What not to say at the supermarket checkout

14 Aug 2005

A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Oh my God" he says, are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"
"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher" :shock:

14 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

14 Aug 2005

Is that a true story?
Blimey i had a blond moment there for a second!! :shock:

14 Aug 2005

Quote by Vicky_uk
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Oh my God" he says, are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"
"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher" :shock:

Liked that a lot :giggle:

14 Aug 2005

Quote by Vicky_uk
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Oh my God" he says, are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"
"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher" :shock:

Oh wow... i could just see that one happening.... people dont stop to think about all the other people stood around them in the queue...... lol ..... they have the most personal conversations..... very loudly..... lol
equi-princess xxx

14 Aug 2005

Is this why Tesco's are about to offer DNA testing lol

14 Aug 2005

Oh shit i could just just see that happening.....
I think after i had left my shopping there and ran of..
I would move my child to another school out of embarrassment !!!!

14 Aug 2005

that was really funny.
but why oh why does she have to be leggy and blonde
lisamarie

14 Aug 2005

Good one, Vicky. I like that. lol

:lol: :lol:

14 Aug 2005

Very funny lol

It's a bit like the story of the little boy at the checkout wanting chocolate. When his Mum kept refusing, he said to her that if she didn't let him have any he would tell Nanna that he saw Mum with Dad's cock in her mouth.!!!! :twisted: Children can be sooooooo evil.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

14 Aug 2005

Oi Vicky!!
MR Debs told me that joke 2 days ago!
have you 2 been seeing each other........... NO!....oo shoot there goes me hopes biggrin

14 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
Oi Vicky!!
MR Debs told me that joke 2 days ago!
have you 2 been seeing each other........... NO!....oo shoot there goes me hopes

awwwwww Im sorry Debs confused

14 Aug 2005

Quote by Vicky_uk
Oi Vicky!!
MR Debs told me that joke 2 days ago!
have you 2 been seeing each other........... NO!....oo shoot there goes me hopes

awwwwww Im sorry Debs confused

i should bloody think so.....bend over! smackbottom

I have in stall now............ a dozen bottles of wine........ and two boxes of mixed flavored crisps!
AND MR DEBS IS STILL HERE!..... banghead

bloody hell girls!!!..............what else can i give ya....OK i will throw in a packet of fruit flavored condoms!.what! dunno

14 Aug 2005

Now if you had of offerred a box of Jaffa Cakes
but you didnt sad

14 Aug 2005

Quote by Vicky_uk
Now if you had of offerred a box of Jaffa Cakes
but you didnt

shoot!

Debs rushes off to buy 100 pkts of jaffa cakes!

14 Aug 2005

A scream Vicky - love it!

14 Aug 2005

:shock: :shock: @ Debs
Glad you liked it TE babes kiss

14 Aug 2005

lol, thats was funny. The only remotely interesting thing that happened in my local JS was when a guy walked in dressed in a mini skirt, pink stockings and a leopard print jacket... made some heads turn and Sainsburys tills pretty much stop in there tracks. Funny as hell!
Paul.

15 Aug 2005

Quote by Scoobaru
lol, thats was funny. The only remotely interesting thing that happened in my local JS was when a guy walked in dressed in a mini skirt, pink stockings and a leopard print jacket... made some heads turn and Sainsburys tills pretty much stop in there tracks. Funny as hell!
Paul.

Blue has Denise been shopping in JS recently? its the mention of pink stockings that got my attention

15 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

15 Aug 2005

i got that sent to me via e-mail this morning :shock:

15 Aug 2005

:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

15 Aug 2005

excuse me can you weigh me my plums??? lol
Mr goodtimez

15 Aug 2005

Quote by Vicky_uk
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Oh my God" he says, are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"
"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher" :shock:

Hey, I think i know that stripogram!!!