Absolutely no names will be mentioned and no personal details to retain privacy in any of my posts under this topic.
Inspired by experience on this site, and dealing with one particular couple, I'm inviting SH users to comment whatever their opinion.
I have a profile advertising myself as a single bi-female seeking other bi-females. As simple as that. At one point I invited bi-females who are part of a couple. But I always specified 'fem/fem' play only. I also made an issue of CHEMISTRY. If none there, it aint gonna happen matey..
It is those mails from couples that I'm analysing here.
Is it my paranoia (as has been dictated by said couple who inspired me to start this topic) that I have felt so little connection with them because the man in that couple has been the sole writer and communicator, and not the female?
I pointed out early on I knew they were genuine, and they didnt need to prove it any more. I KNEW they were genuine, but when I said that I was getting little 'feel ' of another female talking, I got a patronising response. The man kept banging on about their authenticity that there really was a female there. I kept banging on "I Believe you!" The man kept banging on 'Then what's the prob?' I kept banging on that I never felt a connection with the woman because it was the man who kept writing and PMing. As a result, I banged back 'There's no chemistry' because I'm not establishing a female connection, just a man talking. And they replied I was f*ked and screwed up. ...!
I was so glad when I once came across a profile, belonging to a BI-FEMALE COUPLE seeking a FEMALE (be it bi/gay/single/cple), and in that profile a paragraph affirming people that the ad/profile and all emails will be conducted by the woman - and was not male-led - unlike most couples advertising (their words). I weeped for joy when I read that!
Is it really weird - that as a single female - I might like a couple whose FEMALE will engage in the talk, since I am specifying that it is her i'll be playing with. An all-male cast doesn't quite do it, (even if I know they are genuine).. the talk is so ungirly and lacks chemistry, and i just dont connect, so i'm destined not to meet.
I'm off for the night, and welcome the responses. Not everyone will stand shoulders withe me, but I'm curious to know the feedbacl particularly from BI-FEMALE COUPLES and FEMALES. I'm not upset by any of this, I'm genuinely intruiged. Ta!
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When a maaaaaaaan writes a womon!
Sex God
Ne-ff-ffm , I've taken the liberty of editing your post with regard to font size.
Quote by davej
Ne-ff-ffm , I've taken the liberty of editing your post with regard to font size.
OH! I thought I did that, u can see i've edited 7 times, 5 of those times I was changing the font, LOL. I kept kgetting "proxy error").. Okay, I'll be heading out. Davej! It's so nice to see your picture for the first time! Thank you for editing on my behalf.
From our perspective (have Mr TN here and we have discussed), you would be right to expect the communication from the female. I have no idea how the male could have expected you to have been happy with just communication with him. Sounds like a case of not caring about a conection and just him wanting some fun.
Having read this through again, it's really bugging me. You're not paranoid - it's only polite for a woman you are potentially going to play with to at least talk to you. For me, a connection with a woman has to be established before I would even consider playing. As sensual beings, it's important.
Well, I hope you find someone more suited and don't take any crap - they probably were genuine, but if she'd wanted to play that much, she'd have made an effort. It sounds like it was just a naughty shag for them and not so much about caring that you had a really fab time.
Well, I hope you find someone more suited and don't take any crap - they probably were genuine, but if she'd wanted to play that much, she'd have made an effort. It sounds like it was just a naughty shag for them and not so much about caring that you had a really fab time.
I'm with you... I think possibly when the man is writing to you he is doing it with the view of actually wanting to see his partner/wife with you for his own pleasure. You are right, if it were me, I would be chatting to the woman and not my other half. You advertise truthfully for what you are looking for. We are a couple who enjoy playing with single bi-fems and other couples and single men, have done all three but would'nt contact someone who was advertising for single bi-fem play only because that isn't what we are looking for if you see what I mean... anyway, yes I do agree with you, I tend to ramble! lol
Sex God
we've noticed.......
mrs cream does all our replying to messages sent,don't no why it's just how we do things
:lol:
mrs cream does all our replying to messages sent,don't no why it's just how we do things
:lol: Sex God
Quote by jaymar
we've noticed.......
mrs cream does all our replying to messages sent,don't no why it's just how we do things
anything wrong with a ramble??? :shock:
nope...nothing wrong with a ramble :lol:
Sex God
not gonna 
too hard...you might enjoy it :lol:
too hard...you might enjoy it :lol: im with you,
i (fem) do all the talking in th chatroom and forum dek usually does the message writing after he has perved the gallary or photo ads with very few words n then wonders why he never gets much responce i have given up with those and prefer to talk in chatroom duno why we do it ths way but you can tell if you are talking to a man or woman id personally prefer to talk to the fems
i (fem) do all the talking in th chatroom and forum dek usually does the message writing after he has perved the gallary or photo ads with very few words n then wonders why he never gets much responce i have given up with those and prefer to talk in chatroom duno why we do it ths way but you can tell if you are talking to a man or woman id personally prefer to talk to the fems
Quote by doubleyourfun69
I don't think u are expecting too much at all.
When we meet couples, I (Mrs D here) want to chat to both sexes to ensure that they are both keen and that there is some chemistry. Have chatted with "couples" who only seem to consist of a single man!!
Stick to ur guns girl !
Ali xxx
I reply to all ours as well.... Ne-ff-ffm I dont think you are being unreasonable at all.... I would expect the same thing as well
Quote by jaymar
I'm with you... I think possibly when the man is writing to you he is doing it with the view of actually wanting to see his partner/wife with you for his own pleasure.
. . . . . and possibly without the knowledge, approval, support of his wife/girlfriend/fb
I think not in the particular example given, but there is a bit of it about
With us, it's quite simple . . . .
If you want to fuck me, seduce me.
If you want to fuck her, seduce her.
And guess what.
If you want to fuck us both . . . . . . . . . . seduce us both :thumbup:
Although many of the people that swing are part of a "stable relationship" - are they not still individuals ???????????
With their own wants, desires, needs and wishes :dunno:
Quote by dambuster
. . . . . and possibly without the knowledge, approval, support of his wife/girlfriend/fb
I think not in the particular example given, but there is a bit of it about
With us, it's quite simple . . . .
If you want to fuck me, seduce me.
If you want to fuck her, seduce her.
And guess what.
If you want to fuck us both . . . . . . . . . . seduce us both :thumbup:
Although many of the people that swing are part of a "stable relationship" - are they not still individuals ???????????
With their own wants, desires, needs and wishes :dunno:
:notes:
Sex God
Nope nothing wrong with your view of it at all.........
We only play with guys, but H has to have contact with the guy, so that she feels right about it. If we were looking for a Bi-Fem the same rule would apply H would have that contact. ..... so no your not being paranoid or anything.
M
We only play with guys, but H has to have contact with the guy, so that she feels right about it. If we were looking for a Bi-Fem the same rule would apply H would have that contact. ..... so no your not being paranoid or anything.
M
Dear everone, i cant tell u how I needed to read your comments. Close to bursting here. I had genuinely NO idea what response I'd get, and after getting the mails from the man part of the couple, I'm almost convinced that I really am a screwed up f**ked person, as he emailed me lastnight. I've emailed a Mod for help about this. I was paranoid becaue I couldnt log on for hours, and wanted to do so to cancel my membership that's due for renewal next week. without a membership I could still use the forums, which is properly hilarious at times. Love it.. As for ads/seeking/advertising, i'm giving it arms length.
the man once sent me 6 emails in a row on SH. I sent one back to the tune of "I've just joined, please give me space to browse. Whilst I believe there is a couple reading this (a man & woman) I am not getting FEEL of the missus, because she has never PMd/emailed, and it's so male-led. would u not think I'd appreciate a message from her?"
so I got a message from "her" - which basically looked as identical in writing as his, but by this point I was so peeved off, i wanted them out of my Inbox pronto. He sent 3 more consecutive emails tyring to prove they were genuine ( i didnt NEED any more proof they were real, I just didnt fancy them the moment I saw their profile, and frankly never will! 9 days pass, and he emails me " we're still waiting for your reply, balls in your court, how would u like to proceed?".
To which I send them a more than frank email to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Then starts the swearing and profoundly personal assumptions he is so sure about me, and crazy beyond belief opinions about SH in general.
I said I was seeking NSA play. He has the nerve to tell me that he hopes that I will one day find an intimate emotional connection with a man at some point in my sad life and get real becasue NSA is NOT real intimate emotional relationships.
wtf??
NSA is precisely that! No strings attached! this guy recommending i try an emotional rel'ship??!! HELLO? demeaning me for being shallow and narrowminded as to resort to NSA instead of an adult emotional relationship.. (vaguely his words).. I could go on and tell u how he finsihed off telling me his native american ancestors story (he's caucasian). the moralbeing i was screwed and twosted and paranoid, and he wasnt. or his calling me f*ked because I like phonesex and cyber or how he thinks exdirectory members of the public are paranoid because they are ex-directory with something sinister to hide (i never gave him my tel number).
okay, i need lie down. this barely scrapes the surface, and is a bit messy. all i said 2 weeks ago was 'thanks no thanks' ...
FFS!
the man once sent me 6 emails in a row on SH. I sent one back to the tune of "I've just joined, please give me space to browse. Whilst I believe there is a couple reading this (a man & woman) I am not getting FEEL of the missus, because she has never PMd/emailed, and it's so male-led. would u not think I'd appreciate a message from her?"
so I got a message from "her" - which basically looked as identical in writing as his, but by this point I was so peeved off, i wanted them out of my Inbox pronto. He sent 3 more consecutive emails tyring to prove they were genuine ( i didnt NEED any more proof they were real, I just didnt fancy them the moment I saw their profile, and frankly never will! 9 days pass, and he emails me " we're still waiting for your reply, balls in your court, how would u like to proceed?".
To which I send them a more than frank email to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Then starts the swearing and profoundly personal assumptions he is so sure about me, and crazy beyond belief opinions about SH in general.
I said I was seeking NSA play. He has the nerve to tell me that he hopes that I will one day find an intimate emotional connection with a man at some point in my sad life and get real becasue NSA is NOT real intimate emotional relationships.
wtf??
NSA is precisely that! No strings attached! this guy recommending i try an emotional rel'ship??!! HELLO? demeaning me for being shallow and narrowminded as to resort to NSA instead of an adult emotional relationship.. (vaguely his words).. I could go on and tell u how he finsihed off telling me his native american ancestors story (he's caucasian). the moralbeing i was screwed and twosted and paranoid, and he wasnt. or his calling me f*ked because I like phonesex and cyber or how he thinks exdirectory members of the public are paranoid because they are ex-directory with something sinister to hide (i never gave him my tel number).
okay, i need lie down. this barely scrapes the surface, and is a bit messy. all i said 2 weeks ago was 'thanks no thanks' ...
FFS!
:therethere:
It sounds like you've been having a inbox nightmare!!!!
I'm glad you posted here and didn't cancel your account
You shouldn't lose out on enjoying yourself because of 1 tosser.
If I were you I'd select the ignore button so you never get another pm from this sorry individual :thumbup:
It sounds like you've been having a inbox nightmare!!!!
I'm glad you posted here and didn't cancel your account
You shouldn't lose out on enjoying yourself because of 1 tosser.
If I were you I'd select the ignore button so you never get another pm from this sorry individual :thumbup:
Sex God
Ahhhh Ok so it sounds like the following..........
The guy is probably single, or married and his wife don't play, or married and he'll get his wife to play somehow...
You said no and he got all hurt and threw his toys out the pram cos you rejected him/them.
We had an incident the other week where we said no to a guy, and we explained our reasons. OK in our case the guy just walked away, but had he become a pain we'd have reported him. You should do the same....
We're all here for fun, not for some twat to try and play mind games with us.
M
The guy is probably single, or married and his wife don't play, or married and he'll get his wife to play somehow...
You said no and he got all hurt and threw his toys out the pram cos you rejected him/them.
We had an incident the other week where we said no to a guy, and we explained our reasons. OK in our case the guy just walked away, but had he become a pain we'd have reported him. You should do the same....
We're all here for fun, not for some twat to try and play mind games with us.
M
I might get banned for doing this, but reading this email i got lastnight (not PM) was the final straw. Yes, I basically rejected them, and this bloke couldnt GET it. EVER.
Darling, you are paranoid and screwed up, even fucked up.
We have not lied but you suspect everything.
Trust and honesty is everything in this world and in sexual fun especially.
You have called me and (her name deleted) both liars!
Her message to you says it all. Re read it yourself and know that it is
honest and true.
You are the one who has insulted us, not the other way around. I have no
wish to offend you in any way, but I am offended by anyone who calls me a
liar and accuses me of something I am not and did not do. Most
psychologists and shrinks and counsellors are already victims of mental
illness. Just check the stats on that if you doubt it.
(i dont know what i accused them of. they are genuine, and i believed them to be a man/woman, but they think that not meeting them, i am in effect saying that i STILL dont believe theyre a man and woman!) FFS I believed them 2 weeks ago, and didnt WANT anymore proof. All I said is that mails have been written by Mister, and I never "FELT MISS'S presence. He misunderstood this and banged on ' there IS a woman, how dare u call us a liar!" .. point is I Did believe them, but he didnt get the bit where I said that I felt no presence or chemistyr with the missus b/c she never mailed.. and thy STILL havent got it at time of writing.
his email goes on:
As for "noting in ....to say it was written by a female".... well, this is
just type fonts and you could be a fat old bald geezer pretending as well.
So, you don't want to find out if anything is true or false. Instead you
prejudge and conclude whatever your mind tells you to do. Well, psychology
will not progress until science enters into it. That means that you must go
on evidence and proof. You talk bullshit here and draw conclusions from
bullshit. .......... not unlike most people! There is NO CHEMISTRY from
typography. You need the other senses like smell, sight, touch, feel,
hearing, mind, timing, body language, taste and not a little intuition.
Relationships are made not happen. Phone sex and chats are bullshit. The
ultimate Safe sex yes, but not sex at all, just bullshit. REad playboy etc
if that's what you are after. Phone sex sucks and so does the internet. Real
relationships are where it's at not virtual reality crap! I don't care if
you fancy me or her at all. But you will never know unless you meet us face
to face.
I could pretend I fancy Kylie or Cruz or etc. but that's bullshit until I
meet her in person. I've been a photographer and portrait painter for far
too long to fall for that bullshit. It IS everything to do with being
genuine. Chemistry is the rule supporting that fact. You are merely a
shallow narrowminded person who has no curiosity about anything and
certainly no adventure.
You ask if I would give anyone my contact details. Well, yes I would. In
fact I had a life before this internet bullshit and I have had countless
thousands of business cards printed and distributed for many years, so yes,
I would and have given my contact details to thousands of people. Get real!
Communication is what it is all about. The Phone Book has my contact
details in it as well as millions of others. Ex Directory is just paranoid
behaviour unless they have something to hide. I don't have a bullshit celeb
life so I don't have to hide myself away to protect my privacy. I have
nothing to hide, and you can google me as much as you like. I am an open
person and not afraid of anyone. What "wrong hands" would you have in mind
to get hold of my details?
You cannot know you fancy these people you met tonight before you meet them.
50/50 is the best anyone can say. I speak from long experience but you will
believe anything you want to.
I can only say one thing to you and that is a story from one of my own
personal ancestors:
An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight,
and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope,
sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside
of you and every other person too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied..."The one I feed."
You are feeding the wrong wolf.
Go in peace.
remind me someone i dont expect this when i say 'thanks no thanks, right? good god! if i get banned for pasting his email goodbye everyone! I'm out of here.. :O(
X
Darling, you are paranoid and screwed up, even fucked up.
We have not lied but you suspect everything.
Trust and honesty is everything in this world and in sexual fun especially.
You have called me and (her name deleted) both liars!
Her message to you says it all. Re read it yourself and know that it is
honest and true.
You are the one who has insulted us, not the other way around. I have no
wish to offend you in any way, but I am offended by anyone who calls me a
liar and accuses me of something I am not and did not do. Most
psychologists and shrinks and counsellors are already victims of mental
illness. Just check the stats on that if you doubt it.
(i dont know what i accused them of. they are genuine, and i believed them to be a man/woman, but they think that not meeting them, i am in effect saying that i STILL dont believe theyre a man and woman!) FFS I believed them 2 weeks ago, and didnt WANT anymore proof. All I said is that mails have been written by Mister, and I never "FELT MISS'S presence. He misunderstood this and banged on ' there IS a woman, how dare u call us a liar!" .. point is I Did believe them, but he didnt get the bit where I said that I felt no presence or chemistyr with the missus b/c she never mailed.. and thy STILL havent got it at time of writing.
his email goes on:
As for "noting in ....to say it was written by a female".... well, this is
just type fonts and you could be a fat old bald geezer pretending as well.
So, you don't want to find out if anything is true or false. Instead you
prejudge and conclude whatever your mind tells you to do. Well, psychology
will not progress until science enters into it. That means that you must go
on evidence and proof. You talk bullshit here and draw conclusions from
bullshit. .......... not unlike most people! There is NO CHEMISTRY from
typography. You need the other senses like smell, sight, touch, feel,
hearing, mind, timing, body language, taste and not a little intuition.
Relationships are made not happen. Phone sex and chats are bullshit. The
ultimate Safe sex yes, but not sex at all, just bullshit. REad playboy etc
if that's what you are after. Phone sex sucks and so does the internet. Real
relationships are where it's at not virtual reality crap! I don't care if
you fancy me or her at all. But you will never know unless you meet us face
to face.
I could pretend I fancy Kylie or Cruz or etc. but that's bullshit until I
meet her in person. I've been a photographer and portrait painter for far
too long to fall for that bullshit. It IS everything to do with being
genuine. Chemistry is the rule supporting that fact. You are merely a
shallow narrowminded person who has no curiosity about anything and
certainly no adventure.
You ask if I would give anyone my contact details. Well, yes I would. In
fact I had a life before this internet bullshit and I have had countless
thousands of business cards printed and distributed for many years, so yes,
I would and have given my contact details to thousands of people. Get real!
Communication is what it is all about. The Phone Book has my contact
details in it as well as millions of others. Ex Directory is just paranoid
behaviour unless they have something to hide. I don't have a bullshit celeb
life so I don't have to hide myself away to protect my privacy. I have
nothing to hide, and you can google me as much as you like. I am an open
person and not afraid of anyone. What "wrong hands" would you have in mind
to get hold of my details?
You cannot know you fancy these people you met tonight before you meet them.
50/50 is the best anyone can say. I speak from long experience but you will
believe anything you want to.
I can only say one thing to you and that is a story from one of my own
personal ancestors:
An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight,
and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope,
sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside
of you and every other person too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied..."The one I feed."
You are feeding the wrong wolf.
Go in peace.
remind me someone i dont expect this when i say 'thanks no thanks, right? good god! if i get banned for pasting his email goodbye everyone! I'm out of here.. :O(
X
Quote by dambuster
I'm with you... I think possibly when the man is writing to you he is doing it with the view of actually wanting to see his partner/wife with you for his own pleasure.
. . . . . and possibly without the knowledge, approval, support of his wife/girlfriend/fb
I think not in the particular example given, but there is a bit of it about
With us, it's quite simple . . . .
If you want to fuck me, seduce me.
If you want to fuck her, seduce her.
And guess what.
If you want to fuck us both . . . . . . . . . . seduce us both :thumbup:
Although many of the people that swing are part of a "stable relationship" - are they not still individuals ???????????
With their own wants, desires, needs and wishes :dunno:
Oh god yes, I can imagine a lot of men are doing just that! and that is actually what I was referring to in a way, it is sometimes the man who does the chasing for his own benefit.
You have an abrupt way of putting things dambuster.. but you are very correct!
He is one fucked up bloke 
I think he is trying to bully you in to meeting with him, laying all the blame at your feet.... He is manipulative adn controlling.... Complete :loon:
The one thing that puts me off more than anything is the persistant PM's adn emails. Not to mention how they try to claim all your attention in the chatroom, trying to keep you that busy talking to them that you dont have any time to talk to others...
I put on my profile that I have permission to play alone and there were 3 couples that hounded me instantly.... I have not and will no meet these people...
Hopefully the Mod's have sorted him out for you
I think he is trying to bully you in to meeting with him, laying all the blame at your feet.... He is manipulative adn controlling.... Complete :loon:The one thing that puts me off more than anything is the persistant PM's adn emails. Not to mention how they try to claim all your attention in the chatroom, trying to keep you that busy talking to them that you dont have any time to talk to others...
I put on my profile that I have permission to play alone and there were 3 couples that hounded me instantly.... I have not and will no meet these people...
Hopefully the Mod's have sorted him out for you
