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Up's and downs of swinging

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I really want to stop swinging had some low points over the last few months
But i have given it a rest and came back and now i'm back (i knew i would ) sex mad and single you see wink
After all i try to really get to know the person i meet now not like the old days so i know what im in store for and after all i only want a shag nothing more
But i have been abused humiliated and torn apart by the last 2 men i have met and feeling very bitter
i know not all men are the same but why is it i am not picking them right leaves me thinking is it me am i that bad a person some unknown man can treat me like that
and yes they are both still on SWINGING HEAVEN watch out women im not allowed to say who but i hope you never come across them
Ok rant over had to post it so i can move on and hopfully meet someone who deserves to spend some time with me lol
Debz xxxx
Sadly it's a fact of life that some men (and dare I say it some women) but ok mostly men, think that swinging is all about a quick leg-over and moving on. WRONG. Well for me it's wrong and if people on here can't observe a few common courtesies and show some respect then the world's a poorer place for it. Er I was going to go on and on and on but I hope I have made my point (and doubtless bored you all).
Play nice, treat people as people and we'll all be happier for it.
And just for the record I think you're lovely Debz xxxxxxxx
Hi Debs,
Im sorry to hear that you've been hurt. :therethere: And am purely here to reassure you that there are some truly wonderful men out there.
At the moment I'm lucky in that I am surrounded by them- thank feck because I need them right now (you know who you are guys kiss) And Im sure that your time will come. If you have defined your boundaries as far as swinging is concerned, and you stick to them, I'm sure you're a lot less likely to be hurt again.
Good luck :kiss:
Yeah thanks for that but it's not like im new at this swinging lark been ok untill just recently i know what im looking for i know my boundrys i know im not everyones cup of tea i do vet them but seems like they know all the answers before i say the questions
I Will carry on but how can i be even more weary than i am already beets me
And i have met lots of really nice people just seems 2 came alaong aftet each other and spoilt all the memorys of the fun i have had in the past :cry:
Cheers nw-chap your not half bad yaself wink
Debz xxxx
All men are bastards......apparently. Really annoys me when Colin Hunts like this give the rest of us a bad name. Hope you find some really nice chaps from now on to level things out a bit x
Quote by debz4u
I really want to stop swinging had some low points over the last few months
But i have given it a rest and came back and now i'm back (i knew i would ) sex mad and single you see wink
After all i try to really get to know the person i meet now not like the old days so i know what im in store for and after all i only want a shag nothing more
But i have been abused humiliated and torn apart by the last 2 men i have met and feeling very bitter
i know not all men are the same but why is it i am not picking them right leaves me thinking is it me am i that bad a person some unknown man can treat me like that
and yes they are both still on SWINGING HEAVEN watch out women im not allowed to say who but i hope you never come across them
Ok rant over had to post it so i can move on and hopfully meet someone who deserves to spend some time with me lol
Debz xxxx

i have to ask...but are you looking to swing with a guy,that might lead on to a relationship? Because i have seen things like this happen where the woman wants to swing but is really looking for a relationship(is this you?)...when it doesn't look like its going their way...all of a sudden the men are complete bastards...we are all here to swing nothing more...would you care to elaborate on your abuse and humiliation and how it lead to this?
Quote by debz4u
I really want to stop swinging had some low points over the last few months
But i have given it a rest and came back and now i'm back (i knew i would ) sex mad and single you see wink
After all i try to really get to know the person i meet now not like the old days so i know what im in store for and after all i only want a shag nothing more
But i have been abused humiliated and torn apart by the last 2 men i have met and feeling very bitter
i know not all men are the same but why is it i am not picking them right leaves me thinking is it me am i that bad a person some unknown man can treat me like that
and yes they are both still on SWINGING HEAVEN watch out women im not allowed to say who but i hope you never come across them
Ok rant over had to post it so i can move on and hopfully meet someone who deserves to spend some time with me lol
Debz xxxx

I really wasn't having a go at men in genrel just the 2 i met last and i know thats no reflection on the mass majority of men in here are mostly nice and genuine
i WAS MEARLY POINTING OUT I MADE 2 VERY BIG MISTAKES IN MEETING THE WRONG MEN
:cry:
PM coming your way mr powers as i dont want to air it what happend in public
Debz xxxx
Debz, you often moan about one thing or another on this forum. A while back you were moaning you didn't have any luck finding men, then you didn't have any luck at clubs. If you remember I suggested on this forum to you months back that considering you were 'almost desperate', asking that the man should be VWE on your profile (as it was then) was limiting your choice somewhat.
But to post that 2 men have done something wrong but not be prepared to mention what it is they did to upset you is a poor show on your part and raises the suspicion that you may be crying wolf.
I'd love to tell you all but really it was my mistake to meet the wrong ones and so what if i moan mostly it's in jest
pm me i will tell anyone who wants to know i wasnt having a go at men nor was i moaning i was pointing out that its not all plane sailing trying to have fun if you read the bottom i needed to post it to forget what happend and move on
i have had some pms telling me i hate men and not all men are the same but no one has read what i actually put properly please read it again it does not say i hate men its me saying i made a big fooking mistake
:cry:
Debz xxxx
I feel for you Debz and anyone else who has a shitty time of it now n again.
Like most, I've had few let downs and disappointments along the way but i can't say i've ever felt the way you do about these 2 men.
The thing is, chicken, and I apologise in advance if this offends you but I'm not one for beating round the bush -
shit happens
some men are shits
so are some women
so are some couple!
if you act a victim, you'll be treated like one
whats wrong with "fuck and fuck off" ?????(or as nw-chap put it - quick leg-over and moving on)
what do you really want out of this and why did it go so wrong with not one but two men on the trot?
without knowing any details whatsoever, it's very hard to say anything about this hurt and humiliation. It may be that, yes, you were totally abused or that you are over-reacting. We may never know.
I'm losing sight of the point to the thread now tbh. If it was just to rant then I'm guessing it's only sympathy you're after and not anything more constructive.
No i never wanted sympathy ..
I'm not crying wolf either
I have been around a fook and go its fine by me
I never said i wanted anything else
just a little reaspect would have been nice from them
after all i'm not a prostitute
but hey your right shit happens
Debz xxxx
Quote by Liaisons
Debz, you often moan about one thing or another on this forum. A while back you were moaning you didn't have any luck finding men, then you didn't have any luck at clubs. If you remember I suggested on this forum to you months back that considering you were 'almost desperate', asking that the man should be VWE on your profile (as it was then) was limiting your choice somewhat.
But to post that 2 men have done something wrong but not be prepared to mention what it is they did to upset you is a poor show on your part and raises the suspicion that you may be crying wolf.

:shock: :shock: :shock:
:gagged:
Quote by Liaisons
But to post that 2 men have done something wrong but not be prepared to mention what it is they did to upset you is a poor show on your part and raises the suspicion that you may be crying wolf.

We also don't know the full circumstances of what's happened so it's unfair to say that they are still on SH and that it's hoped that people don't come across them. We can't all get on/swing happily with the same people, after all.
Have you reported the alleged abuse to mods/admin?
Very true and a good point
but still even if we dont get on there should be a little respect and that never happend wink
Debz xxxx
Quote by debz4u
Very true and a good point
but still even if we dont get on there should be a little respect and that never happend wink
Debz xxxx

There should - but there will no doubt be some people who are aware of who these two men are and it could make things difficult for them, having been accused of abuse.
Quote by debz4u
Very true and a good point
but still even if we dont get on there should be a little respect and that never happend wink
Debz xxxx

Yes but what happened? As you won't say not even in pm, we have to assume nothing happened I'm afraid debz.
Sadly some people post on this forum in the knowledge another party will read their post and that party will realise it is directed at them. That is not the correct use of a forum.
Quote by Freckledbird
Very true and a good point
but still even if we dont get on there should be a little respect and that never happend wink
Debz xxxx

There should - but there will no doubt be some people who are aware of who these two men are and it could make things difficult for them, having been accused of abuse.
Good point. While we all like to think our judgement is unbiased and not jaded by other's opinions, it does happen.
To hear of something negative about someoneone else - regardless of the reasons or even if it's true or not - it has to have some impact, no matter how small, on our feelings towards that person.
Everyone deserves respect, of course they do.
I have to be honest - if Debz posted this to seek advice or gain a second opinion on matters, then it's damn near impossible without any details.
If it is attention seeking, then well played, you got it.
Just a rant? Steam Room, chuck!
FB - feel free to correct my spelling and grammatical errors. I wanted to put "un jaded" but wasn't sure if it was a real word! lol
Quote by Freckledbird
Very true and a good point
but still even if we dont get on there should be a little respect and that never happend wink
Debz xxxx

There should - but there will no doubt be some people who are aware of who these two men are and it could make things difficult for them, having been accused of abuse.
Talking about being accused of abuse, we were not asking debz to name them.
I have been accused of something on this forum by a regular poster. Feel free to search my posts and you will find it from some weeks ago. The accusation is a fantasy of course. I have saved PMs from this person and there are chatroom logs that prove we were on very good terms weeks after this incident was alledged to have taken place. She then went on to make even more allegations to a social organiser that resulted in my name being taken off the list. It was eventualy put back after I PMd the organiser with info that demonstrated these allegations were unlikely to be true, and my name was put back but I did not attend in the end as I had just lost the interest in socialising.
Sadly, on this forum, if a regular post makes an allegation about someone, most will believe them even though they in most cases will not even have met them.
Abuse on this forum by women is tolerated to some extent by SH as they need female posters here to entice men to sign up for paid subscription to the site. :wink:
Aren't you just now doing the same alleged thing? Making a veiled accusation? dunno
Quote by Kiss
Aren't you just now doing the same alleged thing? Making a veiled accusation? dunno

Don't be forum clique contrary (FCC) Kiss. I am stating, not accusing that someone has made an allegation against me and it is untrue. This person's post are there for all to see (unless they have since been removed without my knowledge - I can't be bothered to check) In Law a person does not have to defend themselves against slander, it is the person making the slanderous remark to prove it.
The mods should have removed the entire allegation but instead just tidied it up a bit.
Sure, I could report this person and they might even be banned as a result, but what would that achieve? Nothing for myself (I do not obtain pleasure in revenge as some do), and this person would lose a significant activity in their lives as no other swinging site would provide for their needs in the way SH does.
Quote by Liaisons
Aren't you just now doing the same alleged thing? Making a veiled accusation? dunno

Don't be forum clique contrary (FCC) Kiss. I am stating, not accusing that someone has made an allegation against me and it is untrue. This person's post are there for all to see (unless they have since been removed without my knowledge - I can't be bothered to check) In Law a person does not have to defend themselves against slander, it is the person making the slanderous remark to prove it.
The mods should have removed the entire allegation but instead just tidied it up a bit.
Sure, I could report this person and they might even be banned as a result, but what would that achieve? Nothing for myself (I do not obtain pleasure in revenge as some do), and this person would lose a significant activity in their lives as no other swinging site would provide for their needs in the way SH does.
rotflmao
Whatever you say Liasons. wink
I have locked this thread, sorry Debz. I do feel for you and if there is anything I can do, as a Mod or just someone to talk to, please drop me a pm kiss
If nothing else, I have worked out that talking about issues with men can really help you deal with problems, create new friendships and be a bloody good giggle! (Varca :kisssmile
The reason I have locked this thread is because Liaisons has dragged up an issue which really wasn't needed.
Whatever Debz reasons were for the thread, it is now wasted by personal jibes Liaisons has decided to drag up.
If anyone has a problem with my locking, speak to admin, he never has enough work to do innocent