We have been swinging for over 4 years now and have always kept that side of our lives a secret. Someimes we suspect that friends or even family may have cottoned on to our extra curricula activity, but to date no one has said!
Sometimes we feel like coming out and being totally open about it, but then worry that we may upset family, who would not be able to understand the fun we have, or the reasons for it!
What do others think? Has being open, created problems with friends or family?
Is secrecy the best policy in this very blinkered world?
A and M
Sheffield
xx
(that's as open as it gets!!)
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Who is open about their swinging?
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Is secrecy the best policy in swinging?
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25 votes
Sex God
I would advise anyone NOT to feel at all guilty about keeping swinging activities a secret, or at any rate, discreet. People don't need to know, and there is always a risk that people, even people you know very well, will misunderstand. We have had threads about this before, and a few members have told heartbreaking stories of very close long-term friendships being unexpectedly ruined after revelations about being swingers.
I have only told one friend that I go swinging, and I carefully chose to tell her after a long time. I do not feel under any obligation to tell anyone else.
It all sounds very admirable, hearing about some people here who are very open about their swinging lifestyle, but to be open or discreet is a very personal choice.
Mike.
I have only told one friend that I go swinging, and I carefully chose to tell her after a long time. I do not feel under any obligation to tell anyone else.
It all sounds very admirable, hearing about some people here who are very open about their swinging lifestyle, but to be open or discreet is a very personal choice.
Mike.
Sex God
DONT TELL ANYONE......EVER.
And try and keep it as discrete as possible so u dont get found out.
Learn from our misfortune please ppl.
xxxx
And try and keep it as discrete as possible so u dont get found out.
Learn from our misfortune please ppl.
xxxx
We've never felt the need to mention to anyone that we swing. We wouldn't want to convert friends from the straight world because that could get very messy so see no reason to bring it up in conversation.
Also our children would probably not understand what we were up to and I'm certain that both our employers would be underwhelmed if they found out what we do on a Sunday afternoon.
There seems no advantage in telling anyone what we do so we will keep it to ourselves.
Also our children would probably not understand what we were up to and I'm certain that both our employers would be underwhelmed if they found out what we do on a Sunday afternoon.
There seems no advantage in telling anyone what we do so we will keep it to ourselves.
I told some people I knew and also some strangers at a party. There was quite a range of strong feelings aroused by it. Later on I realised it was just not worth it.
There are some things that one should tell people. Swinging is not essential for people to know, and its usually better they don't.
However some sensitive people often suss that you have secrets and know and do things they don't. So they are never quite happy in your company either. It all goes with the territory.
Would there ever be a Swingers Pride march? Probably not for a few more decades.
There are some things that one should tell people. Swinging is not essential for people to know, and its usually better they don't.
However some sensitive people often suss that you have secrets and know and do things they don't. So they are never quite happy in your company either. It all goes with the territory.
Would there ever be a Swingers Pride march? Probably not for a few more decades.
Sexpert
We would never tell anyone we knew...ever.
We don`t think anybody suspects as they would not believe we would misbehave :twisted: in that sense in a million years.
That said, it can get a little lonely and occasionally we would like to share our secret with someone we knew. However, the potential complications rule that option out....sadly.
We don`t think anybody suspects as they would not believe we would misbehave :twisted: in that sense in a million years.
That said, it can get a little lonely and occasionally we would like to share our secret with someone we knew. However, the potential complications rule that option out....sadly.
A few years back I worked in a pub in Portsmouth. A regular couple were said to be swingers and the staff use to have a laugh about it. I would have really enjoyed going out with them but knew if I did I would lose all respect from them.
I think it is a real shame that most of us have to keep it a secret. The general public don't like the thought of what we do...we enjoy sex so we have sex with different people....those who enjoy football can go out and play it without being looked down upon!
Well I say they're the ones missing out....I enjoy myself, just wish I could share it with more people....
I think it is a real shame that most of us have to keep it a secret. The general public don't like the thought of what we do...we enjoy sex so we have sex with different people....those who enjoy football can go out and play it without being looked down upon!
Well I say they're the ones missing out....I enjoy myself, just wish I could share it with more people....
Sex God
I have told a couple of our close friends about us swinging, and thankfully we are still friends 
:) :) But i will not be telling anybody else, i like the idea of them not knowing where im going and why i have a 
on my face.
:) :) But i will not be telling anybody else, i like the idea of them not knowing where im going and why i have a on my face. 
Warming the Bed
If you tell em, they'll all say: "Oh, how disgusting!" ......and gossip endlessly about you behind your backs, and tell all your neighbours, and stop their children coming to play with yours.
Then the men will all start slyly coming round and groping the wife every chance they get.
And the women will privately be asking her for all the juicy details about giant knobs, multiple orgasms, gangbangs etc, and calling her a right jammy cow.
Then the men will all start slyly coming round and groping the wife every chance they get.
And the women will privately be asking her for all the juicy details about giant knobs, multiple orgasms, gangbangs etc, and calling her a right jammy cow.
i am very open about it with people i trust not to get it back to my children, my mum and sister know, it bothers my mum but she knows i'm old enough to do what i like so its a case of she don't want 2 know about it, my sister wanted me to take her to chams lol close friends know, pauls family don't know cause they really would disown him and prob call the social services lol
It all depends, talking about in on the net is one thing, talking to it with people you walk down the street with is another. Definatly keep it secret from your neighbours and other people who are likely to gossip about it and point every time you have a stranger over. You'll be known by some wierd nick name by everyone when your walking down town and see someone you know. It's allways good to tell your friends though, that way you could have someone to ring just incase something goes wrong.
Sex God
We would never tell any of our family or friends, but not because we're ashamed about what we do.
We just never discuss the finer aspects of our intimate relationship even with close friends and since swinging is part of that, we feel they have no need to know of it.
My older sister and her husband used to swap partners with a couple they were friendly with, but when both the marriages broke down everyone said it was because they had been swingers - never mind the fact that the two husbands were a pair of lazy, selfish, piss head, bone idle pair of gits - it was blamed on the swinging
I didn't think much of my brother in law in case you didn't notice
People just do not understand what swinging really is all about, so they assume it's bad and therefore so must the people doing it be too
Nope. We'd never tell . . . they would never believe it of us anyway :angel:
Tracy-Jayne
We just never discuss the finer aspects of our intimate relationship even with close friends and since swinging is part of that, we feel they have no need to know of it.
My older sister and her husband used to swap partners with a couple they were friendly with, but when both the marriages broke down everyone said it was because they had been swingers - never mind the fact that the two husbands were a pair of lazy, selfish, piss head, bone idle pair of gits - it was blamed on the swinging
I didn't think much of my brother in law in case you didn't notice
People just do not understand what swinging really is all about, so they assume it's bad and therefore so must the people doing it be too
Nope. We'd never tell . . . they would never believe it of us anyway :angel:
Tracy-Jayne
I'm going to moan - gently - about the question, the best policy is really to decide for yourselves.Red Hot kind of summed up my attitude. I never discussed my sex life with my friends prior to swinging, why should I want to now?
There is, of course, the social aspect as well. I find it quite difficult buggering off to munches and things and not telling my close friends why I seem to have so many party invites from people that I have never introduced them to.
Mind you, it would stop moments like we had recently. With a group of friends, we ended up chatting to a very strange and eccentric couple. One of my friends turned round and commented that they were so strange, she thinks they could even be swingers!
Then the men will all start slyly coming round and groping the wife every chance they get.
And the women will privately be asking her for all the juicy details about giant knobs, multiple orgasms, gangbangs etc, and calling her a right jammy cow.Bugger, now I can't get 'Gypsies tramps and thieves' out of my head. I know Cher sang it, but who released it first? :?
Chorus
Gypsys, tramps, and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us Gypsys, tramps, and thieves
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down
*kat wanders off humming inanely*
lhk
Kat
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
I can't get 'Gypsies tramps and thieves' out of my head. I know Cher sang it, but who released it first?
Chorus
Gypsys, tramps, and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us Gypsys, tramps, and thieves
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down
*kat wanders off humming inanely*
lhk
Kat
I thought it was Cher and Sonny Bono who released it first?
I know Nirvana had a version of it, but I'm sure Cher was first. I remember singing it when I was little but of course didn't know what the heck it was about at the time, just liked the tune
:lol2: My taste in music had got better over the years though . . . . I hope :grin:
T-J
Sexpert
theres only 2 of our friends who know and matts sister cos she accidently contacted us .. now that was embarising :P
but for the 2 friends the first is someone matt is very close to and we asked her for advice wether she thought it was a good idea or not and the other coz she asked to join us so we broke it too her gently and said that we would think about it while she tried to get over the shock :P
but apart from them we wouldnt want to tell anyone if ppl find out either by accident or guess ect then fine it doesnt bother us we will explain we want it kept quiet and any friend who cant do that isnt worth having as a friend
well thats our 50P worth :P
matt and crystal
but for the 2 friends the first is someone matt is very close to and we asked her for advice wether she thought it was a good idea or not and the other coz she asked to join us so we broke it too her gently and said that we would think about it while she tried to get over the shock :P
but apart from them we wouldnt want to tell anyone if ppl find out either by accident or guess ect then fine it doesnt bother us we will explain we want it kept quiet and any friend who cant do that isnt worth having as a friend
well thats our 50P worth :P
matt and crystal
