As a person that has sent an unwanted message on here and received a blistering reply as in the what ( if anything ) post.
I wil consider more before sending out randomly my cut n paste request for meets, I generally have a good laugh whilst on line and never cause offence, so I hope I'm forgiven for my inconsiderate manner.
Pics to be loaded to my profile from the fun meets I'm having also.
I enjoy this site and do not want to lose out on good friendships and fun orientated people.
People may not always use the correct etiquette, does not mean they are dickheads either., I've apologised now.
Bests
Good for you for acknowledging mistakes. Do remember though that many couples get inundated by PMs from single males who are clearly not what they are looking for and this is extremely irritating for a lot of genuine couples.
Hi Toots
Yes, we have blocked all single males in the past and then forgot to switch off the block on a rare occasion when we advertised for single males...!
So should the onus be on us to keep remembering to switch on and off as necessary... or on folk generally (including single males) to read and respect?
"That is the question..."
Hmmm Magik, which of your two contradictory statements do you stand by? That it's fine to contact people "despite stating they do not want contact from certain 'types'" or that "sending a PM when a profile specifically states that they do not want said PM" is not great behaviour?
The idea that no maybe doesn't mean no is a worrying notion to promote... If someone doesn't get "No" in writing, they're clearly not going to respect personal boundaries when up-close-and-personal. Others may be willing to compromise their safety by meeting such folk - we never will.
I didn't think that any statement particularly contradicted the other. I clearly differentiated between sending just an uninvited PM, from an uninvited PM where a profile actually denotes that one is not welcome. Contradiction? Hardly.
As for 'No not meaning no', well.. a bit melodramatic.. but you're entitled to your opinion.
It can work both ways, for example I make it quite clear that I am seeking a woman's involvement in anything that may happen but I've just had yet another exchange of messages with a couple thats ended up with the guy asking me if I wish to meet him one to one for "a wanking session". I don't mind any openly bi approach, it'll politely declined by me, but I've had too many 'couples' where it suddenly turns into him wanting to meet one to one or have phone sex. I try to only approach those who ask for single males but some have it on their profile that they do want to meet us then say they don't want to meet single males? I think we just need to respect each other and avoid making any unwanted approaches as best we can.
Think this is a bit of a minefield really. And I guess a lot depends on what you're after from here. If its purely sex then your attitude may be slightly different to someone who enjoys the social side of things and building some kind of friendship/"relationship" with the people you encounter.
An uninvited message can be an interesting, funny, exciting, enticing start to something if you let it. Equally it may be very dull, or on occasion also, quite offensive. I do admit to taking everything that comes our way on its own merits, invited or otherwise, maybe thats just me.
As in life, you have to be fairly thick skinned and laid back at the same time, taking on some of the responsibility for what you do and don't want. There are facilities that are fairly good at weeding out some of the things you may not want such as; information on your profile, the ability to prevent certain groups of people being able to message you, or blocking someone from viewing and contacting you. But as in life in general its not always perfect.
I would like to add its not always only single males who are guilty of this. Our profile does state we don't accept a random friend request. Not something I do walking down the street, why would I do it here, but we get them, from couples who obviously haven't read our profile. But, if their profile sounds like they may be interesting people, I will try and engage them in chat and find out a bit more.
I guess what Im trying to say is, it does happen and you have 2 choices. Get yourself worked up and allow it to spoil what you've got going on. Or, ignore it, delete it, block them, laugh about it happening, again!, and move on to something you do want.
I politely hit the *reply no* button
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