Timewasters!

5 Apr 2004

I have been off work for the past three days, and was looking forward to some really good sessions. Instead I have had an endless succession of timewasters. If people say they are going to meet why not just do it? Why do they feel they have to waste my time?
I can accommodate, so I usually get a good response. I've had people talk to me on the phone, or e-chat, and insist that they are on their way over, and then they don't turn up!
I can usually spot the fantasists and no-hopers, but some have sounded really genuine. I've just returned to swinging after a couple of years off and it seems to be worse than ever.
Would it be possible to set up a blacklist of timewasters? In all the years I've been swinging (more than 10 now), I've never failed to turn up for a meeting. I've even travelled as far afield as Birmingham and Manchester to meet people, so why is it that people in the same town can't be bothered to show up?
I'm sorry about ranting on, but what have I got to show for my three day weekend? Nothing!, if anything I'm even more frustrated than I was before I started! mad

ps: I'm not usually this angry

5 Apr 2004

There will be no public list of 'timewasters' as often people have genuine reasons why they don't turn up, although some don't.
If you wish to let any of the Moderators know of those who you think are persistant offenders and the reasons why, we can keep an eye on them to see if other complaints come in. However, please understand, that we cannot take any action against them without knowing both sides of the story, especially if they are not members of the site but just guests.
Hope that helps
Mal
lol

5 Apr 2004

Know how you feel Gen I have suffered the same & virtually given up now. I think the majority on this site are wind up merchants & have no interest at all of meeting someone regardless what they say or promise.

5 Apr 2004

Gen, Mal,
I must have been fortunate. I have only every had one person let me down, and she had the courtesy of texting me to tell me (18 months) or maybe I dont get out as much?
Is it not all about being courteous and polite. If I am even running 10 mins late I will always text/ call. Maybe there are too few old fashioned 'Gentlemen/ Ladies' out there?
Ian

5 Apr 2004

I can honestly that ive never been let down by had a couple of cancellations due to various things but they notified me beforehand and it wasnt 10 mins before we were due to meet either.

5 Apr 2004

Gen,
You will get time wasters in all walks of life.
As Mal says, there may be a good reason for someone letting you down although it doesn't excuse the bad manners of not letting you know.
It would appear that there are lots of time wasters as there are pic collectors therefore it is something you have to accept, not nice but you will never stop it. Just grin and bear it as there are genuine people out there and they are worth the wait.

5 Apr 2004

Had to howl reading this!
We got an email from a couple in early December - seemed nice - linked to an ad - checked out the add and they seemed nice. Sent them a long email and 5 facial pics over and heard nothing for about 2 months.
Next thing we get an email from them saying - love your website want to know more! with a link to another site as there ad was no longer on here but when I went to the other site the ad was not there!
We sent back an email saying "we have been here before" but gave them the benefit of the doubt - wrote a nice long email about us and sent some more pics over and heard nothing.
Just this morning I ended up sending them this!

Hi,
Sent this on 8th March and still not heard. That is now the second time you have not responded to us after you contacted us........ Sorry to be blunt but beginning to think that you are actually just timewasters or not an actual couple!
Your words "We have been let down by a few couples and to be honest getting a bit fed up with time wasters and those silly pic collectors. We only ever ask for face or full length pictures not nude! if we meet we will see you then (hopefully)" seem to ring a little hollow! At least do us the honour of replying to our emails - even if it is a no thanks.
Be good - Be happy - Be horny - Be Safe!
Yabba Dabba Dooooo? We bloody well do!
Fred & Wilma
XXXXXXXXXXXX

http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/personal/flintstones/

It seems you will always get these people on all sides - and you never can quite tell - however we can quite honestly say that we have never let anyone down, failed to show unless we have told people well in advance (and I am only talking about the Midlands munch here!), and have always been "Ronseal" Swingers - we do exactly what it says on the tin! - OK, website, if you are going to pick holes!
Every time we get an email we write a good response to it and always send facial pics if they have sent us decent ones and 98% of the time that is the last we hear.
(wonder if there is a correlation between me sending out my facial pic and people stopping talking to us? ops: :oops: )
I have no idea what the answer is though!
Fred

5 Apr 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone
Every time we get an email we write a good response to it and always send facial pics if they have sent us decent ones and 98% of the time that is the last we hear.

That means you might get as many cold shoulders as Single Males :confused:
It must because swinging attracts many dreamers and fantasists and there is a lot of bottling out going on.
This would in a sense be forgivable if people were polite enough to respond to e-mails or call if they know they are going to fail to turn up to a meet.
Even being honest and admitting they don't feel right about it when the time approaches is surely preferable to being left cold with no explanation whatsoever from the correspondee.

5 Apr 2004

I have had to pull out one time redface

and I hated it I was wracked with guilt even though it was a real people who just wind others up and leave no trail are cruel you are playing with peoples expectations and hopes.
But it's just like regular dating from back in the day not all them turned up-in fact not many if you're me lol

5 Apr 2004

Totally agree,
We do understand people fancy the idea and when faced with a real choice run away.... but as you say the simple courtesy of "Sorry gone off the idea" would be helpful.
I have 3 seperate mailboxes under my inbox - Boiling - Simmering and Boiled over! The count just now revealed 3 in boiling 12 in simmering (although 3 of those are now over a month since we replied to them!) and boiled over has 189 items of email in!
Fuck! - I'm more ugly than I thought!
We probably do get the run around as much as single guys to be honest. but we always say in emails to people when they contact us for the first time and tell us they are new to the scene that we will be straight with them and tell them if we have doubts in any way. I have just dug out one of these emails we sent to a couple recently:

First of all welcome to the swinging community! We hope you get the fun out of it we have and enjoy yourselves as much as we do! It has definitely added a new dimension to our lives and keeps us fit. The first thing you realise when you do this is that you become hornier with one another and you have not done anything yet!
We have been swinging for about 12 months now - and in that time had some fun, some disasters and some downright hilarious episodes! However what we would say to anyone new is do not rush it. There is a huge number of first time couples that have had a disasterous first meet because they got it wrong by rushing it. Secondly sort out a system that works for you. We have one. It might not suit but at least it gives you an idea.
First of all we like to swap facial pics - decent ones - preferably one of both people together as well! That way we can see who it is we are talking to. I am afraid there are no excuses on that one at all. We have all heard that people have sensitive jobs etc but we are in the same boat - which we always explain when we meet couples.
If everyone still likes what they see - and lets be honest, we don't always - then we like to have a chat in the chatroom or on msn. If we cannot have fun chatting or make conversation in a private chat or on the phone then there is going to be one hell of an uncomfortable silence when there is a pile of clothes in the middle of the room and post coital depression sets in! We love a laugh - anything else is a bonus.
Then we like to swap mobile numbers and the girlies can have a chat - that weeds out most of the wasters - and if they get on we like to arrange to meet one night for a drink only. We meet, chat, have a laugh and then go our separate ways. Afterwards we discuss with our partners if we want to swing with the other couple and then get in touch and be honest with one another. That way there is no embarrassment or pressure on anyone throughout the process. Nobody has any delusions and nobody gets hurt (although Fred does get a bit sensitive to rejection - hahaha!)
This may be too longwinded for you guys but we feel it works for us and shows us who the genuine ones are and we have less dissappointments now because of it.
If there is anything else you would like help with then please get back in touch. If you would like to see our pics - other than the ones on the webpage then please let us know.
And if you do go to the webpage (link at the bottom) where there is a lot more information - please remember to turm the speakers down a little - We have put some music on it and the kids end up dancing around if they hear it and asking you what you are doing!
In the meantime, have a good time, have a laugh, relax - your mother is not going to ring and say what are you doing on this website! (We spoke to her on the phone last night when we were arranging to meet her and she said she will not give you a hard time!) Oh come on - I didnt mean it - Hello... Hello..... Where did they go? Hahahaha.

Wonder if it's the mother gag that scares the fuck out of them!

:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
Fred

5 Apr 2004

You clearly put a lot of care and effort into preparing the ground to make an encounter work well for everyone-
- but that has its rewards

:shock: :shock: biggrin

:lol: :lol: :lol:

5 Apr 2004

Blimey!
How the hell did you get the pics of the last meet we had - I reckon someone at Boots is taking extra copies of the pictures!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
You not far wrong though Man Alive! - (Sorry can't say that without having a stupid smug grin of satisfaction plastered all over my bloody face! redface

ops: :oops: )
Fred