not that sex isnt any good lolol
just seems peeps just want the sex and it seems so clinical
just woundering if we was alone in these ideals
have fun and be good
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u gotta like the ppl and build some kind of friendship before thinking about sex if you are meeting someone for the first time say at a pub but that can change a bit if you go to a club as ppl do tend to get involved more with whats going on around them and find themselves playing with other ppl that they have not met said that the friendship is more important to us than sex and we love the many ppl that know us on here are aware mrs pleasure is almost deaf so conversation can be a little fuzzy for her to pick up but she loves to meet and chat to all the ppl on here
Quote by lordnlady
who else thinks friendship and fun are more important than the sex :
It depends what you're looking for and who you're talking about? Friendship isn't always the aim of a sexual encounter and sexual encounters without the desire to build a friendship first (rapport isn't the same as friendship) don't have to be clinical either! Neither has to be more important.
Warming the Bed
As one of those "elusive,single, bi fems" (how I love the air of mystery that description seems to give me!...LOL),I have to agree with lordnlady.
I'm often shocked by the crude nature of some messages I get from people(couples,fems and men alike!) .....whatever happened to diplomacy and tact?
I wouldn't dream of introducing myself to anyone with some of the one-liners I've had.
I think the anonymous nature of the net makes it easier....your average bloke in the pub is probably thinking exactly the same thing but knows he'd more than likely get a swift kick in the gonads were he to chat someone up with that kind of line!
I understand that some may be fed up with time-wasters or may just feel in a hurry to meet a like-minded person but surely a quick "Hello,how are you?"....isn't too much of an issue before coming out with what you are looking for?
Friendship is very important to me because with it comes an understanding that the person you're talking to is more prepared to make an effort,be more considerate of your feelings and is a little more laid back thus less pushy.
More mateyness is required all round,I say.....that's why i like visiting these boards,thanks to a few bad experiences when I first got online,I had a very poor outlook on this "lifestyle choice" but sites like this(and there's very few in existence!) have really opened my eyes and helped me to feel more at ease within the scene.
God,that turned into a bit of a rant....
..sorry for usurping your post just a little there,lordnlady....Oops!
I'm often shocked by the crude nature of some messages I get from people(couples,fems and men alike!) .....whatever happened to diplomacy and tact?
I wouldn't dream of introducing myself to anyone with some of the one-liners I've had.
I think the anonymous nature of the net makes it easier....your average bloke in the pub is probably thinking exactly the same thing but knows he'd more than likely get a swift kick in the gonads were he to chat someone up with that kind of line!
I understand that some may be fed up with time-wasters or may just feel in a hurry to meet a like-minded person but surely a quick "Hello,how are you?"....isn't too much of an issue before coming out with what you are looking for?
Friendship is very important to me because with it comes an understanding that the person you're talking to is more prepared to make an effort,be more considerate of your feelings and is a little more laid back thus less pushy.
More mateyness is required all round,I say.....that's why i like visiting these boards,thanks to a few bad experiences when I first got online,I had a very poor outlook on this "lifestyle choice" but sites like this(and there's very few in existence!) have really opened my eyes and helped me to feel more at ease within the scene.
God,that turned into a bit of a rant....
..sorry for usurping your post just a little there,lordnlady....Oops!
One mans meat is another mans poison!!
We dont all think the same, behave the same and certainly dont all have the same needs!There are many on here that would love a "quicky" but there are also many that wouldnt entertain such a clinical act!!
Everyone to their own but to get to know someone and then go thurther is our preferance, we've had experiance of both so can make our choice from experiance
We think theres more to swinging than just sex and to meet and make friends is just as much a part of our swinging lifestyle as it is the sexual side of things
In short if youre having fun and everyone involved is consenting and not hurting anyone then wheres the problem?
Mr & Mrs goodtimez
We dont all think the same, behave the same and certainly dont all have the same needs!There are many on here that would love a "quicky" but there are also many that wouldnt entertain such a clinical act!!
Everyone to their own but to get to know someone and then go thurther is our preferance, we've had experiance of both so can make our choice from experiance
We think theres more to swinging than just sex and to meet and make friends is just as much a part of our swinging lifestyle as it is the sexual side of things
In short if youre having fun and everyone involved is consenting and not hurting anyone then wheres the problem?
Mr & Mrs goodtimez
Sex God
I agree with angel, as another single bi fem, the mount of messages that are just plain fecking rude is astounding.
I much prefer people that I have met before or have some sort of interaction with, in chat, on forums, at socials and munches etc, for me sex is better and more comfotable with people I have have knowledge of and know that I like them.
I much prefer people that I have met before or have some sort of interaction with, in chat, on forums, at socials and munches etc, for me sex is better and more comfotable with people I have have knowledge of and know that I like them.
Quote by Alexandra
My feeling is that really great sex only comes when you have the friendship there too.
I agree sex without friendship to me is just clinical.
But everyone is different a lot of other people will disagree!
Alex x
I agree entirely with Alex on this one. Sex i find is much better when people are relaxed and comfortable with the partner.
But rude/one line PMs and the desire not to make friends of people that you encounter sexually are very different things, as are friendship and rapport
I had to come back to this thread as it got me thinking (never a good sign! ).
I've read a lot of posts on SH over the last year about how important friendship is in swinging, for a lot of people it seems that swinging can't happen without friendship first which was a bit of an eye opener for me as I was originally more interested in the dogging scene and hadn't really thought about swinging in any detail until I started visiting The Cafe.
So, this is what I am now wondering:
If you met someone that you initially think you have a good friendship with and you then move onto playing together and discover that the sex isn't all that great, what do you do? What if the sex is great but the friendship turns out to be a disappointment? then what?
In a perfect world we'd be terribly grown up and tackle it honestly with no fear of tears or recriminations but are friendships important and strong enough to allow swingers to say/hear "We're not great together sexually but let's stay friends" or "We're great in bed but you seem very different now that I know you better" ? Does a friendship built up over just a few weeks have enough emotional investment to remain in tact? Are swingers really any different to vanilla folk when things end?
Sorry, I know that's a lot of questions and I hope it makes sense!
I had to come back to this thread as it got me thinking (never a good sign!
).I've read a lot of posts on SH over the last year about how important friendship is in swinging, for a lot of people it seems that swinging can't happen without friendship first which was a bit of an eye opener for me as I was originally more interested in the dogging scene and hadn't really thought about swinging in any detail until I started visiting The Cafe.
So, this is what I am now wondering:
If you met someone that you initially think you have a good friendship with and you then move onto playing together and discover that the sex isn't all that great, what do you do? What if the sex is great but the friendship turns out to be a disappointment? then what?
In a perfect world we'd be terribly grown up and tackle it honestly with no fear of tears or recriminations but are friendships important and strong enough to allow swingers to say/hear "We're not great together sexually but let's stay friends" or "We're great in bed but you seem very different now that I know you better" ? Does a friendship built up over just a few weeks have enough emotional investment to remain in tact? Are swingers really any different to vanilla folk when things end?
Sorry, I know that's a lot of questions and I hope it makes sense!
Warming the Bed
Quote by goodtimez
One mans meat is another mans poison!!
In short if youre having fun and everyone involved is consenting and not hurting anyone then wheres the problem?
Mr & Mrs goodtimez
I have absolutely nothing against a "quicky"....and certainly not in the setting that you describe here.....I've had a few one night stands myself and thoroughly enjoyable they were too!....However,with every encounter I ever had,there was a level of interest in who I was,my age,name,sexual health history,etc..(I was kidding just there,BTW!).....
Maybe I got the wrong end of lordnlady's original post but I took to understand that what they were saying was....what's wrong with a little friendliness and showing that your criteria for wanting to meet someone runs higher than whether or not they are shaved or prepared to swallow?....
If someone displays a complete lack of regard to you as a person,it doesn't matter how horny you're feeling or how attractive this person may be,it's an instant turn-off.
I have an awful lot of respect for those with enough self-esteem to not need this kind if acknowledgement(probably,in truth a fair bit of envy too!...LOL) but it's a shame when your personal feelings aren't point would be that you wouldn't know that someone was happy to engage in this sort of encounter until you had at least said a quick "Hello",would you?
I'm sorry for ranting again....Seems to be an affliction,I don't post often but make up for that by essaying every time I do!...LOL
