What on Earth Do I do With it?

16 Jul 2005

I'm not one for toys as a rule, but as we've not been out dogging for a while (because of my operation), I have now become the owner of a 24k gold plated and zircon diamond encrusted dildo :shock:
A friend who works in a factory where they plate these things in gold has *aquired* one for me. He thought I could find a use for it whilst I'm out of action dunno

Now the thing is, I'm not sure what to do with it confused

Do I hide it in the storage box under my bed that contains all my kinky underwear? :undecided:
Use it for it's intended purpose? Don't know how to - never had one before redface

Put it on display in the living room in a glass case? Like the Crown jewels. After all, it is gold you know lol

Or maybe use it as a new washing line pole and let the cats scratch their claws on it as they do with my present pole rolleyes

Your suggestions would be appreciated. I'm not a virgin at many things, but the art of using *toys* is something very new to me surprised

ops: :lol2:
Tracy-Jayne

16 Jul 2005

I would not try to use it, personally. Sounds a bit scratchy.
Put it in the window, like a pretty ornament.

16 Jul 2005

Pawn it and get a rampant rabbit :shock:

16 Jul 2005

:lol:
facetious comment comming up >>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
give it away as a Wedding Pressy. wink

:lol: :lol: :lol:
ps :- hehehe

16 Jul 2005

If you want to give up smoking cigars - you could use it as a surrogate.
Why's this thread in extra wide Cinemascope then?
Fred? You responsible with yer arrers?

16 Jul 2005

Broke his arrows up...
:shock:
lol

16 Jul 2005

You could, of course, use it for it's intended purpose.... that is, plant it in the garden so that the tip is approx 6 inches into a mole run and turn it on..... apparently this drives the moles mad coz they are blind and keep running into it...... they have sensitive noses you know, bit like a clit really........ eventually they get real pissed off and move off into next door's garden.
The only problem you have then is explaining to the kids why you have a vibrator sticking out of your lawn. .... hehehe

16 Jul 2005

This is truely diamonds are a girls best friend.
I always thought diamonds are for cutting hard surfaces (like concrete).
Therefore you may be able to digg a second Euro tunnel.

16 Jul 2005

Sounds like you may be able to tenderise steak with it.

16 Jul 2005

Give it to me :mrgreen: :grin:
I'll take it if you're offering wink

16 Jul 2005

Or you could use it as a doorstopper!

16 Jul 2005

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1
give it away as a Wedding Pressy.
:lol: :lol:

What would my son want with a dildo? :shock:
And I'm certainly not giving it to my future D I L - she's stolen my son, my first born, my baby sad

. . . she's not having my feckin' diamonds as well fgs!! :eeek: :grin:
How could you suggest such a thing :!:

Quote by Wishmaster
bit like a clit really........ eventually they get real pissed off and move off into next door's garden.

I'll have you know mate, my clit has *never* been in next doors garden . . . and THEY ain't having my diamonds neither evil

(it's been in plenty of other places though :twisted: )

Quote by G and H
This is truely diamonds are a girls best friend.
I always thought diamonds are for cutting hard surfaces (like concrete).
Therefore you may be able to digg a second Euro tunnel.

Maybe they'll find one of the doggers we lost in there last winter :shock: :wink:

Quote by Libra+Love
Give it to me :mrgreen: :grin:
I'll take it if you're offering :wink:

I wasn't :lol2:
T-J

16 Jul 2005

Quote by RedHot
Now the thing is, I'm not sure what to do with it
Your suggestions would be appreciated. lol2:
Tracy-Jayne

send it here the mrs can test drive it (the sex toy testers lol)

16 Jul 2005

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
tracy
you could sell it on ebay then you can get more cross stitch to do
if not use as a ornament in ur bedroom window lmaoooooooooo

Sod the cross stitch! I could get some more basques or something wink

Don't want to put in in the window. The neighbours know there is already one dick head in the house (who will remain nameless :wink: ) without me showing off with two :giggle:
T-J

16 Jul 2005

Quote by RedHot
tracy
you could sell it on ebay then you can get more cross stitch to do
if not use as a ornament in ur bedroom window lmaoooooooooo

Sod the cross stitch! I could get some more basques or something wink

Don't want to put in in the window. The neighbours know there is already one dick head in the house (who will remain nameless :wink: ) without me showing off with two :giggle:
T-J
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

16 Jul 2005

:lol: :lol:
OK === the final suggestion from me then ........
Give it to Jon and tell him its was you who found the Golden Rivet. so he can stop looking. wink

Fred
ps :- did I mention you son confused

: :wink:

16 Jul 2005

Ebay ( sounds like you could get enough for a weekend coastal dogging lol)

16 Jul 2005

Do you have a car? Then use it as a bonnett ornament! all the neighbours will want one.
Plus it can allso act as a kind of "lighthouse" at dogging meets, as the headlights hit the dimonds, shooting beams from your tool, then surely no one can be in doubt what your therefore wink

16 Jul 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Ebay ( sounds like you could get enough for a weekend coastal dogging lol)

sod E-bay....
TJ... wait for the antiques roadshow to come round and get them to have a look at it... the look on their faces would be priceless......
sean xxxxxxxx

16 Jul 2005

Quote by deflowerer
Do you have a car? Then use it as a bonnett ornament! all the neighbours will want one.

:shock: But what about when I'm at Tesco or visiting the in laws? :shock: lol

Quote by fabio grooverider
TJ... wait for the antiques roadshow to come round and get them to have a look at it... the look on their faces would be priceless......
sean xxxxxxxx

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

16 Jul 2005

How about sending it over to me, and I can do comsumer research on it :twisted: :twisted:

16 Jul 2005

right I am off to get my knob gold plated biggrin

16 Jul 2005

24 carats,in the ,same place, at the same time now thats food for thought confused

16 Jul 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
Ebay ( sounds like you could get enough for a weekend coastal dogging lol)

sod E-bay....
TJ... wait for the antiques roadshow to come round and get them to have a look at it... the look on their faces would be priceless......
sean xxxxxxxx

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

17 Jul 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
Ebay ( sounds like you could get enough for a weekend coastal dogging lol)

sod E-bay....
TJ... wait for the antiques roadshow to come round and get them to have a look at it... the look on their faces would be priceless......
sean xxxxxxxx
Fabio, that comment alone is Priceless

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Fred

26 Feb 2011

what did happen to it in the end..???????????
i would like to know.... :twisted: