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WORST JOKE
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Sex God
Veternray,Veternary, theirs something up with my pigeon,,,,is it a wood pidgeon?,,,,,,, no its a real one 
Sex God
veternary,veternary,theirs something up with my cat,,,,,,,,,,, is it a tom? ,,,,,no,,ive brought it with me
Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"
Man - "I've got an orange willy, doc."
Doc - "What??"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign
of stress; do you suffer from stress?
Man - "Not really"
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I
worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Doc - "That sounds very stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the
salary and I feel really appreciated"
Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non- stop and
puts me down every chance she gets"
Doc - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits "
Man - "I've got an orange willy, doc."
Doc - "What??"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign
of stress; do you suffer from stress?
Man - "Not really"
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I
worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Doc - "That sounds very stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the
salary and I feel really appreciated"
Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non- stop and
puts me down every chance she gets"
Doc - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits "
ops:well i've nearly just wet myself!!! i was still laughing at the banana going to the doctor one today - and i read it last night!!!
Ok... here's a couple more....
What do you call a fish with no eyes??
A fsh.
What do giraffes have that no other animal does?
Baby giraffes
What do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?
A stick
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
Ok... here's a couple more....
What do you call a fish with no eyes??
A fsh.
What do giraffes have that no other animal does?
Baby giraffes
What do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?
A stick
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
It was a mystery fit only for the great Sherlock Holmes, himself. The day after every full moon, members of a Japanese fraternity would be found dead in the hall on the fourth floor. The victims were crushed and there were signs of skid marks and tire tracks on the floor. Holmes was called into the case. It quickly became apparent that the only student that was not frightened was a young man named Nagawa who quickly became the object of Holmes's suspicion.
The evening of the next full moon, while peering through the keyhole of Nagawa's room, they saw that the student was no longer there, and in his place was a Japanese compact car!!!
The next morning Holmes confronted Nagawa. "When the moon is full, you become an automobile, and you run over your fellow students on the fourth floor."
"But how did you know that?", gasped Nagawa.
Holmes replied, "Elementary, my were-Datsun!!!"
At this, Nagwa panicked, and ran down the corridor. As he opened the door to escape, he turned into a car again, but as he expanded he became trapped in the doorway. The pressure was so great that he exploded and no trace of him was ever found, again.
But it rained Datsun cogs for days!
The evening of the next full moon, while peering through the keyhole of Nagawa's room, they saw that the student was no longer there, and in his place was a Japanese compact car!!!
The next morning Holmes confronted Nagawa. "When the moon is full, you become an automobile, and you run over your fellow students on the fourth floor."
"But how did you know that?", gasped Nagawa.
Holmes replied, "Elementary, my were-Datsun!!!"
At this, Nagwa panicked, and ran down the corridor. As he opened the door to escape, he turned into a car again, but as he expanded he became trapped in the doorway. The pressure was so great that he exploded and no trace of him was ever found, again.
But it rained Datsun cogs for days!
As the Joker I will only tell this Joke with the caveat that no offence is meant to anyone ok!
Yasser Arraffat is lying on his deathbed in a french hospital.
His wife approaches him and asks him has he any last wishes?
"yes " he says " let me wear the socks of tottenham hotspurs."
"the shorts of rangers"
" the shirt of newcastle "
His wife answers "why my,love ,not the palastinian national colours ?"
"Because my love I want to die in Gazas strip"
no offence intended Joker
Yasser Arraffat is lying on his deathbed in a french hospital.
His wife approaches him and asks him has he any last wishes?
"yes " he says " let me wear the socks of tottenham hotspurs."
"the shorts of rangers"
" the shirt of newcastle "
His wife answers "why my,love ,not the palastinian national colours ?"
"Because my love I want to die in Gazas strip"
no offence intended Joker
