TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH!!
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = you’ll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = you’ll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so... Manly = you need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = the correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Great Tits!
I love you = let’s have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Translation services for Men and Women
Sex God
Nice one! 
:lol: :lol:
However if Charlotte sees this one I could be in trouble, rather accurate for this evening.
:lol: 
Roger the Dragon
:lol: :lol: Quote by MrFC
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
However if Charlotte sees this one I could be in trouble, rather accurate for this evening.
:lol: Roger the Dragon
Saw this...
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY
All you have to do is be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father figure
6. a teacher
7. an educator
8. a cook
9. a gardener
10. a carpenter
11. a driver
12. an engineer
13. a mechanic
14. an interior decorator
15. a stylist
16. a sex therapist
17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician
18. a psychologist
19. a psychiatrist
20. a therapist
21. a good father
22. a gentleman
23. well organized
24. tidy
25. very clean
26. athletic
27. affectionate
28. affable
29. attentive
30. ambitious
31. amenable
32. articulate
33. bold
34. brave
35. creative
36. courageous
37. complimentary
38. capable
39. decisive
40. intelligent
41. imaginative
42. interesting
43. prudent
44. patient
45. polite
46. passionate
47. respectful
48. sweet
49. strong
50. skillful
51. supportive
52. sympathetic
53. tolerant
54. understanding
55. someone who loves shopping
56. someone who doesn't make problems
57. someone who never looks at other women
58. very rich
AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:
59. are neither jealous nor disinterested
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them than with her
61. give her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes
ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation
HOW HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Let him play with your boobs.
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY
All you have to do is be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father figure
6. a teacher
7. an educator
8. a cook
9. a gardener
10. a carpenter
11. a driver
12. an engineer
13. a mechanic
14. an interior decorator
15. a stylist
16. a sex therapist
17. a gynaecologist/obstetrician
18. a psychologist
19. a psychiatrist
20. a therapist
21. a good father
22. a gentleman
23. well organized
24. tidy
25. very clean
26. athletic
27. affectionate
28. affable
29. attentive
30. ambitious
31. amenable
32. articulate
33. bold
34. brave
35. creative
36. courageous
37. complimentary
38. capable
39. decisive
40. intelligent
41. imaginative
42. interesting
43. prudent
44. patient
45. polite
46. passionate
47. respectful
48. sweet
49. strong
50. skillful
51. supportive
52. sympathetic
53. tolerant
54. understanding
55. someone who loves shopping
56. someone who doesn't make problems
57. someone who never looks at other women
58. very rich
AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:
59. are neither jealous nor disinterested
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them than with her
61. give her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes
ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation
HOW HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Let him play with your boobs.
