Unrequited Love

15 Jan 2007

Hi folks. Been a member on here for ages but hardly posted due to my pc being from the dark ages and still being on dial-up!
Need opinions on what to do about a situation - and I know you can be relied upon to tell the truth or take the piss biggrin

Imagine you have been in 'unrequited love' with someone for 6 months who is aware of your swinging adventures and is finds it interesting and amusing.
You finally tell them how you feel - and they tell you they have felt the same for the last 3 years (3 bloody years!!!) - but they are in a relationship and scared to rock the boat.
What do you do? Pressure them to go for it? Or remain friends and hope it all comes together in the end?
It's driving me me f***ing mental!!

15 Jan 2007

wouldnt see the point of pressuring them to do anything?
if she wants to get with you she will, if she prefers her current partner she wont!
So, ask her and then you will know!

15 Jan 2007

Quote by mazandden
wouldnt see the point of pressuring them to do anything?
if she wants to get with you she will, if she prefers her current partner she wont!
So, ask her and then you will know!

:thumbup: only one answer here & that is from her. For me, why is the need to put pressure on? do you think you are above this person? Partners & friends are equal, men & women are equal- there should be no pressure- what will be will be

15 Jan 2007

Very true.
Suppose it is that simple.
But when you have fallen for someone it gets a bit confused sad

Think I'll stick to the odd threesome - less hassle and stress smile

15 Jan 2007

I agree with the others here so far. Pressuriing her is an absolute no-no, and is likely to make you less attractive in her eyes. Of course we don't know either of you, so this is guessing, but you have asked. To me, your swinging adventures seem irrelevant here.

15 Jan 2007

Quote by hisandhers
wouldnt see the point of pressuring them to do anything?
if she wants to get with you she will, if she prefers her current partner she wont!
So, ask her and then you will know!

:thumbup: only one answer here & that is from her. For me, why is the need to put pressure on? do you think you are above this person? Partners & friends are equal, men & women are equal- there should be no pressure- what will be will be
My apologies - pressure was the wrong word. There is no way I think I'm 'above' this girl. Jesus, that makes me feel terrible. She means the world to me. I was trying to say that should I continue to tell her that I want her and want to be with her - instead of just letting it drift and see what happens.

15 Jan 2007

Quote by thepole
wouldnt see the point of pressuring them to do anything?
if she wants to get with you she will, if she prefers her current partner she wont!
So, ask her and then you will know!

:thumbup: only one answer here & that is from her. For me, why is the need to put pressure on? do you think you are above this person? Partners & friends are equal, men & women are equal- there should be no pressure- what will be will be
My apologies - pressure was the wrong word. There is no way I think I'm 'above' this girl. Jesus, that makes me feel terrible. She means the world to me. I was trying to say that should I continue to tell her that I want her and want to be with her - instead of just letting it drift and see what happens.
like I say , what will be will be good luck

15 Jan 2007

Cheers for the feedback - it all says the same thing and what I knew deep down was correct - just wait and see what happens. I've waited six months - I can wait another six if need be.
That was quite weird - getting a bit of a shoeing for the way I phrased things but very liberating - ta!!!
So it's back on to the photo ads until she decides otherwise wink

15 Jan 2007

If she doesn't want to rock the boat then rocking the boat for her won't get anybody very far.
Good luck.
.

16 Jan 2007

Quote by thepole
Hi folks. Been a member on here for ages but hardly posted due to my pc being from the dark ages and still being on dial-up!
Need opinions on what to do about a situation - and I know you can be relied upon to tell the truth or take the piss
Imagine you have been in 'unrequited love' with someone for 6 months who is aware of your swinging adventures and is finds it interesting and amusing.
You finally tell them how you feel - and they tell you they have felt the same for the last 3 years (3 bloody years!!!) - but they are in a relationship and scared to rock the boat.
What do you do? Pressure them to go for it? Or remain friends and hope it all comes together in the end?
It's driving me me f***ing mental!!

If you love them, you must support their position and not pressure them.
If you just want a fuck, try someone else who does not need pressure.

16 Jan 2007

I know exactly how you feel hunni. Me and my best mate got together intimately although we both knew it was wrong because of his other relationship but agreed to call it a day when our feelings for each other got deeper and more complicated. That was 6 months ago and he's still my closest and most trusted friend and soulmate. We're just not a couple. For now I am content to be the best friend he has.
I love him dearly and wouldn't do anything to hurt him but I will always be there if he needed me, no matter what the reason.
What I'm trying to say is, be her friend, be there for her when she needs you but don't make any demands on her or pressure her in any way. If you do that, you'll push her away.
They say good things come to those who wait so just hold out and see what happens. If someone told me that my mate would choose me eventually but I'd have to wait 5 years, I'd buy a big book and be patient. He's worth every second
Good luck to you :thumbup:

16 Jan 2007

I sympathise with you Mr. Pole ‘cos I’m in a similar situation myself. Not quite as long lasting as yourself but still intense enough for me to be driving me nuts!!!
I think the world of this lady & she knows it but she has a complicated life at the moment and I feel I’m just an added complication for her.
I keep feeling I should step away and leave her to get on with things but I really can’t do it. She says she wants me in her life which is good enough for me at the moment.
The thing which is really doing my head in is I feel really guilty that I’m longing for her current relationship to fail totally so we might have a chance of being together some time in the future. I sincerely want her to be happy but I am wishing this unhappiness on her so we might be together!!!
I feel a complete shit sometimes.
At the moment all I can do is like Sassy says, be her friend, be there for her when she needs me but not make any demands on her or pressure her in any way. “They say good things come to those who wait so just hold out and see what happens. If someone told me that my mate would choose me eventually but I'd have to wait 5 years, I'd buy a big book and be patient. She's worth every to quote you Sassy kiss

but that sums it up perfectly for me to.
Good luck to you thepole & I hope things work out for you.

16 Jan 2007

If you have feelings for someone then regardless of your intentions you are always going to act on the hope that they will 'find' you.
Which, they may inevitably do, but pressuring them will only add to their confusion if they have any feelings for you and make it worse.
Be honest about your feelings, and if you can be patient and wait then do it with a degree of distance and objectivity.
If she wants to be with you, then it will happen, if not, then don't feel rejected - just move on when your patience runs out. Someone else might be looking for you!
Amber xxx