12 Jun 2004

Erm Neilinleeds..............
You're a NUTTER!! lol

:lol: :lol: wink

:wink:
Shireen
xxx

12 Jun 2004

Actually, thinking about it again - it's not quite sex appeal - more like sensuality!
But I think you know what I mean!

12 Jun 2004

Quote by Alexandra

you are learning..... I would be classed as middle aged :shock: but I sure dont feel it....
Shireen
xx

Neither do I Shireen. I am 47 and certainly don't feel any different then when I was in my early thirties. I would also dispute the sexual prime for a woman being 39 - I think that is too much of a generalisation.
I don't think it is a physical thing linked to age, I think it is more to do with the fact that as you get older, your attitude changes, you become more relaxed, more aware of what pleases you. You know what makes you feel sexy and a woman who feels sexy oozes sex appeal. This is a big attraction for younger men.
Just my thoughts.........
Hugs, Alex (an oldie)
Itâ€™s an older woman everytime! Your right Alex older women know exactly what pleases them and often are not frightened to tell there respective partners(s) exactly how to do it! Older women have so much more sex appeal than younger women and of course a womanâ€™s sexual peak (so we are told) is way after us males (dam!).
Ooopps got to go somebody older than me is telling me what to do (if only!)
rolleyes

12 Jun 2004

Um, theres 16 years between Daz and i, he's 35 and i'm 19. He always used to go for older women when he was younger, but as he's got older, he's looked more at the personality as opposed to the age. I've been the same, where i've always been fairly confident within myself, (i am who i am, if you dont like it then tough!!!) i've just gone for people i like. It just happened that Daz was a LOT older than me, and its worked really well between us, i bring out the more immature side in him, and he's helped me grow up a lot!! (Even my mum agrees so it MUST be right!!)
I dont think theres a REASON why men go for older women or vice versa, i think its more about how you feel for that person, and if it's real love then age doesnt matter at all. In a swinging context, i couldnt give an educated opinion, apart from the fact that i feel like i couldnt swing with a man older than Daz, but thats just personal!!!

12 Jun 2004

Thatâ€™s a fair point it is how who get on with each other I just feel that older women hold more sex appeal for me personally. Then again is there anything more annoying than meeting someone only to find they have trouble in stringing more than a few sentences together!

12 Jun 2004

Hiya Lou
Yes - I totally agree with everything you said - on a one to one basis for a relationship - then it's personality every time. Age is totally irrelevant.
I just said what my thoughts were on why SOME younger men are attracted to older women.
Also I would also like to say that sensuality is not totally restricted to the older female - it can happen at any age once you feel happy with yourself. Some never acheive it, others are born with it. I think I was guilty of a bit of generalisation there confused

.
Hugs,
Alex x x x
PS Hubby is 7 years younger than me rolleyes

12 Jun 2004

Hi alex!!

Did i sound like i was making a dig at you hunny??I wasnt, honest!! I have to admit, i only read the first bit of a post then make my reply, lol!!!
Am off to look at your reply now to see what you said!! But honestly, my reply is just what i feel, i hadnt seen your reply babe!! :kiss:

12 Jun 2004

oh noooo Lou - Hugs!
I didn't think that at all!!!!!!!!
Your post just made me realise that I too had been guilty of generalisation.
So I just wanted to clarify myself.
Big big hugs!
Alex x x

12 Jun 2004

Oh ok then - glad we havent offended each other, lol!!!!
I agree with the points in your original post actually, a thread like this is great for getting peoples different opinions and thoughts, isnt it!!