There is still some semblance of courtesy although it is not applied with much grace or finesse a lot these days. I find one thing quite annoying. Courtesy at the door.
Two people arrive at a doorway. In a byegone day, it was accepted that one gave way and allowed the other to pass. Nowadays we hesitate not knowing who 'gives way', then proceed to both squeeze through the door, back to back in a rather undignified manner.
I have even asked people to go first and they have declined, only to jump ion at the last moment and squeeze both of us through the doorway. Its never been unpleasant, just mildy irritating.
Why do we do that?
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Why do we do that?
I find that when I go to London, the whole idea of courtesy seems to have vanished. There isn't such a thing as a que anymore, especially with buses, the strongest (or rudest) push to the front and to hell with anyone else. I find that infuriating
Maybe it's because I live in a small town, that I am more surprised by it when I go to the Big Smoke, . But the simple answer Duncanlondon... insist the other person goes first, start a one man campaign to lead by example and maybe it'll spread.
Maybe it's because I live in a small town, that I am more surprised by it when I go to the Big Smoke, . But the simple answer Duncanlondon... insist the other person goes first, start a one man campaign to lead by example and maybe it'll spread.
i agree with u there postie we moved to the west mids a cpl years back now where i moved from was quite a small place and every1 was polite as a rule, but here its each for themsleves like u said no1 queues for a bus when it pulls up everyone just shoves u out the way 
people here are so rude
people here are so rude I still believe the intent of courtesy is there. Somehow there is a reluctance to play out the scenario, as there is no modern version available. I am convinced that if this was staged in a cheesy Brit feel good film everyyone would do it.
Its an opportunity to see, smell and sense someone up close. If you allow yourself to take the offer of right of way then you become the observed and the other person the observer. This may be disturbing to some. So I suppose people resent to offer of being spectated on.
But to settle for a grudging back to back manouvre seems really mean. It seems to suggest that we overlook the moment.
I suppose its tv culture and the inability to look people in the eye and do the courteous thing. Is being 'gallant' so bad?
Its an opportunity to see, smell and sense someone up close. If you allow yourself to take the offer of right of way then you become the observed and the other person the observer. This may be disturbing to some. So I suppose people resent to offer of being spectated on.
But to settle for a grudging back to back manouvre seems really mean. It seems to suggest that we overlook the moment.
I suppose its tv culture and the inability to look people in the eye and do the courteous thing. Is being 'gallant' so bad?
Quote by postie
I find that when I go to London, the whole idea of courtesy seems to have vanished. There isn't such a thing as a que anymore, especially with buses, the strongest (or rudest) push to the front and to hell with anyone else. I find that infuriating
Maybe it's because I live in a small town, that I am more surprised by it when I go to the Big Smoke, . But the simple answer Duncanlondon... insist the other person goes first, start a one man campaign to lead by example and maybe it'll spread.
If we did that the whole country would grind to a halt as people would never get past the doors
think the best example is the queues to get on to a ryan air flight!...
Everyone knows that elder people and peeps with kids go first, but they INSIST on blocking the whole way infront of the desk in a mild scrum like fashion, followed by normally well behaved mothers, losing their tempers and banging people about with handbags and folded up prams.....
Iritating?, always
Funny, Only when the stewardess's get involved
Everyone knows that elder people and peeps with kids go first, but they INSIST on blocking the whole way infront of the desk in a mild scrum like fashion, followed by normally well behaved mothers, losing their tempers and banging people about with handbags and folded up prams.....
Iritating?, always
Funny, Only when the stewardess's get involved
Having moved from Kent to Bucks I have noticed that drivers around here won't slow down (or heaven forbid actually stop) for pedestrians trying to cross the roads.
I get seriously miffed when I see a mum with kids and shopping standing on the traffic island in the middle of the road in the pouring rain while drivers zip past dry and warm in their cars.
Also equally annoying and downright dangerous; the idiots who try to overtake when I DO stop for the pedestrians!
grrrrrrrr
I get seriously miffed when I see a mum with kids and shopping standing on the traffic island in the middle of the road in the pouring rain while drivers zip past dry and warm in their cars.
Also equally annoying and downright dangerous; the idiots who try to overtake when I DO stop for the pedestrians!
grrrrrrrr
When we went to Eurodisney last year we were surprised to find that its only english people that form ques, everybody else just pushed, many a time were my kids pushed aside. It was the spanish who seemed the worst, after a few hours i did say something but they didnt understand so we thought if you cant beat them join them.
F
F
Quote by nealfiona
When we went to Eurodisney last year we were surprised to find that its only english people that form ques, everybody else just pushed, many a time were my kids pushed aside. It was the spanish who seemed the worst, after a few hours i did say something but they didnt understand so we thought if you cant beat them join them.
F
God your right....we went to Universal studios in salou in Spain......no one wanted to queue but the English, in the end saying something didn't help just the mad glare kinda helped!
You should come to Preston! Not only do people barge in front of you and don't say thank you for holding the door open, they STOP in doorways :crazy:
I have given up trying to work out why people do these things, maybe I've just been dragged up proper!!!!!
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I have given up trying to work out why people do these things, maybe I've just been dragged up proper!!!!!
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Quote by new2trot
Having moved from Kent to Bucks I have noticed that drivers around here won't slow down (or heaven forbid actually stop) for pedestrians trying to cross the roads.
I get seriously miffed when I see a mum with kids and shopping standing on the traffic island in the middle of the road in the pouring rain while drivers zip past dry and warm in their cars.
Also equally annoying and downright dangerous; the idiots who try to overtake when I DO stop for the pedestrians!
grrrrrrrr
Oooh ! Now you've hit a nerve! I get this most days as I have to cross roads a lot. standing there in the rain, carrying a heavy mailbag, and not only do drivers not stop to let you cross, if it's at a junction they will pull right up to where you are standing even though they can't go anywhere!!! Which forces you to walk around their car.... grrrrr.... I have been known to walk in front of their car, turn and try to look them in the eye... not one bugger will look at you, as they know they are out of order...
a few weeks ago, a driver stopped at a zebra crossing, I was about to cross when another car almost run me over. This was at a zebra crossing, by a school, in a back street AND i was wearing hi-viz... tw@!
Orgasminator
Quote by
What I fucking hate is people who eat at restaurants (Maccy D's, or wherever) and cannot even be bothered to clear their fucking table after they have eaten. Fucking dirty slobs. I mean even at Burger King where the food is cheap and the service is adequate (TIC) people eat and leave everything on the table to be cleared away by someone else. Fucking lazy bastards. As if it is not enough to have to work at these palaces of prosaic pulchritude but to have to clean up after people who can, if they actually try, put their crap in the bins provided is a fucking disgrace. What are their fucking houses like? What are their minds like?
De. Sade
Oddly, I used to work in a BK, and preferred people to leave the tables as it gave me something to do when out in the dining area. the staff get assigned that task and then moaned at if they are not busy so often in a quiet period it's better to leave the table as is. besides cleaning up is part of the service. I wouldn't take the plates to the kitchen in a restaurant as it's the waiters job so why would I in BK? it's not rude, it doesn't reflect on my home, it's just the way it is I'm afraid
I think we've lost the art of being courteous - for many I think its because they're not sure of how it will be perceived. I know that many men feel uncomfortable holding a door open for a women (maybe because they think they'll be accused of sexism) and feel that doing it for a fellow bloke is somehow not on. It also extends in to the 'me me me' generation who think that gaining an inch at the expense of someone else is worthwhile (especially in driving!) so tend to be petty in all things.
I get the sense that as we get more wrapped up in material lives we become less and less aware of the effects our actions have on those around us - the kids dropping litter just don't see that it willl f**k up the environment - after all its only a burger wrapper, right? This spills over in to all walks of life, and people gripe about how rude others are, how crap their town is, how the country is going to the dogs - and the media feed it with an incessant parade of the extremes on the fringes - so it becomes the norm. It creates a cycle and people feel disempowered - often adopting the 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' position.
I once read somewhere that in order to change the world around you, first change yourself. I totally believe this - but the hardest thing is keeping the change going if every one else seems to be doing the opposite!! Mind you, even doing it yourself can be a great de-stresser - so be polite, be courteous, hold that door open, let that person out in front of you, smile often, have patience, treat others as you would want to be treated - and slowly, we may just make a difference...
Japes
PS sorry for the long post - pet peeve of mine...
I get the sense that as we get more wrapped up in material lives we become less and less aware of the effects our actions have on those around us - the kids dropping litter just don't see that it willl f**k up the environment - after all its only a burger wrapper, right? This spills over in to all walks of life, and people gripe about how rude others are, how crap their town is, how the country is going to the dogs - and the media feed it with an incessant parade of the extremes on the fringes - so it becomes the norm. It creates a cycle and people feel disempowered - often adopting the 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' position.
I once read somewhere that in order to change the world around you, first change yourself. I totally believe this - but the hardest thing is keeping the change going if every one else seems to be doing the opposite!! Mind you, even doing it yourself can be a great de-stresser - so be polite, be courteous, hold that door open, let that person out in front of you, smile often, have patience, treat others as you would want to be treated - and slowly, we may just make a difference...
Japes
PS sorry for the long post - pet peeve of mine...
Sex God
Quote by Japes
- so be polite, be courteous, hold that door open, let that person out in front of you, ...
tried that,............. smiled, said please,even slowed the car down to 50mph, but she still won't get out
Sex God
Quote by kazswallows
What really gets my goat at the moment is drivers who DON'T indicate
AAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!! Is it really soooooo difficult?????
an indicator is only a sign the bulbs are working
Absolutely....I gotta get mine fixed cos when I checked them out yesterday....
the bulb lit
then it didn't
then it did
then it didn't
then it did
then it didn't......
I think I got a faulty batch cos even the replacements did the same
.......davej reaches way down into the corny barrel.......
Oh damn I'm going to be serious again.
Society has changed now that we are more mobile and work is less secure. We are by nature pack animals or at leat tribal but now we spend our time disconnected from extended family, long term friends and thier extended family so we show the behaviour of lone pack animals skirting through the the territory of others. Hence the confusion over rules of etiquette. Have been major studies on global cities on this. Always interesting to see a teacher walk through a group of kids in town. Confidence and "aura!" show.
The distrurbing side of this is that the solution is that you should walk your territory and pee on every landmark. Make it your territory then others will default to your way of doing things but this could be quite scary in a supermarket/department store and liable to arrest!!!!
Society has changed now that we are more mobile and work is less secure. We are by nature pack animals or at leat tribal but now we spend our time disconnected from extended family, long term friends and thier extended family so we show the behaviour of lone pack animals skirting through the the territory of others. Hence the confusion over rules of etiquette. Have been major studies on global cities on this. Always interesting to see a teacher walk through a group of kids in town. Confidence and "aura!" show.
The distrurbing side of this is that the solution is that you should walk your territory and pee on every landmark. Make it your territory then others will default to your way of doing things but this could be quite scary in a supermarket/department store and liable to arrest!!!!
Sex God
Quote by Jez_Notts
Oh damn I'm going to be serious again.
Society has changed now that we are more mobile and work is less secure. We are by nature pack animals or at leat tribal but now we spend our time disconnected from extended family, long term friends and thier extended family so we show the behaviour of lone pack animals skirting through the the territory of others. Hence the confusion over rules of etiquette. Have been major studies on global cities on this. Always interesting to see a teacher walk through a group of kids in town. Confidence and "aura!" show.
The distrurbing side of this is that the solution is that you should walk your territory and pee on every landmark. Make it your territory then others will default to your way of doing things but this could be quite scary in a supermarket/department store and liable to arrest!!!!
Don't get me started on this one ,cos I could battle on for ages on my theory that the very thing, thats heralded as being the biggest advancement and help to mankind....the computer...will be the very thing, that screws us up, as we have less and less need to interact with other people, therefore losing social skills, which then make us retreat back into our caves (albeit built by Wimpy and the like) blah, blah, blah,
By the way, I ain't too sure on the pissin thing to mark out territory, cos my parents have started doing this now they are in their last few years and it aint exactly making folk default or winning territory, it's simply making us less enthusiastic about having them round for tea, but I know what you mean.
Sex God
Quote by davej
Don't get me started on this one ,cos I could battle on for ages on my theory that the very thing, thats heralded as being the biggest advancement and help to mankind....the computer...will be the very thing, that screws us up, as we have less and less need to interact with other people, therefore losing social skills, which then make us retreat back into our caves (albeit built by Wimpy and the like) blah, blah, blah,
I think this is a very good way to interact with people - teaches you to be clear and try to understand other people. It's shit on body language and the rest but in a way it's an object lesson for that.
Besides, I can pick me nose while I'm talking to you now and you're not offended are you?? Well are you? C'mon speak up!!!
Sex God
Quote by westerross
Don't get me started on this one ,cos I could battle on for ages on my theory that the very thing, thats heralded as being the biggest advancement and help to mankind....the computer...will be the very thing, that screws us up, as we have less and less need to interact with other people, therefore losing social skills, which then make us retreat back into our caves (albeit built by Wimpy and the like) blah, blah, blah,
I think this is a very good way to interact with people - teaches you to be clear and try to understand other people. It's shit on body language and the rest but in a way it's an object lesson for that.
Besides, I can pick me nose while I'm talking to you now and you're not offended are you?? Well are you? C'mon speak up!!!
Nope not offended in the slightest tune and I will bore the crap outa ya on this subject. I agree that we interact through these machines, but it's a different type of interaction that doesn't require the social skills of old, you've mentioned body language as an example. Right now we still understand body language, cos we have lived with it, but as the need to interact face to face with other people, becomes more rare, then those social skills get eroded. As we speak I have no real need to go to a shop, a bank, a post office to pay bills, there are folk that don't even need to go to a place of work, in truth the need for me to talk to another person is getting less and less.I can more or less do a lot of things I need to do, without needing to speak to another person with the click of a button and even if I wanted to speak to another person, that option is gradually being withdrawn as technology takes over. I just think that there are social implications that may not be for the best in the long run, if technology and it's development doesn't have a social agenda to consider....pie in the sky probably, but it bothers me.
Quote by duncanlondon
There is still some semblance of courtesy although it is not applied with much grace or finesse a lot these days. I find one thing quite annoying. Courtesy at the door.
Two people arrive at a doorway. In a byegone day, it was accepted that one gave way and allowed the other to pass. Nowadays we hesitate not knowing who 'gives way', then proceed to both squeeze through the door, back to back in a rather undignified manner.
I have even asked people to go first and they have declined, only to jump ion at the last moment and squeeze both of us through the doorway. Its never been unpleasant, just mildy irritating.
Why do we do that?
"Liberated" Lady :
I'm not helpless!! Don't hold the door open just because I'm a woman!!
Man :
I'm not holding it open because you are a woman. I'm holding it open for you because I am a *gentleman* !!!
Funny, this has struck a nerve with me.
Today, I was in Scotland (not that it is relevant), stopped at a Spa shop, opened the door, stood back to allow a guy and then an older women to come out first and they blanked me!
So I said really loud
"Thats ok. no problem!"
They still blanked me, ignorant bastards!
Today, I was in Scotland (not that it is relevant), stopped at a Spa shop, opened the door, stood back to allow a guy and then an older women to come out first and they blanked me!
So I said really loud
"Thats ok. no problem!"
They still blanked me, ignorant bastards!
Its generally expected that ignorant and unappreciative people will not respond to common courtesy.
I was on a crowded train and a woman and child got on. She asked me to move over and let her use a seat. There was a seat available but I thought I would give up my seat and allow her and the child to sit down. Which I thought would be appreciated and create some good will. She replied in a very curt manner ' I didn't ask you to do that ', and promptly sat down with the child, looking sullen. It made me feel like crap.
It is an area of life that gets neglected, but is still worth considering. I still offer seats and hold doors etc. But I recognise when it will be useless, so don't do it.
Extended courtesy is a great way of flirting, if the respondent allows it to develop. But this can also lead to going over the top and causing embarassment or discomfort, so it also needs to be applied carefully. Great fun in the right circumstances.
I was on a crowded train and a woman and child got on. She asked me to move over and let her use a seat. There was a seat available but I thought I would give up my seat and allow her and the child to sit down. Which I thought would be appreciated and create some good will. She replied in a very curt manner ' I didn't ask you to do that ', and promptly sat down with the child, looking sullen. It made me feel like crap.
It is an area of life that gets neglected, but is still worth considering. I still offer seats and hold doors etc. But I recognise when it will be useless, so don't do it.
Extended courtesy is a great way of flirting, if the respondent allows it to develop. But this can also lead to going over the top and causing embarassment or discomfort, so it also needs to be applied carefully. Great fun in the right circumstances.
Sex God
Quote by Happy Cats
Funny, this has struck a nerve with me.
Today, I was in Scotland (not that it is relevant), stopped at a Spa shop, opened the door, stood back to allow a guy and then an older women to come out first and they blanked me!
So I said really loud
"Thats ok. no problem!"
They still blanked me, ignorant bastards!
I have to admit, I will try to make an example of someone if I have been courteous and they have ignored it. This might be by shouting a loud 'that's ok, you're very welcome' or if it's not a door on a slow closing mechanism, I have slammed the door behind them before now. Often the worst culprits are the ones who you would normally have even more thought for, such as older people or mums with kids in tow.
I don't get in a tizz about people pushing in queues in front of me because if it happens, I point out to them that there is a queue and they need to join it at the back. If they don't respond, I won't let them get in front of me. I either push back in front of them or tell the counter staff who was next.
I'm also not averse to telling someone to pick up their litter or take their dirty shoes off a seat in which someone else may have to sit.
