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why do people cancel 2nd meets!?

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Ok so my first ever posting bummed due to me not reading what was alreadly written redface
So heres my new thought (brace yourself cause i am blonde)......... : you meet someone - it goes great, u both fancy each other biggrin , you discuss future plans for naughties, you have some naughties 69position !! then you catch up online the next day - agree what a fantastic time you both had arrange to meet again and then.....................nothing...................you are left wondering a) was i really dull b) has the person simply lost interest and moved on? c) has their pc (& mobile phone) been swallowed in the fiery chasms of hell and therefore they cannot contact u? or d) they are a complete b#####d?!
Would like to hear what anyone else thinks - have made my own personal conclusions!
Quote by sexyjess23
Ok so my first ever posting bummed due to me not reading what was alreadly written redface
So heres my new thought (brace yourself cause i am blonde)......... : you meet someone - it goes great, u both fancy each other biggrin , you discuss future plans for naughties, you have some naughties 69position !! then you catch up online the next day - agree what a fantastic time you both had arrange to meet again and then.....................nothing...................you are left wondering a) was i really dull b) has the person simply lost interest and moved on? c) has their pc (& mobile phone) been swallowed in the fiery chasms of hell and therefore they cannot contact u? or d) they are a complete b#####d?!
Would like to hear what anyone else thinks - have made my own personal conclusions!

You were a crap shag, hun.
Now get your blonde arse off my patch! mad
Only kidding... ya win some, ya lose some.
It's possible that the other person felt bad about what they did. Ya know, that guilt thing people have told me about.
Can't believe anyone would avoid someone as gorgeous as the person in your avatar, therefore must be (c) or alternatively could be (e) they've been involved in a car accident trying to get over to shag you again
babe,... i understand how you feel having been in that position once too many...
the best way to look at it is like this.......dust yourself down, chalk it up as experience... remember the good bits, swear to never do the bad bits again... and move on....
if he doestn't realise what abloody good thing he has that that is his loss... and when he does come back tell him to bog off....
there is someone who is out there and will treat you a million times better.. and you will wonder what all the fuss was about....
sean xxxxxxxxxx
People who like to shag strangers don't normally want to meet twice. I used to be like that, though I am quite happy to shag my friends now as well :twisted: . It is wrong of them to lead you into believing they are not only after a one-off, but hey, there's plenty more fish in the sea lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
First of all :welcome: to sexyjess23. I presume that's your age 'cos I ain't seen the other 22 sexyjess'. Have fun and don't worry about the false start. Getting to know people around here is a lot of fun. Can't comment on the 2nd meets thingy 'cos it could be all of those reasons plus a few more I guess. But a lot of that goes on - thick skin required.
Quote by bluexxx
People who like to shag strangers don't normally want to meet twice. I used to be like that, though I am quite happy to shag my friends now as well :twisted: .:

What a lovely concept - shagging yer friends lol :lol:
Hi Jess, welcome from me too - I see you are from the beautiful county of Kent where I was born and raised.
On your question, yes, all of the factors mentioned come into play, no doubt. Remember that in these days of equality you are allowed to phone the bloke yourself after the first meeting / shag (we don't have to be coy and use words like "naughties" in here), you don't have to sit "all alone by the telephone" as in the pop songs of old. (Well, these days the phone is most likely being carried around in your handbag anyway.)
Anyway, good luck in the future, stick around here and you'll encounter some wonderful people, we won't let you down. lol :lol:
Mike.
Quote by MikeNorth
Hi Jess, welcome from me too - I see you are from the beautiful county of Kent where I was born and raised.

Fluckin' 'ell it's MikeSouth! Always thought there was summat wrong about you lol :lol:
Quote by westerross
Hi Jess, welcome from me too - I see you are from the beautiful county of Kent where I was born and raised.

Fluckin' 'ell it's MikeSouth! Always thought there was summat wrong about you (Tune Essence wails) lol :lol:
That's my reputation gone west....over to you maybe, Tune :lol:
As others have said, it's the excitement of the first meet for some. You've just been unlucky in choosing someone that had that frame of mind.
Me, If I like the person, I'd be back.
More annoying, are those that don't turn up for the first meet..... all too common.
Welcome to SH :welcome: have fun on here.
Of course, I could be cynical and say the lack of a second meet is because the wife found out about the first one !!!
I tend to agree it's probably the "stranger" thing in reality. Have met quite a few women/couples where they have been quite open about not wanting to meet again until maybe some months/years down the line when all has been forgotten. And that's before the shagging, so they can't all think I'm crap, or can they confused :?
Ant
At the risk of making myself look odder than I already do – I sometimes think that the MORE I enjoyed a meet , the less I want to see the person again! confused
That is not the norm, all I mean is that sometimes I can meet someone, have a mind blowing time and go away knowing that we both loved every second of it – but know that it being a one off is part of the reason it was sooo good.
I guess I kind of feel like we had the best of it together - nothing else will improve it.
…. So may as well bow out on a high note. :twisted:
That is NOT to say that anyone I meet in the future should go out of their way not to impress me… :shock: ....... This is just a feeling I have had on VERY occasional times.
well i think that they are just wasting yours and there time if they do not want to meet up again i mean, not just to shag or anything maybe to have a natter or whatever.
But personally i like to chat to the person or people first and see if there is anything that we have in common, like say music or films, you know something to chat about in between the fun. That is if they have something that you find attractive, in them and if they cannot be bothered to get back to you and at least say " well we had fun....but sorry i don't want to meet again and spoil what we had" then sorry they are just not worth bothering about.......so don't give up keep going and maybe you will find someone who at least you find is good to get on with and have fun finding them after all that is why we are all here just have a good time getting to know one another is it not? cool
:cheers:
It does seem unfortunate. But I only have your point of view to think about. Is this fair or right to expect others to give you support and advice to you alone and not your recent partner also?
Hi Jess, nice to find you here after our chat the other night.
Sorry to hear about this person's reaction. Been there not too long ago (even though I didn't do the naughties because I felt we ought to get to know each other better before hitting the sack) and know how it hurts when they suddenly switch off or disappear.
All I can say is that women like us can sometimes be intimidating. We know what we want and we realise a good thing when we see one so we cannot really control ourselves and have to give it all.
You have two options:
a) put it behind you and move on
b) keep thinking about it and analyse everything you said and did till your mind goes numb and you no longer know whether you are coming or going...
There is plenty more fish in the sea and as long as you play safe, there is no reason why you shouldn't make the most of each encounter, no matter how brief.
Hugs
Quote by duncanlondon
It does seem unfortunate. But I only have your point of view to think about. Is this fair or right to expect others to give you support and advice to you alone and not your recent partner also?

Get off it Duncan! This is not a case of political correctness, the girl is hurting and is looking for some support. I am sure the sexual partner can defend his/her self if need be.
smackbottom
Tania, I don't think there is anyone else about now, so I don't see the point in us having a row.
Yeah they are all probably sleeping after a good night's shag. *sigh* Ain't life unfair!
The other person was probably only after a quick shag...you seem to want a relationship...most of the people I know in this scene only WANT a quick shag, and rarely meet more than once or twice.
It's called life, I think !
Quote by jomu
The other person was probably only after a quick shag...you seem to want a relationship...most of the people I know in this scene only WANT a quick shag, and rarely meet more than once or twice.
It's called life, I think !

I think that is a tad harsh!!
A lot of us realise that first time sex , altough fun in its self, often misses the trust element that develops on subsequent meetings.
Why this guy should bottle out like that for a second meeting is beyond me, but i tend to guess his wife may have found out or he is feeling guilty. Main thing is not to let it get to you, move on , hes a plonker its not your fault, there are plenty more fish...............
Quote by jomu
The other person was probably only after a quick shag...you seem to want a relationship...most of the people I know in this scene only WANT a quick shag, and rarely meet more than once or twice.
It's called life, I think !

Sorry mate, cant agree
I have read through so many threads since joining up that admittedly they do tend to blur a bit, but the underlying attitude is of lot of friends who enjoy life and sharing friendships
If it was a case of "do it once or twice and fuckit off" then whty do so many repeat it again and again, at munches and at other times?
SexyJess personally I reckon you caught a guy with one of 3 probs A,the FFFF type who only want a one of and aint willing to be honest about that (good riddence to them, , B, the sudden "what have I done" guilt trip caused by a g/f or wife at home ) or C, his cock dropped of because you worked him so hard, cuz was it me I would have been back so fast the smell of burning rubber would be coming from my shoes smile
As MikeNorth said, you are allowed to contact him yourself nowdays, just a quick PM should do the trick, if he dont reply, forget the loser. Dont let somebody else's apparent lack of curtesy screw your head up.
Put it behind you hun, get out there and enjoy yourself, on your terms and conditions.
How many answers are there to this question...
They lied.
They do want to see you again - but too soon feels too much like dating.
They do want to see you again - but it is a rota system and you have to wait till you get to the top of the list again.
The wife only lets 'um out once per month.
They don't want to appear they are coming on too strong - trying to play it cool.
They have had another offer.
They are busy.
They suffer from short term memory loss.
They are worried they won't manage it again because you nearly ate them alive.
They are a shit!
They are saving up to make the next time special - oh that one makes me laugh.
They have thought about what they have done and are unsure it is for them.
They want to leave it a while so it will be exciting again.
They are testing you to see what you do and how you react.
They are just not that into you - but didn't want to hurt your feelings.
They need a break.
They think if they see you too often they will fall for you and don't think you would like that.
Something big has happened in their life and sex is not a priority at the minute.
They just don't rush things.
I could go on - but I need to do some work.
Quote by sexyjess23
...then you catch up online the next day - agree what a fantastic time you both had arrange to meet again and then.....................nothing...................you are left wondering a) was i really dull
That's a difficult one. Most people wouldn't just blurt out 'hey you were boring'. How much of a hurry they're in to leave could be an indicator.
b) has the person simply lost interest and moved on?
From my perspective as someone who has felt a bit like "flavour of the month", I think that's one of the more likely reasons.
c) has their pc (& mobile phone) been swallowed in the fiery chasms of hell and therefore they cannot contact u?
Even if that were the case, they could stil go to an internet cafe and send you an email or something.
or d) they are a complete b#####d?!
Possibly. Or they could just be scared, and that could be for any of a thousand reasons.
Would like to hear what anyone else thinks - have made my own personal conclusions!
I think the only way you'll know for sure is if you ask and they tell you, because if six people blank you, they'll probably all have different reasons.
Ice.
Oh, by the way, :welcome: to :swingingchair: Heaven. smile
Continued....
They only ever intended it to be once - the chatty stuff was just being polite.
They only ever intended it to be once - the chatty stuff just shows they are spineless.
You're being too keen and they are getting mixed messages.
They are trying to make a point.
They are no longer in the country.
They are looking after a sick relative.
They are on a guilt trip.
They have had a moment of clarity and reassessed their life-style.
They have realised they have been kidding themselves about their sexuality.
They want to see you but just do things slower than you.
They don't think they really made a good impression and think you are just being polite.
They see women asking as a sign of desperation (yeah right!)
They are worried you are expecting too much from them.
They are arranging a suprise for you - trying to get some other people to join in for the next time becuase you were such a greedy girl.
They just don't get it.
They are wondering what you saw in them and feel insecure.
They realised they want a relationship but not with you.
Their ex has come back.
Their current partner was away the first time - they are back now.
They have been there and done it too many times and are now looking for something new.
They want to see how long they can keep you guessing.
They just can't be bothered at the minute.
They are too busy bragging to their mates.
They like you and don't know how to handle it.
Oops, lunch break over - back to some more work.
Quote by sexyjess23
then you catch up online the next day - agree what a fantastic time you both had arrange to meet again and then.....................nothing...................you are left wondering a) was i really dull b) has the person simply lost interest and moved on? c) has their pc (& mobile phone) been swallowed in the fiery chasms of hell and therefore they cannot contact u? or d) they are a complete b#####d?

Sounds like a complete tosser to me. If a lovely lady (such as yourself) wanted to meet me for a second date............... I'd be champing at the proverbial bit. :P :P
That person may possibly get their kicks shagging someone new every time. dunno
Continued...
They decided the drive was too much.
Their car has been stolen and their phone and laptop were in the boot.
They actually live miles away and were just working in the area.
Something good is on the TV.
Football is on the TV.
Their Open University course has started.
They moved house.
They realised they loved someone else.
They have joined a religious order.
They have been arrested.
Their home leave is over.
Thier mum won't lend them the car again.
Did I mention they lied?
They thought it was good but just not what they were looking for.
The meet they had the next day offered to pay next time.
They think you were not kinky enough.
They think you were too kinky.
They have dicovered something better than sex (ok that one might be stretching it abit)
They were so excited by the thought of seeing you again - they had a heart attack.
Someone else offered them a 3some.
Someone else offered them a 4some.
They have been abducted by aliens.
They have been deported.
Ok I am getting short on ideas now, I must be getting tired.
errrrrrrrrrrr people actually meet once ???........... lucky buggers !
* thinks* maybe I really do look like a hobgoblin..... pas the slimfast QUICK ! confused
Just wanted to say a quick thanku to everyone who replied to my thread! i have attempted to take all your advice on board biggrin
Its nice to know there are some really great people out there - just waiting to meet!
Thanx pololady - i nearly peed myself laughing @ your lists!
Hoping to catch up with my new buddies soon xxxx
Sexyjess23 get your cute little old self up here to glasgow for the Scottish Munch Sat 26/3/05 I promise you will meet a lot of good people & have a great time.
Now i for one will make you most welcome. As others have said move on he was a "shit"
But there are more genuine people on here who like to makle freinds as well as parners for "naughtys". I for one will have my kilt on & thats something to see lol.
Anyways enough of me prateling on but please take the good advice & go out there girl & have fun.
biggrin Bobby