Sex God
Well ranted Neil. :cheers:
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What does swinging mean to you?
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Sex God
guys thanks for the comments! 
i don't often really blow my top like that ((( stop sniggering at the back, i don't! not any more!
))) but that was the single most offensive, most scathing, most ill considered, most biggotted post i have *EVER* seen! and i read a lot of threads! well done on it anyways marcus and mich! and many thanks!
and here i will gracefully withdraw from this thread, and move on . . . . ;)
n x x x x
i don't often really blow my top like that ((( stop sniggering at the back, i don't! not any more!
))) but that was the single most offensive, most scathing, most ill considered, most biggotted post i have *EVER* seen! and i read a lot of threads! well done on it anyways marcus and mich! and many thanks! and here i will gracefully withdraw from this thread, and move on . . . . ;)
n x x x x
Quote by Ice Pie
this point we find fascinating. Firstly, the sexual eroticism of seeing each other sexually aroused and pleasured with another person/persons only developed with our relationship developing over time. I.e at first we were only interested in 'shagging' each other like rabbits and the idea of ever having other people touching or playing with our loved one would probably have brought about pangs of anger and jealousy, not arousal and immense pleasure.
our point stems from this: We just don't understand how (though we do understand why!) single guys sort of lurk around this site claiming to be swingers. We realise everyone's different, but to us the mutual satisfaction in indulging this sexual desire comes from the pleasure we gain in seeing each other so fulfilled. To us, reaching that point in a strong relationship could only come over a period of time as it's actually based on a deep love and emotional attachment, even if it is all about 'raw' sexual lust and enjoyment. Our point is how can a single guy actually get that and why are the ones lurking around here not just out in the real world looking to 'get laid' or find a girl instead of acting all sad and desperate on this site. It seems a little pathetic to us. It's like wanting a car before you've got a driving license. Sure, enjoy the fantasy of the car, but get the fucking license!
we think it's a little different for single women, simply because we (and again its just our opinion) think women can enjoy a greater depth of sexual freedom when they're not being bothered by a bunch of desperate male fuckwits. It would seem more 'honest' when a single woman ventures inside a swinging domain.
not that we don't see the benefit of utilisin eager young men for our pleasure, we just don't think they get at all what the true wonder of this indulgnece is.
that's about it really, oh and there does seem to be a load of desperate single guys just sort of hanging around hoping to fall onto a 'lay' in here. Guys maybe you should think about going out somewhere and trying to find girflfriends, that way you might actually learn something.
I'm only quoting this in case anyone missed it. I just want everyone to see that single males don't have the monopoly on being fuckwits.
Good grief - I should have spent more time catching up! No! No! No! How many times do I have to come to the rescue of the single guys.
They are courteous, caring and unbelievably sexy. Guys you meet normally are prone to say - 'Sorry - I just don't do oral.' Show me the SH guy who doesn't do oral and I'll show you a journalist. Or worse - a complacent married man.
They stay in touch - they support you.
Quite frankly, I can't get enough of them.
Jezzay.
You know, I started this thread and I've been so busy I've not had a chance to get back to it. But I shall in due course read all the pages - promise! 
I did have a chance to read Neil's wonderful defence of the attack on single males...
for Neil.
Sadly, it only takes one or two single male dickheads to do their stuff and ALL single males get tarred with the same brush. That simply isn't fair! I've met some wonderful, thoughtful single males who are single BY CHOICE and good luck to them!
It is odd, is it not, that in some parts a 30 something single woman is deemed to be concentrating on her career, and a 30 something single guy is a loser who can't pull... Odd world we live in.
Anyroad, I'm off to track back and reread and see if any of this helps me with my own thoughts...
Hxx
I did have a chance to read Neil's wonderful defence of the attack on single males...
for Neil.Sadly, it only takes one or two single male dickheads to do their stuff and ALL single males get tarred with the same brush. That simply isn't fair! I've met some wonderful, thoughtful single males who are single BY CHOICE and good luck to them!
It is odd, is it not, that in some parts a 30 something single woman is deemed to be concentrating on her career, and a 30 something single guy is a loser who can't pull... Odd world we live in.
Anyroad, I'm off to track back and reread and see if any of this helps me with my own thoughts...
Hxx
Sexpert
I find it very difficult to contribute in a concise manner to such a subjective issue. Every definite opinion I attempt to make peters out halfway through as I realise I ought to consider the otherside of the arguement, until the end of my sentence ends up contradicting the start. 
"If I had had to do what Lenin did in 1917 I would have said, "Um, I suppose we could possibly perhaps seize control of the workers?...as it were?...sort of on their behalf?...is that a good idea??? On the other hand perhaps we ought to just run that idea past the mensheviks- we dont want to upset anyone. Best stay here then I suppose,yes. ( TM John O`Farrell 1998)
To us swinging does not have a standard set of rigid rules. (We have our own rules however.) It does NOT have to involve having sex with someone, whether single, couple, cheating, approved etc. To us swinging isnt an action as such, it is an ATTITUDE.
For example if we chose to make love whilst lay next to a couple, then that to us constitutes swinging. However I believe that Neilinleeds plying a willing lass from Leeds with booze and his unique brand of humour in the local Zanzibar before bedding her does NOT constitute swinging in the slightest. Inversely Neils invite (sorry to put you in the focus Neil, you just seemed to be the best prop for my ramblings ) to Blue and satins party...and all that went on that night is most DEFINITELY swinging, regardless of his status (i.e couple, single male etc)
I believe single males can swing but do have the HUGE task of having to overcome the reputation of single males who do exist in abundance, who want the perceived quick lay (not in the spirit of swinging)
In further defence to the single male we have found and observed that the majority of timewasters/fakes/dreamers are MALES,whether single, split up or attached. Todays attached male could be tomorrows single male and todays single male could be tomorrows attached male, therefore couples have no right to pedestal themselves for honesty and genuity. Eitherway most of our problems have arisen due to the inability to think above their atanomical equator....for instance, kopping a load of me missuz pics, running away for days/weeks with the idea of a passionate 48 hour free for all ....THEN on the big night deciding to take the next essential step of informing his wife/girlfriend of his ad on one of "them swingerers site"
In summary we apologise for the male bashing (we`re sure there are female timewasters too...Ive certainly heard many unpleasant tales) we have tried to at least bring the stock of the single male UP to the level of the male within the couple.
Hopefully we have attempted to address Heathers question and the hi jacked aspect of the thread.
Foxys x
p.s please keep a look out for thewholesale hashing and re-writing of this post
"If I had had to do what Lenin did in 1917 I would have said, "Um, I suppose we could possibly perhaps seize control of the workers?...as it were?...sort of on their behalf?...is that a good idea??? On the other hand perhaps we ought to just run that idea past the mensheviks- we dont want to upset anyone. Best stay here then I suppose,yes. ( TM John O`Farrell 1998)To us swinging does not have a standard set of rigid rules. (We have our own rules however.) It does NOT have to involve having sex with someone, whether single, couple, cheating, approved etc. To us swinging isnt an action as such, it is an ATTITUDE.
For example if we chose to make love whilst lay next to a couple, then that to us constitutes swinging. However I believe that Neilinleeds plying a willing lass from Leeds with booze and his unique brand of humour in the local Zanzibar before bedding her does NOT constitute swinging in the slightest. Inversely Neils invite (sorry to put you in the focus Neil, you just seemed to be the best prop for my ramblings
) to Blue and satins party...and all that went on that night is most DEFINITELY swinging, regardless of his status (i.e couple, single male etc)I believe single males can swing but do have the HUGE task of having to overcome the reputation of single males who do exist in abundance, who want the perceived quick lay (not in the spirit of swinging)
In further defence to the single male we have found and observed that the majority of timewasters/fakes/dreamers are MALES,whether single, split up or attached. Todays attached male could be tomorrows single male and todays single male could be tomorrows attached male, therefore couples have no right to pedestal themselves for honesty and genuity. Eitherway most of our problems have arisen due to the inability to think above their atanomical equator....for instance, kopping a load of me missuz pics, running away for days/weeks with the idea of a passionate 48 hour free for all ....THEN on the big night deciding to take the next essential step of informing his wife/girlfriend of his ad on one of "them swingerers site"
In summary we apologise for the male bashing (we`re sure there are female timewasters too...Ive certainly heard many unpleasant tales) we have tried to at least bring the stock of the single male UP to the level of the male within the couple.Hopefully we have attempted to address Heathers question and the hi jacked aspect of the thread.
Foxys x
p.s please keep a look out for thewholesale hashing and re-writing of this post
Quote by foxy30s_cpl
.......... we have tried to at least bring the stock of the single male UP to the level of the male within the couple.
Please let me be the first to bow in deference to all of the males on the site that are in a couple. I am not worthy, I am of lower stock.
Hard to completely bury an attitude isn't it?
Steve
Single guys are as important to us as couples in the swinging world – to think of them of some sort of lower species would be total hypocracy on our behalf, afterall we have actively seeked them out and when found have had a great call them sad and/or desperate is far off the mark. Perhaps we are – we advertise for them on here!
Some single males are timewasters, dreamers etc. but so are some couples and probably single females, but you either make a wide ranging decision to ignore all of a certain group or be patient and find the genuine ones.
I have questioned statements regarding friendship in swinging and the tactics employed by single guys but these, I feel, are legitimate and non offensive in this type of debate. A few people have got upset by perhaps the incinuation that it implies they are not honest in their views but they have been genuine questions.
Unfortunately, Marcus & Mich stupidly decided to label all single guys as the same in a totally uninformed way. Not sure what they thought they were bringing to the debate but they certainly made it interesting!!
Some single males are timewasters, dreamers etc. but so are some couples and probably single females, but you either make a wide ranging decision to ignore all of a certain group or be patient and find the genuine ones.
I have questioned statements regarding friendship in swinging and the tactics employed by single guys but these, I feel, are legitimate and non offensive in this type of debate. A few people have got upset by perhaps the incinuation that it implies they are not honest in their views but they have been genuine questions.
Unfortunately, Marcus & Mich stupidly decided to label all single guys as the same in a totally uninformed way. Not sure what they thought they were bringing to the debate but they certainly made it interesting!!
OK - two posts then - then I really MUST go! - Long explanation needed first - we were contributors here, and now we are not.
Swinging to us was about exploring our relationship. We questioned all our assumptions, challenged all our preconceptions, moved all our goal posts. Individually, we decided what we wanted. Together, we decided what to do about it.
Along the way, we met some fabulous, diverse people. We opened our minds and our hearts to them, and allowed ourselves to learn from them.
It matters little that in the end, we decided not to swing. Sometimes, it really is the journey, and not the final destination that matters.
LHK
x
P.S. Did I mention we also had a bloody good time?
Swinging to us was about exploring our relationship. We questioned all our assumptions, challenged all our preconceptions, moved all our goal posts. Individually, we decided what we wanted. Together, we decided what to do about it.
Along the way, we met some fabulous, diverse people. We opened our minds and our hearts to them, and allowed ourselves to learn from them.
It matters little that in the end, we decided not to swing. Sometimes, it really is the journey, and not the final destination that matters.
LHK
x
P.S. Did I mention we also had a bloody good time?
Quote by Libra-Love
Actually, Libra - What are 'YOU' doing this weekend...?????
Dxxx
Well there is this h'ween party happening in Surrey....(
Oh really.?
Sounds fun. :twisted: :twisted:
Do you have any more details????? :wink:
Dxxx
Yeah, it's relocating to my house :evil2:
I hope you have plenty of room..!!! :wink:
Dxxx
well we're certainly glad we metioned our thoughts on that one!
Firstly, and please, this is absolutely sincere, we do apologise to the perfectly decent, polite and clearly very well mannered guys on this site who we have obviously offended. Sorry, we haven't read all the responses, but clearly it offended many of you and we are sorry for that.
Secondly, we now realise the acutely dangerous act of stating something that, we admit, was based quite firmly on a steroetype and some personal experience with time wasters etc. We're sure there are lots of lovely guys on here and our grievance was certainly not aimed at such persons. Another member personally messaged us and we endeavoured to explain that to her also though she's probably still orbiting the moon at this moment.
However the point does have relevance, even if it's a touchy subject to some (or everyone else on the site).
we won't anticipate any party invites in the future.
oh and whoever it was that asked if we wanted to fuck him, erm no thanks, but thanks for asking.
we're actually very nice people. no, really, we are.
Firstly, and please, this is absolutely sincere, we do apologise to the perfectly decent, polite and clearly very well mannered guys on this site who we have obviously offended. Sorry, we haven't read all the responses, but clearly it offended many of you and we are sorry for that.
Secondly, we now realise the acutely dangerous act of stating something that, we admit, was based quite firmly on a steroetype and some personal experience with time wasters etc. We're sure there are lots of lovely guys on here and our grievance was certainly not aimed at such persons. Another member personally messaged us and we endeavoured to explain that to her also though she's probably still orbiting the moon at this moment.
However the point does have relevance, even if it's a touchy subject to some (or everyone else on the site).
we won't anticipate any party invites in the future.
oh and whoever it was that asked if we wanted to fuck him, erm no thanks, but thanks for asking.
we're actually very nice people. no, really, we are.
Hiyas peeps,
Well when I first came onto this site I was married but very lonely. xx
The marriage wasn't all it cracked up to be. ( this being my second marriage lol). xx
I was looking for friends and people to talk to. xx
I found it a way of being my true self believe it or not. xx
I started slowly meeting the odd male and found it great fun, not just shagging fun but talking to them. xx
I soon became ''well known'' within the chatroom. xx
I found the munches and parties were such a good way of meeting people face to face as well as shagging some of them of course xx lol.
I think the most important thing I have found was the friendship side of things. xx
When I was in hospital for a while early summer the amount of messages from my mates on here and the visits etc was unbelievable it used to make me cry. xx
There is obviously the sex side of things which is also great. xx
I now have met a fantastic guy from this site (I wasn't looking for a full time relasionship at the time either). xx
We do not swing at present because we want to develop our relationship and due to my poor health. xx
This site has let me be my true self not someone that other people want me to be. xx
So lets continue swinging on this great site xx
:hump: 
assionkiss: :hump: :passionkiss:
Well when I first came onto this site I was married but very lonely. xx
The marriage wasn't all it cracked up to be. ( this being my second marriage lol). xx
I was looking for friends and people to talk to. xx
I found it a way of being my true self believe it or not. xx
I started slowly meeting the odd male and found it great fun, not just shagging fun but talking to them. xx
I soon became ''well known'' within the chatroom. xx
I found the munches and parties were such a good way of meeting people face to face as well as shagging some of them of course xx lol.
I think the most important thing I have found was the friendship side of things. xx
When I was in hospital for a while early summer the amount of messages from my mates on here and the visits etc was unbelievable it used to make me cry. xx
There is obviously the sex side of things which is also great. xx
I now have met a fantastic guy from this site (I wasn't looking for a full time relasionship at the time either). xx
We do not swing at present because we want to develop our relationship and due to my poor health. xx
This site has let me be my true self not someone that other people want me to be. xx
So lets continue swinging on this great site xx
:hump: assionkiss: :hump: :passionkiss: As I am new to the scene it was mainly curiosity and a desire to fulfil some of my innermost fantasies that tempted me in. I meet guys for casual sex on a regular basis, I have needs and I have found a good way of meeting decent people without the risks of 'pulling' in a nightclub in a drunken haze. I have time to think about whether I want to meet a particular person, time to chat to them online for a while and get to know them a little. We can chat beforehand about what we both want/ don't want from an experience and if we agree on the same sort of things then it's a goer!
As for swinging, I have long had fantasies about sex with women/ sex with more than one man/ group sex and now that I am divorced and single I feel this is the time to start discovering more about myself and my sexuality. I have been pretty repressed and as a result had very low confidence but my experiences recently have started to help me realise that I am what I want to be, a sensual, sexy woman!
There is a lot more respect I have found for women in the scene as well. In a vanilla club it feels like a cattle market where only the prettiest and slimmest girls 'win' the mens attention and only the fit blokes get to pull a bird! The liberation in the swinging world for women is amazing, the respect from the men I have met is like a breath of fresh air. I can call the shots, I can choose what I want to do without fear of being pushed into anything. Even when everyone at the party I went to were well oiled with alcohol they still told me that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do and I felt protected and safe. I was confident enough to insist on condoms and to say what I didn't want to do without being pressured. Body size and shape are virtually unimportant as the people there just want the same thing, to share an erotic and pleasurable time with each other and hey wow! big girls (and boys!) can do sexy things too!
As for swinging, I have long had fantasies about sex with women/ sex with more than one man/ group sex and now that I am divorced and single I feel this is the time to start discovering more about myself and my sexuality. I have been pretty repressed and as a result had very low confidence but my experiences recently have started to help me realise that I am what I want to be, a sensual, sexy woman!
There is a lot more respect I have found for women in the scene as well. In a vanilla club it feels like a cattle market where only the prettiest and slimmest girls 'win' the mens attention and only the fit blokes get to pull a bird! The liberation in the swinging world for women is amazing, the respect from the men I have met is like a breath of fresh air. I can call the shots, I can choose what I want to do without fear of being pushed into anything. Even when everyone at the party I went to were well oiled with alcohol they still told me that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do and I felt protected and safe. I was confident enough to insist on condoms and to say what I didn't want to do without being pressured. Body size and shape are virtually unimportant as the people there just want the same thing, to share an erotic and pleasurable time with each other and hey wow! big girls (and boys!) can do sexy things too!
I bought my first contact mag in 1979 - called Sexmates, put my first ad in Aquarius in 1981 got two replies, one from a girl my age who was lodging with a couple, then went home to Derby before I could meet, met the couple though, nothing much happened, drank too much vodka, fell asleep, never went to work the next day. Left still a virgin.... 
Joined two drama groups at the end of `81, women out numbered men by 3 to 1, after 18 months fell for a gorgeous girl & was with her for almost year, never shagged....she was scared (virgin), and also gay (after we broke up she came out)...never put an ad in during my time with her, as I was in love, her feelings paramount, parted company great friends (though have`t seen her for 15 years)....parted still a virgin..... :cry:
I heard later that once I started swinging, she swung with her girlfriend, as when she found out that I did it, she was extremely curious, and eventually succumbed (dammit).
In 1983 put an ad in Rendezvous, one reply, met a woman in darkest Sussex, and her first words when we sat on the sofa was - "Do you mind if my husband joins us"......No I didn`t....we shagged all night, (I lost my virginity in a threesome)...... :D :D ......aged 27, yes folks that`s 27. P 
Met the same couple every six weeks for over a year...fantastic times.....!!
Moral of this tale - I have swung ever since - I`m still single though, have not met a woman in the Vanilla World as people call it who has the same sexual outlook, tastes and
opinions, I have had girlfriends and when the subject is mentioned when they ask, I tell them, and invariably after a few days, or weeks, (one got up there and then.. :cry: ), they drifted away, most were very hostile.
I have come to the opinion that swingers and those in this forum especially are the most open of people, I hope to one day meet some of you, and indeed meet a woman or couple who would wish to share an evening or night :twisted: :twisted: though as a single male iin the swinging community it isn`t easy, but patience is a virtue, and with my sexual outlook & honesty I think being amongst like minded people will eventually pay off .
I have friends in the real world, some who know I swing and think it`s odd I have to, some I would never telll as I would lose their friendship or they would think I was after them (that experience has happened)..as would you believe it most of my friends are women. You never can tell though, you may bump into the person of your dreams anywhere...tho` I think it`s more likely with like-miinded people...
I also lilke sex, ESPECIALLY GIVING ORAL (HINT.... :twisted: :twisted: ), even though I last had any contact with anyone sexually -----wait for it......
in November 1997........ 
ops:
I am patient aren`t I.......I
Joined two drama groups at the end of `81, women out numbered men by 3 to 1, after 18 months fell for a gorgeous girl & was with her for almost year, never shagged....she was scared (virgin), and also gay (after we broke up she came out)...never put an ad in during my time with her, as I was in love, her feelings paramount, parted company great friends (though have`t seen her for 15 years)....parted still a virgin..... :cry:
I heard later that once I started swinging, she swung with her girlfriend, as when she found out that I did it, she was extremely curious, and eventually succumbed (dammit).
In 1983 put an ad in Rendezvous, one reply, met a woman in darkest Sussex, and her first words when we sat on the sofa was - "Do you mind if my husband joins us"......No I didn`t....we shagged all night, (I lost my virginity in a threesome)......
:D :D ......aged 27, yes folks that`s 27. P Met the same couple every six weeks for over a year...fantastic times.....!!Moral of this tale - I have swung ever since - I`m still single though, have not met a woman in the Vanilla World as people call it who has the same sexual outlook, tastes and
opinions, I have had girlfriends and when the subject is mentioned when they ask, I tell them, and invariably after a few days, or weeks, (one got up there and then.. :cry: ), they drifted away, most were very hostile.
I have come to the opinion that swingers and those in this forum especially are the most open of people, I hope to one day meet some of you, and indeed meet a woman or couple who would wish to share an evening or night :twisted: :twisted: though as a single male iin the swinging community it isn`t easy, but patience is a virtue, and with my sexual outlook & honesty I think being amongst like minded people will eventually pay off .
I have friends in the real world, some who know I swing and think it`s odd I have to, some I would never telll as I would lose their friendship or they would think I was after them (that experience has happened)..as would you believe it most of my friends are women. You never can tell though, you may bump into the person of your dreams anywhere...tho` I think it`s more likely with like-miinded people...
I also lilke sex, ESPECIALLY GIVING ORAL (HINT.... :twisted: :twisted: ), even though I last had any contact with anyone sexually -----wait for it......
in November 1997........
ops: I am patient aren`t I.......I
Quote by BlackCat Babe
It's a chance to meet like minded people. You know that anybody you do meet has a healthy sexual appetite.
Unlike my recently ex partner................it was only after being with him a year and a half I realised that his idea of a healthy sex life was once a fortnight
:roll: :roll: :roll: Tutututut FFS really ...that often!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by marcus and mich
well we're certainly glad we metioned our thoughts on that one!
Firstly, and please, this is absolutely sincere, we do apologise to the perfectly decent, polite and clearly very well mannered guys on this site who we have obviously offended. Sorry, we haven't read all the responses, but clearly it offended many of you and we are sorry for that.
Secondly, we now realise the acutely dangerous act of stating something that, we admit, was based quite firmly on a steroetype and some personal experience with time wasters etc. We're sure there are lots of lovely guys on here and our grievance was certainly not aimed at such persons. Another member personally messaged us and we endeavoured to explain that to her also though she's probably still orbiting the moon at this moment.
However the point does have relevance, even if it's a touchy subject to some (or everyone else on the site).
we won't anticipate any party invites in the future.
oh and whoever it was that asked if we wanted to fuck him, erm no thanks, but thanks for asking.
we're actually very nice people. no, really, we are.
Being the kind of person i am, thankyou and apology accepted.
Quote by marcus and mich
oh and whoever it was that asked if we wanted to fuck him, erm no thanks, but thanks for asking.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: that is really funny! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:Quote by marcus and mich
we're actually very nice people. no, really, we are.
if you want to,
get to know me and you will see that i and alot of the other single peeps in here are nice too. :D Right lets all have fun !!!
