most people here are male so whenever a woman posts somethin then it just gets mobbed!
I am so glad that I am not the only person who feels so concerned about this subject.
Thanks for the support guys and gals if there are any on here lol
Guys, I don't want to be rude, but people don't have to reply to you, it's really up to them.
Always think carefully about what you write to someone - remember you don't know then from Adam (and vice versa), so why not just write to them as a potential friend, and see what develops from there?
I seem to remember one thread which said that a female poster can get in excess of 100 replies and sometime a lot more than that.
We males have to make sure our posts or PMs stand out from the crowd.
good point Byron
How many of you guys would write to a friend and say " i have a 9" ( in your dreams ) dick and would love to f**k you with it. Where do you go dogging, can you travel to meet me " They get deleted.
We are honest and realistic in our advert, thats what you guys need to be.
Good luck and keep trying
love
Jackie and Ben
xxxxxxx
Kit and I do not advertise, so it is not a huge problem to us and we are able to reply to everyone, athough it sometimes takes us a bit of time.
However, the only thing we ask is for people to remember that we are a couple, and I get so many people ignoring that, and ignoring me when they reply.
You can be as polite and thoughtful to Kit as you like, but if you ignore me, you are dead in the water.
If you walk in to a room, and a couple were sitting at a table, would you walk up to the woman and start chatting her up, without even acknowledging that her husband is there?
lhk
Kat
Roger,
I'm going to play Devil's Advocat here.
I believe you have raise some excellent points but (how did you know there was going to be a but), we are talking real life. I don't know if you've tried selling, I have and I have learnt quite a lot from trying to sell. The things I have learnt are, in no particular order:
I'm not a salesman
90% of people you try to sell to aren't interested, even if their life depends on it. You have to make them interested
99% Don't give two hoots about your feelings
If you can't take rejection, do something else.
The important part of this list and what makes a good sales person is someone who can make you interested in what they have to sell.
Remember, you are trying in your email, PM etc to sell yourself. You have an extremely small window of opportuntiy to grab that person's attention.
If the subject line doesn't "grab them", they won't open the message.
If they open the message, the first line has to make them want to read more.
And on it goes so that by the end of your message they want to hit Reply and say, "Roger give me a ring on...."
As for rejection and not getting a reply... Do what the really good sales people do, ignore it and write the next message. Even in Swinging, to some extent, it is a numbers game. Sooner or later someone will read your message and say to themselves "that Roger seems like a nice guy..."
Now before you all flame me, remember I'm playing Devil's Advocat.
As far as I'm aware, every message I've sent has only been to people whose criteria I meet as closely as possible. If the Ad says 25 - 45, I don't send a message. Why? Because, at 48, I'm outside the age range. If the Ad says slim, I don't send a message because I'm no longer slim. Have I received replies? Yes. Not only have I received replies but I have had two contacts not initiated by me.
Now the sad part, some days I have sent out between 20 and 30 messages each one individually written in answer to a particular aspect of the advert. Not just on this site, but on the other Swinging sites that I'm a member of. Do I receive a reply to each one? No, I'm lucky to recieve a reply (positive or negative) to about 1%.
Roger, it can be soul destroying but your 1st positive reply makes everything worth while even if when you meet up you don't hit it off.
My best advice is in two parts: "Try, try, try again" and "be yourself".
Don't give up. It really is worth it.
Roman, I can understand that people cannot be bothered replying to emails where the person on the other end has clearly not bothered to make much effort or is of the "wanna shag, mail me" variety.
Of the ones which merit a reply though, I suspect some of the problem with people not replying to emails with a "thanks but no thanks" note is that to do so would disclose their own email address. Some guys don't seem to be able to take no for an answer or take any form of rejection with spite, so it is understandable that some people choose not to reply, just to preserve their own anonymity, even if they are using a fairly anonymous address.
I think that is a minority of cases though. I think there are also people who don't reply because they have this idea that they will keep you in the pending tray in case the 38 others ahead of you all turn out to be losers, some don't reply because they are incapable of saying "you are not my type" and feel wracked with guilt over trying to put it in writing, and some don't reply because they cannot be bothered. Its a shame, because an email doesn't cost much and manners are free.
I can only speak for myself here, not single women as a whole.
I have had my advert on for about 6-7 weeks now and in that time have received HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of replies.
My intention was to reply to everyone… regardless of if I wanted to meet them or not.
However sometimes this is not possible, due to aol returning messages, accidentally deleting wrong ones… or human error, but the intention was there. So please bear this in mind
Of all the men who replied to my advert, I have only been interested in meeting up with 4 of them (and one of those was a timewaster!) so we are talking about a rejection rate of more than 99 percent.
That is a hell of a lot of no thank you emails to sit typing out.
If all of these people would have been genuine and it was all down to my fussiness I would not have resented the time spent replying to them, but a very large proportion of them had obviously not read my advert properly, or had read it and ignored the criteria!
Ie, the “I know you said blah blah blah … but†type.
These people are not worthy of my time in my opinion and so for the last few weeks I have been ignoring them, and just replying to everyone else.
I can see though why a lot of people would be so fed up with all of it that it would put them off replying to anyone at all.
If you want to blame anyone for u not getting replys.. blame the time wasters and the wannabes, because without them,,,, we would have a lot more time to reply to the genuine people.
And as an after thought.. can I just point out that when we DO reply saying no thankyou, instead of gratitude… we often end up with either abuse telling us that we are not worthy of them anyway, or being constantly pestered asking us to reconsider….. so it works both ways!
:rose: 
