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When swinging becomes the norm.
Sexpert
not while the press dictate how the mindles masses will think. As long as they use the terms of perverted sex acts, or sleazy doggers etc, the masses will think of it as bad! 
Orgasminator
Quote by Suffolk-cpl
not while the press dictate how the mindles masses will think. As long as they use the terms of perverted sex acts, or ]sleazy doggers etc, the masses will think of it as bad!
Sounds Fantastic
Warming the Bed
Quote by Suffolk-cpl
not while the press dictate how the mindles masses will think. As long as they use the terms of perverted sex acts, or sleazy doggers etc, the masses will think of it as bad!
Sorry, Suffolk couple, you're a little out of date. Some very brave swingers (Dirty David and Jojo, and Richard and Janet come to mind) have deliberately put their heads above the parapet and appeared on TV programmes, newspaper features, etc. Gradually, public opinion is changing. I said on another thread how my local paper picked up on Richard & Janet's appearance on a TV programme, and paraded them on the front page. The reaction from the local community was zilch - apart from the neighbours complaining about inconsiderate car-parking.
The truth is that we are tolerated - and that is all we should aim for. Looking for society's approval is, I think, a step too far.
Quote by hotrod39
not while the press dictate how the mindles masses will think. As long as they use the terms of perverted sex acts, or sleazy doggers etc, the masses will think of it as bad!
Sorry, Suffolk couple, you're a little out of date. Some very brave swingers (Dirty David and Jojo, and Richard and Janet come to mind) have deliberately put their heads above the parapet and appeared on TV programmes, newspaper features, etc. Gradually, public opinion is changing. I said on another thread how my local paper picked up on Richard & Janet's appearance on a TV programme, and paraded them on the front page. The reaction from the local community was zilch - apart from the neighbours complaining about inconsiderate car-parking.
The truth is that we are tolerated - and that is all we should aim for. Looking for society's approval is, I think, a step too far.
But why should we be just "tolerated"....i'm not looking for approval just acceptance of what we do......
Warming the Bed
Quote by da69ve
But why should we be just "tolerated"....i'm not looking for approval just acceptance of what we do......
That is exactly what tolerance is!
There is also such a thing as free speech, so people are entitled to voice their opinions of us... just as we are entitled to voice our opinions of them. Quote by hotrod39
But why should we be just "tolerated"....i'm not looking for approval just acceptance of what we do......
That is exactly what tolerance is!
There is also such a thing as free speech, so people are entitled to voice their opinions of us... just as we are entitled to voice our opinions of them.Tolerance in my book means putting up with something wether you like it or not....i would like swinging to be accepted as a normal activity for adults.
Master of Sex
Quote by da69ve
But why should we be just "tolerated"....i'm not looking for approval just acceptance of what we do......
That is exactly what tolerance is!
There is also such a thing as free speech, so people are entitled to voice their opinions of us... just as we are entitled to voice our opinions of them.Tolerance in my book means putting up with something wether you like it or not....i would like swinging to be accepted as a normal activity for adults.
So would I, but you have to accept the fact that some people will never accept anything that appears to be outside of the 'norm'. What I find is best is to be as tolerant of those who are intolerant - if you were to see two people arguing and one is shouting and screaming abuse and the other is quietly and politely putting forward their case, which would you side with?
is it not best to keep the status quo though? keep it all underground i say cos from past experience of other things not connected when it go's mainstream it will not be the same and die a death,it will be watered down over exposed and commercialised!! please please please never ever let this happen as it will be th death of the word "fun" as we know it.
theres my two penneth worth anyway,for what its worth lol
theres my two penneth worth anyway,for what its worth lol
Warming the Bed
Quote by da69ve
Tolerance in my book means putting up with something wether you like it or not....i would like swinging to be accepted as a normal activity for adults.
I doubt if it will ever be seen as 'normal', in the way that couples living together is now seen as 'normal'.
I suppose it depends on how we see ourselves. Personally, I don't want to be defined as a 'swinger', simply as an ordinary person who happens to enjoy recreational sex as a, well, hobby.
It is tempting to follow the example of some gays, who want to be defined by their sexual orientation, like Peter Tatchell - that they are, first and foremost, homosexual. I think that's a blind alley. Much better, I think, is the example of Matthew Parris - journalist, former politician, plenty of interests and enthusiasms, rounded human being - who makes no secret of being gay. He just doesn't make a great song and dance about it either.
The question is, why would we want swinging to be seen as normal?
Sex God
Quote by robbie_rob
is it not best to keep the status quo though? keep it all underground i say cos from past experience of other things not connected when it go's mainstream it will not be the same and die a death,it will be watered down over exposed and commercialised!! please please please never ever let this happen as it will be th death of the word "fun" as we know it.
theres my two penneth worth anyway,for what its worth lol
Not quite sure about this
........ when we have sexual encounters of the swinging kind they are shared acts between us and the people we are with, and as such are great fun.....It doesn't matter if we are the only swingers in the world, or every man, woman and their dog is at it (not litarally obviously !), the experience for us will still be the same.
The issue with tolerance/acceptance for us and many like us, has more to do with not having to hide our actions for fear of repurcussions in our everyday lives...... fears which are real and frankly have affected other less fortunate couples.
M
Casanova
Fun, normal, kinky....oh to be able to define those words.I feel swinging is far more acceptable to most "nilla" people, than BDSM.
Life is about choices. So long as its safe, sane and consensual between adults, my motto is live and let live.
"i may be a submissive, but i have a mind of my own....when he lets me "
:grin:
dee xx
Life is about choices. So long as its safe, sane and consensual between adults, my motto is live and let live.
"i may be a submissive, but i have a mind of my own....when he lets me "
:grin:
dee xx
Why would you want to discuss your sex life with your family and friends? If I had kids I wouldn't want to discuss it with them, no matter how old they were. Nor my Aunty Sally, cousin Bill...Were you thinking of recruiting them in the fold? Surely what you get up to in the bedroom (or someone else's) is private?
Homosexuality is a little different - it is a way of life 24/7 - but swinging is a pastime, something you do with your partner, to improve/maintain your sex life. Would you want to tell your parents about tying your partner up and probing her with a dildo, watching her be screwed by a total stranger? Or that you seek out single men lurking at dogging sites? Would they want to know? Would they want to know that you spent the night romping around with Chris and Jenny from down the road? Would you want to know what your old mum was really doing at those Bridge meetings?
I find your wish a little odd, Da69ve.
Why publicise the fact that you seek sex outside the marriage? Surely the world is messed up enough without promoting this more? There are reasons why swinging is meant to remain clandestine....and IMHO it has always gone on - there was just never a need to shout about it.
Homosexuality is a little different - it is a way of life 24/7 - but swinging is a pastime, something you do with your partner, to improve/maintain your sex life. Would you want to tell your parents about tying your partner up and probing her with a dildo, watching her be screwed by a total stranger? Or that you seek out single men lurking at dogging sites? Would they want to know? Would they want to know that you spent the night romping around with Chris and Jenny from down the road? Would you want to know what your old mum was really doing at those Bridge meetings?
I find your wish a little odd, Da69ve.
Why publicise the fact that you seek sex outside the marriage? Surely the world is messed up enough without promoting this more? There are reasons why swinging is meant to remain clandestine....and IMHO it has always gone on - there was just never a need to shout about it.
The reality is that monogamous relationships are in the minority. Divorce rates are increasing.... most people cheat on their partners/spouses and some are open about it but most are not. In the future I think most people will accept multiple sexual partners but it wont be called swinging.
Master of Sex
Quote by da69ve
.....will the day come when swinging is part of everyday life and the vanillas will be the minority.
hmmmm, a delightful can of worms...!
There is a huge amount of stuff written on this site about what swinging actually is. Some approach it by definition, some by experience, some by desire. What's for sure is that there is no common ground and many members make the dangerous assumption that what they do is "correct." There are many mentions on this site, typically, "we all know what we're here for" which couldn't be further from the truth.
Would you really wish that this subject be brought further into the public eye..?
The documentaries etc. that we've seen on tv don't really explore the lifestyle thoroughly other than trying to dismiss the key-rings in the bowl cliche.
Personally, the deeper it's buried the more comfortable we'll be..!! We'd so hate to be tarred with the wrong brush.
Quote by BerryBelinda
Why would you want to discuss your sex life with your family and friends? If I had kids I wouldn't want to discuss it with them, no matter how old they were. Nor my Aunty Sally, cousin Bill...Were you thinking of recruiting them in the fold? Surely what you get up to in the bedroom (or someone else's) is private?
Homosexuality is a little different - it is a way of life 24/7 - but swinging is a pastime, something you do with your partner, to improve/maintain your sex life. Would you want to tell your parents about tying your partner up and probing her with a dildo, watching her be screwed by a total stranger? Or that you seek out single men lurking at dogging sites? Would they want to know? Would they want to know that you spent the night romping around with Chris and Jenny from down the road? Would you want to know what your old mum was really doing at those Bridge meetings?
I find your wish a little odd, Da69ve.
Why publicise the fact that you seek sex outside the marriage? Surely the world is messed up enough without promoting this more? There are reasons why swinging is meant to remain clandestine....and IMHO it has always gone on - there was just never a need to shout about it.
Who said anything about discussing it with family and friends i said just admitting it without them freaking out.....but it has been pointed out above with your swinging lifestyle being exposed through the tabloid newspapers and your family finding out that way...it could be devastating for you.....but it wouldn't be if this lifestyle was accepted rather than being considered sordid and depraved...favourite words used by the NOTW.
Its not a wish...it would just be nice for swinging to be accepted, as being gay is accepted by the majority of the population.
not not about shouting it from the roof tops either....but if people did find out i would rather they just shrugged their shoulders and say"everyone to their own"...rather than be shocked and disgusted.
By the way wasn't you banned.....go find someone else to antagonise!...
I was in a debate on another forum (Proudly holding our corner - fuck what people think) where several people believed that nearly every female swinging was OBVIOUSLY in an abusive, unstable and cruel relationship.
There were also a LOT of people who genuinely couldn't see the difference between couples swinging together and an affair (So, if you make the choice to swing as a couple you've given the girl* the go ahead to go after any man she pleases with or without you)
*Yes, it was a very one way sexist 'conversation'
That no straight man would voluntarily have anything to do with a MMF.
And so on.
I should add that it's a BIG forum and it seemed to echo the scary opinions of the average population. I don't think it's gonna happen soon - not until people figure out that because somebodies lifestyle is different doesn't automatically make it immoral or evil.
Sadly, we've still got a HUGE victorian hangover, despite how modern society feels. Why can't people just live and let live?
There were also a LOT of people who genuinely couldn't see the difference between couples swinging together and an affair (So, if you make the choice to swing as a couple you've given the girl* the go ahead to go after any man she pleases with or without you)
*Yes, it was a very one way sexist 'conversation'
That no straight man would voluntarily have anything to do with a MMF.
And so on.
I should add that it's a BIG forum and it seemed to echo the scary opinions of the average population. I don't think it's gonna happen soon - not until people figure out that because somebodies lifestyle is different doesn't automatically make it immoral or evil.
Sadly, we've still got a HUGE victorian hangover, despite how modern society feels. Why can't people just live and let live?
Master of Sex
Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was in a debate on another forum (Proudly holding our corner - fuck what people think) where several people believed that nearly every female swinging was OBVIOUSLY in an abusive, unstable and cruel relationship.
I've heard the same said about people on the fet scene - the woman are supposed to be all abused and the men mentally unstable.
As with a lot of other things, it's ignorance hiding itself as fact.
I sometimes think that the best attitude to have is the old Scots Calvinist attitude - one of "What you do is your business and no-one else's"
I should add that it's a BIG forum and it seemed to echo the scary opinions of the average population. I don't think it's gonna happen soon - not until people figure out that because somebodies lifestyle is different doesn't automatically make it immoral or evil.
There are sadly still people like that - I remember being in a bar when the news of the Harold Shipman murders was coming to light. One idiot was heard to say that it was inevitable "Because there was one of they wife swapping clubs down there".
When I asked him what he meant, he said "It's obvious"
I asked again and he said "Fuck off ya pervert"
It's a sad fact of life that there will be people who will always hold these attitudes, what's even sadder is that many of them work in the media.
Quote by da69ve
when will we be able to admit it to family and friends without them possibly freaking out!.....will the day come when swinging is part of everyday life and the vanillas will be the minority.
Quote by da69ve
if people did find out i would rather they just shrugged their shoulders and say"everyone to their own"...rather than be shocked and disgusted.
Admitting you are a swinging to family and friends is equivalent to telling your children/aunt/granny/neighbour - and they, in turn, could do the same, if it were all above board and acceptable - hence my first post.
It still consitutes telling your family about your private sex life, and vice versa. I see it as the difference between keeping your selection of sex toys hidden in a drawer in your bedroom or put on display in the lounge. Some things are not meant to be shared with everyone ....
And where would the fun in swinging be if everyone knew about it? Surely the clandestinity of it makes it more exciting?
If swingers were the majority, what would the chances be of you going to a party and your mum being there?
Quote by da69ve
By the way wasn't you banned.....go find someone else to antagonise!...
No Dave, I'm still here, as you can see, and I'm not 'antagonising' you - just stating my opinion. So because I disagree with you I am antagonistic?
Quote by BerryBelinda
when will we be able to admit it to family and friends without them possibly freaking out!.....will the day come when swinging is part of everyday life and the vanillas will be the minority.
Quote by da69ve
if people did find out i would rather they just shrugged their shoulders and say"everyone to their own"...rather than be shocked and disgusted.
Admitting you are a swinging to family and friends is equivalent to telling your children/aunt/granny/neighbour - and they, in turn, could do the same, if it were all above board and acceptable - hence my first post.
It still consitutes telling your family about your private sex life, and vice versa. I see it as the difference between keeping your selection of sex toys hidden in a drawer in your bedroom or put on display in the lounge. Some things are not meant to be shared with everyone ....
And where would the fun in swinging be if everyone knew about it? Surely the clandestinity of it makes it more exciting?
If swingers were the majority, what would the chances be of you going to a party and your mum being there?
Quote by da69ve
By the way wasn't you banned.....go find someone else to antagonise!...
No Dave, I'm still here, as you can see, and I'm not 'antagonising' you - just stating my opinion. So because I disagree with you I am antagonistic?
You seem to be missing the point here...Rach! as i have said its not about telling every Tom ,Dick and Harry about your private life and its not about getting them to join in,its about people just accepting it for what it is if they ever found out and not making some big deal about it being wrong....and you were antagonising me because you totally twisted my words in your post and over exagerated it,it was a little over the top,don't you think......And don't say it wasn't...as that won't wash with me,i know what your like!
How about you keep out of my posts and i keep out of yours.
