ive always wondered how some people come to find themselves interested in what society often terms Kinky or even downright perverted.... ie...some of the more extreme fetishes.. ie.. heavy SM stuff, toilet related practices, violent sex etc etc.
is it because youve tried all the tame stuff and those sort of things dont cut it anymore?
is it because you were dropped on your head at a young age?
is it anything more sinister?.. ( mindful of the AUP)
does it come from the fact you're a lawyer or an accountant?
id invite any "extremers" to comment as to why they are "extreme" , otherwise i expect the usual piss takes...........
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what the hell is all that about?
Sex God
Quote by DeeCee
ive always wondered how some people come to find themselves interested in what society often terms Kinky or even downright perverted.... ie...some of the more extreme fetishes.. ie.. heavy SM stuff, toilet related practices, violent sex etc etc.
is it because youve tried all the tame stuff and those sort of things dont cut it anymore?
is it because you were dropped on your head at a young age?
is it anything more sinister?.. ( mindful of the AUP)
does it come from the fact you're a lawyer or an accountant?
id invite any "extremers" to comment as to why they are "extreme" , otherwise i expect the usual piss takes...........
well if you think about it because everyone is different... the only person who could be counted as "normal" is the person who came up with the word........because they only judge others by themself
that should just about kill this thread stone dead..........
sean
Quote by DeeCee
ive always wondered how some people come to find themselves interested in what society often terms Kinky or even downright perverted.... ie...some of the more extreme fetishes.. ie.. heavy SM stuff, toilet related practices, violent sex etc etc.
is it because youve tried all the tame stuff and those sort of things dont cut it anymore?
is it because you were dropped on your head at a young age?
is it anything more sinister?.. ( mindful of the AUP)
does it come from the fact you're a lawyer or an accountant?
id invite any "extremers" to comment as to why they are "extreme" , otherwise i expect the usual piss takes...........
I'd actually be really interested in hearing peoples comments here - but aside from the 'heavy handed regulars' who might scare folk away from answering your questions (
) , the digs at 'being dropped on head. lawyers and accountants' will probably stop anyone who has a genuine liking/ fetish for this stuff from answering anyway for fear of being slated or subjected to piss-takes. That, and maybe that there are few true heavy BDSM'ers or extremers who cross over to the swinging world?? but, interested all the same
There are surprisingly large numbers of people who are active in S&M, brown, baby dressing and so on. These advanced practices are usually reasonably well disciplined.
However the darker end of it all is usually conducted by people with psychopathic disorders. They often appear to be quite 'normal' before descending into complete madness.
It is possible they are developing their skills in amongst the established adult circles, but its unlikely as they are more often than not loners and socially dysfunctional. Or living a time bomb existence which at some point triggers their true nature.
However the darker end of it all is usually conducted by people with psychopathic disorders. They often appear to be quite 'normal' before descending into complete madness.
It is possible they are developing their skills in amongst the established adult circles, but its unlikely as they are more often than not loners and socially dysfunctional. Or living a time bomb existence which at some point triggers their true nature.
Sex God
Quote by duncanlondon
There are surprisingly large numbers of people who are active in S&M, brown, baby dressing and so on.
Erm, is 'brown' what I think it is? As in, not the colour, rather the colour of the substance ?
Quote by duncanlondon
There are surprisingly large numbers of people who are active in S&M, brown, baby dressing and so on. These advanced practices are usually reasonably well disciplined.
However the darker end of it all is usually conducted by people with psychopathic disorders. They often appear to be quite 'normal' before descending into complete madness.
It is possible they are developing their skills in amongst the established adult circles, but its unlikely as they are more often than not loners and socially dysfunctional. Or living a time bomb existence which at some point triggers their true nature.
thats the sort of answer i was looking for........... even if my lighthearted/ possibly "tongue in cheek " post didnt make that clear.
in my own view, there has to be something really wrong with a person to be interested in " the darker side" of things... i mean, the fact that these people are in a minority and society has sought to outlaw / control some of these practices does lead me to believe that as politically correct as it seems to condone some things as a matter of choice... they are pretty terrible, exploitative and damaging and that the people who engage in them are troubled souls.
there does seem to be a consensus that mild BDSM is erotic and that there is a line between kinky and depraved. The point im after clarification is...... what causes that line to be crossed?
Sex God
Hmmm, you're original question shows a little lack of knowledge about the things you're asking about, so I won't tear into you about the phrasing of the question posed as it really is an "each to their own" situation.I'm into BDSM a little. It always surprises me the amount of people who are surprised that I'm switch on the domme side when they talk to me about BDSM things. I'm just naturally like that and I love to please my sub. I enjoy doing things that I know they'll like and enjoy, occasionally pushing the boundaries to see how it goes. I'd draw the line at illegal things or permanent harm. (with the exeption of consentual abduction and consentual forced sex where the person expressed a wish for this to happen with safe words in place for if the line is crossed)
On the other hand of me being Domme or Top, I do have fantasies that might not be deemed within 'normal' taste and decency ideas... such as foursomes, orgies, gangbangs etc... you can hardly say that society thinks of these activities as 'normal'... but thats where the discussion is flawed.... define normal??? Everyone has their own little quirks and thats what makes us individuals.
There are things I've witnessed within the BDSM scene that have repulsed me because personally I find it distateful, for example, I'm not into anything that will involve the show of blood... so that will automatically send me reeling off to the corner for a seat.
Gem. x
Ugh. I've just written my dissertation on this very subject. My conclusion was not that people are perverted but that society dictates what we should consider normal, mainly due to the prudishness handed down to us from the victorian era.
I'll send it to you if you like,although it's a lot more boring than it sounds.
Did enjoy the research though :twisted:
H.x
I'll send it to you if you like,although it's a lot more boring than it sounds.
Did enjoy the research though :twisted:
H.x
Quote by H-x
Ugh. I've just written my dissertation on this very subject. My conclusion was not that people are perverted but that society dictates what we should consider normal, mainly due to the prudishness handed down to us from the victorian era.
I'll send it to you if you like,although it's a lot more boring than it sounds.
Did enjoy the research though :twisted:
H.x
H I would love to read it if you'd be willing to send to me?
Extremism fascinates me - and I dont mean I'm into heavy BDSM etc :shock: :scared: , but understanding human behaviour - and particularly sexual behaviour is very much my academic area too.
That's not to say I dont have some pretty off-the-wall fantasies :shock: , but that's all they are. Honest
I make no secret of being very intrigued by some of the BDSM practices. It surprises a lot of people when they meet me.
There needs to be a deep understanding with regard to BDSM, and if it isn't your cup of teathen you are unlikely to ever understand or be sympathetic. There is a whole lot more eroticism involved and the trust needed is a big issue. By handing control over to someone else you can be very free and enjoy a deeper experience.
But I'm a bit dismayed that people see BDSM'ers as Psychopathic or mentally unstable.
There are of course certain practices that a lot of people would draw the line at.
The line is crossed when you personally are outside your comfort zone and aren't happy. I'm quite happy to be tied up and yet a swinging friend of mine finds it horrific !
C
There needs to be a deep understanding with regard to BDSM, and if it isn't your cup of teathen you are unlikely to ever understand or be sympathetic. There is a whole lot more eroticism involved and the trust needed is a big issue. By handing control over to someone else you can be very free and enjoy a deeper experience.
But I'm a bit dismayed that people see BDSM'ers as Psychopathic or mentally unstable.
There are of course certain practices that a lot of people would draw the line at.
The line is crossed when you personally are outside your comfort zone and aren't happy. I'm quite happy to be tied up and yet a swinging friend of mine finds it horrific !
C
Quote by H-x
Ugh. I've just written my dissertation on this very subject. My conclusion was not that people are perverted but that society dictates what we should consider normal, mainly due to the prudishness handed down to us from the victorian era.
I'll send it to you if you like,although it's a lot more boring than it sounds.
Did enjoy the research though :twisted:
H.x
Agree with this totally. We are still finding the narrow mindedness of some people, even on the swinging scene, quite amazing. We should be the freest thinkers of all...as long as everyone is consenting and there is nothing illegal involved then (even if it's something we don't fancy ourselves) we really cannot see why it should not be 'each to his/her/their own.
Quote by Calista
There needs to be a deep understanding with regard to BDSM, and if it isn't your cup of tea then you are unlikely to ever understand or be sympathetic. There is a whole lot more eroticism involved and the trust needed is a big issue. By handing control over to someone else you can be very free and enjoy a deeper experience.
This is very much my cup of tea, but like you say Cali, the trust required means I dont engage in anything remotely on this level, purley because I dont trust !
But I'm a bit dismayed that people see BDSM'ers as Psychopathic or mentally unstable.
There are of course certain practices that a lot of people would draw the line at.
The line is crossed when you personally are outside your comfort zone and aren't happy. I'm quite happy to be tied up and yet a swinging friend of mine finds it horrific !
C
I think the reference to psychopathic behaviour would only apply to sexual violence - sexual psychopaths get off on the power they feel (and gain) from someone elses suffering, humiliation and often, pain. - I dont consider that to be the same as consentual BDSM practices, even to the extremes of scat ( which I dont think i'll ever get my head around :lol: :scared: )
DeeCee
Can you tell me what "normal" is ?
Why am I mentally ill if I like something you dont like ?
What butters my crumpets might not butter yours .......... but does that give you the right to tell me that I am mentally disturbed and you are "normal" ?
Each to their own IMHO
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Can you tell me what "normal" is ?
Why am I mentally ill if I like something you dont like ?
What butters my crumpets might not butter yours .......... but does that give you the right to tell me that I am mentally disturbed and you are "normal" ?
Each to their own IMHO
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by blonde
DeeCee
Can you tell me what "normal" is ?
Why am I mentally ill if I like something you dont like ?
What butters my crumpets might not butter yours .......... but does that give you the right to tell me that I am mentally disturbed and you are "normal" ?
Each to their own IMHO
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yes, we are always intrigued by people using the word 'normal'? What the hell does it mean when relating to sexual practices anyway? :shock:
Quote by DeeCee
in my own view, there has to be something really wrong with a person to be interested in " the darker side" of things... i mean, the fact that these people are in a minority and society has sought to outlaw / control some of these practices does lead me to believe that as politically correct as it seems to condone some things as a matter of choice... they are pretty terrible, exploitative and damaging and that the people who engage in them are troubled souls.
Same could be said by vanillas about swinging too
What happens behind closed doors as long as it is completely consentual shouldn't affect those not involved in it.
Heresay is not something you can reliably base an informed opinion about the scene upon and I for one do not consider myself a "troubled soul" as you put it.
Quote by celestria
in my own view, there has to be something really wrong with a person to be interested in " the darker side" of things... i mean, the fact that these people are in a minority and society has sought to outlaw / control some of these practices does lead me to believe that as politically correct as it seems to condone some things as a matter of choice... they are pretty terrible, exploitative and damaging and that the people who engage in them are troubled souls.
Same could be said by vanillas about swinging too
What happens behind closed doors as long as it is completely consentual shouldn't affect those not involved in it.
Heresay is not something you can reliably base an informed opinion about the scene upon and I for one do not consider myself a "troubled soul" as you put it.
Agree with Celestria 100%
afraid I consider myself to have all my faculties in working order. I have a professional and responsible job with a huge anout of I become "disturbed" because I like to hand over total control to someone else? It takes a HUGE amount of trust to allow someone to dictate what you can and cant do and to know exactly what will turn you on and when to stop. Personally there is nothing like pushing your boundaries bit by bit and seeing where it takes you.. Perhaps the people that like the more extreme forms of sex have merely pushed to this point. Perhaps there is a draker reason, but not always. Live and let live.. so long as everyone understands the rules and no one gets seriously hurt.
Quote by blonde
DeeCee
Can you tell me what "normal" is ?
Why am I mentally ill if I like something you dont like ?
What butters my crumpets might not butter yours .......... but does that give you the right to tell me that I am mentally disturbed and you are "normal" ?
Each to their own IMHO
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i dont think i ever mentioned the word "normal" in any of my posts...........i dont set the standards or infact follow them myself........
i dont think that i ever critisized any thing other than "extreme" practices like violent sexual behaviour and the like. my comments relate purely to the illegal, non-consentual activities that still pervade society and that some still condone using the argument " each to there own" and the like.
my question was why the " really depraved stuff" was done ?why people do it, and seeking some answers as to why people " go that much further" . which seems to be answered by some of the posters like Andromeda et al.
however, as before some seek to take things out of context and attribute things that others have said to another.... anyway... it doesnt really bother me... cos theres no way in a million years im gonna let someone beat me, hurt me, shit on me or me or do it to anyone who asks me to do it to them.
!!!! each to their own as they say!!!!
Quote by DeeCee
i dont think i ever mentioned the word "normal" in any of my posts...........i dont set the standards or infact follow them myself........
Quote by DeeCee
in my own view, there has to be something really wrong with a person to be interested in " the darker side" of things... i mean, the fact that these people are in a minority and society has sought to outlaw / control some of these practices does lead me to believe that as politically correct as it seems to condone some things as a matter of choice... they are pretty terrible, exploitative and damaging and that the people who engage in them are troubled souls.
Funnily enough you sound quick to judge in that last sentence.
Quote by DeeCee
i dont think that i ever critisized any thing other than "extreme" practices like violent sexual behaviour and the like. my comments relate purely to the illegal, non-consentual activities that still pervade society and that some still condone using the argument " each to there own" and the like.
my question was why the " really depraved stuff" was done ?why people do it, and seeking some answers as to why people " go that much further" . which seems to be answered by some of the posters like Andromeda et al.
however, as before some seek to take things out of context and attribute things that others have said to another.... anyway... it doesnt really bother me... cos theres no way in a million years im gonna let someone beat me, hurt me, shit on me or me or do it to anyone who asks me to do it to them.
!!!! each to their own as they say!!!!
Taking things out of context does change things, but it's a well know fact that one of the most common fantasies for women is the " " one, I was in a domestic violence situation once and yet I'm happy to practice BDSM. Just because you don't understand the "reasons" behind why people do these things doesn't make them depraved! It purely means the prefer different things to you! The trust and relationship in many "extreme situations" is far greater than you could ever understand ... it is often built up over time and the people taking part have often spent more time exploring their sexuality, preferences and pratices more than you or I would ever explore swinging.
As you say each to their own and yes I agree there are some practices that you or I would turn our noses up at or become uncomfortable with but is it you and I who have the problem or people who practice "extreme activities" because 9/10 it's us who have the problem and the practioners are much more level headed!
