i was thinking what stops soem people from atending a social.
i dont mean things like the differences between a social and munch, i mean attending in general if its something you would actually like to attend.
i think (being in cornwall) attending any event tends to result in travel and hotels.
i know its typical for them to be held on a saturday, but i cant help thinking if its a planned ahead event you could get a friday or monday off work, and not everyoneworks mon-fri any way.
its just peved me that i was lookig for a hotel on a sat and its £70, change that to a sunday and it drops to £19. much more affordable.
so would you be more likely to attend if the hotels were much cheaper? or would the day put you off?
xx fem xx
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
what stops you from attending a social/ munch?
last reply
40 replies
2.7k views
0 watchers
0 likes
We will tend to go to a Saturday one than a Friday one. As we work all week, by the time Friday comes I do not want to get home, have a quick shower and back out again. By 11PM I am knackered.
I need my Saturday morning sleep-in to re-charge my batteries then Saturday nights are great......if I don't get a sleep-in then I am a right moody git
Dave_Notts
I need my Saturday morning sleep-in to re-charge my batteries then Saturday nights are great......if I don't get a sleep-in then I am a right moody git
Dave_Notts
Sex God
For me it's usually travel or money.
I'd love to do a Munch tour and get to some of the further away events but as I don't drive I'm dependent on public transport (and not the kindness of strangers, even at my most Blanche-iest!
) It's not the actual travel time, cos I love train travel - gives me reading time - but often the exorbitant cost. Add into that hotel costs and then it starts to make for a pricey do.
I think that's why there are now certain Munches I try not to miss and will save up for. But maybe I should try and branch out... that could be my mid-year resolution! :lol2:
I'd love to do a Munch tour and get to some of the further away events but as I don't drive I'm dependent on public transport (and not the kindness of strangers, even at my most Blanche-iest!
) It's not the actual travel time, cos I love train travel - gives me reading time - but often the exorbitant cost. Add into that hotel costs and then it starts to make for a pricey do.I think that's why there are now certain Munches I try not to miss and will save up for. But maybe I should try and branch out... that could be my mid-year resolution! :lol2:
Sex God
Choosing to attend a social/munch is a bit of a complicated matter for us and will depend on a whole host of things, including but not limited to...
* the organiser - can be make or break on an event. Things like the choice of venue, the hotel and guestlist is basically in their hands and some decisions they make can either creat a fab or rubbish night out.
* the names on the guestlist - is it full of people I have no idea who they are and have no inclination to meet, is there a smattering of people we've chatted to and want to know more about, is it a gathering of really great friends/people we'll have a great night out with or a good mix of all of the afore mentioned?
* the location - depending on the amount of hours on the road needed in comparrison or direct ratio with the amount of people on the list we want to meet will determine just how far afield we will venture. Is is en route to somewhere we're heading to anyway (with slight detours) or can we make it into a mini break? Factoring in petrol costs and how tired I'll be driving it.
* do we need a sitter - extra costs and time factors to consider the two new babies in our lives.
* availability and price of hotel (if needed) - bargain hotel nights are always more likely to get us on the hoof than something that will automatically cost over 100 quid in one fell swoop before we've even left the house, although this will be waived if we know it's going to be well worth the costs on a fab night out.
* is it near pay day - self explanatory!
* the date - too near to or directly on any high days or holidays then it's not going to happen, regardless of everything else on the list being nigh on perfect. Unless it is super local, then weekends are the only time we can do. Midweeks are completely out for taking days off work and travelling to swinging stuff mainly because I prefer to go on holiday with days off than go out on a site thing, not high on my personal priority list.
* outfits/themes - certain themes will make us jump for joy and get really excited where others will have us rather bed down with damp dishcloths and wet fish. Oh, and this does have a direct link with whether we having something already in the box or not! :lol:
LG. x
* the organiser - can be make or break on an event. Things like the choice of venue, the hotel and guestlist is basically in their hands and some decisions they make can either creat a fab or rubbish night out.
* the names on the guestlist - is it full of people I have no idea who they are and have no inclination to meet, is there a smattering of people we've chatted to and want to know more about, is it a gathering of really great friends/people we'll have a great night out with or a good mix of all of the afore mentioned?
* the location - depending on the amount of hours on the road needed in comparrison or direct ratio with the amount of people on the list we want to meet will determine just how far afield we will venture. Is is en route to somewhere we're heading to anyway (with slight detours) or can we make it into a mini break? Factoring in petrol costs and how tired I'll be driving it.
* do we need a sitter - extra costs and time factors to consider the two new babies in our lives.
* availability and price of hotel (if needed) - bargain hotel nights are always more likely to get us on the hoof than something that will automatically cost over 100 quid in one fell swoop before we've even left the house, although this will be waived if we know it's going to be well worth the costs on a fab night out.
* is it near pay day - self explanatory!
* the date - too near to or directly on any high days or holidays then it's not going to happen, regardless of everything else on the list being nigh on perfect. Unless it is super local, then weekends are the only time we can do. Midweeks are completely out for taking days off work and travelling to swinging stuff mainly because I prefer to go on holiday with days off than go out on a site thing, not high on my personal priority list.
* outfits/themes - certain themes will make us jump for joy and get really excited where others will have us rather bed down with damp dishcloths and wet fish. Oh, and this does have a direct link with whether we having something already in the box or not! :lol:
LG. x I love the socials.....as non presured events. Way of putting names to faces.......seeing if you get on....and i have to say a far better way of getting yourself a shrep....than any vouch system on here..lol
I would advise anyone to go....as everyone i ben to...people freindly and approachable.....nothing but good things to say about the ones i been to.
I would advise anyone to go....as everyone i ben to...people freindly and approachable.....nothing but good things to say about the ones i been to.
Sex God
Interesting topic as this is what we are organizing right now.
What stops us attending? The normal one, kids. We are now 100% restricted to Bristol or very close to it as its impossible to stay out overnight and this is likely to be the case for some time.
Besides kids though I would say nothing much really would stop us going. Before our youngest was born we started traveling to munchs and socials we really kind of enjoyed the adventure side of it. Yes munchs/socials can be expensive but that only made us make as good a time as possible out of the experience. With the larger events hardly being frequent financially its never been a problem and with 2-3 months to put some £ away its always been manageable.
Just glossing over some of the other reasons given above I/we tend not to analyze so much. Is the host a right twat? Like I care with 50-100 other people attending I can shake a hand at the door and move on Who's on the list? Again it does not matter that much if there is no one there we have met or perved before with 50-100 people in room if we want we will find someone who interests us. Will it be a good event? As good as I make it, just give me 5 pints 
I think the very important things to consider are, can you really afford to go? I mean dont not pay the gas bill :lol: Do you feel safe? If the answer to both is yes then go for it
A while ago we advertised for some nights out in the lets meet up forum in Bristol. Just drinks and see where things go, no one ever put their name down :upset: At that point we decided that regardless were going out anyway :D and thats what we have continued to do ever since. On September the 11th if only 10 people are on our Munch list and they all phone to say they cant make it cause great Aunty Hilda died again you can still guarantee that Tweeky's will be getting in the cab heading for town and having laugh at the same time.
Good thread Fem :thumbup:
What stops us attending? The normal one, kids. We are now 100% restricted to Bristol or very close to it as its impossible to stay out overnight and this is likely to be the case for some time.
Besides kids though I would say nothing much really would stop us going. Before our youngest was born we started traveling to munchs and socials we really kind of enjoyed the adventure side of it. Yes munchs/socials can be expensive but that only made us make as good a time as possible out of the experience. With the larger events hardly being frequent financially its never been a problem and with 2-3 months to put some £ away its always been manageable.
Just glossing over some of the other reasons given above I/we tend not to analyze so much. Is the host a right twat? Like I care with 50-100 other people attending I can shake a hand at the door and move on
Who's on the list? Again it does not matter that much if there is no one there we have met or perved before with 50-100 people in room if we want we will find someone who interests us. Will it be a good event? As good as I make it, just give me 5 pints I think the very important things to consider are, can you really afford to go? I mean dont not pay the gas bill :lol: Do you feel safe? If the answer to both is yes then go for it
A while ago we advertised for some nights out in the lets meet up forum in Bristol. Just drinks and see where things go, no one ever put their name down :upset: At that point we decided that regardless were going out anyway :D and thats what we have continued to do ever since. On September the 11th if only 10 people are on our Munch list and they all phone to say they cant make it cause great Aunty Hilda died again you can still guarantee that Tweeky's will be getting in the cab heading for town and having laugh at the same time. Good thread Fem :thumbup:
money will always be the main decider for me, having had a very tight couple of years and it not getting any better cos as off today i am officially redundant and am job hunting, tie that in with the fact my car is a bag of shite and i no longer trust it, the last two xmas munchs have seen me broken down on the M62 waiting for the AA!
I love going to the socials and munchs, no matter where they are, if i can get there i will, its a bit daunting as a single female especially if the list is full of names i dont know, so is more often likely i will go to one where i know a lot of people on the list, especially if its one where i see good friends, but it doesnt rule me out going where i dont know people if i have someone to go with, socials and munchs are pretty shit if you are in a hotel on your own, the whole munch buzz just isnt there.
I love going to the socials and munchs, no matter where they are, if i can get there i will, its a bit daunting as a single female especially if the list is full of names i dont know, so is more often likely i will go to one where i know a lot of people on the list, especially if its one where i see good friends, but it doesnt rule me out going where i dont know people if i have someone to go with, socials and munchs are pretty shit if you are in a hotel on your own, the whole munch buzz just isnt there.
what stops you from attending a social/ munch?
we used to go to lots from this site and another one but now really only go to socials at chams ... thats mainly my fault cus im not in the least bit social and got fed up of them after a while and cus we now live together id rather spend the evening at home with gary
however we still go chams socials when possible due to what day they are and childcare stuff :)
we used to go to lots from this site and another one but now really only go to socials at chams ... thats mainly my fault cus im not in the least bit social and got fed up of them after a while and cus we now live together id rather spend the evening at home with gary
however we still go chams socials when possible due to what day they are and childcare stuff :)
Sex God
Quote by fem_4_taboo
its just peved me that i was lookig for a hotel on a sat and its £70, change that to a sunday and it drops to £19. much more affordable.
xx fem xx
There's always room sharing to consider ;-)
All that stops me going is money and if I am free that weekend or not due to my hobby....
Sex God
As far as swinging goes, the whole social thing is quite new to us. Although we've been swinging for about 6 years, we only joined this site (and others) because I wanted to play on cam. Prior to that we just used to go to clubs and see who was there.
Since joining. I spend a lot of time here socially, I am in the forums a lot and have set up camp in beach bar 3!! I have made some great friends through this site and had met lots of great people but a couple of months ago we decided that it was about time that we started to go to socials and we're having a great time!!
We do have restrictions, the usual, money, kids, etc but if things are advertised far enough in advance it gives us plenty of opportunity to sort things out.
We can't do midweek socials because we both work and Friday's are difficult because we're both knackered after a busy week. We do prefer to come home afterwards too as hotels together with all the other expenses can prove expensive. Although sometimes you just cant help but stay over ..... Bristol here we come!!!
We're also in the process of organising a munch in the North West so keep your eye out in the lets meet up forum!!
Since joining. I spend a lot of time here socially, I am in the forums a lot and have set up camp in beach bar 3!! I have made some great friends through this site and had met lots of great people but a couple of months ago we decided that it was about time that we started to go to socials and we're having a great time!!
We do have restrictions, the usual, money, kids, etc but if things are advertised far enough in advance it gives us plenty of opportunity to sort things out.
We can't do midweek socials because we both work and Friday's are difficult because we're both knackered after a busy week. We do prefer to come home afterwards too as hotels together with all the other expenses can prove expensive. Although sometimes you just cant help but stay over ..... Bristol here we come!!!
We're also in the process of organising a munch in the North West so keep your eye out in the lets meet up forum!!
Sex God
Lack of invites 
Sex God
Quote by Bluefish2009
Lack of invites
Generally with Munches and Socials you just sign up: look in Let's Meet Up or Club Meets forums and get yourselves signed up.
(And yes, I am aware that Bluefish may have been joking, but wanted to clear that up in case any new folk are browsing the thread!)
Sex God
Quote by Bluefish2009
Lack of invites
Consider this an official invitation to ours
See our signature or the stickied thread at the top of the lets meet up forum :thumbup: like Nola said though an invite is not required just stick your name down.
Sex God
Quote by Bluefish2009
Lack of invites
Consider yourselves officially invited here any time :rascal:
Sexpert
Time and Money but not necessarily at the same time. As a single dad I don't have enough of either compared to my former life as a hard drinking, hell raising biker haha.
Sex God
I've been to a few different Munches/Socials and have always had a blast. For me its babysitters, travelling as I don't drive and money. I also work weekends and there is always a fight to get a Saturday off lol. It's a hard life
Lil x
Lil x
Master of Sex
For us it's a combination of time and cost.
We both work weekends so it takes a fair bit of juggling to make sure we're both free and then it's at least and hours drive to all the socials/munches we see advertised. By the time you cost up fuel, hotel, new frock*, new shoes*, new undies* (*I know these aren't necessary, but you try telling Jewl that), it isn't cheap .
We both work weekends so it takes a fair bit of juggling to make sure we're both free and then it's at least and hours drive to all the socials/munches we see advertised. By the time you cost up fuel, hotel, new frock*, new shoes*, new undies* (*I know these aren't necessary, but you try telling Jewl that), it isn't cheap .
as one of the organisers of the yorkshire socials it has been interesting reading this thread
we cant please all of the people all of the time but we try our best when it comes to themes (which are optional) and trying to ensure everyone has a good time
we try to give plenty of notice so people that need hotels have time to save, but room sharing is a good idea, can i also suggest making the effort to get to know local people to the event, either through the chatrooms or forum, who knows you might even then get a bed or airbed offered
i suppose it comes down to what you are expecting or looking for and weigh this up with the potential cost,
at the last social i stayed at a hotel, beer was cheap, dj was brilliant, meeting up with old friends and new was great, compare this to a night in town which involves ridiculous bar prices and club costs i think financially i broke even but had a much more enjoyable night (didnt have one drink spilt on me, wasnt pushed, prodded or stomped on, rained on between pubs etc etc)
i dont go out that much so think every now and again i deserve a treat as do all you hard workers
if there are any single females who would like to attend any socials/munches but dont know anyone and dont have any confidence may i suggest you contact the organisers (and i know im not just talking for myself here) who will be happy to arrange a buddy for you to get to know before the event, poss meet (for coffee) just so your not on your own, im happy to be a buddy too
we cant please all of the people all of the time but we try our best when it comes to themes (which are optional) and trying to ensure everyone has a good time
we try to give plenty of notice so people that need hotels have time to save, but room sharing is a good idea, can i also suggest making the effort to get to know local people to the event, either through the chatrooms or forum, who knows you might even then get a bed or airbed offered
i suppose it comes down to what you are expecting or looking for and weigh this up with the potential cost,
at the last social i stayed at a hotel, beer was cheap, dj was brilliant, meeting up with old friends and new was great, compare this to a night in town which involves ridiculous bar prices and club costs i think financially i broke even but had a much more enjoyable night (didnt have one drink spilt on me, wasnt pushed, prodded or stomped on, rained on between pubs etc etc)
i dont go out that much so think every now and again i deserve a treat as do all you hard workers
if there are any single females who would like to attend any socials/munches but dont know anyone and dont have any confidence may i suggest you contact the organisers (and i know im not just talking for myself here) who will be happy to arrange a buddy for you to get to know before the event, poss meet (for coffee) just so your not on your own, im happy to be a buddy too
Orgasminator
For us, it's mainly the guestlist We wouldn't really want to be in a room full of strangers, we like having our friends around us. We like to make new friends too of course.
Money doesn't really come into it although we have none :lol: We've been to Edinburgh, and Exeter and everywhere in between for munches/socials in the past so distance isn't really an issue for us either.
Edited as i've been thinking whilst I went outside for a ciggie :lol:
I think to be honest, as far as socials/munches go, theres a real CBA thing going on for at least the last year or two.
Our first ever social was on here and there must have been about 80-100 people there. Fast forward to now and you barely get any interest. We organised a few on site and as the years have gone on, people just stopped putting their names down (not just for ours I hasten to add!) or dropped out.
We're having a pool party this weekend at our house and the numbers went from 15 confirmed (which is a reasonable amount for a house party) to 8 in the last few days! I have no idea but it seems to be a common theme across several sites.
*Her*
We wouldn't really want to be in a room full of strangers, we like having our friends around us. We like to make new friends too of course. Money doesn't really come into it although we have none :lol: We've been to Edinburgh, and Exeter and everywhere in between for munches/socials in the past so distance isn't really an issue for us either.
Edited as i've been thinking whilst I went outside for a ciggie :lol:
I think to be honest, as far as socials/munches go, theres a real CBA thing going on for at least the last year or two.
Our first ever social was on here and there must have been about 80-100 people there. Fast forward to now and you barely get any interest. We organised a few on site and as the years have gone on, people just stopped putting their names down (not just for ours I hasten to add!) or dropped out.
We're having a pool party this weekend at our house and the numbers went from 15 confirmed (which is a reasonable amount for a house party) to 8 in the last few days! I have no idea but it seems to be a common theme across several sites.
*Her*
distance is never an issue for me, wales, edinburgh, herts, even a meet in ireland on a one to one, but money has for the last 2 yrs and evenmoreso now am unemployed, the room share is a fab idea, but it has backfired on me a couple of times with bad shares, it helps if a few from same area can travel together
Sex God
For us the only thing which stops us attending is real life stuff getting in the way, such as work, my Uni course and family commitments. In the past we have travelled all over the place for socials and munches, both staying over and travelling back on the night. However, lately, there has not been that many Munches advertised, and now there is only the one (Bristol, which is bang in the middle of our holidays).
It might just be me, but I have noticed that there are now lots more local socials going on than the big country wide Munches we used to have. Its not a bad thing as it does allow people to get to know people who local to them, but personally, I dont feel as comfortable putting our names down for these as it feels as if we are 'outsiders' invading a local night out (that just may be me and not necessarily the way others would see it).
It might just be me, but I have noticed that there are now lots more local socials going on than the big country wide Munches we used to have. Its not a bad thing as it does allow people to get to know people who local to them, but personally, I dont feel as comfortable putting our names down for these as it feels as if we are 'outsiders' invading a local night out (that just may be me and not necessarily the way others would see it).
Sex God
Quote by couplefunuk
For us, it's mainly the guestlist
Money doesn't really come into it although we have none :lol: We've been to Edinburgh, and Exeter and everywhere in between for munches/socials in the past so distance isn't really an issue for us either.
Edited as i've been thinking whilst I went outside for a ciggie :lol:
I think to be honest, as far as socials/munches go, theres a real CBA thing going on for at least the last year or two.
Our first ever social was on here and there must have been about 80-100 people there. Fast forward to now and you barely get any interest. We organised a few on site and as the years have gone on, people just stopped putting their names down (not just for ours I hasten to add!) or dropped out.
We're having a pool party this weekend at our house and the numbers went from 15 confirmed (which is a reasonable amount for a house party) to 8 in the last few days! I have no idea but it seems to be a common theme across several sites.
*Her*
Hi Guys
Well sorry to pick on you for just a moment, is that ok
The guest list. Quite a few people have mentioned this now. My question is if you dont put yours down they dont put theirs down and then neither do ........ infinity.
As for the numbers signing up for the event I do hope to hit at least 80 for the event we are doing. The last Bristol social got 80 I think without too much trouble. I am hoping with this one that if it all goes very well you get more for the next one (If I survive and decide to do another) members like NWC might be able to confirm or deny that.
Finally we did notice your pool party but its Mrs Tweekys Birthday and she wanted to go to her favorite places. If you wish though you can PM us your address, we will be in the area during the evening and may still be able to pop by
If not, have a good one :thumbup: we've tended to have 80-100 people attend the socials in yorkshire
we tend to advertise as socials as we have a couple of close friends who are not SH members that attend
yes its attended mostly by local people, i suppose due to travel etc but each time we get lots of new people who are welcomed and leave having made new friends,
im not sure what the issue is with strangers, you could go to a pub with a friend and not know a single other person but does it stop you going
isnt the idea of this site 'broadening your horizons' so to speak???? the idea of socials is meeting new people, putting a face to a name, breaking the ice and seeing if you want to arrange a meet afterwards, im always meeting up with friends regularly from here and dont need to wait til socials to do this
we tend to advertise as socials as we have a couple of close friends who are not SH members that attend
yes its attended mostly by local people, i suppose due to travel etc but each time we get lots of new people who are welcomed and leave having made new friends,
im not sure what the issue is with strangers, you could go to a pub with a friend and not know a single other person but does it stop you going
isnt the idea of this site 'broadening your horizons' so to speak???? the idea of socials is meeting new people, putting a face to a name, breaking the ice and seeing if you want to arrange a meet afterwards, im always meeting up with friends regularly from here and dont need to wait til socials to do this
Sex God
I guess guestlist concerns for me are not always the 'unknowns' because as some people have said, it's good to meet new folk.
If however I see a list full of names of people who I have observed behaving (chatting/posting/camming whatever it is they tend to do) in a manner which unnerves or worries me, then I would be in two minds about going. An example would perhaps be if I'd noticed people being offensive in the chatrooms or rude/aggressive to other members. If I didn't know many people and I saw a few names on the list that jumped out as people I'd got reservations about, then I wouldn't go.
If however I see a list full of names of people who I have observed behaving (chatting/posting/camming whatever it is they tend to do) in a manner which unnerves or worries me, then I would be in two minds about going. An example would perhaps be if I'd noticed people being offensive in the chatrooms or rude/aggressive to other members. If I didn't know many people and I saw a few names on the list that jumped out as people I'd got reservations about, then I wouldn't go.
Quote by Trixie_D-Lish
we've tended to have 80-100 people attend the socials in yorkshire
we tend to advertise as socials as we have a couple of close friends who are not SH members that attend
yes its attended mostly by local people, i suppose due to travel etc but each time we get lots of new people who are welcomed and leave having made new friends,
im not sure what the issue is with strangers, you could go to a pub with a friend and not know a single other person but does it stop you going
isnt the idea of this site 'broadening your horizons' so to speak???? the idea of socials is meeting new people, putting a face to a name, breaking the ice and seeing if you want to arrange a meet afterwards, im always meeting up with friends regularly from here and dont need to wait til socials to do this
It's not the strangers that bother me.. it's more the ones who don't know how to behave in public to be honest - and there's a few of them
Orgasminator
Quote by tweeky
Hi Guys
Well sorry to pick on you for just a moment, is that ok
The guest list. Quite a few people have mentioned this now. My question is if you dont put yours down they dont put theirs down and then neither do ........ infinity.
As for the numbers signing up for the event I do hope to hit at least 80 for the event we are doing. The last Bristol social got 80 I think without too much trouble. I am hoping with this one that if it all goes very well you get more for the next one (If I survive and decide to do another) members like NWC might be able to confirm or deny that.
Finally we did notice your pool party but its Mrs Tweekys Birthday and she wanted to go to her favorite places. If you wish though you can PM us your address, we will be in the area during the evening and may still be able to pop by
Pick on us all ya want. We'll just come and slap ya. We know where you live
I see your first point, but there has to be at least a few people on there that we wanna meet/see again or else why would we spend the money?
We will definately be putting our names down for the next Bristol social. It's local and we already know a few peeps who we wanna see again. Hopefully our names going down won't put others off!!!
Re the pool party - pm gone out to ya :D It's been too long guys!
*Her*
