Many of you may already be aware of this but for those people who still need to know the way to get ahead in the company............
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
If the letters of the alphabet are represented by the numbers 1 – 26 respectively:
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And,
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
Thus, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.
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What makes 100%
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The only kissing that goes on in our place is between two bosses(one of which got sacked for it a while ago!)
So i don't think that counts,but attitude and Bullshit are definately right.
In my job you need the attitude or you'd pend the whole time depressed.
You also need the bullshit to try to sell stuff to these people!
Clare,xxx
So i don't think that counts,but attitude and Bullshit are definately right.
In my job you need the attitude or you'd pend the whole time depressed.
You also need the bullshit to try to sell stuff to these people!
Clare,xxx
Sex God
Excellent Alex 
:lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: 
Sex God
Quote by Alexandra
Many of you may already be aware of this but for those people who still need to know the way to get ahead in the company............
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
If the letters of the alphabet are represented by the numbers 1 – 26 respectively:
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And,
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
Thus, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.
Hehehe, I get 102% by F-A-K-I-N-G-I-T-A-L-L
Sex God
Quote by Alexandra
Hehehe, I get 102% for F-A-K-I-N-G-I-T-A-L-L
You FAKED it??????
Only the work dear, only the work ;)
Has this thread gone back to mal and his donkey??/ Kissing ass? I agree alexandra has got it all right. It was banded about in the late 1990's, and I used it in a few things I was into then. It always amazed me when the boss said he wanted 110%, and I used the example of pouring him a cup od water to the brim...and placing an empty cup next to it and saying to fill that with the first and to the top, but show me the extra 10%, and if YOU can I will do it, but if you cant....SOD OFF.....
Work is like this all over now...if we can do it with 5 people less, hey that is so good...? NOT for the poor sods who have to do it eh guys??
Work is like this all over now...if we can do it with 5 people less, hey that is so good...? NOT for the poor sods who have to do it eh guys??
Sex God
Shit and I've been talking BOLLOX (65%) thinking it was the right thing to do!
Sex God
Quote by Alexandra
Shit and I've been talking BOLLOX (65%) thinking it was the right thing to do!
No TE - you have been talking COMPLETE BOLLOX (154%)
So I think you can say that you have exceeded expectations!
I wanna payrise! I wanna payrise!
Quote by westerross
Shit and I've been talking BOLLOX (65%) thinking it was the right thing to do!
No TE - you have been talking COMPLETE BOLLOX (154%)
So I think you can say that you have exceeded expectations!
I wanna payrise! I wanna payrise!
Sorry TE - it seems 'A right tosser' has the edge here - next time you'll have to strive for 'complete and utter bollox'
Sex God
Quote by Alexandra
Shit and I've been talking BOLLOX (65%) thinking it was the right thing to do!
No TE - you have been talking COMPLETE BOLLOX (154%)
So I think you can say that you have exceeded expectations!
I wanna payrise! I wanna payrise!
Sorry TE - it seems 'A right tosser' has the edge here - next time you'll have to strive for 'complete and utter bollox'
No! No! I'm a "bigger tosser" (144%) than him! Hang on that's not enough. OK I'm a "right tozzer" then! (158%)
