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Hi all I'm new to the site and have a quick question. My wife and I have discussed 3sums. Initially we were both up for it as we both said that if she had a mmf I'd have a ffm. As we started to get into the planning phase she said she wasn't sure as she didn't know how she would feel with me seeing her with another man and her seeing me with another woman. Are these feelings normal and has anyone got any advice for us to see if we can possibly progress past this onto the fun?
Many thanks for looking
George
why dont u start by meeting cpls... that way u both have fun n see how it go s. or go to a club n watch...or a spa...or start slow n go to a local social.
Agreed. I think going down the threesome route first maybe a mistake. Go to a club just to have a look around and see how you feel. There's no pressure on you to do anything. You may end up wanting to find a quiet corner or a private room to play on your own.
Whatever happens always discuss it with your partner first, never assume that they'll be ok with it.
Above all remember we are all here to have fun and it must be fun for everyone.
Quote by geomorri
Hi all I'm new to the site and have a quick question. My wife and I have discussed 3sums. Initially we were both up for it as we both said that if she had a mmf I'd have a ffm. As we started to get into the planning phase she said she wasn't sure as she didn't know how she would feel with me seeing her with another man and her seeing me with another woman. Are these feelings normal and has anyone got any advice for us to see if we can possibly progress past this onto the fun?
Many thanks for looking
George

a couples account would be a good start blink and quick trip to the chat rooms for both of you and see how you both get on watching the other flirt in the chatrooms wink
The feelings of uncertainty are perfectly normal. As has been said a couple may be a better choice of first meet and getting into the chat rooms will intrduce you to people you amy be interesetd in meeting.
the golden rule is only do what your both comfortable with.
if one isnt happy about something or has second thoughts just support them,
for some people it isnt that easy and they talk about it but change their mind on the day.
its called nerves and is perfectly normal.
maybe meet people for a drink first and see what you think. no pressure that way.
good luck
Should you wish to use this site and the combined wisdom of its amazing members as guidance for your 'career' in swinging then we would suggest that you start with a more detailed and above all truthful profile.
If you're really a couple then at least have a couples profile.
Providing advice to a single fella maskerading as a couple on how to introduce his wife to swinging is a pointless task for all concerned and we have better things to do with our time.
You have a single account...you will be treated suspiciously even if you have a couples account. If you just think swinging may suit you both then go to a club and see how SHE feels about it. Not worth adding anything more at this stage....be up front and honest about where you want to go as a couple.
Quote by geomorri
she didn't know how she would feel with me seeing her with another man and her seeing me with another woman.

But according to your advert, seeking a couple for yourself, she won't be there so she won't see you dunno
Over the years I've had several mmf threesomes, and my friend, who I met through this site, is eager to experience her first.
However, and I never really gave this much thought, as much as she wants to do it, the thought of an arranged threesome turns her off the idea. She would be more comfortable if we had one 'unexpectedly' with someone we chanced upon.
Because prevailing circumstances dogging and clubs are pretty much out of the question so how we will manage our first threesome together remains to be seen.
Quote by steve_hockley
Over the years I've had several mmf threesomes, and my friend, who I met through this site, is eager to experience her first.
However, and I never really gave this much thought, as much as she wants to do it, the thought of an arranged threesome turns her off the idea. She would be more comfortable if we had one 'unexpectedly' with someone we chanced upon.
Because prevailing circumstances dogging and clubs are pretty much out of the question so how we will manage our first threesome together remains to be seen.

Does it have to be with a guy who labels himself as being a swinger by going to clubs or being on a site like this? Could you not just go out for a drink together and pull a vanilla guy? I'm sure most single guys would be obliging.
About 5 years after we were married, my wife and I had a 4some with our best friends. At the time I thought it was a failure and having played with each others partners we ended fucking our own partners, which was odd as my wife had been having an affair with the other man. My wife was just not happy ‘doing it’ in front of me, or seeing me.
Now I know that that 4some set the way we swing. We have more of an open marriage. We have played a few time in front of others, but it works for us.
The key thing is, once you do something you can not undo it. Take it easy, go as fast and far as the slowest wants to go.
It’s about fun, you can not have fun if you worry. Perhaps she is worrying about what you will think of her. I know of a couple, both want to play, both worry about what the other is thinking about. They are in love, and care about each other. That’s a good thing.
Give it time, you never know what could happen by chance.
Travis
Quote by Funlovers2009
Over the years I've had several mmf threesomes, and my friend, who I met through this site, is eager to experience her first.
However, and I never really gave this much thought, as much as she wants to do it, the thought of an arranged threesome turns her off the idea. She would be more comfortable if we had one 'unexpectedly' with someone we chanced upon.
Because prevailing circumstances dogging and clubs are pretty much out of the question so how we will manage our first threesome together remains to be seen.

Does it have to be with a guy who labels himself as being a swinger by going to clubs or being on a site like this? Could you not just go out for a drink together and pull a vanilla guy? I'm sure most single guys would be obliging.
There is some really valid and good advice on this thread already, not much to add really, I support the "visit a club and see what happens first hand, go home and discuss it in more detail with the hindsight of both your reactions to what you have seen" and the "don't even think about it while you have a single male profile"
But the comment above would work for some, however, my personal opinion is that it is better to seek the "services" of a professional ie a swinger, picking guys up in bars can bring it's own problems, many swinging single guys, understand the mathematics and social concept of swinging, the ettiquette and reasoning why people do it, they know that they are all there for "mutual fun on the night, 100% no strings" it is what you want and what they want. In a bar a guy can get the wrong impression, that you have chosen him because your wife has deeper feelings for him than she may have, that he is being invited because she needs a replacement for you and not just an occasional added bonus of the no strings group (3some) sex which cannot be achieved through monogomy.
Alternatively, get yourself to a social or a munch. A great way to meet people and share thoughts on where you want to go with this but without the pressure. :thumbup:
Quote by MidsCouple24
Over the years I've had several mmf threesomes, and my friend, who I met through this site, is eager to experience her first.
However, and I never really gave this much thought, as much as she wants to do it, the thought of an arranged threesome turns her off the idea. She would be more comfortable if we had one 'unexpectedly' with someone we chanced upon.
Because prevailing circumstances dogging and clubs are pretty much out of the question so how we will manage our first threesome together remains to be seen.

Does it have to be with a guy who labels himself as being a swinger by going to clubs or being on a site like this? Could you not just go out for a drink together and pull a vanilla guy? I'm sure most single guys would be obliging.
There is some really valid and good advice on this thread already, not much to add really, I support the "visit a club and see what happens first hand, go home and discuss it in more detail with the hindsight of both your reactions to what you have seen" and the "don't even think about it while you have a single male profile"
But the comment above would work for some, however, my personal opinion is that it is better to seek the "services" of a professional ie a swinger, picking guys up in bars can bring it's own problems, many swinging single guys, understand the mathematics and social concept of swinging, the ettiquette and reasoning why people do it, they know that they are all there for "mutual fun on the night, 100% no strings" it is what you want and what they want. In a bar a guy can get the wrong impression, that you have chosen him because your wife has deeper feelings for him than she may have, that he is being invited because she needs a replacement for you and not just an occasional added bonus of the no strings group (3some) sex which cannot be achieved through monogomy.

I really don't see how joining a site makes someone a 'professional swinger' or in fact make them more likely to understand the etiquette. Have you any idea how many single guys from this and other swinging sites have asked me to meet them behind my husbands back? If you picked up a single guy in a pub somewhere you wouldn't have to even tell him your real names never mind any contact details so there could never be any come back. Just sex. Just my opinion.
Quote by Funlovers2009
Over the years I've had several mmf threesomes, and my friend, who I met through this site, is eager to experience her first.
However, and I never really gave this much thought, as much as she wants to do it, the thought of an arranged threesome turns her off the idea. She would be more comfortable if we had one 'unexpectedly' with someone we chanced upon.
Because prevailing circumstances dogging and clubs are pretty much out of the question so how we will manage our first threesome together remains to be seen.

Does it have to be with a guy who labels himself as being a swinger by going to clubs or being on a site like this? Could you not just go out for a drink together and pull a vanilla guy? I'm sure most single guys would be obliging.
There is some really valid and good advice on this thread already, not much to add really, I support the "visit a club and see what happens first hand, go home and discuss it in more detail with the hindsight of both your reactions to what you have seen" and the "don't even think about it while you have a single male profile"
But the comment above would work for some, however, my personal opinion is that it is better to seek the "services" of a professional ie a swinger, picking guys up in bars can bring it's own problems, many swinging single guys, understand the mathematics and social concept of swinging, the ettiquette and reasoning why people do it, they know that they are all there for "mutual fun on the night, 100% no strings" it is what you want and what they want. In a bar a guy can get the wrong impression, that you have chosen him because your wife has deeper feelings for him than she may have, that he is being invited because she needs a replacement for you and not just an occasional added bonus of the no strings group (3some) sex which cannot be achieved through monogomy.

I really don't see how joining a site makes someone a 'professional swinger' or in fact make them more likely to understand the etiquette. Have you any idea how many single guys from this and other swinging sites have asked me to meet them behind my husbands back? If you picked up a single guy in a pub somewhere you wouldn't have to even tell him your real names never mind any contact details so there could never be any come back. Just sex. Just my opinion.
It really goes without saying that you are absolutely right in your opinion, at least in my opinion of your opinion, I agree wholeheartedly both that being a member of this or another swinger site does not make you a swinger automatically, my own view is that there are less real swingers on this site than there are "cammers, pic collectors, fakes, timewasters and the like" people who will never actually meet anyone but enjoy the site as much as we do. Of course I refer to "real swingers" as being those that do meet others one way or another, swinging has diversified to cover a multitude of lifestyle passions. So when I say "get a professional swingers" I mean just that, one that can prove to the individual that he does understand the lifestyle as opposed to one who doesn't and one that perhaps would see it in the same way that I believe many guys in a vanilla bar would see it. There are many guys on here that do understand the reasoning behind it, the ettiquette, the need for respect, the no means no rule, the meanind of "no strings" and all other aspects of arranging meets and it is to those guys I would direct people to seek, how they determine which ones that is and which ones it isn't is up to them. Clearly the guys who ask you to meet behind your husbands back have no idea of the swinging lifestyle other than those I said vanilla guys in bars may have, in short an easy lay cos she fancies the pants off me and is not satisified with her partner. Yes ideally false names in a bar of a town you will probably rarely visit would be a good idea but that is not feasable for everyone, homes require knowledge of your address, hotels require credit card details, a paper trail can be left quite easily.
tell her she will be OK. as long as she don't look down smile
The reason we’ve joined (hello everyone lol ) is because my partner (the Mrs) has wanted to try it for a long time and we’ve been recommended this site by a couple who are already members on here. We feel that if your strong enough in your relationship then there’s no issue biggrin because we are not making love to the third person we are fulfilling “an itch” passionkiss It actually makes us realise how much we do love each other and how strong we are.
We’ve discussed it for a long time and we both want to try it……..so we’ve joined the site and now we’re excided about getting to know a few people on here and if we “get down to it” and we’re not ready then at least we can say we tried and didn’t sit there thinking what if wink