There now follows a statement from neilinleeds......

19 May 2004

<<< rather oily, seedy looking person in a cheap, shiny suit purporting to be neilinleeds solicitor >>>
if i had could please have your attention, there now follows a statement from neilinleeds......
neilinleeds wishes to apologise profusely for a recent thread, in which he found it appropriate to apologise profusely for something in excess of 200 "Completely pointless" posts.
despite hinting that he would try much harder in future to post something witty, cultured, urbane, sophisticated and actually worth reading, he's since learnt that complete and utter bollox seems to work rather well, and puts him in rather good company ((( vide Ping Pong inter alia etc )))
after long and careful deliberation re: aforesaid attempt at wit and subtlety, neilinleeds has now reached a decision to sod that for a game of soldiers, and concentrate on even more mindless drivel from now on!
neilinleeds wishes to apologise profusely ((( again!!! ))) in advance to all those who may have been hoping for something rather better than ill-considered, utterly non-sensical, irrelevant rubbish from him at long last!!

19 May 2004

I'm gonna reply before this one gets locked :!: :!:
Speaking as an increasingly inveterate drivel merchant:
"GOOD ON YER MATE!"

19 May 2004

Along that vein, I would like to ask a question that has been bugging me for years.............
Why is it that your own farts never smell as bad to you as they do to everyone else confused

:

19 May 2004

Quote by neilinleeds
if i had could please have your attention, there now follows a statement from neilinleeds......
after long and careful deliberation re: aforesaid attempt at wit and subtlety, neilinleeds has now reached a decision to sod that for a game of soldiers, and concentrate on even more mindless drivel from now on!

You mean you actually TRIED being witty and subtle??! Can't say I noticed . . . lol

:twisted:
Tracy-Jayne xxx

19 May 2004

I think you're great :thrilled: :thrilled:

19 May 2004

NeilinLeeds is living proof that if you drink Stella you too can be popular with the ladies on SwingingHeaven.
I've bought a van, anyone fancy a run to Calais?

20 May 2004

NeilinLeeds, say sorry just one more time........ it really turns me on, you sound soooooooo innoncent :twisted: wink

20 May 2004

Quote by bluexxx
NeilinLeeds, say sorry just one more time........ it really turns me on, you sound soooooooo innoncent :twisted:

Blue - if you saw the pictures i saw .... you wouldn't be calling Neil "innocent" :wink:
Lucy kiss

20 May 2004

Aw, don't spoil my fantasy about the innoncence of NeilinLeeds :twisted: ..... mind you, I'm very curious about what he's been up to...... :twisted:

20 May 2004

bluexxx..............i apologise profusely.............but.........
being the absolute soul of discretion, it is beholden on me to protect the reputations of those poor unfortunate girlies who, through now fault of their own, found their reputations besmirched by a brief but public display of..............well, i'm very very sorry but i can say no more!!!
and lucy i know you're winding me up about the piccies. there was just nowhere you could have secreted a blooming camera FFS!!!! redface

and i apologise profusely once again!!! <<< are you quite aroused now??? really??? >>>
apologies once again!
neil x x x x

20 May 2004

Neil
Don't woory about all those remarks and rumours about you being Bi... I'll be your alibi...but i guess that won't help, will it??
PMSL

20 May 2004

Blimey its just struck me, Neilinleeds, AndyinOldham
who are these people? where do they come from?

20 May 2004

Blimey its just struck me, Neilinleeds, AndyinOldham
who are these people? where do they come from?

Dave...I'm from Leeds, Neil's from Oldham

20 May 2004

bloody hell someone called I'mfromleeds is in the frame now, talk about confusing me. Andy has moved in with Neil in Leeds which wont do him a lot of good cos now Neils gone to Oldham.
I'm old mate, I think they left you behind

20 May 2004

Quote by AndyInOldham
Neil
Don't worry about all those remarks and rumours about you being Bi... I'll be your alibi...but i guess that won't help, will it??
PMSL

<<< slaps andy with a HUGE bag of spanners >>>
erm............noooooooooo........thanx.........t'is a vicious lie!!!
<<< tuts >>>
<<< wanders off muttering...............fecking tw@t.......... >>>
<<< carefully shreds andy's rep into lots of tiny little pieces >>>
neil x x x x x

20 May 2004

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, I'm all weak at the knees.........
Judy, you're so naughty lol

20 May 2004

pmsl @ judy !
Neil, I'm looking forward to meeting you for real, but can we make it early in the evening before you've had too much stella ?????
lol

20 May 2004

pmsl @ judy !
Neil, I'm looking forward to meeting you for real, but can we make it early in the evening before you've had too much stella ?????
lol

20 May 2004

Quote by neilinleeds
and lucy i know you're winding me up about the piccies. there was just nowhere you could have secreted a blooming camera FFS!!!!

Now i know you were 3sheets to the wind at that club neil :doh: ...... you haven't seen the size of my boobs LOL ...... you could suffocate between them :grin:
Lucy x

20 May 2004

guys thanks for all your replies. i'm rather proud of this thread! i've been trying to be subtle on some recent posts but like i said on me statement, subtles kinda out! lol

((( yeah i know FFS ya never noticed but i did have a bloody go! ok! )))
i didn't start this thread just so i could arrive here at some point. i had no intention of being anything other than completely flippant and hopefully a little amusing!! it's been rather tense in here of late! but i've just seen carpy's poetry thread, and my immediate response was "thank fuck for carpy. someone else is maybe thinking along the same lines as me!!!". and so it prompted quite some thought, first on poetry, and then onto carpy's possible intent behind his post! ! the ping pong thread another case in point. utterly pointless, no ego's involved one way or another, just a superb opportunity to all bounce off of each other and have some input, no matter how small, into the site to feel included! excellent work and i think rather cleverly done!!
i honestly don't put up posts like this in the hope of getting replies back onto the thread. i put them up because i've taken a huge amount from the site, and those members who help make it what it is. i post to add to and put back, honestly. all too often i put things up and then reconsider and pray they sink off page one at the very least as quickly as poss. i've had some encouraging pm's from several threads of late, and i prefer them so i dont need to reply either in pubic and look like im just keeping my own thread up! but thanx for those replies posted either way, really!
i'm going COMPLETELY off topic now and i'll apologise in advance. and i'll apologise again in the morning, and quite possibly try to delete it quick enough once i've thought better of it before anyone sees WTF it's my thread so hey! ;-) ((( apologies mods i'll take a slap like a man! )))
i think i've finally got the point. and it took a hell of a lot of thinking about i can tell you.
i'm an absolute internet newbie, johnny come lately, SH virgin, or was until very recently! ;-) ive been in the chat room about three months. in the forum actively for maybe 4 weeks or so. even in that short time ive seen enough to concern me about changes in the tone of the site in general, and about how people imagine this site works, their motives for getting involved, and how they cope with their disappointment. and how the way they vent their disappointment achieves for them the very thing they we're so angry about in the first place.
i never imagined, as some seem to do, that the site was simply a hunting ground for nymphomaniacs constantly searching ouit fresh victims, and i know that's a sweeping generalisation of some peoples intentions in coming here, but it is quite possibly statistically justifiable. i still find it hard to believe that some people obviously come to the site with that expectation. i'm mainly talking about the chatroom here. i've said in other threads i found the place by accident and never expected meets. tho of course it did cross my mind it might happen. and noone was more shocked than me when the opportunity first arose. but if i never met from here i wouldn't give a flying one!
i suppose i'm just concerned about the number of regs no longer coming into the chat room, and the number of resignations from the forum by very well liked, respected, established and valuable regulars! far too often it seems to be for swinging issues related to disappointment, either their own, or that expressed by others that helps kill the enjoyment of all of us. that such prolific and entertaining posters seem suddenly to have fallen silent, left, or reading between the lines expressed their exasperation at times as mods and members. it's a fairly direct message i think, if the guys that really love the place and give a lot to it seem to be getting pissed off.
come on! is it really all just about meets and swinging and random anonymous sex??? it obviously figures extremely highly in our thinking, but mostly we talk exactly the same kinda fairly random, inane bollox we say in the 'real' world., and sometimes find ourselves wishing we hadn't said that or had said this cos it would have been soooooooo funny at the time etc etc and we come to the site as much, if not more, for the 90% random bollox as we do the 10% swinging opportunity. i think so anyway!
a lot of regs have left or threatened to leave lately either because they either can't swing and feel fraudulent or they want to swing and are disapponted, or because the reward doesn't seem to warrant the hassle. i come here for a laugh. with some fantastic friends. very genuine ones who know exactly who they are. if i ever swing with them i'll count meself blessed. but if not i'll feel exactly the same.
so can we just all lighten up again. and try and start posting the stuff that got me into the site in the first place. and remember that it's just as frustrating in the real world as it is in here, but we ain't all likely to step off the earth for real over it now are we????
neil x x x x and i'm very very sorry! smackbottom

20 May 2004

Here Here - I agree with you completely Neil.
The things that make Swinging Heaven and this Forum great for us are the mixture of inane stupidity, humour, sensible advice and practical help.
There is also some sex as well.
We are a genuine swinging couple but to the best of our knowledge have not met anyone from this site yet. We come on here simply to talk about it and read about it.
Long live Swinging Heaven and may it never get too serious.
Roger
P.S. anyone want a shag?

21 May 2004

As someone who drops in on threads with nothing other than inane bollocks, I would like to add my couple of lines here and then return to total bollocks once more.
The purpose of my reading the threads and posts, as well as adding to them, is to have the kind of stupid, unresponsible giggles that we all find difficult to get out of everyday life, and to interact with other folk who also enjoy the banter that can be had. I do not feel a need to apologies for that and suspect that many other members are here for the same easy relaxed giggle, where we do not need to worry about causing offence or upset because the threads content simply couldn't allow it. I enjoy the wit, I enjoy the way folk bounce off each other and I enjoy the way that posts leave openings for those of you with sharper minds than I to get in there and spark it off on other tangents.
The forum caters for many ideas and personalities and long may it continue and I really do hope that the balance of topics and thread ideas, remains on an even keel, so that we can all join in. I for one would would hate to see things drift too heavily into specific areas and will always look for the oppurtunity to add to bolloocks.

21 May 2004

Quote by davej
to add my couple of lines here

17 lines to be exact

:rotflmao:

Quote by davej
total bollocks

my sentiments exactly lol

Quote by davej
for those of you with sharper minds than I

pass me a pencil sharpener someone please confused

Well said tho Roger and Davej .... I also love the mixture of

Quote by rogerthedragon
inane stupidity, humour, sensible advice and practical help.

Lucy

21 May 2004

I feel a group hug coming on......... lol

...... better still, anyone fancy a shag.......... :twisted:
wink

:wink: :wink:

21 May 2004

Group Hug?
Shag?
mmmm Ill take the shag please blue
( now lets go and talk some bollox) lol

21 May 2004

Quote by bluexxx
...... better still, anyone fancy a shag.......... :twisted:
:wink: :wink:

Me, Me, Me...
Seriously though, Neil has an excellent point.
One of the very many reasons I use this forum is because of it's lack of "Political Correctness". I get the distinct impression that most members of forum view Political Correctness as kneeing President Tony in the nuts :kick: !

21 May 2004

Sincere hand gesture
concerned frown thoughtfull enigmatic pause
Now well yknow Kneeing me in the nuts ....I have always had three major policies me me me oh shit no um bollox... um ..education education..um oh shit whats the third one
All hail president tony lol

21 May 2004

Well having read all of the above posts I found myself asking why :doh:
On reflection I think I reaffirmed two convictions I have.
1) the members of SH are intrinsically a pretty nice bunch.
2) Quantityis no substituete for Quality :lol2:
Oh and Judy good luck with your M(otorists) O(ppressive) T(axation)