hi
after months of trying to set up meets parties and other things i finally talked my partner into giving swinging a go, so , we went along to meet with this other couple for a drink and said it might be better if we meet u p again b4 we do anything, when we got home she told me she doesnt want to do it and doesnt wanna attend this party we were ment to be going to, im gutted, it got my hopes up cos when we went out the other night and she had a few drinks she said she was up 4 it!
what should i do
give up trying to persuade her im sure it will happen soon
or set something up again
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what should i do
I would never rely on anything said under the influence of alcohol.
Yes, OK, alcohol can relax inhibitions - but anything said may still relate to some kind of fantasy in her mind and not a real desire to make it a reality.
Whatever you do - don't force her into a situation she doesn't want to be in.
Also don't have a downer on her for backing off from the idea.
She is still the person you married - that is the most important thing - don't let her reticence dwell on your mind as it would be destructive. And NEVER make her feel guilty about it.
Anyway - you never know - if you take it slowly and just use the idea in fantasy and make her feel comfortable at this level - she may warm to the idea again.
Possibly both come along to a no pressure social like a munch so she gets to see people in a non potential sexual situation first.
Just my thought......
Alex x
Yes, OK, alcohol can relax inhibitions - but anything said may still relate to some kind of fantasy in her mind and not a real desire to make it a reality.
Whatever you do - don't force her into a situation she doesn't want to be in.
Also don't have a downer on her for backing off from the idea.
She is still the person you married - that is the most important thing - don't let her reticence dwell on your mind as it would be destructive. And NEVER make her feel guilty about it.
Anyway - you never know - if you take it slowly and just use the idea in fantasy and make her feel comfortable at this level - she may warm to the idea again.
Possibly both come along to a no pressure social like a munch so she gets to see people in a non potential sexual situation first.
Just my thought......
Alex x
Back off and respect their no.
Having said that, in the planning there seemed a lot of I and no we, which is why you did not have 100% commitment. You might want to have an honest two way conversation on exactly why you want to try it and they don’t. A useful phrase is “in addition to that is there anything else†The last one is normally the main objection.
Take it slowly dont push and you never know one day
:
At the end of the day no is no.
PR
Having said that, in the planning there seemed a lot of I and no we, which is why you did not have 100% commitment. You might want to have an honest two way conversation on exactly why you want to try it and they don’t. A useful phrase is “in addition to that is there anything else†The last one is normally the main objection.
Take it slowly dont push and you never know one day
: At the end of the day no is no.
PR
