Something i actually do think about.......OK OK i can here ya!
How do you no that person you have arranged to meet is Safe?
I get to know a few people on MSN and here first then I would neet with them at a munch or other well populated social event .. then and only then would I feel comfortable enough to arrange a private social drink ....
Paranoid? possibly but never had a bad experience yet
C x
debs.. any one worth meeting would understand you need for feeling safe.. so would be happy to go along with ANY precautions you feel you need. if they refuse.. they are not worth meeting. i agree that instinct is very important when making plans for meets.. if anything feels even slightly wrong... forget it.
xxxxx
Yip
we'd go with that too.
Instinct means a lot. If it just doesn't feel right at the time, walk away. That's why the public place meeting is so important for the first time but we do believe that spending some time on MSN can give you a bit of an insight into others as well.
the Laird
As a bloke, it's a lot easier to meet strange people because if they try it on, I can just twat them but I can fully understand that it would be a lot more dangerous for a woman meeting somebody alone for the first time.
Let's just say that if I was looking to meet a woman and had managed to get through the screening process of e-mails and MSN, I would be a fool not to let the woman take all the safety steps she needed to to be comfortable.
I guess there's not much fun in meeting a new guy if all you can think about is "OMG, what if he turns awkward?"
The short version of that is that several meets in the company of others is no hardship if you both still fancy the pants off each other.
Well i trust my instincts and i also like chatting a lot first too. Im inquisitive and ask a lot of questions and if i trip them up, or they answer in an odd way, then that sets alarm bells ringing.
Also in the past have used a person to call when im safe etc.
I haven't had any meets yet (in no rush).
I feel its right to talk by e-mail, msn and if you feel ok thus far, a public social meeting is the next logical step so you can suss each other out more, if your not completely happy then you needn't take things any further.
at the minute I am talking with somebody , so far we have spent 3 months chatting via msn, e-mail and telephone, we hope to make a meeting this week, probly meet at a prominent landmark in city center then go to the cafe next door
she is well worth taking all the time with, I dont mind the wait, not when we both know that we have taken all precautions to ensure the safety of each other that is possible. It isnt a lack of trust that makes us take the precautions, if the trust wasnt there we wouldnt even be meeting ffs, but it makes sense to both of us, be safe, be safe, be safe
Most of us practice safe sex all the time, well safe sex starts with a safe meeting
be safe, be happy
I think this is the most important topic I've seen raised here and I am glad and reassured to see such a positive response - absolutely safety comes first. You have to feel comfortable before you can begin to think about anything else... which is why a post in one of the forums recently from someone (a guy) saying they wanted to be worried me. is far too serious a matter, and so is all physical violence, in my view, unless that happens to be what turns you on and in that case you know all about the special precautions you need to take. I know 1 woman personally and 1 friend of a friend who've had that terrible experience and it is not a laughing matter, ever.
So if I was up for a meet, the first thing would be to convey that she will be safe with me, and the second is that I need to know that I'll be safe with her and that no-one is going to creep up behind me when I am otherwise engaged. That may be done explicitly, or maybe be implicit non-verbal signals. But it must be done. If you are in any doubt, don't meet.
WW
Meet somewhere public. Go with other people. Have same room fun with a group. There are clubs with rest rooms for one on one meetings. Go there with friends and use the rest rooms with the new partner.
The bottom line is that it is all down to instinct.
Chatting on MSN enables me suss out the odd balls (no pun)Men who are too pusshy or whos stories just dont sound right dont stand a chance. Im looking for a real person with personality which is far more important than cock size or alleged perfomance id be very warry who of a guy who makes exagerated claims about his performane or equipment.
I would only agree to meet someone when i was ready and then it would have to be a location that i had chosen. Im afraid I dont have time for preliminary meetings so by the time we arrange a rendevous i have to be fairly certain. After saying that id still, almost always insist on coffee or a drink furst , just in case.
As back up my h/b always knows where i am and i normally text him to say that im ok.
Working on these guidlines i have been fortunate enough to meet some really nice men and enjoyed everyone of them!!
As a single bloke, I have no problem at all with a woman being a bit paranoid about safety. I ALWAYS ask her where she would like to meet, & make the point that it should be somewhere that she feels safe meeting a stranger. Occasionally a woman has said that she has to ring a friend to let them know she is safe etc. I'm not aware of having known anyone who has suffered the experience of being attacked or , but there must be few things worse than that.
Personally I dont feel safe until way after Silky has done up the handcuffs , and the rohypnol has kicked in properly .