Hi Guys
Just wanted to share something with you in the hope I'll feel better and maybe pick up some good advice.
For months now, I've been suffering from what feels like bullying from my manager. It has got to the point where I feel sick every time he me or calls me. I finally plucked up the courage to report him to HR this morning and they have arranged to have both myself and the manager in separately but now I'm worrying that this will all back fire on me, the head of the department is good friends with him but I couldn't go on like this, I was still shaking for hours after the last conversation I had.
Has anyone ever been in this postion either on the receiving end or in an official capicity?
I would love some wise words x
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Workplace bullying.....
I'm in a rush - but my absolute best advice to you is this (In all seriousness): Next time he does anything out of line simply say, calmly, "I will not be bullied like this. I am going home" and then go to the doctor. Explain to him the situation and what you told us about answering the phone - he will (Or should, if not get a good doctor) write you off sick with stress for a few weeks.
Then, later on, this can be used as a good piece of evidence and HR should really begin to take notice.
Also, speak to your union rep if you have a union.
Then, later on, this can be used as a good piece of evidence and HR should really begin to take notice.
Also, speak to your union rep if you have a union.
I really feel for you in this, as I used to be bullied at work too. I guess going my route of finally fronting up to the thug and telling him that if he didn't leave me alone there wouldn't be enough of him left to fill a crisp bag never mind a body bag isn't an option for you.
Seriously, though, NO-ONE should have to suffer bullying. I would try to keep a log from now on of everything said or done by this nasty piece of work. I presume you still have any e mails as evidence? And is there any possibility of recording any calls from him too?
As for things back-firing on you................if you are sacked, or forced out of your job that is unfair dismissal, and is actionable. It will be seen that you have reported a problem, and then been dismissed.................pretty conclusive evidence if it comes to court action.
Seriously, though, NO-ONE should have to suffer bullying. I would try to keep a log from now on of everything said or done by this nasty piece of work. I presume you still have any e mails as evidence? And is there any possibility of recording any calls from him too?
As for things back-firing on you................if you are sacked, or forced out of your job that is unfair dismissal, and is actionable. It will be seen that you have reported a problem, and then been dismissed.................pretty conclusive evidence if it comes to court action.
wow i can't believe this still goes on.
i am a manager for a large organisation 300,000 employees and i will not tolerate any member of staff from my office being bullied.
i know the organisation that i work for is hot on this, and the perpetrators are shown the doors at the earliest opportunity.
without knowing the facts "feel free to pm me them" my advice to you would be to record all phone calls as of now, and save any e-mails or correspondence to a removable usb drive and keep it safe.
if you are not a member of a union, speak to a trusted colleague just in case you are not alone in this abuse.
i am a manager for a large organisation 300,000 employees and i will not tolerate any member of staff from my office being bullied.
i know the organisation that i work for is hot on this, and the perpetrators are shown the doors at the earliest opportunity.
without knowing the facts "feel free to pm me them" my advice to you would be to record all phone calls as of now, and save any e-mails or correspondence to a removable usb drive and keep it safe.
if you are not a member of a union, speak to a trusted colleague just in case you are not alone in this abuse.
All the above is bang on advice. I havn't been bullied since I was twelve years old, but remember it vividly. That was sorted out in a back alley with a piece of 3x2 timber, never happened again.
The most important thing to remember is that a bully can only be one if nobody else knows. Now you have outed him for what he is, he shouldn't be able to do it again. When you get an e-mail from him send it on to HR let them see it for what it is. I do hope you have copied the ones from before you reported him, that will really get him into trouble.
As a last resort, let us know who he is, and we can send der boys round.
hope you get a result. xx
The most important thing to remember is that a bully can only be one if nobody else knows. Now you have outed him for what he is, he shouldn't be able to do it again. When you get an e-mail from him send it on to HR let them see it for what it is. I do hope you have copied the ones from before you reported him, that will really get him into trouble.
As a last resort, let us know who he is, and we can send der boys round.
hope you get a result. xx
This reminds me of a situation which happened a few years ago. The manager seemed to have various issues and went about it in an aggressive way. For a long while I thought I was being picked on and consequently behaved that way.
It turned out the manager was getting emails from a work colleague. This guy was a real nerd and was pointing the finger at me. The manager was worried and then began to hound me.
This could have gone on forever, But I was lucky to find the nerd's pc logged in and printed all his emails. They were all complete crap fantasies about other people's abilities and performance. So I was able to confront him with the evidence. He couldn't live with the humiliation. He left a month later.
So you need to know why the manager is getting at you. It may be the same reason as me. get the facts and it will be sorted out. Forget about discretion and loyalty to the company. Your well being is the most important thing.
There are also a lot of crap managers about. many take on jobs which are way beyond their ability and suffer stress, which they take out on other people.
Remember that some companies work 'off the company policy' and encourage their managers to take risks and push people and such like. However if there is any hint of retaliation from the staff, the company soon backs off and the manager is not supported and very often made to resign. There is too much at stake for the company.
So go to HR, have it all out and find out why he is behaving like this. If there are no real reasons, you will win the case.
It turned out the manager was getting emails from a work colleague. This guy was a real nerd and was pointing the finger at me. The manager was worried and then began to hound me.
This could have gone on forever, But I was lucky to find the nerd's pc logged in and printed all his emails. They were all complete crap fantasies about other people's abilities and performance. So I was able to confront him with the evidence. He couldn't live with the humiliation. He left a month later.
So you need to know why the manager is getting at you. It may be the same reason as me. get the facts and it will be sorted out. Forget about discretion and loyalty to the company. Your well being is the most important thing.
There are also a lot of crap managers about. many take on jobs which are way beyond their ability and suffer stress, which they take out on other people.
Remember that some companies work 'off the company policy' and encourage their managers to take risks and push people and such like. However if there is any hint of retaliation from the staff, the company soon backs off and the manager is not supported and very often made to resign. There is too much at stake for the company.
So go to HR, have it all out and find out why he is behaving like this. If there are no real reasons, you will win the case.
I feel for you
Its not nice dreading going to work
I think you have taken the correct route by reporting it
It is a risky route but there was no safe route what ever way you go about it
If it all goes pete tounge and you are not in a union i have experence in representing people in this kind of situation and i would be more than happy to look at your case and give you advise
Good luck
Bi-Guy-Notts
ps bullies usualy fade away when confronted
well done for taking a stand
Its not nice dreading going to work
I think you have taken the correct route by reporting it
It is a risky route but there was no safe route what ever way you go about it
If it all goes pete tounge and you are not in a union i have experence in representing people in this kind of situation and i would be more than happy to look at your case and give you advise
Good luck
Bi-Guy-Notts
ps bullies usualy fade away when confronted
well done for taking a stand
Orgasminator
Its totally unacceptable that you'd be subjected to this kind of behaviour. Everyone else has given good advice already but try and save the e-mails onto a removable disk and get them printed out aswell (incase the manager has your e-mail account "accidentally" deleted).
Quote by Velvet Lips
Hi Guys
Just wanted to share something with you in the hope I'll feel better and maybe pick up some good advice.
So sorry to hear about this babe
I myself would record all future confo's with him so i have hard evidence.. can use something like a mini tape recorder or an mp3 player that has recording facilities on it.
Shaz x
Sex God
Oh this does go on........
i am in the middle of bulluing at the moment....my boss who seams to think i am his gimp .
i finally kicked of yesterday and said stiop taking the piss....in my case my boss is a director so he thinks he can get away with blue murder (sorry blue for using ur name).
i am looking for a new job so they can stick there job up there arse.
MikeC
i am in the middle of bulluing at the moment....my boss who seams to think i am his gimp .
i finally kicked of yesterday and said stiop taking the piss....in my case my boss is a director so he thinks he can get away with blue murder (sorry blue for using ur name).
i am looking for a new job so they can stick there job up there arse.
MikeC
Sex God
Quote by vdub
I'm in a rush - but my absolute best advice to you is this (In all seriousness): Next time he does anything out of line simply say, calmly, "I will not be bullied like this. I am going home" and then go to the doctor. Explain to him the situation and what you told us about answering the phone - he will (Or should, if not get a good doctor) write you off sick with stress for a few weeks.
Then, later on, this can be used as a good piece of evidence and HR should really begin to take notice.
Also, speak to your union rep if you have a union.
been there, done that, and so far along with the recording of calls, convo's and e-mails, this is the best piece of advice you have had so far.
I was put on the sick on full pay for six months due to stress caused by bullying, told the doc that if i had to see that manager again just once, i would not be held responsible for my actions. By the time i got back to work the ass wipe had been sacked.
feel free to pm if you want the details.
Sex God
Velvet Lips, I'm afraid I can't offer you any concrete advice, except plan what you are going to do, don't do anything hasty. The best of luck to you.
It's good to see that despite the changes in this site, members still rally round someone in trouble, with lots of good advice and offers of help.
Mike.
It's good to see that despite the changes in this site, members still rally round someone in trouble, with lots of good advice and offers of help.
Mike.
Sex God
all the advice about emails is bang on. even if you've deleted them from youir inbox, they should be on the company server somewhere. anything that supports your claim against him, print it out and take it with you as evidence.
is there anyone else who might be prepared to act as witness to his actions against you, or has been on the receiving end too?
at the end of the day, now you've made a formal complaint, he'd be stupid to continue with anything that could be construed as bullying. it will surely be very uncomfortable for a while, but at least HR are aware there's an issue they need to keep an eye on, and they'll be aware that the fault most probably lies with the manager, not you..
don't suppose you have a union rep do you? i can't remember which ones off the top of my head, but there are some unions you can join as a single member, even if they're not allowed in the workplace as such.
neil x x x ;)
is there anyone else who might be prepared to act as witness to his actions against you, or has been on the receiving end too?
at the end of the day, now you've made a formal complaint, he'd be stupid to continue with anything that could be construed as bullying. it will surely be very uncomfortable for a while, but at least HR are aware there's an issue they need to keep an eye on, and they'll be aware that the fault most probably lies with the manager, not you..
don't suppose you have a union rep do you? i can't remember which ones off the top of my head, but there are some unions you can join as a single member, even if they're not allowed in the workplace as such.
neil x x x ;)
Velvet Lips,
I can't really offer anything better than has been mentioned. I would strongly recommend a union rep to attend any meetings with you though or a trusted colleague who knows how you are feeling. Also take as much evidence with you as you can, that way it is not so much your word against his, but you can back up what you are saying.
Most employers these days take claims of workplace bullying very seriously (as they should) and a solid case with evidence presented by you should be sufficient to make them take some action.
However pally the head of dept is with your manager should not be an issue here.
Wishing you all the best.
Minx x x
I can't really offer anything better than has been mentioned. I would strongly recommend a union rep to attend any meetings with you though or a trusted colleague who knows how you are feeling. Also take as much evidence with you as you can, that way it is not so much your word against his, but you can back up what you are saying.
Most employers these days take claims of workplace bullying very seriously (as they should) and a solid case with evidence presented by you should be sufficient to make them take some action.
However pally the head of dept is with your manager should not be an issue here.
Wishing you all the best.
Minx x x
Sex God
Hi Velvet lips
My thoughts are with you at this unpleasant time at work. In this day & age people should not be able to get away with this but unfortunately they do. :fuckinghell: Please take note of what all these other kind peeps have said above. Keep string as you haven't done anything wrong. You have friends here so any support you need, at any time, just pm me.
Take care & lots of :therethere: :therethere: :therethere:
My thoughts are with you at this unpleasant time at work. In this day & age people should not be able to get away with this but unfortunately they do. :fuckinghell: Please take note of what all these other kind peeps have said above. Keep string as you haven't done anything wrong. You have friends here so any support you need, at any time, just pm me.
Take care & lots of :therethere: :therethere: :therethere:
Sexlightened
hmmm..i really do feel for you mate.....and the advse given is really good, and i would if at all possible try to record waht has been said, and also see the doc
not experienced anyrthing like it....but i can almost imagine what it would be like!
not experienced anyrthing like it....but i can almost imagine what it would be like!
Hello again Guys!
What can I say, you lot are absolutely amazing, thank you so much for all your best wishes and offers of help, and all to someone you haven’t meet! Big love and hugs back to you all :therethere:
I’ll just answer some of the points mentioned;
I have some evidence of behaviour, in the form of , ( all printed off) these are very clearly demonstrate his attitude and contain allegations which I can easily disprove.
I am not office based so I don’t have the support of colleges or any witnesses. I did make an off the record complaint to the head of the dept some months back about the lack of support I get and the shouting and swearing I’m subjected to, so I plan to mention that again at the HR meeting.
Yesterday, I did terminate a telephone call from my manager saying, I am not happy to be shouted out like this, I am reporting this. I haven’t been to my doctor yet, I am desperately looking for another job, so I don’t want a poor sick record.
This man only manages two people and the other guy has been off for months with stress, I found out today the occupational health adviser has recommended that when he returns next week he is managed by someone else.
I am not a member of a union, and have never worked in an environment where any else was, so I have no experience of this. It worries me that a couple of you have suggested I need to have someone in with me, I don’t feel I have done anything wrong, am I being naïve here???
Duncanlondon, you have raised an interesting and valid point, there is in fact, some major changes going on in my company which has caused unrest for us all, and for this reason I have been making excuses for him. But I won’t allow someone to shout at me in my personal life, and now I have got to a stage where a phone call reduces me to uncontrollable tears I think its time to say this is unacceptable at work as well.
Jomu - I realise now , maybe I should have put this in writing, if HR ask me to do that, I will.
Bi Guy Notts – Thank you for your very kind offer of help, lets hope now it all out in the open I won’t need it, but you are a sweety to offer xxxx
Mike C – my heart goes out to you, no doubt you just want to get on with your job in peace like I do, I hope you find a new job soon ( you can have my old one if I find a new one!
)
SurreyNewbie – I hear what you are saying, I said “ what feels like bullying†because its such a harsh accusation to make about anybody, and I would never want to falsely accuse anyone His style is aggressive, and he seem to think that because he is my boss he can bollock me in what ever way suits him when he feels I have done something wrong.
I think this covers every thing, if have not named you, it doesn’t mean I don’t value your point, I’m just getting cramp in my hand! xxx
What can I say, you lot are absolutely amazing, thank you so much for all your best wishes and offers of help, and all to someone you haven’t meet! Big love and hugs back to you all :therethere:
I’ll just answer some of the points mentioned;
I have some evidence of behaviour, in the form of , ( all printed off) these are very clearly demonstrate his attitude and contain allegations which I can easily disprove.
I am not office based so I don’t have the support of colleges or any witnesses. I did make an off the record complaint to the head of the dept some months back about the lack of support I get and the shouting and swearing I’m subjected to, so I plan to mention that again at the HR meeting.
Yesterday, I did terminate a telephone call from my manager saying, I am not happy to be shouted out like this, I am reporting this. I haven’t been to my doctor yet, I am desperately looking for another job, so I don’t want a poor sick record.
This man only manages two people and the other guy has been off for months with stress, I found out today the occupational health adviser has recommended that when he returns next week he is managed by someone else.
I am not a member of a union, and have never worked in an environment where any else was, so I have no experience of this. It worries me that a couple of you have suggested I need to have someone in with me, I don’t feel I have done anything wrong, am I being naïve here???
Duncanlondon, you have raised an interesting and valid point, there is in fact, some major changes going on in my company which has caused unrest for us all, and for this reason I have been making excuses for him. But I won’t allow someone to shout at me in my personal life, and now I have got to a stage where a phone call reduces me to uncontrollable tears I think its time to say this is unacceptable at work as well.
Jomu - I realise now , maybe I should have put this in writing, if HR ask me to do that, I will.
Bi Guy Notts – Thank you for your very kind offer of help, lets hope now it all out in the open I won’t need it, but you are a sweety to offer xxxx
Mike C – my heart goes out to you, no doubt you just want to get on with your job in peace like I do, I hope you find a new job soon ( you can have my old one if I find a new one!
)SurreyNewbie – I hear what you are saying, I said “ what feels like bullying†because its such a harsh accusation to make about anybody, and I would never want to falsely accuse anyone His style is aggressive, and he seem to think that because he is my boss he can bollock me in what ever way suits him when he feels I have done something wrong.
I think this covers every thing, if have not named you, it doesn’t mean I don’t value your point, I’m just getting cramp in my hand! xxx
I was going to take a job recently with the local council in the architecture department (what i do) but heard some rumours of bullying going on in that department. What had been happening was the 2 head guys and some of their cronies had been picking on a couple of the newer employees, basically belittleing them and making their lives hell. In the end the two who were bullied got signed off and eventually resigned, the main bullies were suspended but got back in to the same managment jobs they had before. There was one establised guy who stood up for the parties who were bullied and he was eventually forced out of the department and ultimately out of the local council.
I went in for my interview and met with the 2 head guys who had instigated the bullying, they were basically a couple of creeps! i got that impression as soon as i met them. when i heard about this they had already offered me the job, but i decided to make a stand and turn it down cos of what these guys had done and in my opinion were capable of doing again! so i waited as long as possible to fuck them up a bit for staff then wrote them a letter saying basically that i wouldn't work in a place with a recent history of that shit!
So yes it does still go on, still rife!
I have sympathy with anyone who is bullied, i was as a kid! but actually i now play in a band with the guy who bullied me! so it shows people can change i suppose! lol
good luck with your situaltion and i feel the only way to deal with it is to stand up to them and demand they be made an example off! i'm sure you aren't the only one and if you make your feelings known others will speak up in your defence
cheers
ewen
I went in for my interview and met with the 2 head guys who had instigated the bullying, they were basically a couple of creeps! i got that impression as soon as i met them. when i heard about this they had already offered me the job, but i decided to make a stand and turn it down cos of what these guys had done and in my opinion were capable of doing again! so i waited as long as possible to fuck them up a bit for staff then wrote them a letter saying basically that i wouldn't work in a place with a recent history of that shit!
So yes it does still go on, still rife!
I have sympathy with anyone who is bullied, i was as a kid! but actually i now play in a band with the guy who bullied me! so it shows people can change i suppose! lol
good luck with your situaltion and i feel the only way to deal with it is to stand up to them and demand they be made an example off! i'm sure you aren't the only one and if you make your feelings known others will speak up in your defence
cheers
ewen
Hi Lippy.
Firstly, try not to let it get you down. You have friends here for support.
Secondly, my strictly business advices is to follow this guideline:
Check your contract for grievance this will then pan out as:
1. Ask for a meeting with your manager.
2. Get a colleague or friend to attend the meeting (it is your right).
3. In advance write down what you want to say, giving examples of alledged poor treatment. Verbally go through these in front of a witness beforehand and then provide a copy to the manager.
4. If nothing changes, then take the matter up with his/her superior or the HR manager, offering a copy of the statement you provided before.
This will scare the hell out of most employers and could potentially stop the abuse at source immediately.
Remember the power of the written word.
If it continues, visit Citizens advice or if you can afford to straight away, see an employment law specialist for advice on your particualr case.
Hope all goes well
Firstly, try not to let it get you down. You have friends here for support.
Secondly, my strictly business advices is to follow this guideline:
Check your contract for grievance this will then pan out as:
1. Ask for a meeting with your manager.
2. Get a colleague or friend to attend the meeting (it is your right).
3. In advance write down what you want to say, giving examples of alledged poor treatment. Verbally go through these in front of a witness beforehand and then provide a copy to the manager.
4. If nothing changes, then take the matter up with his/her superior or the HR manager, offering a copy of the statement you provided before.
This will scare the hell out of most employers and could potentially stop the abuse at source immediately.
Remember the power of the written word.
If it continues, visit Citizens advice or if you can afford to straight away, see an employment law specialist for advice on your particualr case.
Hope all goes well
I am shocked to see that bullying is still so rife in companies nowadays. I had an incident a few years ago where over a period of 6 months I was made to feel useless by my manager. It all started when my girlfriend at the time took the piss out of him at an Xmas party. From then on he just plugged away at me everyday till last thing at night spreading rumours. Putting doctored photos on the notice board. One day he sent me an inapropriate text message I told HR he was straight out the door. Sacked for guess what Sexual Harrasment.
My advice! Its all about the eviddence. The dept works better now than it ever has done. Turns out he was the most hated person in the deptment. But noone would stand upto him.
My advice! Its all about the eviddence. The dept works better now than it ever has done. Turns out he was the most hated person in the deptment. But noone would stand upto him.
hi hunny and have a big 
to make you feel abit better.
well personally i have not experianced it but i worked in retail managment for a good few years and saw it happen to someone there. i cant give you anymore advice than as already been said but id just like to say that we are all behind you and are here for you
i hope it all works out hun and keep us informed :kiss:
to make you feel abit better.well personally i have not experianced it but i worked in retail managment for a good few years and saw it happen to someone there. i cant give you anymore advice than as already been said but id just like to say that we are all behind you and are here for you
i hope it all works out hun and keep us informed :kiss:
Master of Sex
Quote by Velvet Lips
Hi Guys
Just wanted to share something with you in the hope I'll feel better and maybe pick up some good advice.
For months now, I've been suffering from what feels like bullying from my manager. It has got to the point where I feel sick every time he me or calls me. I finally plucked up the courage to report him to HR this morning and they have arranged to have both myself and the manager in separately but now I'm worrying that this will all back fire on me, the head of the department is good friends with him but I couldn't go on like this, I was still shaking for hours after the last conversation I had.
Has anyone ever been in this postion either on the receiving end or in an official capicity?
I would love some wise words x
I suffered like you have for a long time. I'm a security guard and have had people in the different stores that I've worked in think that this gives them the right to treat me like shit. I have had reports put in against me for:
Saying good morning
Opening a door for a female member of staff
Having a member of the staff's drunken boyfriend threaten me and when I responded I got a verbal warning...
The list goes on - it was basically the worst kind of pettiness, the things that were used as complaints weren't even complaints, just people looking for petty ways to get at someone. I ended up sick with worry and doubting myself - what had I said or done (I found out later that my 'crime' was that I'm part-time student. Apparently this means I'm getting above myself)
So I joined a Union. Many people may mock them, but they have the power and the right to ensure that you receive fair treatment. Less than a month after I had joined, a female member of staff who had treated me like shit from the moment I arrived started giving me hassle, including getting male friends to phone the store to speak to me and say how they would be waiting for me when I finished work. On this particular occasion she decided that she cold swear and threaten me, but when I told her to leave me the fuck alone, it was sexual harrassment. So I was summoned to the Manager's office, where he was practically rubbing his hands with glee. When he had told what I was there for, he then launched into a tirade against me. I just took out my mobile phone and phoned my Union rep.
She arrived with twenty minutes. Within half-an-hour of her getting there, the managers was apologsing profusely, the female member of staff was claiming it was all a joke.....
My best advice to you is to get a Union. They are on your side and will fight your corner.
As I'm pretty new here you may be already sorted. I've been in a union for years just in case this or anyother back handed shennaigans happen. Its probably ben said before but keep records of everything this tosser has said or done, you need support from your HR Manager but I sometimes find that they 'piss in the same pot' as the bossess!
My union is the Transport and General Workers Union (T&G) and they have a web site which could maybe give you more help and advice.
Hope the bastard gets his comeupence!
My union is the Transport and General Workers Union (T&G) and they have a web site which could maybe give you more help and advice.
Hope the bastard gets his comeupence!
Quote by punx_69
As I'm pretty new here you may be already sorted. I've been in a union for years just in case this or anyother back handed shennaigans happen. Its probably ben said before but keep records of everything this tosser has said or done, you need support from your HR Manager but I sometimes find that they 'piss in the same pot' as the bossess!
My union is the Transport and General Workers Union (T&G) and they have a web site which could maybe give you more help and advice.
Hope the bastard gets his comeupence!
Another classic
Quote by Bloke2005
As I'm pretty new here you may be already sorted. I've been in a union for years just in case this or anyother back handed shennaigans happen. Its probably ben said before but keep records of everything this tosser has said or done, you need support from your HR Manager but I sometimes find that they 'piss in the same pot' as the bossess!
My union is the Transport and General Workers Union (T&G) and they have a web site which could maybe give you more help and advice.
Hope the bastard gets his comeupence!
Another classic
Erm......sorry Bloke2005..is that a dig at my reply? Just wondered if I'd said something wrong?
