Wheat from the chaff

How many of you feel comfortable exposing your identity?

No 0%

Yes 0%

17 votes

21 Sep 2004

As my tender years may be the cause of this, i ask you openly "How do you remove/find/decide upon, which is wheat and which is chaff" on the www?
Having a quick browse through the many photo ads on SH, i have came across a few things; 1. Many have no pictures, is this due to shyness, lack of technology or fear of social un/in-acceptance? Or, is it because there is no advertiser (at least not as they are claiming to be) at the other-end of the advert? 2. Now, as a relative novice (perhaps only in my head, as i had a fairly high score on the "kink-test", that that nice couple...i think they were a couple...were they a couple?)...anyway, the "kink-test", yes thanks to whoever led me there. Yes, novice, i have been mainly looking at the ads of women who seek men, no doubt in time and with a lot of patience, i may branch out into "murkier" realms, but women will suffice for now. Hold on, getting to the point...is it common for a women/female/girl to advocate the use of such "strong" language in a photo ad? I mean, i'm all for the boundaries of our colourful dialect to be pushed to the limit, but when 70% (shall we say!) of feamle advertisers are using language that i have only ever heard in fairly low-budget porn movies, alarm bells start ringing! Perhaps it is my naievity, perhaps operating in a faceless community, has allowed these females to become cut free of the chains that they or society, has bound them by. I did have a point No.3....oh yes..3. So, How do you tell "who is for real" and "who is a timewaster", without subjecting yourself, to the endless sending of e-mails? Is there a "rulebook" to determine what a genuine person usually writes...i think not, but if anybody has any hints/things to look out for...please, i'm here...
Aside from that, can i just say, i'm enjoying using SH and all of you Take care.
http://photos.swingingheaven.co.uk/photo-adverts/swingers-151544.html

21 Sep 2004

"If it sounds too good to be true it usually isn't true."
That works when viewing second hand car ads as well as swinging ads.
You're on the right lines by having a healthy scepticism to some of the ads but remember most of the ads, with or without photos, are from genuine people. It's not age that's the problem, but possibly a lack of experience which will come with time. By using the forums and chatroom you will begin to get a feel for who is real and will be able to sort wheat and chaff more easily. Obviously trying to get to a social event like a munch will help you as well.
Unfortunately, there are fakes and time-wasters and everyone gets it wrong at some time or other. When you do get caught don't let it bother you too much, there are plenty of genuine folk out there.
Good luck with your search. biggrin

As to our identity...we do not put recognisable photos of us on the internet. We are not ashamed of what we do but don't want to share it with relatives, friends, employers or press.

21 Sep 2004

Which part of Lanarkshire are you from??

21 Sep 2004

50/50 ... most people who I talk to regularly know my real name, but I NEVER use it in the forum and was very freaked out when someone I certinaly don't know put it in one of their posts the other night :cry:
I do have pics which are "recognisable" but not so "identifiable" that they would cause me problems in day to day life.
I don't mind people knowing who I am as long as I "know" them and have a degree of trust in them.

21 Sep 2004

Quote by Calista
50/50 ... most people who I talk to regularly know my real name, but I NEVER use it in the forum and was very freaked out when someone I certinaly don't know put it in one of their posts the other night :cry:
I do have pics which are "recognisable" but not so "identifiable" that they would cause me problems in day to day life.
I don't mind people knowing who I am as long as I "know" them and have a degree of trust in them.

I may or may not have used my real name on posts... think I did early on. However its a fairly common (as muck perhaps :shock: ) name so that wouldn't bother me. Not that fussed over my email address either, because its a forwarding address that could be changed if really necessary. I do not however post a facial pic anywhere on the Internet. I have a professional job, or at least I would have if I was employed sad

:( , so I don't want anything to disrupt that.

21 Sep 2004

Well my real name is Clare and that is my pic in the avatar.
Im not bothered if people know who i am,its that simple!

21 Sep 2004

I don't use my real name but then in day to day life i don'tuse it either...i have a nick that every1 calls me even my kid.....
As calista said....with peeps i talk to on here regularly i will use my real name in pms...but then i like to get to know peeps first....but then agan i just pmed sum1 for the first time with my nick from here and my name...but it was cause i was sending a email...and its got a different name to what i use on here...just so i didn't confuse the poor person receiving the email....
I don't really understand what i just put but whats new there dunno

21 Sep 2004

Yes, I'm with Claire from Lincs (excuse the spelling!) it's getting tight again here 50/50 when i last looked......

21 Sep 2004

We agree with northwest-cpl we dont family etc knowing our private business, but do use our names as never thought not too, also we have a couple of pics on our add but not of faces.
F

22 Sep 2004

We don't use our real names on here - but once we have exchanged a few emails or met people face to face then we do.
As for facial pics - that's a toughie!
We did to start off with, but then we heard the lads at work talking about dogging and one happened to mention that he uses the net to look for sites . . . .
So we cut the faces out of the pics rather quickly! lol

While we don't mind like-minded people knowing who we are and what we're into, we really don't want the people we work with to know - especially as I am one of only two females working with about 80 fellas.
That could be a bit too much to handle . . . . redface

22 Sep 2004

I dont use my real name (yeah yeah I know you already knew that either that or my mum is nuttier than I ever thought!) I just dont want everybody to know my business and its nothing to do with being ashamed more to do with the fact that Im new to this and that you probably do get a lot of weans and stupid people signing up just to have a go at people or try and take the piss (like a couple on here experienced recently!)
I havent placed an ad though cause Im not quite ready yet to take the next step although I doubt it will be too long anyway.
I love this site because it gives me an opportunity to maybe meet/chat to people with similar interests and also past experience (yes I do like to hear the stories at times and they do make me very horny!) but also from the point of view of seeing whats out there!!
Maybe its just me drones but I think Glasgow can be a pretty backwards place at times or maybe Ive just not looked/tried hard enough to see whats out there!! I feel more comfortable meeting people on the net you get to meet people you wouldnt ordinarily meet in real life (real life sounds stupid but you know what i mean!)
Sometimes people get an idea in their heads about what they want to do and then maybe change their minds for whatever reason. Personally I think it takes a lot of guts and trust to be able to be aware enough of your body to be able to put yourself out there with swinging/dogging etc We just still live in a very biased world some places worse than others!!
Excuse the ramble? confused

22 Sep 2004

You seen our faces, you know our names. Our entire village knows what we like to do for a hobby. So does my sister and her g/f, so I expect my parents do, too.

22 Sep 2004

ok I'm coming out the closet....I'm Dean and I'm from Cannock.
Sorry if I mislead anyone with me name !!!

22 Sep 2004

Richie469...YES its my REAL name, OK not the 469 bit
My outlook on life is mind my own business, don't judge anyone and live and let live and I wish lots of other people were the same, maybe it would be a better world then.
If anyone recognised me from my pics and made a "comment" I would initially ask them if
they enjoyed the pics and "was I what they were looking for". hey they're not on this site by mistake!
My Ad 82788

22 Sep 2004

Quote by deancannock
ok I'm coming out the closet....I'm Dean and I'm from Cannock.
Sorry if I mislead anyone with me name !!!

You cnut! I had no idea it was you! How dare you deceive people so?

22 Sep 2004

One thing I wondered, though you'll probably laugh . . . . .
Once you've met people in a club or somewhere, and had some "fun" with them and then gone your separate ways - what happens if you meet them out on the street somewhere else another time?
I mean, you can hardly say, "Oh hi, sorry - I didn't recognise you with your clotheson . . . ." or can you? wink

Just curious . . . . .

22 Sep 2004

If we recognise a couple on the street there are two possibilities:
1. We and the other couple are on our own...we let on to them.
2. One or other of us is with friends or relatives...we walk past without letting on.
Having said that it has only happened once that we've met a couple on the street and we have been going to clubs regularly for 4 years so it probably isn't something to bother about.

22 Sep 2004

We dont have the problem of recogisin people in the street cos nobody on the island are willing to meet other islanders,
As far as not using my real name that isnt to do with being emberassed it is more to do with being married to someone who runs his own business, again my parents know about my lifestle and we introduced my sister and her hubby to it last christmas.

22 Sep 2004

Interesting!! We dont use our 'common' names, at the mo its our second names, its a compromise between being 'open' and protecting ourselves, we've got jobs, kids etc to consider- it is a difficult decision to make tho, how to appear 'genuine' but remain 'anonymous' to a certain extent. Same with piccies- at present faces arent that obvious, tho my tatts would give me away to a certain extent- What I cant figure tho is that some adverts have faces obscured, but demand face pics in any reply-- dont get that at all--???

22 Sep 2004

well . . .
i have no probs whatsoever with being identifiable, but then i'm a single male so have noone to worry about. i took the email and MSN addies of my profile as a precaution given the amount of press attention here lately, just cos i didn't wanna get suckered, and i have anonymous email on my ad, cos i'm still getting spam / viral failure notices on my personal email address!
i am called neil, and i do live in leeds :shock: :lol2: and anyone i PM has my real email addy, but i'm always very quick to forget real names disclosed to me, and i invariably look ignorant by sticking to forum / chatroom nicks when i should know the real names. better safe than sorry!
neil x x x ;)

22 Sep 2004

I have no problems with anyone knowing my name and those regulars I have all know who I am.
TS