Tossers!

27 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Libra Love, I think we should join forces and found the Tarts Ignoring Tossers Society (TITS for short)
As founders we will have a duty to tell the world about our TITS. Get people to appreciate what our TITS stand for. Promote our TITS and ensure our TITS welcome all who need us.
What do you say?

Great Idea! .....I think confused

Sadly I'm kinda lacking in the TITs department myself. evil

Mine are only nipples next to yours sad

Could we perhaps consider another name?

27 Feb 2005

Quote by Libra-Love
Libra Love, I think we should join forces and found the Tarts Ignoring Tossers Society (TITS for short)
As founders we will have a duty to tell the world about our TITS. Get people to appreciate what our TITS stand for. Promote our TITS and ensure our TITS welcome all who need us.
What do you say?

Great Idea! .....I think confused

Sadly I'm kinda lacking in the TITs department myself. evil

Mine are only nipples next to yours sad

Could we perhaps consider another name?
It is not the size of our TITS that is important, It is what our TITS can do for those lost souls out there.

27 Feb 2005

How about the Mutually United Female Federation?

27 Feb 2005

How abouth this
S.N.A.T.C.H
So Not Able To Control Hormones
lol
no offence intended if anybody takes any smile

27 Feb 2005

I am a member of Blokes Appreciating Lovely Ladies Society. There are lots of members almost too many...and with B.A.L.L.S so full, I think we can cover the whole country. It would be a shame to waste an opportunity for M.U.F.F and B.A.L.L.S to come together to create XXXXXX .....Bugger...couldnt think of another one.....
rolleyes

27 Feb 2005

OMG.
It's not even my birthday and I've come home to a thread about tossers.
:evil2:
May I offer my services as TITS Touter for the MUFFettes of Swinging Heaven, whereupon I will humiliate any tosser who crawls into the tight confines our feathery mounds, the punishment decided between our TITS in the MUFF HQ with the aid of a BDSM catalogue, Vets Monthly and an assortment of screws, plugs and electrical cable.
Tosser stories for Chief TIT will follow shortly, once i have had my fill of sausage and drunk a few glasses of wine. I wouldn't want sobriety to mar my memories and make any tosser stories in any way logical or complimentary.
wink

27 Feb 2005

Quote by SunBunny
OMG.
It's not even my birthday and I've come home to a thread about tossers.
:evil2:
May I offer my services as TITS Touter for the MUFFettes of Swinging Heaven, whereupon I will humiliate any tosser who crawls into the tight confines our feathery mounds, the punishment decided between our TITS in the MUFF HQ with the aid of a BDSM catalogue, Vets Monthly and an assortment of screws, plugs and electrical cable.
Tosser stories for Chief TIT will follow shortly, once i have had my fill of sausage and drunk a few glasses of wine. I wouldn't want sobriety to mar my memories and make any tosser stories in any way logical or complimentary.

I wondered how long before you showed up :wink:

27 Feb 2005

Quote by PoloLady
I wondered how long before you showed up

:notes: :notes: :notes:
Shhhhh. I'm busy.

27 Feb 2005

Quote by SunBunny

I wondered how long before you showed up

:notes: :notes: :notes:
Shhhhh. I'm busy.
This could take a while - I'll check back in a couple of hours lol

27 Feb 2005

hmmm tossers cant live with em cant kill banghead

27 Feb 2005

Three blind mice... three blind mice... lol

27 Feb 2005

Tossers on Swinging Heaven - An Essay
There are many kinds of tossers on this site and these all add up to one big tosspot of most tossiest. However it is important to stress to non-tossers the importance of tongues in cheeks and clean consciences.
If you are a tosser and know you are worthy of the TIT Touter's public humiliation, resume the hand to cock coordination you are so good at and try to get your head round the fact that wanking is a private thing and public tossery is punishable by SunBunny et al.
In my delicious time on Swinging Heaven I have encountered:
The neanderthal type which chooses to send me inane, ungrammatical PMs and then when they dont recieve a reply from me, send me more, equally banal and uninteresting and by no means seductive, inviting or amusing (except for the sheer audacity and pathetic content).
PMers again, in category two, who send me one-liners, thinking I will be highly turned on by such a brief amount of uncreative chat-up and arrange to meet said category like yesterday, fanny akimbo. (having sent half a dozen pics of my nude figure so he can wank himself silly before the event)
Tossers I have got so far as to meet...well.....quite a few but not as many as post in Lets Meet Up.
.....There's the guy who took advantage of and used me to get back at someone else..... who left me feeling like a cheap tumble dryer with a mouldy old sock in it that wont dry, dirtying the inside.
Another fed me more bullshit than a bullshit factory with an overloaded Christmas schedule churning out bullshit by the barrell. On a bullshit scale of 1-10 he was a perfect 10.
Another called me every day for two weeks and made me feel like I was really onto something....he made himself sound so genuine, I believed he was interested in me as a person and not just as a pair of tits with a hole at cock level. He came and spent the weekend with me and we had incredible sex and really enjoyed being together........ and then I never heard another word...(I know. You're not surprised. I, unfortunately, was.) He didn't need to go through all the crap beforehand. I would have slept with him anyway, he was very horny.
It's just a game to these people .
Are these not tossers? Am I being too petty here? Expecting too much? Is this normal behaviour?
Well I hope no one is offended by my blast of tosser-outing. I am merely complying with Chief TIT's orders and regurgitating scenes from a forgettable sex life and a tired PM inbox.
It is these sad few who make it harder for all the lovely people on here - They who must be entertained. .... wink

SunBunny, tosser magnet extraordinaire.

27 Feb 2005

unfortunatly bunny thats the net for you although its been a life saver for me with my transition its also been a curse ive had the typical tosser crap the problem i find though are tossers are that cowardly they darnt be seen in public with a ts its that male ego thang lol takes a special kind of guy to put his ego in a bag and put under the bed ,ive met a few which a like rocking horse crap bit like the bi fems on alot of sites lol another menace ive found is the total lunatic that needs locking up for good thats so fixated by transsexuals and a simple word like no means no they become hell bent on finding where you live and either become a pest that wont sod off or they want to cut your bits off already had one pertencial lunatic on here evil

you know who you are

27 Feb 2005

Deepest commiserations on your experiences with "tossers". Daft as it sounds, but they are everywhere. The number of messagies and PM's I get to the effect of "when's your next party, I want an invite to give all your womena good shagging" is unbelievable. Thankfully I get the occasional genuine contact too to help put the world to rights, but as a single guy, it makes me cringe that these tossers are of the same species as the rest of us...grrr
I mean, does anyone seriously believe that a stupid one-liner like that would stand a chance? Is that an indication of their ability to hold a conversaton and mix socially in amongst people who would be strangers to him? What can they be thinking?
So basically, I can sympathise with your "TITS / MUFF" ideas, but please have an "Assiciate Members" section for the blokes who are pissed off with tossers too. lol

27 Feb 2005

tossers mmm "bin them"

28 Feb 2005

Quote by manofmuchfun
I put my heart an soul into that shag ! an guess what? .......afterwards she said ......I got what I came for.....must go !
!

Ah well, at least that's one better than 'I didn't get what i came for....must go!' lol

28 Feb 2005

Quote by rachel-lane
unfortunatly bunny thats the net for you

Rachel I attract them in the real world too. confused

But please, my tosser tales are not a suggestion that no man should ever approach me for fear of having his testicles ripped off with my sharpened teeth. :twisted: I would just prefer it if you didn't send me an introductory PM asking 'Do you do anal?' in the same badly spelt sentence as 'My mum's away for the week so wanna teach me how to be dirty (my step brother wants to join in as well)? '

28 Feb 2005

Ow! Ow! There was the guy I had spoken to for quite a while (not the norm for me) and it all sounded great - the promise of hours of rampant fun.
Then one evening he said "why don't you come over now"
Me - "right now?"
Him - "Yeah, my mate has turned up, but I can leave him in the livingroom and if you go straight up stairs we can get busy. If you hurry it will work coss we are going out at 9"
Me - "You want me to come round for a 15 minute fumble, whilst your mate sits downstairs waiting for you to go out?"
Him - " Why do you sound pissed off? I thought it would be better than nothing!"
Me - "Mmmmm, how can I resist an offer like that!"
Him - "So you'll come over"
Me - "Yes"
Him - "Really?"
Me - " Sorry did I say yes? I meant fuck off you sad prick!"

28 Feb 2005

Might I suggest an alternative group the Fighting Against Real Tossers Society, (FARTS) this would allow the male side of SH to join in our fight to expose the real tossers who not only waste our time but also make peole feel crap. I know that " it goes with the territory" but any advice for others to help spot them would possibly be useful and should be listed in the Tips On Actually Spotting Tossers (TOAST) section

28 Feb 2005

Of course the Tosser is not always detectable on first meeting.
One guy I had met a couple of times. He actually seemed quite a normal non-tosser type.
Then, one evening I was invited around to his house. I arrived to find he had invited some guy home from work to watch :shock: mad

28 Feb 2005

The stories in here really beggar belief, don't they. I think it links back to something we were discussing on another thread a week ago, that despite all the the cafe threads and all the things discussed here on the forum - the wonderful richness of humanity that they display in here - there remains this attitude at large that if someone is a swinger (male or female), they must be grubbing around in the gutter ready to shag anything at any opportunity, under any circumstances whatsoever, without any discernment at all.
May I join the acronym club? How about SATELLITE: Society Against Tossers Electing Low-Life Incomprehensibly Tacky Excuses (for a shag)
Mike.

28 Feb 2005

Then there was the guy - or should I say boy - who wanted me to complete his fantasy and include myself in a MMF in a hotel in Essex.
At first I got into the idea - and so after some PMs and a couple of text messages he called me for some phone sex. I was very turned on - thinking how nice it would be to turn up for this exciting evening of double pleasure, me as the centre of attention - and was looking forward to a good old-fashioned wank while he talked me sexily through it.......
Seductive chat my arse.
I think I managed to get my hands in my knickers to feel how ready I was for what I anticipated would be a satisfying phone sex sesh before he shot his load down the phone (not literally of course) and then said 'Right, I have to go, I'm meeting my girlfriend in 10 minutes'.
I didn't meet him and his friend for a night of wild abandon. I just deleted his details and thought TOSSER. Then I made a sandwich and imagined his cock as the filling...taking a nice big crunchy bite. wink

28 Feb 2005

Quote by cool4catz
Then, one evening I was invited around to his house. I arrived to find he had invited some guy home from work to watch :shock:

What's wrong with that then?
(Sorry , I'll get me coat...)
You are absolutely right(thinks - tosser)
BUT I should explain:
1 - I had not been informed said male would be there to watch.
2 - The guy had been working a short term temp contract - so had worked with said male for a matter of weeks and had been bragging about his ventures in swinging and asked the guy round to prove he was not lying!
3 - When I said "does he have to be here?" I was told yes he did and if he couldn't watch then I wouldn't get fucked - ah ha the call my bluff routine (what a dickhead!)
4 - and this is the most important part of all - the said guy was not allowed to join in!!!!!!!

28 Feb 2005

I think it's about time to sort out the Men from the Tossers!!

28 Feb 2005

Quote by da69ve
I think it's about time to sort out the Men from the Tossers!!

Good Idea da69ve.
So all you men out there get pm'ing now. There's at least three ladies waiting as it is.
And all you TOSSERS spare yourselves the frustration of endless near hits.
Play with your dicks and leave the pm'ing to the men. lol

28 Feb 2005

The tossers just aren't very bright or very sussed. I'd feel sorry for them, but you do feel the urge to shout 'GET A CLUE'.
Problem is, the net is where they congregate. This is the easiest place for them to hang out so we can't really be surprised that the clueless and friendless are over-represented. Those who actually have friends or social skills are probably down the pub having a good time.
It's just a fact of life, but it's very depressing when you meet too many of them (like I do, lol).
But it's all worthwhile when you meet a non-tosser, so persevere.

28 Feb 2005

I was on MSN the other day when a said tosser added himself and asked for a picture. I thought ok, I'll sned you a picture, so there I was posting him an incredibly large file of a picture of flowers. He never specified what he wanted so I thought I would play with him.
After his dial up connection had finished downloading the picture, funny enough he was not ammused. He then shouted a load of abuse at me and put me on blocked!!? not sure how to handle that one. rolleyes

28 Feb 2005

I've been thinking about starting a club for ages, printing some labels out to stick on peoples windscreens that block pavements and stuff. I was thinking of calling this club British Association of Stupid Tarts and Right Dickheads, I could then shout BASTARD at them.
Chris

28 Feb 2005

Quote by marmalaid
I've been thinking about starting a club for ages, printing some labels out to stick on peoples windscreens that block pavements and stuff. I was thinking of calling this club British Association of Stupid Tarts and Right Dickheads, I could then shout BASTARD at them.
Chris

I already do. Every morning mad

:x

28 Feb 2005

Quote by Libra-Love
I've been thinking about starting a club for ages, printing some labels out to stick on peoples windscreens that block pavements and stuff. I was thinking of calling this club British Association of Stupid Tarts and Right Dickheads, I could then shout BASTARD at them.
Chris

I already do. Every morning mad

:x
Oh good, a kindred spirit! I find it iritating hen people park on the pavement ( and reverse out of drives)
Chris