Hi there
I have a bit of a dilemma! We have messed around for a bit and met some nice people over the years where we have had lots of sexy fun.
However, her indoors the other night stated that she had a fantasy and would quite like it if I sorted it out for her. So why the problem I hear you ask.
Simply it’s that we have never messed around on first meet always wanting to get to know that the other person was compatible etc etc.
But this fantasy of hers is one where I arrange a meet without her knowing and basically take her to a pub to meet a bloke who invites us over to his place for coffee. I then have to cuddle her and strip her off (she does say at this point she may protest a little – but only a little) and play wit her in front of this other bloke who then joins us for a sexy night.
Now the action with another male is not a problem, after all we all on her for the same thing, the problem is that how the feck do I know that the bloke is the right one when it’s the 1st meet as this is something we have always avoided in the past!
Any comment gratefully received as I really don’t want to mess up her indoors’ fantasy, but I do want to make it as enjoyable for her and all concerned. Plus how do I explain this to a stranger and not appear to be a complete freak or controlling git?
Cheers all
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wife's fantasy problem -help
Sex God
I dont think its just the other guy that you need to be concerned about. What about you?? You have to be totally happy that fulfilling this fantasy for your partner wont hurt you in any way. You have to be totally comfortable with it because once you do something you can never take it back.
As for the other guy. You just have to be open and honest with him. Tell him your concerns and what is expected of him. Why should you not be able to control the situation? You are trying to fulfill a fantasy for your partner and if its not right then its not right. I'm sure the guy will appreciate that.
If you feel that you need to get to know him first then surely there is nothing stopping you from having a few chats with him first on the phone so you can find out a little more about him and put yourself at ease.
At the end of the day though, it is just sex. How well do you really need to know someone for a one night thing?
As for the other guy. You just have to be open and honest with him. Tell him your concerns and what is expected of him. Why should you not be able to control the situation? You are trying to fulfill a fantasy for your partner and if its not right then its not right. I'm sure the guy will appreciate that.
If you feel that you need to get to know him first then surely there is nothing stopping you from having a few chats with him first on the phone so you can find out a little more about him and put yourself at ease.
At the end of the day though, it is just sex. How well do you really need to know someone for a one night thing?
Quote by Funlovers2009
I dont think its just the other guy that you need to be concerned about. What about you?? You have to be totally happy that fulfilling this fantasy for your partner wont hurt you in any way. You have to be totally comfortable with it because once you do something you can never take it back.
As for the other guy. You just have to be open and honest with him. Tell him your concerns and what is expected of him. Why should you not be able to control the situation? You are trying to fulfill a fantasy for your partner and if its not right then its not right. I'm sure the guy will appreciate that.
If you feel that you need to get to know him first then surely there is nothing stopping you from having a few chats with him first on the phone so you can find out a little more about him and put yourself at ease.
At the end of the day though, it is just sex. How well do you really need to know someone for a one night thing?
:thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Dragonlovers
the problem is that how the feck do I know that the bloke is the right one when it’s the 1st meet as this is something we have always avoided in the past!
Talk to him / them long and hard on here before you decide which one to invite into your bed? The genuine ones will become apparent over time? The chancers will make themselves scarce after a bit.
Not in any massive rush are you? ;)
Quote by Funlovers
At the end of the day though, it is just sex. How well do you really need to know someone for a one night thing?
Shitloads? It's not just purely physical this fantasy thing, is it? There's a mental component as well. Ours are well specific. Not just anyone is invited.
Quote by Funlovers
You have to be totally happy that fulfilling this fantasy for ]] won't hurt in any way. You have to be totally comfortable with it because once you do something you can never take it back.
^this^ is right though IMO.
N x x x ;)
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
At the end of the day though, it is just sex. How well do you really need to know someone for a one night thing?
Shitloads? It's not just purely physical this fantasy thing, is it? There's a mental component as well. Ours are well specific. Not just anyone is invited.
Each to their own hey! IMO (not that that counts for much) I think that some people seem to want to have formed a relationship with people before a meet. That to me is a scary thought.
Sex God
No Funlovers. I just wanna know that the person we invite into our bed a) ain't a psychopath, and b) is sufficiently on our wavelength to make our mutual fantasies come true in a mutual way? We're well past the stage where any fuck we can get counts? ((( You are not to read anything in to that last sentence. No suggestion whatsoever was made in the making of it. It was a simple statement of fact vis a vis the way we are working at the mo. ;) )))
N x x x ;)
N x x x ;)
I am really cool with this, ideally this would lead to a long-term thing, but the idea is to have fun - I want to make it special for her and believe the mental thing is just as important as the physical thing in a scenario like this.
Looks like I'll have a night or 2 out in the future for a beer and a chat then lol
thanks
Looks like I'll have a night or 2 out in the future for a beer and a chat then lol
thanks
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
No Funlovers. I just wanna know that the person we invite into our bed a) ain't a psychopath, and b) is sufficiently on our wavelength to make our mutual fantasies come true in a mutual way? We're well past the stage where any fuck we can get counts? ((( You are not to read anything in to that last sentence. No suggestion whatsoever was made in the making of it. It was a simple statement of fact vis a vis the way we are working at the mo. ;) ))) N x x x ;)
Good good ... as we are not 'fuck anything that moves' people either
Sex God
Quote by Dragonlovers
I am really cool with this, ideally this would lead to a long-term thing, but the idea is to have fun - I want to make it special for her and believe the mental thing is just as important as the physical thing in a scenario like this.
Looks like I'll have a night or 2 out in the future for a beer and a chat then lol
thanks
Sounds like a plan ... I hope everything works out for you xx
Sex God
The two guys should meet first and alone...have a chat whatever..Then not only will mr. feel more comfortable, his wife too will presumably feel confident that her other half has her best interests at heart.
Sexlightened
Quote by skinny
The two guys should meet first and alone...have a chat whatever..Then not only will mr. feel more comfortable, his wife too will presumably feel confident that her other half has her best interests at heart.
This is what I would do if I was trying to sort something out for Mrs P like this.
If the guy is genuine he will have no issue meeting you for a beer so you can see him face to face and have a chat about what you both want.
If I were the guy I'd have no issue with this. It'll also let you know he is genuine and is a swinger rather than a single bloke looking for a free f*ck.
To my way of thinking it is perfectly understandable that you want to know you are not meeting a nutter with your wife after all if you are going to hand your wife over then you need to be able to trust him aswell.
Sexpert
I totally agree with skinny and some of the others too.
I'm here also to play Devil's advocate....
Let's say that you find a bloke and you get on, then you introduce him to the Mrs and he not only fulfills her fantasy, but he does in in such a way that she has never felt "fulfilled" like that before. In fact she is super smitten and is so eager to see him again....on her own...that your head spins....
Sometimes it's like Pandora's box (oo er!) too. Have you both thought about that? Would you be happy then?
Knowledge is power
I'm here also to play Devil's advocate....
Let's say that you find a bloke and you get on, then you introduce him to the Mrs and he not only fulfills her fantasy, but he does in in such a way that she has never felt "fulfilled" like that before. In fact she is super smitten and is so eager to see him again....on her own...that your head spins....
Sometimes it's like Pandora's box (oo er!) too. Have you both thought about that? Would you be happy then?
Knowledge is power
Sex God
Quote by Derek_kelp
I totally agree with skinny and some of the others too.
I'm here also to play Devil's advocate....
Let's say that you find a bloke and you get on, then you introduce him to the Mrs and he not only fulfills her fantasy, but he does in in such a way that she has never felt "fulfilled" like that before. In fact she is super smitten and is so eager to see him again....on her own...that your head spins....
Sometimes it's like Pandora's box (oo er!) too. Have you both thought about that? Would you be happy then?
Knowledge is power
I would say that there is a risk of this happening no matter what you do. I dont get why meeting a single guy without knowing him first would put them at any greater risk. In fact I would say that there is more chance of this happening when you play with people on a regular basis or have formed a relationship where you get to know the peron/people that you are playing with well before playing. This is the reason that we dont tend to play with people more than once as we have seen it happen to others.
When we meet single guys, they are always given Mr Fun's number, never mine so they can never contact me without Mr Fun knowing and if it is a single girl we are meeting then they only get my number.
Sex God
Quote by Derek_kelp
I totally agree with skinny and some of the others too.
I'm here also to play Devil's advocate....
Let's say that you find a bloke and you get on, then you introduce him to the Mrs and he not only fulfills her fantasy, but he does in in such a way that she has never felt "fulfilled" like that before. In fact she is super smitten and is so eager to see him again....on her own...that your head spins....
Sometimes it's like Pandora's box (oo er!) too. Have you both thought about that? Would you be happy then?
Knowledge is power
Fucking hell Mr Kelp, are you beginning to believe your own hype? :lol2:
:thumbup:
I kind of agree with what Funlovers said. Everyone is different everyone builds relationships at varying speeds and for different reasons. If you introduce people who get on and then add sex that is good then I would guess there is a greater chance of shit happening
This is stuff people need talk over before they embark on this journey. At sometime you are going to want the sex to be mind blowing! otherwise it wouldn't be fun would it? I mean does anyone come here for average sex with strangers? Sexpert
lol@hype....I never said it was me
I have seen it happen; the couple were torn, because they didn't even consider it and they messed the guy around because of it......pesky couples lol
Just goes to show you can actually f*ck someone too well! lol
I have seen it happen; the couple were torn, because they didn't even consider it and they messed the guy around because of it......pesky couples lol
Just goes to show you can actually f*ck someone too well! lol
Quote by Cubes
Just a small word of caution: SH is all about consensual acts and we (the mods) will remove any ad for a meet where one half of a couple is in the dark about it. So please be careful how you word the ad to make it clear she's aware you're arranging the meet.
we never do anything without the others say so - although I can believe that some would!
In fact, Dave - although happy to do this, would rather we simply role-play this with a regular friend. After some thought, I agree with him - and we'll keep this as what it started out as - a nice fantasy.
However, thanks for all the input, but we aint stupid and we do know what we're doing although it is nice to see other peoples opinions.
thanks all
