us single men

2 Nov 2003

hey everyone new one here
i would like to ask wat cum claire asked y is it that us single men allways get the raw end of the deal wat do us men who are just out for a bit of fun no strings have to do most of the couples say no single men is this a jealousy thing going on were the man might feel undermined in the down below area :shock: anyway u all seam kewl people so hi to u all
ps:i am thirty young looking and up for some fun lmao biggrin

2 Nov 2003

You have to accept that everyone has their preferences.
Some couples are looking for other couples, others are looking for single women and some for single guys. There are also couples who are looking for all 3.
It has nothing to do with the fact that there is something wrong with a single guy, mind you having said that there are some guys out there that do make you wonder but thankfully they are in the minority
We are a couple that are only looking for single guys. It isn't a case that we have anything against couples it's just that Pete has trouble these days in getting it up and feels it would be unfair on the other woman. He also gets pleasure in seeing me with other guys.

2 Nov 2003

As has been said a few times on this forum, (straight) single guys looking for couples or single women do get a raw deal, basically because there are many more single guys than couples or women. Thus, there is a huge amount of competition for even one reply! Single women get loads of replies to every ad they place, as do couples looking for single guys. It is almost impossible to have the time to even reply to everyone, let alone meet them all :shock: . If a single guy is just looking for couples he cuts his chances down further as a lot of couples are looking to meet only other couples, or maybe single women. The only advice anyone can give a single guy is to be patient, reply to ads in a positive way, and don't waste time replying to ads that are not looking for anything other than you can offer - e.g., if the ad is asking for guys between 25 and 45 and you are in your late 50s, don't chance your arm, simularly, if a couple are looking for other couples and you are single, don't reply to them in the hope that one day they will change their mind (if they do change their mind, they will place another ad!). Be polite, send pics if they are asked for, and don't expect anything! Have a look at Heather's advice on the advice page - and GOOD LUCK!

2 Nov 2003

Hey Methodman,
Bottom line, there are more of you (single blokes) than us (couples looking for single blokes). And we have strings, jobs, kids, families, friends, lives in general.
Even if every bloke on here was perfect for us, we could never work our way through everyone, so there are bound to be a few that miss out! Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, just that there are not enough gaps in our diary! lol

lhk
Kat

3 Nov 2003

Quote by KitKat
Even if every bloke on here was perfect for us, we could never work our way through everyone, so there are bound to be a few that miss out!

But I'm sure you'd give it a damn good try :-)

3 Nov 2003

hey everyone
ty for the replys u all made some very good points so when it comes down to it the bad ones have fuck it up for the good ones who i must say is a minority plus u allways have to be careful out there in this big wide open world u never now who u meet wonder y there are more men looking for sex than woman on the photo ads there are more couples looking for men lol must say sue and pete your wife looks good enough to eat not littraly lol as anyone got any good free sties to go on looking for single woman or nice couples or is this the best one out there i think we should all get together and just have a massive fuck fest a free for all
bye for now :silly:

3 Nov 2003

One of the primary reasons why single males get such a raw deal is because of their collective behaviour.
Of course there are sensible single males around, however, they are in the minority (sadly). From a couples perspective, it can be quite hard work filtering through the masses of single men in order to get to the nice ones. That's life I'm afraid, and it's unreasonable to expect couples to do that legwork. Far more might be achieved if single males pestered other single males into behaving decently in the first place.
There is one other reason why single males fair badly, and that's erm... dare I say, typical male insecurity. It's not the most popular view in the world, but it's a fair one. Many males in swinging relationships struggle with introducing other men into the relationship, many of them prefering to invite a single fem. This is a very tricky subject to approach and obscured slightly by the popularity of bisexualism amongst women. Nevertheless, underneath all the facade, a lot of blokes still worry about 'comparison' with other blokes and in an attempt to bury their heads in the sand... they play the 'No single male' card.
/TheKid

3 Nov 2003

Quote by TheAnalogKid
There is one other reason why single males fair badly, and that's erm... dare I say, typical male insecurity. It's not the most popular view in the world, but it's a fair one. Many males in swinging relationships struggle with introducing other men into the relationship, many of them prefering to invite a single fem. This is a very tricky subject to approach and obscured slightly by the popularity of bisexualism amongst women. Nevertheless, underneath all the facade, a lot of blokes still worry about 'comparison' with other blokes and in an attempt to bury their heads in the sand... they play the 'No single male' card.

Typical male insecurity? I think you'll find there's also plenty of the female sort. Okay, so maybe we girls have less of a problem admitting our curiosity with regard to bi encounters (ahem!) and that's most likely due to the fact that many men embrace the idea. It's a shame as many men can't embrace the idea that women are more than the sum of their, sometimes, imperfect parts!
Anyway, what was a saying. I remember. Women will equally feel themselves compared, usually unfavourably no matter what the reality, when playing with another single woman.
I've had reason to consider recently the awkward position of the single woman - and it's as prickly as that of men's positions. In fact in some ways more so. If as a couple (the only experience I've had to date) we were to have played with a single guy, I don't for one minute think that my then partner would have suspected the other male of getting involved emotionally. If we were to have played together regularly with a single woman I can see that I might have begun to worry that the single female could begin to feel more closely.. involved with my partner. That's even scarier than being compared on a physical level. It's a shame really because I can see that playing with a regular play partner would be more rewarding than the occasional one-nighter.
I'm sure I'm only looking at this from my own somewhat warped perspective (probably rather polarised due to current circumstances) and that other more experienced players will have very different views.. but I thought I'd throw mine into the pot anyway.
Mandy

3 Nov 2003

Hiya Kid,
Are there really that many more couples looking for couples, or couples looking for women, than couples looking for men?

One of the primary reasons why single males get such a raw deal is because of their collective behaviour.

Agree with this. Too many "men looking for couples" ad posters seem to assume that the only time a couple have great sex is when we invite another male to join us!

There is one other reason why single males fair badly, and that's erm... dare I say, typical male insecurity.

And to any bloke that feels this way:
Duh! Kit and I have had 20 odd year exploring each other, and know just where the buttons are and just how, and when, and how long to push them! Is anybody, however experienced, ever going to be able to match that?!?!
Nope. Having great sex at a meeting is one thing, when you have spent a week getting horny leading up to it, and thought about nothing else all that day!
But having great sex when you have had a shitty day at work, the kids are playing up, your knackered, your going to have another shitty day at work tomorrow and sex is the last thing on your mind. And your partner knows just how to turn that around in 30 seconds, now that is something else.
lhk
Kat

4 Nov 2003

My statements aren't based on individuals but as a collective....
Of course females have insecurities too, I never said otherwise, nevertheless, it is one of the major factors preventing MFM swinging.
I cannot count the number of times I've heard a pile of poppycock from males about wanting to see their wives having a wonderful time... and in the same breath dictating how that should happen, and typically it's by ruling out single men.
The insecurities of both men and women can be rather similar, however the behavioural manifestations can be markedly different. Men tend not to be able to confront them quite as readily as women (on the whole). Some quite deep rooted reasons for this, but still, it's largely true.
Of course there are people out there that prove otherwise, but on a general basis, the figures speak for themselves.... Far fewer couples invite single men to play than they do single women. Far more women engage in bisexual practices than do men... Far more men advertise by talking about their penis size than women do about breast size / figure etc.
For the majority of men... the need to 'prove' oneself gets in the way. It's no better exemplified than in the chatroom / adverts etc.
/The Kid

5 Nov 2003

Last night I got in bed to get some kip and as per usual I put the TV on to fall asleep to. After growing up near noisy places (next to pubs, main roads etc.) I now find it takes me longer to get to sleep with silence.
I caught a programme on cable salled "Sex Sense." I think it was Discovery Health but I'm not too sure. I found the programme so interesting I ended up watching the entire thing and overslept the next morning as a result.
The programme makers carried out a survey at an American university where an attractive woman asked various men one of three questions...
Q: I've seen you around the campus and find you very attractive, would you...
1. like to go out on a date?
2. like to come back to my room?
3. like to have sex with me?
Male answers of YES:
1. 50%
2. Seventy something %
3. Ninety something %
Then they sent a male student out and asked the same questions to the females and here's their answers to YES:
1. 50%
2. Somewhere between 10 and 20%
3. 0%
Question 1 gave the same results where the other questions wielded inverted results.
I can post more information about the programme that came up if anyone's interested but I'm not sure it's relevant to this topic.