hi we are chris and pam we have been on SH 10 mouths now at 1st we didnt have pics on our we added some coz like most people we want fun pam is a very very highly sexed we thought yes this the site for us.i have spent hours pm people and they cant be pm us back even a no thank you in our book that is rude what do you think
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we pm people and 80% never get back
Sex God
People may not have the time to answer every PM - this is a frequent whinge. Not a lot you can do about it really.
well at least you get 20% that get back to you......to be honest in the earlier days when we first started out...if someone pm'd us and we were not interested in them....we were worried that if we pm'd them back with a "thanks but no thanks"....they would pm us back with abuse.....so we just didn't reply back.....this could be another reason you just hear back from them!
Sex God
People respond better to PMs if they know you a bit - otherwise it's a sort of cold call (I mean that in the nicest way).
If you engaged in the foruma bit and people got to know you - you might get a better response rate.
Good luck
.
If you engaged in the foruma bit and people got to know you - you might get a better response rate.
Good luck
.
If your sending your number out straight away it might seem that your desperate, you may think your doing the right thing and showing your genuine but when we see numbers and get them in PM's we run a mile... Play harder to get! Ask information etc, try to get to know who your interested in.... and are you sending a personal message out rather than what might seem to be a cut and pasted begging letter?? Imagine getting what your sending, would you be interested??
Enough said lol..... good luck.
Mike
Enough said lol..... good luck.
Mike
I don't think you can generalise and say that it's rude. People will act in differing ways and 99% of people on here will do anything to avoid causing offence. You say that people don't get back to you - well consider these reasons why.
1. They may feel that it's "rude" to get your hopes up. Telling people that you aren't interested is a very difficult thing because you don't know how they will react to it. We've received emails which simply say "get back to us if you're interested" and as such if we're interested we will get back.
2. Would you rather people email back and were honest? Rather than a polite silence would you rather they responded listing why they didn't find you attractive?
3. Some people/couples find the rejection email as some sort of communication, and therefore a chance to try and "negotiate". As a couple we've got a thing about not travelling, and don't want couples travelling a great distance. On a couple of "thanks but no thanks" emails we politely stated that distance was the issue. All we got were emails trying to convinve us otherwise.
In short not responding, though it may be taken the wrong way, is often the safest option. There is less chance of offending another couple/person or having them try and convince you. We generally respond to most, but some don't read our profile - so if we get an email from a person/couple who haven't had the decency to read our profile and what we're looking for we won't reply.
So - don't take offence, not everyone on here is comfortable in rejecting. Keep smiling and I'm sure you'll have success soon enough!
1. They may feel that it's "rude" to get your hopes up. Telling people that you aren't interested is a very difficult thing because you don't know how they will react to it. We've received emails which simply say "get back to us if you're interested" and as such if we're interested we will get back.
2. Would you rather people email back and were honest? Rather than a polite silence would you rather they responded listing why they didn't find you attractive?
3. Some people/couples find the rejection email as some sort of communication, and therefore a chance to try and "negotiate". As a couple we've got a thing about not travelling, and don't want couples travelling a great distance. On a couple of "thanks but no thanks" emails we politely stated that distance was the issue. All we got were emails trying to convinve us otherwise.
In short not responding, though it may be taken the wrong way, is often the safest option. There is less chance of offending another couple/person or having them try and convince you. We generally respond to most, but some don't read our profile - so if we get an email from a person/couple who haven't had the decency to read our profile and what we're looking for we won't reply.
So - don't take offence, not everyone on here is comfortable in rejecting. Keep smiling and I'm sure you'll have success soon enough!
we wink people coz the time we have wasted sendind long pms and we send our number out to find the fakes so mdr2006 you would run a mile if some1 sent they number to you how do you get to meet people?.and the people we have meet got back to us by phone and our wind says juut have a look at our profile then people send back a wink dont understand that 1?.and if some1 asks you something do you just walk away thats why we think it is rude a pm yes or no dont take long to we are new to the forum and it is a good thing but we are on here to make friends and meet people just like last week we saw a post on here sent a pm and that was a thur and we meet the person on a saturday?
Quote by pamchris
we wink people coz the time we have wasted sendind long pms and we send our number out to find the fakes so mdr2006 you would run a mile if some1 sent they number to you how do you get to meet people?.and the people we have meet got back to us by phone and our wind says juut have a look at our profile then people send back a wink dont understand that 1?.and if some1 asks you something do you just walk away thats why we think it is rude a pm yes or no dont take long to we are new to the forum and it is a good thing but we are on here to make friends and meet people just like last week we saw a post on here sent a pm and that was a thur and we meet the person on a saturday?
i agree with mdr2000......if someone has sent their mobile in the first pm.....it just sounds desperate.........if we like a couple and get back to them we as least wait after a couple of e-mails until we have at least got to a meet up day set then we swap mobile numbers...just so that the women can confirm the couples status!
the few times we have meet people is by sendind our number and we say females must ring and they have better to talk to people then send endless of the ads on here say early f/f chat 1st so thats what we do ad its not in the 1st pm we send its if they get back to us after we have pm we send our number
Quote by lysistrata
3. Some people/couples find the rejection email as some sort of communication, and therefore a chance to try and "negotiate".
I've mentioned this before, some people see any form of reply as an 'in'. I've had so many instances where just a simple thanks bit no thanks reply has led to more PMs asking Why have you said no? How about…? Have you considered….? Can we just meet for a chat? etc etc, for me personally I am reluctant to respond if I am uninterested.
Quote by Kiss
3. Some people/couples find the rejection email as some sort of communication, and therefore a chance to try and "negotiate".
I've mentioned this before, some people see any form of reply as an 'in'. I've had so many instances where just a simple thanks bit no thanks reply has led to more PMs asking Why have you said no? How about…? Have you considered….? Can we just meet for a chat? etc etc, for me personally I am reluctant to respond if I am uninterested.
as the old saying goes......"if she says no.....she really means yes".......i think its just safer then to just blank them!
we have had that we send a no thank you to people we didnt like or for what ever reason and if the keep sendind pms we blank think it is rude to just blank people sorry thats the way we have been brought up no need to be rude to people what ever the reason and not on here as we are on here for fun
Quote by pamchris
we have had that we send a no thank you to people we didnt like or for what ever reason and if the keep sendind pms we blank think it is rude to just blank people sorry thats the way we have been brought up no need to be rude to people what ever the reason and not on here as we are on here for fun
So are you saying that my behaviour is rude?
Quote by pamchris
ever1 on here has a way of doing things you do it your way and we will do and think our way sorry if you think we are being nasty but we are saying what we think
I didn't think you were being nasty per-se. It was just this particular comment:
Quote by pamchris
....sorry thats the way we have been brought up....
And what you are implying.
You are asking for feedback on your predicament, yet you are insulting those that choose to give it because it's not what you want to hear or doesn't fit with your particular way of doing things.
Maybe it would be more constructive for you both to try to understand or maybe even accept why some people will not reply to your PM's, then you can focus on what does work for you.
Quote by pamchris
we have had that we send a no thank you to people we didnt like or for what ever reason and if the keep sendind pms we blank think it is rude to just blank people sorry thats the way we have been brought up no need to be rude to people what ever the reason and not on here as we are on here for fun
Actually, blanking them in the first place is probably the least line of resistance and saves you having to be rude in the end by blanking them...
We're all grown up people and should be "life" experienced enough to handle rejection.
Sit back, have fun and relax :thumbup:Quote by pamchris
thanks for all your posts and we will take on board everthing you have said we are still new to forum and if we have offeded anybody sorry been good to get feed backwe learn new things every day x chris and pam
I don't think you will have offended anyone by this thread to be honest. Best of luck with your endeavours... perhaps we'll see you in the chatrooms?
Sex God
Quote by pamchris
ever1 on here has a way of doing things you do it your way and we will do and think our way sorry if you think we are being nasty but we are saying what we think
absolutly nothing wrong with doing things your way at all...but then if that is the case then don't be suprised if everyone doesn't want to go at the brakeneck speed that you do.....
please remember that where you have you way of doing things... others will have there's and it they don't happen to be compatible then so be it...
some people like to get to know people a little bit slower, like to get to know people before making a decision about meeting people.... you may see that as your time being wasted, others will see that a maiking 101% sure they want to meet people....
back to the "wink" thing..... to say that not everyone likes them would be an understatement.... some people will just delete them would looking.... others have on the autoresponder to the winks
for me, for example.... before i had on the auto responder, i got a few winks... i said that i was flattered but could you write someone that says something about you.....and got a lot of abuse about it....
I know that certain single women on here were bombarded by hundreds of winks, saying exactly the same thing.... do you expect them to answer every one of them.... just curious
welcome to the forums by the way......
sean xxxxx
Hi welcome to the forums,
there are lots of valid points already been made.
Ive had the people who have lived miles from me and when ive said ty but you live to far they have tried to convince me its not a problem.
Ive had people who im not attracted to, and when ive politely stated this they have been very abusive in their replies
Ive had people who will send winks and i wont even know about it now as i have set my profile so i dont get them.
Ive told people im not looking for anything right now, to be told i just havent found the right person , or what the f**k am i on a sex site for then.
so you get the picture, sometimes yes i will just ignore some pms as i dont have a ad so i feel i am not under any obligation to reply. respect is earnt, one liners saying send me some pics is not respectfull so i do not reply.
not all profiles are a invitation to pm, if i was actually looking for sex and for a certain thing then i would place a add, get to know people via forums, munches, socials or chat rooms.
xxxxxxxxxx fem xxxxxxx
there are lots of valid points already been made.
Ive had the people who have lived miles from me and when ive said ty but you live to far they have tried to convince me its not a problem.
Ive had people who im not attracted to, and when ive politely stated this they have been very abusive in their replies
Ive had people who will send winks and i wont even know about it now as i have set my profile so i dont get them.
Ive told people im not looking for anything right now, to be told i just havent found the right person , or what the f**k am i on a sex site for then.
so you get the picture, sometimes yes i will just ignore some pms as i dont have a ad so i feel i am not under any obligation to reply. respect is earnt, one liners saying send me some pics is not respectfull so i do not reply.
not all profiles are a invitation to pm, if i was actually looking for sex and for a certain thing then i would place a add, get to know people via forums, munches, socials or chat rooms.
xxxxxxxxxx fem xxxxxxx
Your main complaint seems to be that people are not responding to you after you have sent them a wink,(the pitfalls of doing this have already been explained),or initially you said that you spent ages PM'ing someone only to receive no response.
There are two things I would say,if people don't respond to your ad,don't take it personally!!...if people don't respond,that is their wish and that should be respected at all times,even if we don't like it!!.that is the first thing,and the second thing is if you genuinely feel that you should be getting more replies then I would say look at your advert,(or ask others to) and take their comments on board,these forums are filled with helpful tips and friendly advice and people are only too willing to help.
Lets assume for one minute that everyone who you wink actually reads your is the text from your profile;
....."Enter your profile text in here...we are free most weekends pam will only talk to females after we give you her number and she will answer the phone we wink people but has soon as you email us back you will get email are genuine and are just looking for fun pam loves women and she as meet woman on her after i have watched her with that person i sometimes join in that would be down to woman or could we hope to meet of are on here to meet people thats why we are on here we go to partys pam as been a star at some of these partys call me bigheaded but she is so horny take any size cock down her throat and eats pussy for hours so if you like our profile email us NO FUCK BUDDIES SORRY YOU MUST LIVE TOGETHER"
Your advert can actually come across in two ways,one is from an enthusiastic,horny,genuine couple who are raring to go on the swinging scene and who know what they want..they other way that your advert comes across is that it is from a couple who know what they want,are going to get what they want,because if you want fun with them you are going to do as you are told and your needs come can be read as being dogmatic and inflexible.
I am sure the former is true and not the latter,and just a re-jig of words would say the same thing in just a softer tone.I can understand why you have written the ad in the tone you have,as you want to keep timewasters and wannabees away,but that could also be driving away the genuine people as well.
You make it clear in your profile that you will wink people but they must send you an email THEN you will spend time writing to them.....that doesn't really show people that you have a lot of interest in them,or can be bothered with them and as first impressions count for everything ,if you come across as not bothering with them then they will not bother with you
.You also make it clear that Pam likes girl on girl fun only,but you will only allow it after you have watched and got your kicks...a lot of couples will find that a turn off,you could say exactly the same thing by putting,...."....Pam is very bi,and after our initial meet she would be happy to meet for girl on girl fun!".....it just has a softer tone,thats all.
I also think that you are looking to have fun with ordinary,decent everyday folk,and putting in your advert that you sometimes 'star' at swingers parties will make a lot of people run a mile...perhaps a bit to much information for an initial contact?
I think if you give your profile and your ads a softer tone you would get far more responses,and that the few extra timewasters you pick up because of that would be well worth it.
Anyway,I wish you luck and hope you have all the fun you can handle,and please note that this was written with the best of intentions...
There are two things I would say,if people don't respond to your ad,don't take it personally!!...if people don't respond,that is their wish and that should be respected at all times,even if we don't like it!!.that is the first thing,and the second thing is if you genuinely feel that you should be getting more replies then I would say look at your advert,(or ask others to) and take their comments on board,these forums are filled with helpful tips and friendly advice and people are only too willing to help.
Lets assume for one minute that everyone who you wink actually reads your is the text from your profile;
....."Enter your profile text in here...we are free most weekends pam will only talk to females after we give you her number and she will answer the phone we wink people but has soon as you email us back you will get email are genuine and are just looking for fun pam loves women and she as meet woman on her after i have watched her with that person i sometimes join in that would be down to woman or could we hope to meet of are on here to meet people thats why we are on here we go to partys pam as been a star at some of these partys call me bigheaded but she is so horny take any size cock down her throat and eats pussy for hours so if you like our profile email us NO FUCK BUDDIES SORRY YOU MUST LIVE TOGETHER"
Your advert can actually come across in two ways,one is from an enthusiastic,horny,genuine couple who are raring to go on the swinging scene and who know what they want..they other way that your advert comes across is that it is from a couple who know what they want,are going to get what they want,because if you want fun with them you are going to do as you are told and your needs come can be read as being dogmatic and inflexible.
I am sure the former is true and not the latter,and just a re-jig of words would say the same thing in just a softer tone.I can understand why you have written the ad in the tone you have,as you want to keep timewasters and wannabees away,but that could also be driving away the genuine people as well.
You make it clear in your profile that you will wink people but they must send you an email THEN you will spend time writing to them.....that doesn't really show people that you have a lot of interest in them,or can be bothered with them and as first impressions count for everything ,if you come across as not bothering with them then they will not bother with you
.You also make it clear that Pam likes girl on girl fun only,but you will only allow it after you have watched and got your kicks...a lot of couples will find that a turn off,you could say exactly the same thing by putting,...."....Pam is very bi,and after our initial meet she would be happy to meet for girl on girl fun!".....it just has a softer tone,thats all.
I also think that you are looking to have fun with ordinary,decent everyday folk,and putting in your advert that you sometimes 'star' at swingers parties will make a lot of people run a mile...perhaps a bit to much information for an initial contact?
I think if you give your profile and your ads a softer tone you would get far more responses,and that the few extra timewasters you pick up because of that would be well worth it.
Anyway,I wish you luck and hope you have all the fun you can handle,and please note that this was written with the best of intentions...
The main reason we don't reply to messages is because a lot of people send winks or a one line message without even reading our profile. We make it very clear what we are and what we are looking for and because of the amount of people who message us who are not what we are looking for we have had to put statements in bold on our profile and have had to say that we don't answer people who don't read our profile.
Lots of people have the same problem and thats why many don't respond to 'winks' and one liners.
So please take the time to read what people have taken the time to type into their profiles and you may get an answer
Lots of people have the same problem and thats why many don't respond to 'winks' and one liners.
So please take the time to read what people have taken the time to type into their profiles and you may get an answer
I always look at a person's profile if i get a pm or wink. If there is next to nothing there, I ignore it.
Also, I am quite specific in my profile as to what I am looking for so if someone obviously hasn't read all my profile or chosen to ignore it, I do the same.
I do answer quite a lot of pm's though but if I answered them all (especially after a new ad or update), I would have no time to do anything else!
Also, I am quite specific in my profile as to what I am looking for so if someone obviously hasn't read all my profile or chosen to ignore it, I do the same.
I do answer quite a lot of pm's though but if I answered them all (especially after a new ad or update), I would have no time to do anything else!
