in s&m the sub is always in control. The dom plays within the subs' boundaries and gets pleasure from that.
The dom overtime will get to know the sub and their boundaries and push them... but the sub is always in overall control.
in S&M I am a switch which means that in a scene I can take on either role depending on whom I am playing with. But as a Dom I have to be sure that my sub is happy and I am doing everything that s/he wants.
and are you saying you are submissive, or just passing over control and trust?
I always think that a truly submissive person can be walked over in all circumstances. That they have no ability to comprehend an argument or alternative thought and are unable to make decisions for themselves.
The sub dom relationship requires a complex mix of demands, with the possibility of either the sub or the dom determining how much play is involved. Either can control by dom or sub values. They set rules and follow their code of conduct.
So each needs a strong sense of their own character and how to apply it. A truly submissive person does not usually have this ability, they are insufficient in such qualities.
Even if a couple are staying within conventional sexual practises there is a constant exchange of wit and repartee which includes sub and dom like exchanges. Or more closely related to role play?
Women I've played with that enjoy the 'submissive/passive' role seem to give a variety of reasons as to why they want to.
Anything from pure escapism, to having a desire to feel used, to only wanting to be played with sexually, to role-play, to wanting to be 'controlled' by another, to those who gain genuine pleasure from servitude.
I've toyed with the idea with taking on a submissive role sexually, but I'd still be Topping from the bottom!
I am a true submissive . I enjoy being Dominated and used by both male and female Dominants. I like to be controlled and told what to do and told what is going to be done to me. I also enjoy being verbally humiliated.
Saying all this i am not stupid I have my boundaries,
which all my Dominants know in advance. Some things i will not do or take and if these are broken the game is over.
So yes the submissive is always in control, a good Dominant only makes it look as though they are.
HLB you sound a lot like me and what I like sometimes. I wonder sometimes whether is it roleplaying or being sub. Or maybe as POLO says - I am just being greedy. But I often want to be totally submissive. TO be told what to do. Tying up sometimes comes into it - but not always. It is that "loss of control" thing, but knowing that you can trust your partner too. I have not yet met someone who can totally understand that. To say, for example, "I want you to suck me now" etc. It takes all "responsiblity" away from you and it is something I so want to explore! But without going into a sub/dom relationship it seems virtually impossible to find. Well for me anyway!
aRSexx :color:
. In others everytime the person tries to be Domme on my I resist automatically....:giggle:
