What would you say if the kids found out?

17 Oct 2007

I was reading the dear Miriam agony aunt bit in the mirror and here is the letter that got me thinking.
Dear Miriam, My parents have been married for more than 30 years and you'd think they were Mr & Mrs ordinary to look at them. She's a plumpish housewife and he's a painter and decorator.
I thought I knew them well but I don't. They're strangers to me since I discovered they're into wife swapping. I found a list of swinger adverts by their bed.
Who are these people and where are my real parents? It feels like bereavement.
Miriam’s reply was: If they want a sexually-liberated lifestyle, that's their business. And they seem to have been very discreet about it.
It’s not as uncommon as you think for couples to have multiple sex partners on the swinging scene. Usually, they have rules that this never intrudes on their love for each other.
This has nothing to do with their being your parents and, if they’ve done a good job bringing you up, don't let it change your feelings towards them.
Now I and my lady still have limited swinging experiences, she goes out on the pull on a Saturday night. But that's about it (so far :twisted: ) and there is always a chance especially when they get a little older, they are 8 and 5, they could find out what we are doing however discreet you are.
What would you say to your kids if they found out you swing? Would you tell them when they are old enough (how ever old that is) that you do swing?
I would like to say I would talk to mine, calmly about the situation, in reality I would probably be redface

:shock: :censored: :silly: blink

:gagged: all at the same time.

17 Oct 2007

i'd be feckin amazed and scared all at the same time
i dont have any biggrin

Earthy xxx

17 Oct 2007

A very reasoned response from miriam there
I wonder if she is...?

17 Oct 2007

Quote by Warmer
A very reasoned response from miriam there
I wonder if she is...?

The thought had crossed my mind.

17 Oct 2007

I'm not sure about this at all...
Does going on the pull on a Sat count as swinging even?? biggrin

Personally I would cross that bridge when you get to it.. If they find out they find out.. If like the couple your not flaunting it in there faces and still being good parents you have nothing to be ashamed of!
Mike x

17 Oct 2007

well if our kids found out,i'd just say..."your mum made me do it!"

17 Oct 2007

I'd say we'd turned to a religion that allows it lol

Or
I'd pretend that they had made a HUGE mistake and got the wrong end of the stick!!
in reality, Id probably me hugely mortified and embarrased and try and bribe them in some way into never breathing a word of it.
Although my eldest whos 14 was very matter of fact when I told him I worked as a chat line girl :shock:

17 Oct 2007

Our kids are pretty cool about it. One even commented that we must have a very strong relationship. She wasn't wrong biggrin

She did however suggest that we might have even more fun if we weren't both straight.... :shock:
That led to an interesting conversation!
Before anyone gets the wrong idea, our kids are all grown up now.
CB

17 Oct 2007

My young one once found a chat log from Jay talking to someone and was abs. mortified. It didn't give much away other than how excited Jay was at the prospect of a threesome! :shock:
I told her it was just him and a mate larking on and it was normal for men to fantasise about threesomes! :shock:
How big was my nose? lol

I would be gutted if the kids found out about our lifestyle.

17 Oct 2007

My daughter's only 9 so I'd be pretty horrified, tbh.
My mother found my Munch badges the other day. I swiped them off her and told her off for being nosey - even though they were just there, openly on the kitchen worktop. She berated me for not tidying up and left soon after. confused

17 Oct 2007

We don't swing anywhere that our kids could find out, so if they are home, we don't do it!
They have their own pc so no chance of them "finding" a website inadvertently, although SH is inevitably open at some point they walk through the room (although we do try to keep the screen discreet) they are never close enough to read the smaller writing and we've told them it's a site similar to Facebook, ie social networking, but it's only for adults!
At the ages ours are they are unlikely to a) find out and b) understand if they did.
Cx

17 Oct 2007

Our eldest is 17, and I've a feeling she knows more than she lets on anyway. We've a pretty open relationship- her best (male) mate refers to me as "darling" and says he wants to marry me. surprised

I think she'd be pretty cool. She doesn't shock easily anyway, and has diverse friends.
We both hanker after a certain Mr Depp, and whilst watching said person (who we frequently "fight" over) in a film one night.....the conversation went like this....
Her: "Thats my lipstick on his collar!"
Me: " Really? Thats mine round his dick."
Well, you have to show them who's boss. :smug:

17 Oct 2007

The only one at home is our boy whos 18.
Maybe something along the lines of:- Could you stay at your mates this weekend we have friends coming over redface

.

17 Oct 2007

i had to cross this bridge last year with my 19yr old son. he had met some of my swinging friends as we had a pub and they used to visit for drinks. my son asked me what the web site was that i had found my friends on because he wanted to join it and make some more friends! i had to explain to him about the sh website and then explained why we joined and that it was for social more than sex. my son is quite liberal and found it quite funny and never judged us at all. he was just happy that i had been open and honest with him, as i have brought my three children up to be the same. my other son now knows and after the initial shock he accepts what we do and isnt phased by it at all, as long as it isnt in their face which obviously it wouldnt be. they have met our friends off the site and get on really well with everyone which is a bonus because its allowed them to see that swingers arent sex mad, dirty, seedy people, as they are often portrayed. would i have told them if i hadnt been put in the position? probably not , but feel much better that we still have an honest open relationship as a family. x

17 Oct 2007

i would have thought its one sided, your not a fisherman , are you, ? waiting for her to trawl them in?
To swing , there must be a mutual involvment and enjoyment , otherwise , let her go out and you enjoy a hired video!

17 Oct 2007

i would have thought its one sided, your not a fisherman , are you, ? waiting for her to trawl them in?
To swing , there must be a mutual involvment and enjoyment , otherwise , let her go out and you enjoy a hired video!

17 Oct 2007

was that comment for me ste? i am the fem who wrote the thread above and wrote it as such because they are my children not als. so in that respect the reply was one sided, from my experinece as a motherx

17 Oct 2007

Quote by Alandtra69
was that comment for me ste? i am the fem who wrote the thread above and wrote it as such because they are my children not als. so in that respect the reply was one sided, from my experinece as a motherx

I don't even think his post was anywhere related to the topic let alone you hun confused

Mar xx

17 Oct 2007

thankyou jaymar lol i know im blonde but i really couldnt see where his thread had any significance but replied as i did just in case lol x

17 Oct 2007

Quote by Alandtra69
i had to cross this bridge last year with my 19yr old son. he had met some of my swinging friends as we had a pub and they used to visit for drinks. my son asked me what the web site was that i had found my friends on because he wanted to join it and make some more friends! i had to explain to him about the sh website and then explained why we joined and that it was for social more than sex. my son is quite liberal and found it quite funny and never judged us at all. he was just happy that i had been open and honest with him, as i have brought my three children up to be the same. my other son now knows and after the initial shock he accepts what we do and isnt phased by it at all, as long as it isnt in their face which obviously it wouldnt be. they have met our friends off the site and get on really well with everyone which is a bonus because its allowed them to see that swingers arent sex mad, dirty, seedy people, as they are often portrayed. would i have told them if i hadnt been put in the position? probably not , but feel much better that we still have an honest open relationship as a family. x

Tra, the only thing I have left to ask is - is he pretty? cool

17 Oct 2007

pmsl marya , i think so but im biased lol

17 Oct 2007

My son (19) has met a few of my friends from here. And I'm pretty sure he has a good idea about this site since I accidentally showed him the name of the site while I showed him the quality of the chat room.
His only comment was when Vills arrived for a second time that it was unusual for me to have the same friend to visit twice in a row. LOL
Trouble is, I would like him to know that I still swing, that Vills is involved and I'm not cheating on him. Since a lot of my behaviour hasn't changed that much. But I don't know how much he has worked out and I don't want either "I know, don't talk to me about it" or "Oh my God my mother is a TART" all shocked and embarrassed.