Today's debate...

8 Jul 2010

There's been a bit of chatter about the sex education program that's been on this week in my office this morning. I've not seen it but the general topic this morning was older people who are still sexually active.
The girls in my room at work were fairly sure that if they never had sex again then that would be fine and dandy. confused

Now whilst I realise that sex isn't everything in a relationship it's fairly important to me. We're all round about the same age (late 30's/early 40's) but I certainly wouldn't rather have cream cakes than sex as one of them declared, holding up a packet of Cadburys mini rolls and exclaiming that they're more exciting!! lol

One of the girls says that it's worse when they've been on a night out and her hubby's all frisky... she sends him up to bed and tells him she'll be up in a minute then loiters downstairs in the hope that he's asleep by the time she gets there!!! :lol:
Funnily enough the ones who wouldn't care are married... the ones who would care are single! I'm curious as to whether there's something in that or not!
I'm not sure if I have rose tinted specs when it comes to that kinda thing, mainly because I've never lived with anyone so haven't got into that routine of every day life with a partner. I still think a blow job every morning would be a necessity in my world should I have someone in bed to blow every day!! :rascal:
It's probably a stupid question on a swinging site considering sex is the reason most of us are here but is that fairly normal? Does it all get a bit mundane when it's just the two of you? Do you swing to put a bit of spice back in? Am all curious now!
Are you fairly certain that you'll still be sexually active when you're in your 60s/70s/80s?
(Obviously I appreciate that we have people of all ages here... RWL for example... keeping his flag flying for the pensioners!) bolt

8 Jul 2010

Well, as they say, "may you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live!"

8 Jul 2010

There are so many reasons why women go off sex, particularly within a permanent relationship.
Boredom - with the same partner and the same sexual routine; or just ennui generally with the rut a lot of us get into without realising.
Stress - personal stress, work stress, everyday life stress, kid stress, financial stress et al.
Post Natal Depression - many women don't realise that they are experiencing various forms of PND until they come out of it. It's not always the obvious signs such as mood swings and crying; it can be much more effects of pregnancy, birth and the post natal adjustment period can really take their toll on a woman's self-esteem, her self-image and even the energy she used to put into her relationship. A lot of men don't and can't understand this, and to be honest, why should they when it is not something they can possibly experience for themselves?
Confession time: I've just come out of this myself and it's been a long process, but I am currently enjoying a resurgence of libido to mine - and Will's! - relief. There are no quick fix answers and every person is different. I just hope the current situation continues and I never return to the Slough of Despond again. Having got all that off my chest, I have to say a pack of Cadbury's mini rolls does have its attractions...!
Sappho redface

8 Jul 2010

Thank you for sharing about the effects of depression.
I've met quite a few women when I have been single who have declared that a cup of tea is preferable to sex. I have been intimate with a few subsequently (blame my not being able to resist a challenge). All were less inventive and knowledgeable than one might have anticipated. For example its hard when you are a member of this community to imagine people who simply do not partake in oral sex but there are plenty out there. I think a lot of folk go through life having incredibly dull sex. If your sex life consists of a fumble and as soon as you are wet a quick stick it in and wiggle it about I think its pretty easy to get very bored very quickly. I mentioned this to a lesbian friend once and she pointed out that was why she liked to seduce middle aged "straight" women because she knew a lot of them would be blown away by decent sex.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Sappho
There are so many reasons why women go off sex, particularly within a permanent relationship.
Boredom - with the same partner and the same sexual routine; or just ennui generally with the rut a lot of us get into without realising. This is so true!
Stress - personal stress, work stress, everyday life stress, kid stress, financial stress et al. And that goes for men as well as women.
Post Natal Depression - many women don't realise that they are experiencing various forms of PND until they come out of it. It's not always the obvious signs such as mood swings and crying; it can be much more effects of pregnancy, birth and the post natal adjustment period can really take their toll on a woman's self-esteem, her self-image and even the energy she used to put into her relationship. A lot of men don't and can't understand this, and to be honest, why should they when it is not something they can possibly experience for themselves?
Confession time: I've just come out of this myself and it's been a long process, but I am currently enjoying a resurgence of libido to mine - and Will's! - relief. There are no quick fix answers and every person is different. I just hope the current situation continues and I never return to the Slough of Despond again. Having got all that off my chest, I have to say a pack of Cadbury's mini rolls does have its attractions...!
Sappho x

I always said I wouldn't be one of those women that goes off sex when babies were born, but looking back now, our sex life in those days was boring and samey and somewhat sporadic. Nowadays we have hit our 'second wind' and are having much more fun experimenting both as a couple and with other people. Right now I cannot imagine going back to the dark days of sex barely once or twice a month, let alone giving it up altogether.
Like all long-married couples, I'm sure, we have the odd week where we don't have any sexual contact, but we always have cuddles at bedtime, other times we're at it like rabbits (kids and other commitments permitting surprised

ops

. I, too, have been treated for depression, and you really do only realise how out of proportion things got after the recovery period, including your attitude to sex.
Regarding alternatives though, may I take your pack of mini-rolls and raise you a box of Jaffa Cakes?

8 Jul 2010

i'm 54 and still do okay. i have an older buddy and a younger one, both orientals. the older one i can see several months apart, but the younger one is usually quicker to come back, and she creates a bit until i do. but really they're both okay.
what i think works is having the lust and libido to remain interested in sex. without those you don't have the will to find it fun anymore. and i think this is what goes missing when people no longer do it.
but you also need compatible partners. so with my two its down to me entirely with one, but willingness to respond with the other. if i couldn't respond that relationship would be effectively over.
i'm keen to keep having sex and the opportunities for us older ones gets better each year. the number of crinklies out there looking and getting is more than you think. and i notice some real stunners of my age. really classy ladies with fine figures, built for it! with those older girls, you can have a real splendid time. but they have wants and needs and standards etc.
so anyway you youngsters will get old one day and this site will still be in business, so maybe there will be a SH OAP section?

8 Jul 2010

Rather have a cream cake than sex - Nah sod that!
Sex is part of our relationship, It may not happen as often as I/we would like, but it still happens

8 Jul 2010

I'd rather combine cream cakes WITH sex lol

I'm still young... honestly.... but I can't ever imagine losing my sex drive unless I no longer found my partner attractive. I get really irritable if I have to go more than a couple of days without it, and to be honest, never want that to change.

8 Jul 2010

I think most people go through a dry spell but I think you owe it to yourselves to enjoy life and what it brings. Make the effort and be rewarded I love a bit of adventure :-) I can't imagine life without sex or at least I don't want to lol.
Can I be the first to volunteer for DG's morning regime ?
:-D
Rob

9 Jul 2010

It's all down to 'Mojo' - sometimes he wants to come out and play, sometimes he's too busy scoffing a cream cake.... lol

9 Jul 2010

I dunno why you associate my sentiments with help groups. Probably a function of your environment and upbringing, you would know best. When people share their experiences I am truly grateful. It feels like a gift to me. So I tend to say thank you, particularly when I get the impression that such experiences are not the sort of thing that most folk would proclaim from the hill tops.

9 Jul 2010

Nar its just good manners. If u wanna continue this debate perhaps a PM would be appropriate or a new thread entitled "Good Manners on Forums". I hate hijacking threads when summat interesting pops up.

9 Jul 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
Are you fairly certain that you'll still be sexually active when you're in your 60s/70s/80s?
(Obviously I appreciate that we have people of all ages here... RWL for example... keeping his flag flying for the pensioners!)

It all depends on the state of an older person's health. From a man's point of view you need to keep your blood pressure down.
Plim

9 Jul 2010

Quote by brucie
Nar its just good manners. If u wanna continue this debate perhaps a PM would be appropriate or a new thread entitled "Good Manners on Forums". I hate hijacking threads when summat interesting pops up.

nah its ok. as my dear old deceased mum used to say, manners are just hypocracies.
Forgive me, brucie, but you really are a tit of the first water.
Sappho x

9 Jul 2010

Sappho... I'd also like to thank you for your honesty! Twice! kiss

:kiss: