Timewasters/let downs: how many chances do you give them?

9 Dec 2005

Quote by MidlandsLady
if someone just don't turn up they never get another chance with me
if they let me know b4 hand i will give a second chance but if the cancel twice they don't get another unless its someone i know

I think this sounds fair enough but it is hard when you have just been let down even when they let you know because you get all paranoid and wonder if it is personal :cry: or maybe thats just me!
no i sometimes feel like that too

9 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
just having a hissy fit cos I didn't get to shag two horny guys today

you was meeting two guys and they both let you down? :shock:
Well, er actually yes redface

. to explain, they are best mates and come as a package biggrin

They are both genuinely nice guys, but they are also very busy men and can't always make when they say they can. I just felt this was sort of last star but I know that some people may not have even given them 2nd chance (this was their third, though they always had good reasons). The annoying thing is that I wouldnt mind if ONE of them couldn't come (I'm not THAT bad :P ) but when one can't come the other doesn't either......maybe I should stick to singular single guys wink

leave the multiples alone?

9 Dec 2005

Quote by rebecca_uk_tv
I think we've all been there with timewasters. I've driven 40 miles to meet up with someone only to find a note pinned to the door saying, sorry somethings come up can't answer the door : :uhoh:
Also was booked into a hotel once, phoned the guy I had arranged to meet on his mobile (expecting him to be near by or in the car park) to let him know I was ready and the room number, only to be told â€œOHH, yeah sorry mate clean forgot got play on the play station and lost track of time, I need to grab sommot to eat have a shower and drive there it will take me 2 hoursâ€ I put the phone down, FFS "got playing video games and forgot" PI55 OFF he knew the hotel but not room or my really name. Donâ€™t know if he bothered turning up but I never meet him, thankfully the room was a special offer and only cost Â£20. And I know how to have a goodtime on my own. :wanker: :twisted:

They can go back to advertising amongst the 3zillion single men on here and I will go back to advertising amongst the 150 single women.

Yes, i shouldn't worry to much as the odds are stacked in your favour Bex.
I should say the two events above didn't involve anyone from SH.
Hi Rebecca, nice to see you smile

Gah not a good story, Though I recently met someone who was an hour late (you know who you are wink

) who said he overslept! Overslept when he was meeting me! hahaha! lol

ah well, all I can say is that he needed the energy :P
And I should also say that the other guys I mentioned were not from Swingingheaven forums either.

9 Dec 2005

Quote by berksbex
just having a hissy fit cos I didn't get to shag two horny guys today

you was meeting two guys and they both let you down? :shock:
Well, er actually yes redface

. to explain, they are best mates and come as a package biggrin

They are both genuinely nice guys, but they are also very busy men and can't always make when they say they can. I just felt this was sort of last star but I know that some people may not have even given them 2nd chance (this was their third, though they always had good reasons). The annoying thing is that I wouldnt mind if ONE of them couldn't come (I'm not THAT bad :P ) but when one can't come the other doesn't either......maybe I should stick to singular single guys wink

leave the multiples alone?
if they have let you down 3 times now i'm afraid i'd bin them, even if there reasons are genuine whats the point in arranging 2 meet people who can never make it?
saying that they sound a great package :wink:
pity they can't stick to arrangments

9 Dec 2005

Quote by 34fun
It happens to us all tho, i myself have had to let people down but i always make sure they know b4 hand and never stand people up, as much as i love meeting people i have kids and they come first, so if one of my kids gets ill sorry but the meets off, saying that i do not consider myself a time waster
its just one of them things in swinging so long as people let you know b4 hand i think its ok to call a meet off if you have good reason

Yeah I do understand, and sometimes you just can't make it whatever the circumstances. I just wanted a little more notice really.....and I'm just sulking :P just having a hissy fit cos I didn't get to shag two horny guys today rolleyes

:roll: :roll: I'll get over it, i always do :wink:
you should have said earlier - i'm sure some of the genuine users on here would not have let you down :P :P
LOL :wink:
These guys are genuinely nice and i have met them several times before, they just have jobs that mean they can't always do what they want to do. But maybe not a good idea to rely on them.
Ah well, anyway I'm over my hissy fit, I was just horny and not getting what I wanted basically. :twisted:

9 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
just having a hissy fit cos I didn't get to shag two horny guys today

you was meeting two guys and they both let you down? :shock:
Well, er actually yes redface

. to explain, they are best mates and come as a package biggrin

They are both genuinely nice guys, but they are also very busy men and can't always make when they say they can. I just felt this was sort of last star but I know that some people may not have even given them 2nd chance (this was their third, though they always had good reasons). The annoying thing is that I wouldnt mind if ONE of them couldn't come (I'm not THAT bad :P ) but when one can't come the other doesn't either......maybe I should stick to singular single guys wink

leave the multiples alone?
if they have let you down 3 times now i'm afraid i'd bin them, even if there reasons are genuine whats the point in arranging 2 meet people who can never make it?
saying that they sound a great package :wink:
pity they can't stick to arrangments
They live nearer to you than me, maybe I should send them round? :twisted:
And I love your new avatar! :D

9 Dec 2005

Quote by berksbex
They live nearer to you than me, maybe I should send them round? :twisted:
And I love your new avatar!

really!! where they from?
and ta...i can do that you know...no really i can, mind you saying that my bum bounces anyway

9 Dec 2005

sorry to here to having probs bex hun i would love to be your loveslave but you not dom i guess shame never mind if you fancy another sub let me know lol takecare merry xmas

9 Dec 2005

Quote by rob_oxford
sorry to here to having probs bex hun i would love to be your loveslave but you not dom i guess shame never mind if you fancy another sub let me know lol takecare merry xmas

do you doing ironing and wash pots?

9 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1

They live nearer to you than me, maybe I should send them round? :twisted:
And I love your new avatar!

really!! where they from?
and ta...i can do that you know...no really i can, mind you saying that my bum bounces anyway
What poke yer arse out and fart.............. thats what it looks like yer doing NN innocent

:grin:

9 Dec 2005

I think there's different kinds of let downs. I have had someone turn up once who looked nothing like their photo. But there's also misfires.
Just socially, my mates seem to be in various 'categories' so I can relate to them appropriately.
- There's folks who arrange something even months in advance and you don't even need to check the day before - they'll be there.
- Most peeps I would exchange a courtesy call the day before to see if we are still on.
- Then there's peeps who I know are genuine but will cancel if known quantities intervene - that's fine as long as they realise I am free to cancel with the same frequency.
- Then there's peeps that are totally unreliable, however lovely they are: with them, if they are good friends, I take any arrangement as a 'possibility' if we are both not doing anything else at the time - I check an hour or so beforehand to see if we're both still free.
I feel quite happy with any of these arrangements - main thing is they have to be equal both ways - we both have the same margin. Given the choice, I like a diary appt that is firm, and a wee call the day before in case one of us lost our dairy or something cataclysmic, but peeps are different.
On the swinging scene, the other additional factor does seem to me to be peeps experience.
People who have been swinging for a while (swinging, not just going on the site) seem to know the score and misunderstandings are less likely. Anyone diagree? The thing is, newbies are prone to last minute heebiejeebies even if everything else is ok and exactly as planned upfront. Some people take longer than they imagine they will to get into a scene they are curious about, which can be frustrating.
Maybe the thing is to be aware of all the eventualities and (without getting cynical) always have a back-up plan to treat yourself if you get let down.
Having said that, all of us can get let down occasionally, and big hugs to you, Bex, Hon', :therethere: - and don't let it spoil your faith in human nature, or your friendships with these people. Redefine the rules if necessary, or cut your losses, but tomorrow is another day . . .
:rose:

9 Dec 2005

Quote by Him'nHer

They live nearer to you than me, maybe I should send them round? :twisted:
And I love your new avatar!

really!! where they from?
and ta...i can do that you know...no really i can, mind you saying that my bum bounces anyway
What poke yer arse out and fart.............. thats what it looks like yer doing NN innocent

:grin:
cheeky

9 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
if someone just don't turn up they never get another chance with me

Bravo.
If a man is too stupid to realise how good something is potentially going to be , he should be written off immediately.
This is what bugs me about Ginger Jo's shindigs, I only work about 10 mins away from the potential venue, but have always got meetings booked or out of the Country, so have not been in a position to seek (beg, plead ) for an invite. However the day or so after she says a couple os SM's didnt show and I am like whats wrong with these people.
Quite an emotive subject as you may be able to sense by my tone.

10 Dec 2005

yes i do im house trained wink

10 Dec 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
if someone just don't turn up they never get another chance with me
if they let me know b4 hand i will give a second chance but if the cancel twice they don't get another unless its someone i know

Sounds perfect ballenced approach to me smile

Exactly what I do....great minds and all that lol

Once waited two hours for someone who said his car had broken down, nearly gave up and went home but he turned up and was bloody fantastic so sometimes it pays to have patience wink

11 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
if someone just don't turn up they never get another chance with me
if they let me know b4 hand i will give a second chance but if the cancel twice they don't get another unless its someone i know

I think this sounds fair enough but it is hard when you have just been let down even when they let you know because you get all paranoid and wonder if it is personal :cry: or maybe thats just me!
no i sometimes feel like that too
Thought I would share this with you guys....when I wrote my original post on Friday I had just been cancelled on sad

but at least they had let me know.......but I had a 6th sense about it and thought perhaps I was being paranoid!! No it seems my 6th sense is working just fine and I was not given the real reason for cancelling. Although to make matters worse the real reason would have been good enough in the first place.
Don't I feel like some kind of fool redface

11 Dec 2005

Quote by mw123
if someone just don't turn up they never get another chance with me

Bravo.
If a man is too stupid to realise how good something is potentially going to be , he should be written off immediately.
This is what bugs me about Ginger Jo's shindigs, I only work about 10 mins away from the potential venue, but have always got meetings booked or out of the Country, so have not been in a position to seek (beg, plead ) for an invite. However the day or so after she says a couple os SM's didnt show and I am like whats wrong with these people.
Quite an emotive subject as you may be able to sense by my tone.
I personaly feel that a lot of people on here just get off on the though of it and going thro the planning, but many guys on here are married and maybe not in the possition to really make these meets they 'dream' about, some people are just total twats and arange to meet with no intentions of going at all, i think some just bottle out but havn't got the nerve to call and say they can't make it so think hiding is a better option, i think there are all kind of reasons but the bottom line is genuine people always let other know if they can't make it, it happens to us all i have had to cancelle meets b4 due to kids etc, if your meeting someone the chances are you will have a mobile number so there no excuse, a text costs 10p if that now days

11 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
if someone just don't turn up they never get another chance with me

Bravo.
If a man is too stupid to realise how good something is potentially going to be , he should be written off immediately.
This is what bugs me about Ginger Jo's shindigs, I only work about 10 mins away from the potential venue, but have always got meetings booked or out of the Country, so have not been in a position to seek (beg, plead ) for an invite. However the day or so after she says a couple os SM's didnt show and I am like whats wrong with these people.
Quite an emotive subject as you may be able to sense by my tone.
I personaly feel that a lot of people on here just get off on the though of it and going thro the planning, but many guys on here are married and maybe not in the possition to really make these meets they 'dream' about, some people are just total twats and arange to meet with no intentions of going at all, i think some just bottle out but havn't got the nerve to call and say they can't make it so think hiding is a better option, i think there are all kind of reasons but the bottom line is genuine people always let other know if they can't make it, it happens to us all i have had to cancelle meets b4 due to kids etc, if your meeting someone the chances are you will have a mobile number so there no excuse, a text costs 10p if that now days
I agree totally with you, luckily I have never been left waiting in a pub/hotel lobby etc, but have had lots of last minute cancellations (bottling out I'm sure). I just want honesty though and wish people would only go through all the hassle of arranging meets etc if they actually intend to turn up. As said above there seem to be plenty of people (men and women) who get the thrill out of talking and arranging but have no intention of going any futher....very infuriating for those (like myself) who actually do intend to turn up evil

11 Dec 2005

ok! here go's
im a single male now but 3month ago i was with a girl who i met on a swinger's site!
i met her cos i wanted 2 keep swingin! but! she terrend out 2 b a gold diger!
an 4 a year she got off on the thought of doin it but didnt want 2 share anymore!(i belived her an was up 4 fun)
anyway my point is if they dont show the first time (with out a god exquce) ignor them girl's!
my opinion 4 what it's worth

11 Dec 2005

So do I get twat of the year award for arranging to meet the same woman three times (she wasn't) and she never turned up on any occasion confused

: :cry:
Regards
Harry Jones

11 Dec 2005

I give everybody 2 chances
After that its best of luck to them
Life is to short but you have to give them benifit of the doubt the first time
Bi-Guy-Notts

11 Dec 2005

hi guys new to this
We have an ad on sh and have had sooo many replies from ppl who just havent read the ad properly or who think they will be the exception to our rule! They just get deleted!
confused

11 Dec 2005

Quote by sercher01

an 4 a year she got off on the thought of doin it but didnt want 2 share anymore!(i belived her an was up 4 fun)

Actually that's another point. I have had same problem, one guy I met through ads here on (emphasis on a swingers site) was a great shag and we got on well and started seeing each other a bit. The trouble was that he started to get funny about me seeing anyone else, said it made me look like a tart etc :P :roll: . WTF is all that about? I mean this is a swingers site, he if has such anti-swinging views he should look for women elsewhere. I don't stop shagging who I want when i want for anyone :twisted:
EDIT: "I shag who I want when I want" erm that's when they bloody turn up! :roll:

12 Dec 2005

Quote by berksbex

an 4 a year she got off on the thought of doin it but didnt want 2 share anymore!(i belived her an was up 4 fun)

Actually that's another point. I have had same problem, one guy I met through ads here on (emphasis on a swingers site) was a great shag and we got on well and started seeing each other a bit. The trouble was that he started to get funny about me seeing anyone else, said it made me look like a tart etc :P :roll: . WTF is all that about? I mean this is a swingers site, he if has such anti-swinging views he should look for women elsewhere. I don't stop shagging who I want when i want for anyone :twisted:
EDIT: "I shag who I want when I want" erm that's when they bloody turn up! :roll:
I had exactly the same thing happen to me, met a bloke (actually on a different site but same emphasis) saw him a couple of times and he then decided he wanted to be 'exclusive', now to be that's not what this is all about so I said 'No', but then had to put up with all sorts of insults in the manner of the ones above..to be honest, though this might seem shocking to some, it's one reason not to see 'young,single' blokes....this is a sweeping generalisation but I have found that lots do really want a relationship but don't know how to do it so they come to places like this and then you can't get rid of them :roll:

12 Dec 2005

That's a bit too harsh, some people may have genuine reasons for not turning up and I always believe it best to give someone the benefit of the doubt...do it twice and they are for the boot, of course wink

12 Dec 2005

Quote by amalthea
it's one reason not to see 'young,single' blokes....this is a sweeping generalisation but I have found that lots do really want a relationship but don't know how to do it so they come to places like this and then you can't get rid of them

Don't worry amalthea, I am definately not seeking a relationship. Roll on November when I get to drive past Bristol again.
Regards
Harry Jones

13 Dec 2005

Quote by HarryJones
So do I get twat of the year award for arranging to meet the same woman three times (she wasn't) and she never turned up on any occasion : :cry:
Regards
Harry Jones

Oh dear guess who I have just been lusting after and chatting to on cam :?:
She typed "hey harry xxxxxxxxxxx" was looking absolutely stunning on cam (especially when she whacked her pussy out) and when I asked why she had blocked me a few months back replied because I am a bitch.
I have now fallen for her again. Someone save me from myself FFS.
Regards
Harry Jones

13 Dec 2005

Quote by HarryJones
[when I asked why she had blocked me a few months back replied because I am a bitch.
I have now fallen for her again. Someone save me from myself FFS.
Regards
Harry Jones

Harry nooooooooo!!!!!!! Don't do it to yourself!! Falling for t'internet women is a dangerous game, especially self-confessed bitches. Don't allow this to happen please Harry, you're worth more than that and you know it kiss

13 Dec 2005

Quote by HarryJones
it's one reason not to see 'young,single' blokes....this is a sweeping generalisation but I have found that lots do really want a relationship but don't know how to do it so they come to places like this and then you can't get rid of them

Don't worry amalthea, I am definately not seeking a relationship. Roll on November when I get to drive past Bristol again.
Regards
Harry Jones
November...I don't know you aren't trying very hard are you.....might think you don't actually want to meet me? :shock:

13 Dec 2005

Quote by Angel Chat

Thanks Angel xxx
Quote by amalthea
November...I don't know you aren't trying very hard are you.....might think you don't actually want to meet me?

Of course I want to meet you, its just that Bristol is a bloody long way away from here and at the moment I am concerned about actually affording to put tax on the car let alone having petrol to drive across the country. Be assured that when I do drive to my holiday next november, you will be top of my list.
Regards
Harry Jones