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The Zoo Rude Jokes Book

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My parnter come with this joke book last night, and was reading them to me all night, thought I'd share a few ramdom ones.
A little girl goes to see Santa.
Santa says, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?'
She says, 'I want a Barbie & Action-man.'
Santa says, 'I thought Barbie came with Ken
She says, 'No: she comes with action-man; she fakes it with Ken.'
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two , if there small enough
Q. Why carn'y Miss Piggy count to 79?
A. She get a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
Q. How is a Monkey like a chainsaw?
A. they both fcuk up trees
Have you hreard of the new tampon line that have bells & tinsel
It's for the Christmas period.
Q. Whats the difference between pussy and apple pie
A. You can eat your mums apple pie
Q. Whats the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q What do you call a prostitue with a runny nose?
A. Full
like marmite you love :laughabove: or hate it :shock:
Loving that last one - filthy and funny like all the best jokes - but does conjur up an unpleasant image....
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Ro - ber - to!!
Nice one scooter99
they were new 2 me lol :lol:
try to remember them lol
Mr goodtimez