I dunno if it is just me, or me being stupid? I am/have never been into being set in my ways, always the anarchist so to speak. Bending rules, fighting the system, you know? I have noticed, as time goes on here, you sort of find folk drift away from you, when you get on so long for such fun...and sometimes it sort of hurts. Maybe I come over all too strong and matter of factly at times. I know, like a few of us do, I get right on some peoples tits, metaphorically so to speak, but that is life..I accept that. It has been said many times posting multiple times appears to some to be a status. I am not really into being anything but me. I like to be the lune, the fool, the one who takes serious posts and can have a laugh with many. I often try to help when I cant do much, but hey that is me, trying at least.
I have recently spoken to a friend on here about just becoming someone new, the anarchist again, and dissapearing at 999 posts, but pondered on the fact that it may appear to be odd to some? I have always respected the really old timers on here, but I feel at times to be someone different, like a new person? I wondered if anyone else thought this way, ever? Maybe it is my age, my time of the month, the blues, the yellows or whatever??? Maybe it is just me thumb on nose again to the system, where I can take what i have learnt, and apply it differently. I just like a good old flirt and laugh on here, but some take it all to serious, and the odd jibe or snidy comment, Pm or lack of even an 'hello', does make me think about the earlier post of not being visible sometimes. It all may be bollox to some of you reading this, but I am often like a phoenix, renewing myself, and staleness is something that gets to me in the end. the masked balls really livened me up, and made me realise the anarchist from my youth is still alive. So any 'old' timers ever feel this way, or is it just me talking crap AGAIN...?
Off for tonight, but HOPING someone answers with an idea
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Those over the 500+ barrier...?
Perhaps we need to organise another ball! Then we could all get new identities.
I suppose on here we are different to real life (in real life I am a sexy, gorgeous women with enormous breasts were as on here I'm one half of a road sign.
Why not try it and see if anyone notices!
Mrs RSAB2 xxx
Oh and I understand I don't qualify <------------------------------ Ha ha now I do!!!!
I suppose on here we are different to real life (in real life I am a sexy, gorgeous women with enormous breasts were as on here I'm one half of a road sign.
Why not try it and see if anyone notices!
Mrs RSAB2 xxx
Oh and I understand I don't qualify <------------------------------ Ha ha now I do!!!!
Sex God
rocky... everyone here me included loves you!
there is always a space under my bed anytime u need it babe
xxxxxxx
there is always a space under my bed anytime u need it babe
xxxxxxx
Sex God
Rocky, so relieved to know it ain't just me. :smile: someone else who clearly thinks too much and worries bout rubbish . . . and for once i'm gonna try and pick my words very carefully . . .
i could have written that myself from time to time, occasionally the whole thing feels too important, and the insecurities i have in "real life" crop up in here just the same, so the temptation to retreat still deeper into anonymity comes up now and then. i've always had this tendency to put me foot right in it, both feet whenever poss, and too often i find myself saying something twattish i regret. but here it lingers for ever. that something i shouldn't have posted and regret remains on show, but with no context, with users not knowing me personally, or not getting references or in'jokes i understand and laugh at meself, and not knowing what tone and expression i used at the time i posted . . .
this is in no way a fishing expedition for compliments or critique, but i find myself being stupidly concerned about how the SH "audience" sees me or my posts at times. i don't expect to make an impact on everyone, same as i don't expect, need or want "everyone" in the real world to count me as a friend, but i count the people i chat with through threads as friends i've just not met yet, so maybe i value their opinion more than usual, and worry more about trivia when i do summat stupid or post something i see as a falure in some kinda way.
i feel as though there's almost an obligation on old-hands to contribute, and try and offer something that was given to them when they first arrived, and even ( and i know full well this seems the height of arrogance ! ) think in the absence of the Fred's/Wilma's/Artificer's on here, it's somehow important to try and suggest the "real" character of the forum as i see it, and hint at what's gone before, and the possibilities beyond endless discussion of tits and cocks and bums. i love tits 'n' bums as much as the next man ( or woman ;-) ) and they have a place, but i think a lot of the older regs like the cafe so much cos it's a bit of a retreat from those parts of the site overtly catering for the sex side, and that's what has made the place so hard to leave in the first place IMHO, but it isn't always quite so evident at times. i could never match even what passed for average every-day wit when i first joined, so all i can do is try and emulate the spirit of it if not the style and content.
i've twice been on the verge of asking for my login to be deactivated, partly because it solves that little ego thing that we all have, partly because it might help me re-evaluate just how important this place has become, but mainly because i found myself posting stuff i regretted and worried about cos i kinda expected myself to make some kinda contribution as a supposed old-hand, and posted just for the sake of posting whether i had owt to say or not at times.
my 500th post was kinda similar territory to yours here Rocky, cos i'd started to think that passing just one more milestone before the long haul to becoming Godlike was some kind of achievement and had some importance, at least to me, so i dealt with the temptation to just fire off even more ill-considered random bollox by trying not to post at all for a short while, because it brought the 500th nearer. i think it's pretty special here, it's a privelege to share in some the convos from from time to time, and 500 posts means something personal for me, cos i've been allowed to stay and encouraged enough to stick around and achieve it. i've found experiences and opportunities i never thought i'd have, and my confidence has gone through the roof mainly, but occasionally i worry about how rejection from such an open accepting place would feel?
fecking hell i could go on rambling but i'm boring myself writing it up and reading it back etc, seems a bit ironic that the majority on here are open-minded, forgiving, intelligent people with real emotional depth, and are probably more likely to overlook the odd rant or dumb statement, so i wonder if that's why their opinions matter. and worry at thoughts of a bad one. i think you get what i'm trying to say, so enuf said eh? :smile:
it's hard at times not dragging the real world shit in here with you, no matter how hard we try and seek refuge from it for a while. it's unreasonable to expect that not to come across at times in the subject matter you put, the tone of it, whether anyone wants read it or have you just commited threadmurder ( tm TuneEssence 2004 ) again!!!!
try and keep a sense or perspective on it. if you feel you need to post something that matters to you, even if it hurtles off the page unread, there's room for the opinions and tastes of us all, and while it's a rare thing but a very nice one to feel "now that was a damn good post if ever i saw one, at least one with my name on it" regardless i do know it takes masses of random rubbish to pad out my posts while i wait to be inspired. and i honestly think that i'm not allowed too much of an opinion about the characters or the content unless i'm willing to throw the stuff out there. if nothing else i think the effort's respected, even the failures.
neil x x x x x;-)
jesus can ya tell it was a long bloody night? make like Led Zep and "Ramble On . . . "
and for once i'm gonna try and pick my words very carefully . . .i could have written that myself from time to time, occasionally the whole thing feels too important, and the insecurities i have in "real life" crop up in here just the same, so the temptation to retreat still deeper into anonymity comes up now and then. i've always had this tendency to put me foot right in it, both feet whenever poss, and too often i find myself saying something twattish i regret. but here it lingers for ever. that something i shouldn't have posted and regret remains on show, but with no context, with users not knowing me personally, or not getting references or in'jokes i understand and laugh at meself, and not knowing what tone and expression i used at the time i posted . . .
this is in no way a fishing expedition for compliments or critique, but i find myself being stupidly concerned about how the SH "audience" sees me or my posts at times. i don't expect to make an impact on everyone, same as i don't expect, need or want "everyone" in the real world to count me as a friend, but i count the people i chat with through threads as friends i've just not met yet, so maybe i value their opinion more than usual, and worry more about trivia when i do summat stupid or post something i see as a falure in some kinda way.
i feel as though there's almost an obligation on old-hands to contribute, and try and offer something that was given to them when they first arrived, and even ( and i know full well this seems the height of arrogance ! ) think in the absence of the Fred's/Wilma's/Artificer's on here, it's somehow important to try and suggest the "real" character of the forum as i see it, and hint at what's gone before, and the possibilities beyond endless discussion of tits and cocks and bums. i love tits 'n' bums as much as the next man ( or woman ;-) ) and they have a place, but i think a lot of the older regs like the cafe so much cos it's a bit of a retreat from those parts of the site overtly catering for the sex side, and that's what has made the place so hard to leave in the first place IMHO, but it isn't always quite so evident at times. i could never match even what passed for average every-day wit when i first joined, so all i can do is try and emulate the spirit of it if not the style and content.
i've twice been on the verge of asking for my login to be deactivated, partly because it solves that little ego thing that we all have, partly because it might help me re-evaluate just how important this place has become, but mainly because i found myself posting stuff i regretted and worried about cos i kinda expected myself to make some kinda contribution as a supposed old-hand, and posted just for the sake of posting whether i had owt to say or not at times.
my 500th post was kinda similar territory to yours here Rocky, cos i'd started to think that passing just one more milestone before the long haul to becoming Godlike was some kind of achievement and had some importance, at least to me, so i dealt with the temptation to just fire off even more ill-considered random bollox by trying not to post at all for a short while, because it brought the 500th nearer. i think it's pretty special here, it's a privelege to share in some the convos from from time to time, and 500 posts means something personal for me, cos i've been allowed to stay and encouraged enough to stick around and achieve it. i've found experiences and opportunities i never thought i'd have, and my confidence has gone through the roof mainly, but occasionally i worry about how rejection from such an open accepting place would feel?
fecking hell i could go on rambling but i'm boring myself writing it up and reading it back etc, seems a bit ironic that the majority on here are open-minded, forgiving, intelligent people with real emotional depth, and are probably more likely to overlook the odd rant or dumb statement, so i wonder if that's why their opinions matter. and worry at thoughts of a bad one. i think you get what i'm trying to say, so enuf said eh? :smile:
Quote by JudyTVLife is a bit of an up and downer at times and it affects us all differently. Personally there is a lot of crap going on in my life at the moment but I try to keep the horizon in sight. It doesn't always work but then life is like that isn't it?
it's hard at times not dragging the real world shit in here with you, no matter how hard we try and seek refuge from it for a while. it's unreasonable to expect that not to come across at times in the subject matter you put, the tone of it, whether anyone wants read it or have you just commited threadmurder ( tm TuneEssence 2004 ) again!!!!
try and keep a sense or perspective on it. if you feel you need to post something that matters to you, even if it hurtles off the page unread, there's room for the opinions and tastes of us all, and while it's a rare thing but a very nice one to feel "now that was a damn good post if ever i saw one, at least one with my name on it" regardless i do know it takes masses of random rubbish to pad out my posts while i wait to be inspired. and i honestly think that i'm not allowed too much of an opinion about the characters or the content unless i'm willing to throw the stuff out there. if nothing else i think the effort's respected, even the failures.
neil x x x x x;-)
jesus can ya tell it was a long bloody night? make like Led Zep and "Ramble On . . . "
Neil old bean I love ya! I think in the pm you sent after, along with Davej, it made sense about what I had put and how difficult it was to portray. Judy hun...thanks too for the words. To everyone else, I am not really packing it all in, just toying with possibles. Rocky Horror is who I was when I came on, and I am not going to disapear, though some may well wish it, more a double edged blade, and just my own ideals. If you have noticed I constantly change avitars and quotes, like someone trying to find themself? It is just not me, being in a set way, a set persona so to speak. Their are only three ways I will get off here, one is to find I am not really wanted, which has to be a bit like being the orgre in shrek...and the other is to be banned, and the last is to just stop...! I think neil and davej hit many nails in pm, and maybe I am not alone in my thoughts of becoming or evolving to someone more ME.
Like I said to many it will appear to be bollox or to some maybe an attempt to have the sympathy treatment, which I do respect, but I am not trying to get a back slapping and it will be all ok's. I do love most people on here, and find most posts great to read, and I like to join in, but sometimes Rocky Horror does tire me in his/my input? I know, you are thinking 'we have a psycho here', well I have always been loopy, but maybe their are more out their who sometimes think i would rather have been known as....? Being part of a couple and assuming seperate identities has become the norm now, and I think they too need 'their' own persona....? I guess it is a tune in to see what happens train of thought, but for now, sigh, i am still undecided to what/where it goes.....
LOL
ME
:
Like I said to many it will appear to be bollox or to some maybe an attempt to have the sympathy treatment, which I do respect, but I am not trying to get a back slapping and it will be all ok's. I do love most people on here, and find most posts great to read, and I like to join in, but sometimes Rocky Horror does tire me in his/my input? I know, you are thinking 'we have a psycho here', well I have always been loopy, but maybe their are more out their who sometimes think i would rather have been known as....? Being part of a couple and assuming seperate identities has become the norm now, and I think they too need 'their' own persona....? I guess it is a tune in to see what happens train of thought, but for now, sigh, i am still undecided to what/where it goes.....
LOL
ME
: Rocky
I have only just read this thread.
You should do whatever you feel is best for you!
You are a kind and considerate man and you were very helpful and suportive when my sister was really ill.
You contribute much to this forum. But I too understand some of you thoughts.
As has already been said - just be you as YOU want to be - not who you think everyone else wants to see.
You have many friends on here who would be sad if you left. Myself included. True friends are those who take the person for what they really are and not a superficial persona.
But at the end of the day it is your life (and you only have one shot at it) so do what you feel is right, but BE YOURSELF.
So Good Luck in whatever direction you want to go - even if that direction is downwards onto your PC chair to stay just where you are.
Hugs, Alex x
I have only just read this thread.
You should do whatever you feel is best for you!
You are a kind and considerate man and you were very helpful and suportive when my sister was really ill.
You contribute much to this forum. But I too understand some of you thoughts.
As has already been said - just be you as YOU want to be - not who you think everyone else wants to see.
You have many friends on here who would be sad if you left. Myself included. True friends are those who take the person for what they really are and not a superficial persona.
But at the end of the day it is your life (and you only have one shot at it) so do what you feel is right, but BE YOURSELF.
So Good Luck in whatever direction you want to go - even if that direction is downwards onto your PC chair to stay just where you are.
Hugs, Alex x
I think it`s great that you put so much emphasis on `finding yourself`, and wish to put the same importance upon your online persona.. I don`t think it` s bollocks, I think it`s growing. It`s a rare person who remains static throughtout thier life (a sad one to boot), but even rarer is a person who cares so much about how this would effect thier account. Thankyou for sharing.
I also think it`s great that you aren`t likely to disappear
Just a thought, rather than start out as a newbie again, why not have the Mods change you name?
Venusxxx
I also think it`s great that you aren`t likely to disappear
Just a thought, rather than start out as a newbie again, why not have the Mods change you name?
Venusxxx
Part of it is to do with the fact many fob off the godlike thingy, and some just blank you, or seem to. Thanks for the 'thanks' Alex, I still do send my thoughts your way for your sister, because that is me in the end. I will not disapear, but it is the oncoming 1000 that gets closer, and I dont ponder on my input on here, but what is within me. I do welcome the chat and friends I have on here VERY MUCH, but it often feels to me I have adopted a persona that came to me too quickly, and before I knew it, I am almost well into the highest posters. I just find it great on here, but sometimes I feel like a bodysnatcher and want to be released? I could be teetering on insanity...maybe?
