to the veterinarian. He found out that the problem was hair in its ears
so he cleaned both of its ears out and the dog could hear fine.
The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring, she
should go to the store and get some hair remover and rub it in its ears once a
month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some hair remover. At the cash
register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under
your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says, "Oh. Well, if you're using it on your legs, don't
shave for a couple of days."
The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know,
I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
A nun is sittingwith her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language
this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was
going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that is
hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground
after
going only about 100 yards.
"Is that when you swore?
No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran
out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to
run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the MotherSuperior again.
Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel wasrunning, an eagle came down out of the sky,grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in itsclaws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.
Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock,bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole.
The two nuns
were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and
said,
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
_______________________________
cos yer worth it
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
