I poked my nose in. I wouldn't cross the two again. I'm glad I had the experience but it's not something I'd get into again, especially not here.
I don't think that bdsm and swinging go together in any serious form at all , nsa sex is what the label says and great that it is , in no way would I associate it with any serious aspect of bdsm , which to me is much deeper on just about every level. I wont go anyfuther on the subject in here as i could probably fill a few pages with waffle about it.
Sassy-Seren, trust, boundaries and safe words are a must, but some times not knowing where the key's are add that bit of fear just enough to keep you on edge, :twisted:
I looked for approx two years for a Dom. I never met anyone as I knew what I was looking for and my professional life involves being skilled at assessing whether someone is ummmm well knowing if someone is functioning appropriately in certain environments. It was clear when talking to them that they were not really Dom in the way I wanted and needed. Each had 'unresolved issues' Either misogynistic, bullying or basically violent. There were also 'chameleons' who would be whatever I ( or anyone else) needed to get a shag and I am sure would have been scared by how much pain I would expect them to inflict on me.
There were also people who just weren't going to arouse me as they weren't sadistic they were just 'playing'. I certainly want a Dom to be aroused by the application of pain or else they won't push the boundaries as they will be waiting for my lead. A good sub (imo) is aroused by pain but more importantly by giving pleasure and needs a Dom to be aroused by what they are inflicting or else it deteriorates to just rough sex.
I think that bdsm and swinging have overlaps but only in the same way that anal is something that some swingers do. I think that swingers can do bdsm but either one is very specific and requires fundemental personality traits from the individuals involved. For example when 'interviewing' potential single shags I always ask if they would swing if they had a partner. If they say 'ewwwww no' then I know they will probably judge me for swinging and the married friends I have who are swingers. One thing I have to have is respect.
Bdsm requires a lot of trust and communication and if you are meeting alone then you have to be able know what you need and want and trust that you will be listened to as a sub. As a Dom you need to listen and communicate and genuinely care that your sub is happy and able to discuss their needs and be acutely aware of breathing patterns, body language etc as you can be taking someone beyond their limits and be oblivious to that if you remain selfish and inconsiderate.
So, in short. Yes there is a crossover but only if the people concerned want there to be.
One thing I have found is that most that are into BDSM as, as already been said, often only play with each other or as a very small group of regular's, not all but most of the swinger's that have wanted to use the dungeon, have wanted to use it for gangbang's, in which the woman would be restrained, so really a mild form of bondage, which Im sure could be fun, but a long way away from those how want it for BDSM play.
I'm enjoying reading this thread. :thumbup: Thank you to the people who know stuff about stuff for contributing!
Well said splendid its much much more than sex, whichever side of bdsm you sit upon.
Like other's have said it is hard to find a Dom male of quality and with a knowlage of either bondage or D/s, we have spent many years looking for that one guy that can really deliver what other's profess to be able to, we have tried other swinging sites and BDSM site's, and met a number of male's who all talked the talk, but were so easyly found out, none ever got as far as the bedroom,one guy that did look promising when met, must have read his idiot's guide to BDSM before meeting us at the hotel, we spent most of the day getting to London to find once there, some one that went through the hand book, step 1 to step 2 and so on, afterward's we laughed and it was funny, but at the time I remember thinking, what are we doing here, and in the vain hope that thing would get better waited while he went through his whole list of thing's to do, form spanking to wax play, and to top it all the sex wasn't to great the saying goes, one day my prince will come,untill then, well we wait and see, we know there are capable Dom male's out there, with the ability, that are competent at what they do, just they get snaped up so quickly, so to those lucky enough to have found what your looking for, good on you,and be proud of what you have, because if we could find him we would be singing his praises from the roof top's.
Shut up, and do as you're told!
there you are, how's that?
lp
I'll do what I like, when I want... not when you say so!
nah!
lp
unless u want too......................sooo predictable
I really liked this thread and decided it deserved a dust down.
In our relationship we are very into BDSM and constantly enjoy exploring new limits etc. However, I wasn't sure whether to include it on our profile on here for a couple of reasons. Firstly I need to completely trust someone with my life (literally) which I can't imagine ever having with a swinging partner. On the flip side of this, light bondage included in swinging would please me no end. There was also the issue for me of not wanting to put people off who weren't into that side of things at all. I have met a few people who think that because I like pain (both giving and receiving) this must be the only way I can get off, which obviously isn't the case.
As it happens I've decided to be open without being too OTT and if people don't like it, they know what to do...
Aye payne thats very much the approach we take too.
For me I'm interested in exploring all sorts so would consider dabbling more seriously in BDSM than I have though I'm not into pain as such more the mind games. Trust is the key to it though much more than with swinging. You have to know your partner much better in order to get the best ( or even anything ) out of it. I've a growing range of toys to play with in such a situation to enhance the moment.
The link such as there is, is more to do with the open mindedness of the people that frequent this site than anything else.
and once especially the ladies are in something like the St Andrew's cross all is lost, also is it some thing you have fantasies about but have never taken that final step over into the darkside :twisted: 
LG. x
Oh Sarah, you're wicked! 
) and have boundaries/safe words etc discussed beforehand. 
