Whats the worst joke u've heard

5 Oct 2004

have any got a Really crap joke? or a joke that u made up that u thought was brilliant, but after ya told it everyone looked at ya in a "hole opening underneath ya feet" way

5 Oct 2004

T-J xx

5 Oct 2004

I'm no good at jokes today cos I have been decorating at my parents new bungalow
Its all that painting, it makes me come over all emulsional :cry: :cry:
bolt

Dawn :silly:

5 Oct 2004

What's Marlon Brando's beer?
Stellllaaaaaaaaa.
I'll get me cloak.

5 Oct 2004

Yeah - just watch this space! confused

5 Oct 2004

2 eggs in a frying pan, one says to the other one:
"it's roasting in here"
"f*ck me!" says the other one, "a talking egg"

5 Oct 2004

Quote by easy_going_dude
2 eggs in a frying pan, one says to the other one:
"it's roasting in here"
"f*ck me!" says the other one, "a talking egg"

I actually like this. Looks like Eddie Izzard's not going to have any competition from me then.

5 Oct 2004

i dont think many ppl can beat Eddie izzard.. he is pure genius
anyone seen his "technofear" joke just class
when i get a few mins i'll write it down... you laugh at it just by reading
JGL

5 Oct 2004

Quote by jlebbon
i dont think many ppl can beat Eddie izzard.. he is pure genius

I'm listening to clips from Dressed to Kill at the moment. Must buy DVD.
Being Irish, the Flags bit is very good.

5 Oct 2004

bloke goes in a pub with a lil lizard on his hand....talks to him..."Tiny, d'ya want a drink?" Barman says, "Why do you call the lizard Tiny?" "Because he's my newt" replies the guy!!
( Urghhhh, do i have to explain?? ) redface

bloke goes to the pub with a little gnome who makes a ticking noise, sits him on top of the piano for the night. Barman says, "why have you left the ticking gnome on top of the piano?" "Because he's my metro-gnome"
(hey that one worked, i never heard a chortle!!) rolleyes

5 Oct 2004

right you asked for it JGL!
what's green, and hops through the australian outback?
give up?
skippy the cooking apple!
is it really really sad to tell you i just wet meself as i typed all this? dunno

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
neil x x x x ;)

5 Oct 2004

Quote by djryan
i dont think many ppl can beat Eddie izzard.. he is pure genius

I'm listening to clips from Dressed to Kill at the moment. Must buy DVD.
Being Irish, the Flags bit is very good.
I remember watching a film a few years back with Eddie Izzard in it along with William H Macy, Adam Sandler where they all had silly super hero like powers. Never did see the end of it....anyone know what it was called confused

:

5 Oct 2004

Quote by easy_going_dude
i dont think many ppl can beat Eddie izzard.. he is pure genius

I'm listening to clips from Dressed to Kill at the moment. Must buy DVD.
Being Irish, the Flags bit is very good.
I remember watching a film a few years back with Eddie Izzard in it along with William H Macy, Adam Sandler where they all had silly super hero like powers. Never did see the end of it....anyone know what it was called confused

:
Mystery Men. I have it sitting on my DVD shelf and it's one of my favourites.

5 Oct 2004

Quote by djryan
i dont think many ppl can beat Eddie izzard.. he is pure genius

I'm listening to clips from Dressed to Kill at the moment. Must buy DVD.
Being Irish, the Flags bit is very good.
I remember watching a film a few years back with Eddie Izzard in it along with William H Macy, Adam Sandler where they all had silly super hero like powers. Never did see the end of it....anyone know what it was called confused

:
Mystery Men. I have it sitting on my DVD shelf and it's one of my favourites.
Cheers djryan - just got it on the internet for Â£6
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

5 Oct 2004

Quote by easy_going_dude
i dont think many ppl can beat Eddie izzard.. he is pure genius

I'm listening to clips from Dressed to Kill at the moment. Must buy DVD.
Being Irish, the Flags bit is very good.
I remember watching a film a few years back with Eddie Izzard in it along with William H Macy, Adam Sandler where they all had silly super hero like powers. Never did see the end of it....anyone know what it was called confused

:
it was called the Mystry men
Eddie was one of the The Disco boys!!!!
that was the fist DVD i bought!!!
JGL

5 Oct 2004

Cheers jlebbon
biggrin

:D

5 Oct 2004

Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as a substitute for meat.
Q: What is two inches wide, six inches long and drives a women wild?
A: A bar of chocolate.
Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can get to sleep with a light on.
Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
i thank you :P
blasphemy, blasforyou, blasforeveryone

5 Oct 2004

Quote by monkeyxxx
Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

thats more of a true statment!! than a joke!!
JGL

5 Oct 2004

Two parrots sitting on a perch......................
One sez to the other " Can you smell fish ??"

5 Oct 2004

What do you call a Yugoslav with a blackbird on his head?
Croat

6 Oct 2004

try peter kaye pheonix nights just brillint. little britain nearly as good very close thing.

6 Oct 2004

Termite walks into a bar and asks, 'where's the bar tender'

6 Oct 2004

OK OK as i am feeling all godly like!. rolleyes

......heres one for ya
Jesus and peter are in a competition on how many they can heal in one day!
They meet up in the morning and Jesus says to Peter......well how did you get on healing people
Peter saids..well Jesus i have a confession to make!.....................i got total fed up yesterday .....so i want down the pub instead.......met a fantastic looking bird!...................took back to my house and had lots of rumpy pumpy
Well Jesus says i will forgive you son!.............................have something to admit to you my self
Peter says whats that...................well i to went down the pub last night...... and met a fantastic bird................so i took her back to my house striped her off.......lay her down
But then you no my bloody luck dont you
Whats that jesus.............................i put me hand on it..... and it healed up

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
WHAT! dunno

.well i think its funny

6 Oct 2004

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick!!!! rolleyes

6 Oct 2004

I submit the punchlines for the following age old jokes, question is.. can you remember the plot? biggrin

"..No, I couldn't find her head"
"..I asked for a 12 Inch PENIS"
"..No, I'll put them on my cock later."
"..You can beat an Egg"
"..Make it 1001 then!"
And the classic league of gentlemen gag..
"..DEATH by MauMau!!"

6 Oct 2004

This really is quite funny, 10 out of 10:

Football + Dogging + Genius = :P
Well funny.