If it looks anything like this it is Australian and its bite hurts but it is not deadly poiseness.
My son is in Australia at present and he send me the pic.
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Under attack!!!!!
I dont mind spiders , as pololady said they do kill off the other nasty insects in the house ( only spiders i kill are the red spider mite , ok not really spiders but they kill my garden plants and house plants GAH !!! lol ). BUT in saying that when I was married and staying in sunny East Lothian my ex was up the loft and asked me to come up with a hammer!!!
Now she was brought up on a farm and nothing fazed her except for this spider........ she shoved me up the ladder to be confronted by the biggest spider i've ever seen outside of the zoo tarantula's !!!. This thing had to be 2" long about an inch wide , had huge fat hairy legs and was a mottled/stripey brown colour. Well lets just say it took 2 bleeding hard hits with a 2lb hammer to kill the thing and the crunching noise it made was orrible :eeek:
Never did find out where the thing had come from but i'm 100% certain it wasn't a native of this island !!!
Davie
Now she was brought up on a farm and nothing fazed her except for this spider........ she shoved me up the ladder to be confronted by the biggest spider i've ever seen outside of the zoo tarantula's !!!. This thing had to be 2" long about an inch wide , had huge fat hairy legs and was a mottled/stripey brown colour. Well lets just say it took 2 bleeding hard hits with a 2lb hammer to kill the thing and the crunching noise it made was orrible :eeek:
Never did find out where the thing had come from but i'm 100% certain it wasn't a native of this island !!!
Davie
Sex God
:shock: I'm absolutely terrified of spiders. I've seen a few in my classroom and only half-heartedly protested when the brave boys have done the squashing thing to appease the girls. I dread any of the kids finding out - if/when they do, I will no doubt be inundated with lots of presents from the undergrowth in the playground. 
Quote by PoloLady
The 8-legged beasty went into hiding last night.
It seriously is HUGE! :shock:
Strangely the over-sized moth and all the flying daddy-longlegs have disappeared (along with half a chick from the fridge) :uhoh:
I am being extra vigilant today!
without out a doubt this is the funniest post i ever read! i sooooo needed some light relief and i just got it, thanks Pololady, if i was u i would check its not a swinger in disguise? davej perhaps? lol
btw sorry to laugh in the face of your fear, and i also cant stand the furry little so n so's
bbw
xx
Quote by PoloLady
Trap it, gas it, skin it, make yourself a pair of thumbless gloves.
I think you might have something similar to one we had a few years back which.....and this isn't a lie....we could here it bloody walk up the wall :shock:
Yes I think I can hear it under the desk (tapping the chicken bones together). :shock:
I am trying to think - have a bought a large bunch of bananas lately or a tropical plant?
Or a didjeridoo - didn't someone once buy an authentic didjeridoo, and the resident very poisionous spider bit them on the lip while they were playing? ( :? or am I falling for another urban myth?)Have you checked on your shoulder? that is where the really nasty spiders end up in all the films I watch.
lhk
Kat
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
As a father of three girls I sympathise with Pololady's fear of a spider.
When we got one in our house then I would have four screaming women(3 girls and Mum) to contend with. I once came back from a w/e away to find they had not used the bath as there had been a spider in it since I left. If that was a man he would be called some smelly names but girls are allowed to be squemish with a spider faceing them hehehehehe.
I am lucky I am not worried by the beasts so am able to pick them up and put them in the garden. Our pampus grass was full of them and not even the dog would pee on it pmsl
And don't even get me started on the THUNDERSTORM escapade lmao.
sorry Pololady I digress.
If you want a spider catching man to help then I am available but I guess by the time I get there he'll have fallen madly in love with you and be like putty in your hands heheheheh
:twisted: Taff666 :twisted:
As a father of three girls I sympathise with Pololady's fear of a spider.
When we got one in our house then I would have four screaming women(3 girls and Mum) to contend with. I once came back from a w/e away to find they had not used the bath as there had been a spider in it since I left. If that was a man he would be called some smelly names but girls are allowed to be squemish with a spider faceing them hehehehehe.
I am lucky I am not worried by the beasts so am able to pick them up and put them in the garden. Our pampus grass was full of them and not even the dog would pee on it pmsl
And don't even get me started on the THUNDERSTORM escapade lmao.
sorry Pololady I digress.
If you want a spider catching man to help then I am available but I guess by the time I get there he'll have fallen madly in love with you and be like putty in your hands heheheheh
:twisted: Taff666 :twisted:
Quote by cardiffbornlad
As a father of three girls I sympathise with Pololady's fear of a spider.
I am not afraid of spiders!
But this is no ordinary spider - if it went in the bathroom I have no doubt it would be able to shut the door behind itself.
It is still in hiding - though god knows where a spider big enough to carry a chicken could find to hide. And don't say in a shoe - if it went after my shoes the bloody thing is big enough to be wearing them. :shock:
Don't suppose this is the time to mention that the average human ingests about 6 spiders in their lifetime :
Picture it, you are asleep, dead to the world, mouth slightly open, spinny comes along looking for a nice, warm, moist little cul-de-sac to spin its web in...
Whoops :!:
So, if that spider is annoying you, your response should be simple (and ozone friendly):
Relax and go to sleep.
: Picture it, you are asleep, dead to the world, mouth slightly open, spinny comes along looking for a nice, warm, moist little cul-de-sac to spin its web in...
Whoops :!:
So, if that spider is annoying you, your response should be simple (and ozone friendly):
Relax and go to sleep.
Quote by PoloLady
But this mother flucker is like having an extra lodger. I am concerned it is not native to these shores :shock:
I think you've just recently disturbed it from where it usually lives, either in the garden or in the house, you're not doing any DIY are you by any chance?
Actually, why don't you ask him/her to get to work on your Anderson? Just go out and get another 3 sledges and you'll be away!
Quote by welsh one
step away from the moniter and phone steve irwin immeadiatly, coz that a real dangerous critter you got therelet us know if you catch the bugger, i loved spiders until that bloody arachnaphobia film came out lol come catch mine when your done there polo lady
Is the real dangerous critter steve irwin
: :?: He's a mad man :twisted: Sounds like the need for a cat, lizard or empty dustbin :?
Quote by Smoking Muff
Steve Irwin!!!!!! :doh:
For god sake give me the spider any day. Could take it out shopping for shoes and things. Maybe even train it to hold vibrators and such.
Yeah, I' well twisted :crazy:
Take it shopping??? Woman, have you any idea how much you'd spend on shoes for that many feet?
Quote by In_awe_of_U
Steve Irwin!!!!!! :doh:
For god sake give me the spider any day. Could take it out shopping for shoes and things. Maybe even train it to hold vibrators and such.
Yeah, I' well twisted :crazy:
Take it shopping??? Woman, have you any idea how much you'd spend on shoes for that many feet?
Probably less than she'd spend on her own two! Have you never had a woman buy you shoes?
Sexpert
Quote by marmalaid
Steve Irwin!!!!!! :doh:
For god sake give me the spider any day. Could take it out shopping for shoes and things. Maybe even train it to hold vibrators and such.
Yeah, I' well twisted :crazy:
Take it shopping??? Woman, have you any idea how much you'd spend on shoes for that many feet?
Probably less than she'd spend on her own two! Have you never had a woman buy you shoes?
yep i know that feeling , asked a lass to pick me up a pair of trainers while she was shoping and gave her some money , 5 hours later she turns up with 4 pairs and wouldnt give me the recept to take them back or let me give her the money to make up the difference ... hmm theres an idea wonder if i have a huge spider around to break them in for me
matt
and no it wasnt crystal ..honest it wasnt ((says no while noding his head to indicate yes))
News Flash – the beast is captured!(but my shag has gone)
This evening I had a ‘friend’ over who was well aware of the amplitudinous arachnid (huge spider) lurking upstairs in the computer room. My friend explains he has a genuine fear of spiders and asks if we can say in the living room.
A change is as good as a rest me thinks….
We start to snuggle. There is a dvd playing, curtains closed, candles lit, drinks poured, bean bags and giant cushions to roll around in on the floor. Clothes begin to loosen (well disappear actually). Eight o’clock and all is well. :twisted:
At approx. I get the girliest scream in my ear. :shock: I jump up to see what the problem was – as my friend is running into the kitchen
shouting “fucking hell, fucking hell, oh fuck, Jesus, fuck†.
The Herculean hairy web-weaver was dogging us from the top of the television .
I asked my friend to bring in a plastic cup – he refuses point blank (wuss). Well when I say refused... it was more like :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell:
Armed with my plastic cup I approach the beast. The cheeky fucker doesn’t run off but stands it’s ground and rears up, flicking it’s front legs at the looming cup and spreads its remaining legs out - to look as intimidating as it possibly can :shock: .
As I am just about to make the final quick slam of the cup over the brut (before it decides to do another runner) I realise something – something very disturbing. It is NOT going to fit into the cup! :doh:
Too late – the cup lunge had commenced. :scared:
The ends of a few of its legs were now sticking out from under the cup, so I had to wiggle it about a bit to get it all in.
I ran into the kitchen to tell my friend it was safe to come back in. By this time he was dressed, white as a snowman and seemed to be perspiring a lot more that a few minutes previous
.
Unconvinced this was the same spider from upstairs, my friend decided he should go as he was most likely to up-chuck :uhoh: at any moment and was more likely to be sent into space on the next shuttle mission than be able to ‘perform’ after seeing (and being in the same room as) the super-size spidey.
So I now have the beast captured – but no company
I wonder if I take it to the club if I can get the Jacuzzi to myself on a Friday night
:grin: :grin: :grin:
This evening I had a ‘friend’ over who was well aware of the amplitudinous arachnid (huge spider) lurking upstairs in the computer room. My friend explains he has a genuine fear of spiders and asks if we can say in the living room.
A change is as good as a rest me thinks….
We start to snuggle. There is a dvd playing, curtains closed, candles lit, drinks poured, bean bags and giant cushions to roll around in on the floor. Clothes begin to loosen (well disappear actually). Eight o’clock and all is well. :twisted:
At approx. I get the girliest scream in my ear. :shock: I jump up to see what the problem was – as my friend is running into the kitchen
shouting “fucking hell, fucking hell, oh fuck, Jesus, fuck†. The Herculean hairy web-weaver was dogging us from the top of the television
. I asked my friend to bring in a plastic cup – he refuses point blank (wuss). Well when I say refused... it was more like :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell:
Armed with my plastic cup I approach the beast. The cheeky fucker doesn’t run off but stands it’s ground and rears up, flicking it’s front legs at the looming cup and spreads its remaining legs out - to look as intimidating as it possibly can :shock: .
As I am just about to make the final quick slam of the cup over the brut (before it decides to do another runner) I realise something – something very disturbing. It is NOT going to fit into the cup! :doh:
Too late – the cup lunge had commenced. :scared:
The ends of a few of its legs were now sticking out from under the cup, so I had to wiggle it about a bit to get it all in.
I ran into the kitchen to tell my friend it was safe to come back in. By this time he was dressed, white as a snowman and seemed to be perspiring a lot more that a few minutes previous
. Unconvinced this was the same spider from upstairs, my friend decided he should go as he was most likely to up-chuck :uhoh: at any moment and was more likely to be sent into space on the next shuttle mission than be able to ‘perform’ after seeing (and being in the same room as) the super-size spidey.
So I now have the beast captured – but no company
I wonder if I take it to the club if I can get the Jacuzzi to myself on a Friday night
:grin: :grin: :grin:
Sex God
I am sitting here all goosebumpy and cold now. :cry: What have you done/do you intend to do with it?
Sex God
If it's female it might have lots of spider babies that will be just as huge :shock: Take it somewhere if you think it's really a foreign species. Or kill the bloody thing. God I feel sick.
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
It's tapping on the cup
:shock: For god's sake woman, kill the bloody thing!
Sexpert
take a piccy of it PL let us all see what the super spidey looks like babes 
and if u cant think of anything else to do with it max loves having spiders sit on his head so send it up this way
matt
DONT DONT DONT DONT DONT EEEKKK
that god damb lizard is bad enough dont send me a giant spider too , ill lose whats left of the living room :shudder:
crystal
and if u cant think of anything else to do with it max loves having spiders sit on his head so send it up this way
matt
DONT DONT DONT DONT DONT EEEKKK
that god damb lizard is bad enough dont send me a giant spider too , ill lose whats left of the living room :shudder:
crystal
Sexpert
A DOGGING SPIDER :lol: :lol: :lol:
Well it sure ain't never gonna sneak up on no courting couple with those legs
Not purchased bananas today have you:
:lol: :lol: :lol: Well it sure ain't never gonna sneak up on no courting couple with those legs
Not purchased bananas today have you
: Just coz the 'thing' is captured and PoloLady's freind has gone home I don't think now the time to talk about sexy fruit.
With those legs and size it'll be be able to tap on the passenger window and open the drivers door at the same time. :twisted:
Agggggg - we have the making of arachnaphobia II .
Take a pic and kill it. 
:x :evil:
With those legs and size it'll be be able to tap on the passenger window and open the drivers door at the same time. :twisted:
Agggggg - we have the making of arachnaphobia II .
Take a pic and kill it.
:x :evil: Quote by blue4fantasy
Take a pic and kill it.
Quote by heaysyandck
take a piccy of it PL let us all see what the super spidey looks like babes
Yeah-right!
I am going to let it out of it's container and ask it to say "cheese" whilst I take a snap-shot for the family album - NOT!
The beast is now free.
I slid card under the cup and took it outside. I then thought if it can get that far around the house it could easily get back to the house from the pavement - so I walked up the road a short distance. I then thoought it was big enough to hang on to the inside of the cup if it wanted and wondered how I would let it go. So I walked further up the street to the Post Office and threw the cup into a rubbish bin. (I have to admit at this point I did start to run away - incase it followed me)
. It has plenty of choices what to do from there - it is right next to a bus stop, so if it wants to go into town, catch a movie or something
I am just keeping my fingers crossed that it is the one from upstairs :uhoh:
