Time wasters only unite here.

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.

It is a perfectly credible site. We joined in April, both totally new to the scene - our only real information about swinging at that point was from a friend who had started swinging with her boyfriend. It's now June and so far, we've met lots of really friendly, like-minded people who we can talk to about questions we have. The vast majority of people on the site are really genuine and down-to-earth. We've had 3 meets, but then decided to wait a while and explore things more before arranging any more. We've had the benefit of other people's experiences in short listing clubs to visit. We've been accompanied to a club by a great guy, which made the experience much nicer for us. And we're going to the Coventry social so that we can meet more people in the scene and continue our journey of discovering what we both want from swinging and all the pleasures it brings!
I repeat. We joined in April. We're not on any other sites. And we've only met 3 guys so far, but have chatted with loads of people - guys, girls and couples. Most of the people we chat to we will probably never meet. But that doesn't mean there's nothing to be gained from it. Why should the focus be entirely on meets? Surely there's got to be more to a good swinging site than just being a place to arrange hook ups?
Perhaps I'm just too new to it to understand how people can get so irritated by what others choose to use the site for...?
I love the site. I think it rocks! kiss

Lilith xx

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.

And who made you the SH police? confused

You're aware I take it that many, many users ( if not most in fact ) go through stages where they're actively looking for meets, periods where they're not looking to meet at all, and periods where they're just generally open to the possibilities SH occasionally offers and will see what happens to come their way. How do you suggest they should go about things, not that your opinion on the subject is of any concern whatsoever as far as the way other people choose to use the site goes, you understand. rolleyes

20 Jun 2012

Quote by tweeky
I wasted 3 hours last night with a single male when I could have been on here disabling Shrep and fitting in..sorry guys! I'll try harder next time!

:laughabove: Funny that!!... I wasted 3 hours last night too :wink:
Hah, part timers rolleyes

Ha ha, we may have a difference of opinion, with regards to what me '3 hours' may involve N smile

......
Although I am getting on Neil :)

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
After reading a few threads on here recently I have decided I am a time waster.
How I have decided this is by answering a few simple questions in my head.
1. I used to meet but don't anymore must = A time waster
2. I chat and have a laugh with people and because of number 1 above = A time waster
3. I don't arrange meets anymore = A time waster
4. I like chatting to people with like minds = wasting their time.
So adding it all up I must be a time waster and proud to be one.
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?
Do drop in and say hi

Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.
Personally I would have checked her profile before making a total arse of yourself!
Here's a short quote from it: 'I no longer want to meet'
Is that not upfront enough?

20 Jun 2012

We are not meeting at the moment as workload is just to high...
And OMG we don't use Shrep as don't like it.
Does that make us timewasters?
hmmmm let me just check with all the people we have met in the last 9 year lol

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Inanna

Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.

It is a perfectly credible site. We joined in April, both totally new to the scene - our only real information about swinging at that point was from a friend who had started swinging with her boyfriend. It's now June and so far, we've met lots of really friendly, like-minded people who we can talk to about questions we have. The vast majority of people on the site are really genuine and down-to-earth. We've had 3 meets, but then decided to wait a while and explore things more before arranging any more. We've had the benefit of other people's experiences in short listing clubs to visit. We've been accompanied to a club by a great guy, which made the experience much nicer for us. And we're going to the Coventry social so that we can meet more people in the scene and continue our journey of discovering what we both want from swinging and all the pleasures it brings!
I repeat. We joined in April. We're not on any other sites. And we've only met 3 guys so far, but have chatted with loads of people - guys, girls and couples. Most of the people we chat to we will probably never meet. But that doesn't mean there's nothing to be gained from it. Why should the focus be entirely on meets? Surely there's got to be more to a good swinging site than just being a place to arrange hook ups?
Perhaps I'm just too new to it to understand how people can get so irritated by what others choose to use the site for...?
I love the site. I think it rocks! kiss

LB1
Inanna
As two attractive bi females I am sure your experience of the site is VASTLYdifferent to any number of single guys on here.

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Trevaunance
After reading a few threads on here recently I have decided I am a time waster.
How I have decided this is by answering a few simple questions in my head.
1. I used to meet but don't anymore must = A time waster
2. I chat and have a laugh with people and because of number 1 above = A time waster
3. I don't arrange meets anymore = A time waster
4. I like chatting to people with like minds = wasting their time.
So adding it all up I must be a time waster and proud to be one.
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?
Do drop in and say hi

Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.
Personally I would have checked her profile before making a total arse of yourself!
Here's a short quote from it: 'I no longer want to meet'
Is that not upfront enough?
Are you always so impolite?
Basic manners and civility cost nothing.
As for looking at the profile I was making a general point not a specific one. Apologies if the subtlety was lost on you. Now what were you saying about making an arse?

20 Jun 2012

Quote by neilinleeds
Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.

And who made you the SH police? confused

You're aware I take it that many, many users ( if not most in fact ) go through stages where they're actively looking for meets, periods where they're not looking to meet at all, and periods where they're just generally open to the possibilities SH occasionally offers and will see what happens to come their way. How do you suggest they should go about things, not that your opinion on the subject is of any concern whatsoever as far as the way other people choose to use the site goes, you understand. rolleyes

So people are not allowed an opinion then? No dissenting voices are to be heard? No surprises there.
I simply made the point that on a swingers site you have to be naive not to realise that some will be perturbed if others will not meet. Not really rocket science just human nature.

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
Are you always so impolite?
Basic manners and civility cost nothing.

How impolite is it to come across all confrontational accusing someone of being a timewaster, even though they clearly state many times on the profile you failed to read that they are not meeting people at the moment?
Is it not even more impolite to accuse them of being a timewaster even though they have not wasted your time, or anyone elses as far as I am aware.
Your right, basic manners and civility cost nothing. Just like reading profiles.

20 Jun 2012

Ohhhhhhh Minxy look at what you have started lol

Btw same place same time tonight? wink

P x

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Theladyisaminx
After reading a few threads on here recently I have decided I am a time waster.
How I have decided this is by answering a few simple questions in my head.
1. I used to meet but don't anymore must = A time waster
2. I chat and have a laugh with people and because of number 1 above = A time waster
3. I don't arrange meets anymore = A time waster
4. I like chatting to people with like minds = wasting their time.
So adding it all up I must be a time waster and proud to be one.
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?
Do drop in and say hi

ooohhh that sounds just like me.:wave:
I dont play any more since having the baby (who is not 2 1/2), but do like to lurk on here and see whats going on, and i know that if ever i needed advice of a sexual/adult nature that I would (more than likely!) get a sensible answer and not have anyone thinking im odd or a weirdo or a pervert for asking the question

20 Jun 2012

There's only one sort of real time waster and that's an out and out liar, otherwise it seems to be a title bantered around by others on swinging sites because someone didn't fit with their criteria.
We're all looking for different things. Sure you can classify it all as sex, but what's pleasurable to one might not be to another etc.
Sometimes, in communicating with someone you uncover something that makes you realise they're not the great match you originally thought or hoped. This could happen really quickly or it could happen over a series of messages/interactions. Does that make them a time waster? Or worse still you one? Only if you allow yourself to think of it that way and I'm fairly certain most reasonable people wouldn't.
I love the fact we're all different, it provides so much variety and experiences. It's hilarious when someone who hasn't yet developed the nounce to realise this crashes into a discussion loudly claiming their way is the only way and all others are therefore wrong or stupid. One day they'll perhaps realise how stupid they are smile

There's a lot of truth to live and let live - especially in this game.
Now, back to getting ready to go out and waste some time tonight :)

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
Inanna
As two attractive bi females I am sure your experience of the site is VASTLY different to any number of single guys on here.

Yes, but wasn't your point that people shouldn't be using the site to socialise? My point was that the site has enabled us to arrange hook ups, but it has also provided so much more. As newbies on the scene (regardless of gender or sexuality), this site has a lot to offer. I guess I just think that you get out of it what you put in, and that there's more to swinging than arranging meets.
I wasn't suggesting that our experience is the same as everyone's and I recognise that it's harder for single guys. But I wasn't making a comment on how easy it is to arrange meets depending on gender, sexuality, age, status or anything else. I was responding to your comment that the site is not credible as a swinging site because people use it for things other than meets.
Yes it probably is easier for us to get what we want from the site given that we're two young(ish) bi women, but if it makes you feel any better, we meet and play as a couple and so far have been primarily looking for single guys...!
Lilith xx

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Inanna
but if it makes you feel any better, we meet and play as a couple and so far have been primarily looking for single guys...!

Ditto :thumbup:

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
So people are not allowed an opinion then?

Of course, you're allowed an opinion, even when it's so plainly wrong.

I simply made the point that on a swingers site you have to be naive not to realise that some will be perturbed if others will not meet.

Why? Who are these people so perturbed by the fact other users might not be meeting right now but still use the site? Maybe they should revise their expectations, and their definition of what constitutes an 'actual swinger' ( your words ). I'm not meeting at the moment but I have done in the past, I may do again in the future. Whether that makes me a swinger in your eyes matters not one iota, because SH is not just about arranging meets. I would argue that swinging is as much to do with mindset as it is to do with the physical acts engaged in. SH provides a focus for a community of like-minded people who share a common interest and to some extent a similar mindset, varied though that is. I would argue that it is that mindset that more accurately defines who and what a swinger is than any number of meets and any number of physical acts.
Anyways, for the avoidance of all future doubt, until I decide I might want to try and start meeting again I'll stick this in me signature, how's that?

On second thoughts I won't cos it's turned out a bit too big and doesn't scale very well as a gif, and I can't be arsed photoshopping it again! lol

20 Jun 2012

Cor blimey!
I have nothing to add but I felt I was was missing out smile

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Inanna

Inanna
As two attractive bi females I am sure your experience of the site is VASTLY different to any number of single guys on here.

Yes, but wasn't your point that people shouldn't be using the site to socialise? My point was that the site has enabled us to arrange hook ups, but it has also provided so much more. As newbies on the scene (regardless of gender or sexuality), this site has a lot to offer. I guess I just think that you get out of it what you put in, and that there's more to swinging than arranging meets.
I wasn't suggesting that our experience is the same as everyone's and I recognise that it's harder for single guys. But I wasn't making a comment on how easy it is to arrange meets depending on gender, sexuality, age, status or anything else. I was responding to your comment that the site is not credible as a swinging site because people use it for things other than meets.
Yes it probably is easier for us to get what we want from the site given that we're two young(ish) bi women, but if it makes you feel any better, we meet and play as a couple and so far have been primarily looking for single guys...!
Hi Inanna
No my point was that if people are only here to socialise and not swing then they should not be overly surprised when others expect them to actually swing. Seeing as though this is a swingers site not a just social one.
Is that really overly unreasonable as so many seem to think it is? dunno

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Trevaunance
Are you always so impolite?
Basic manners and civility cost nothing.

How impolite is it to come across all confrontational accusing someone of being a timewaster, even though they clearly state many times on the profile you failed to read that they are not meeting people at the moment?
Is it not even more impolite to accuse them of being a timewaster even though they have not wasted your time, or anyone elses as far as I am aware.
Your right, basic manners and civility cost nothing. Just like reading profiles.
lol

Confrontational? My apologies I did not mean to disturb anyones delicate composition.
As for your repeated point regarding the profile, I did not view it as I was not making a specific point about the person in question rather a more general point. And I did not accuse anyone of being a timewaster I simply asserted that they should not be overly surprised that some may do so. Seeing as though most people, especially newcomers not familiar with the site, may be expecting swingers on a swinging site. Does not seem unreasonable does it?
To be honest I am more than a little amused at the knickers in a twist response it has prompted from so many. :twisted:

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
After reading a few threads on here recently I have decided I am a time waster.
How I have decided this is by answering a few simple questions in my head.
1. I used to meet but don't anymore must = A time waster
2. I chat and have a laugh with people and because of number 1 above = A time waster
3. I don't arrange meets anymore = A time waster
4. I like chatting to people with like minds = wasting their time.
So adding it all up I must be a time waster and proud to be one.
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?
Do drop in and say hi

Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.
Hello Bayboy,
First of all I have never used facebook. I have always felt it is a bit like - you can be in my gang as I have allowed you entry, type of place. It's not for me thanks. I much prefer to be able to have a chat with all types of people roaming about who enjoy sharing my company and I theirs.
I am honest on my profile and also in the room I opened last night called "Timewasters we don't meet or shagg" funnily enough many people came in and complemented me on my honesty. I have never in my five years on this site every been in a situation of getting anyone annoyed with me and have said I am in the wrong being here because I don't meet.
Swinging for me is like others have said. It is a mindset not having sex with all and sundry that ask. If your description of a cliquey is of people that share liked minds or activity this could relate to many activities within life. Then the simple fact you have joined here must make you want to join in the cliquey.
At the end of the day we must all share a common theme or we wouldn't be paying to join a site like this, the fact we all do it differently should just be respected in my honest opinion.

20 Jun 2012

Okay folks, let's draw a line under it and get back to the original topic instead of this meaningless back and forth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IMHO, I'd probaly class us as "time wasters" to all the people who are here simply to meet for sex.
To us, swinging isn't just about the shag and move on thing. We don't actively seek to meet other people for sex, or should I say we don't go out of our way to do so. However, SH does still play a big part in our lives, and we consistently use it to meet up socially and virtually with other like minded people. Whether we end up having sex with them is neither here nor there. They know where we stand, and for the most part they're happy to accept that.

20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
my point was that if people are only here to socialise and not swing then they should not be overly surprised when others expect them to actually swing. Seeing as though this is a swingers site not a just social one.
Is that really overly unreasonable as so many seem to think it is?

The trouble is that you have decided to label people and then blame them for the label, without actually looking at the context of this thread in the first place.
The OP has started this thread in response to this:

Quote by Nsafun_one
If you're reading this post you're probably either a time waster or aspiring to become one. Welcome; you've come to the right post!
To ensure your time is best wasted I thought it best to post my '6 golden rules of timewasting', just to give you a flavour of what members expect/do not expect of you:
1. This is a swingers site; if you're not sure what it means it probably isn't for you.
2. Read the adverts; grnuine members pretty much respond to all emails but please afford the courtesy of checking what someone is looking for first.
3. Happy to chat before meeting, and sometimes chatting is all that will happen. But at least be seeking meets if you're going to contact someone.
4. If a meet is arranged genuine members show up as arranged. It's not unreasonable to expect the same of you.
5. Face photograph and contact number to be exchanged prior to meeting. And
6. If this sounds like too much effort, please see 1. above
How do I spot others of my own kind you may ask? Well I'm glad you did! The site has a feedback system called 'Shrep'. Have a look at the profiles, if it's activated it's at the top. See it? No...? There you go; a fellow timewaster! You deserve each other.
Helpful? I hope so. And it applies to everyone on here, not just me, so please bear in mind before wasting anyone's time other than your own....
x

Were you aware of this at all?
So if the OP and others choose to poke a little fun at themselves don't you think that it's impolite to start accusing and labeling them?
Your posts convey the feeling that you believe that people should remove themselves from this site if they are not looking to meet at the moment for any reason. Do you not think this might be a little extreme? If such nonsense was introduced then we would have to remove our profile on a Monday morning and rejoin later in the week, every week. Are people not allowed to have a break in your opinion? Should they always maintain a facade of being active? Or maybe they should place regular adverts? would that satisfy you?
Swinging is many things to many people, the fact that you haven't had much success doesn't mean that other people have to adjust their attitudes to swinging. If you do get to meet someone but choose never to speak to them again, then that's your choice. But surely you understand that other people choose to chat to people they have met before, and by definition got on with socially?
The fact that you seem to think that swingers should stay in contact via facebook beggars belief. Would you have swingers on the same site as your family? We certainly won't. This site is not a 'swinging site' it is a site for the swinging community. It might seem like simple word play but the community encompasses far more than just meeting up for sex.
We get regular enjoyment from the forum and chatroom. Its might be social, it might be virtual, but it suits us as a way of spending time with like minded people when meets are simply not possible.

20 Jun 2012

Bigger, now I'm a time waster wink

20 Jun 2012

Anyone fancy a shag? hump

Whoops I don't think I am suppose to advertise here!
bolt

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Theladyisaminx
Anyone fancy a shag?
Whoops I don't think I am suppose to advertise here!

I will, but only if I can take my time! :giggle:

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Cubes
Anyone fancy a shag?
Whoops I don't think I am suppose to advertise here!

I will, but only if I can take my time! :giggle:
WHAT!! AND WASTE MINE? smackbottom

20 Jun 2012

The average length of a penis is between 18 and 20 barley corns apparently smile

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Lost
The average length of a penis is between 18 and 20 barley corns apparently

What is the average length of a barley corn?

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Theladyisaminx
Anyone fancy a shag?
Whoops I don't think I am suppose to advertise here!

I will, but only if I can take my time! :giggle:
WHAT!! AND WASTE MINE? smackbottom

Okay, a quick knee trembler in the alley round the back of SH Towers it is then!
:hump:

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Trevaunance
The average length of a penis is between 18 and 20 barley corns apparently

What is the average length of a barley corn?
It's about one 20th the length of the average penis. ;)

20 Jun 2012

Quote by Lost
The average length of a penis is between 18 and 20 barley corns apparently

I would like to see proof on cam please. Got your barley corns ready?
BTW did you have a nice sleep last night?