I was chatting to someone I met in the vanilla world recently that made a decision to only have one child, before having any.
I understand there are people around that one was all they had due to reasons outside of choice.
But would you or did you make the decision before having any that one is all you wanted?
I personally never only wanted one I come from a family of four and while we argued when younger, I would never of wanted to be an only child.
I have always felt there are a lot of advantages of having siblings, even though they can be annoying at times too.
Some of the benifits I feel having siblings has given me, is to have the ability to compromise, share, that you can argue and sort out differences.
I just feel there are more advantages to be gained for the child than just having one child.
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Would you choose to have one child?
Sex God
I've pretty much made the decision not to have any! :mrgreen:
Sex God
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I've pretty much made the decision not to have any! :mrgreen:
So has my sister, she said she can have nieces and newphews when she likes then hand them back.
I don't have that either... my brother is of the same opinion as me. :giggle:
Much to my mother's disgust I might add!
its a personal choice at the end of the day, whether it be an only child, a hoard of sproglets or none at all
my sister has the hoard
i have none, that was my choice and at 40 its one i dont regret one bit, and i always say it was my sister being 9 yrs younger than me that put me off kids!
my sister has the hoard
i have none, that was my choice and at 40 its one i dont regret one bit, and i always say it was my sister being 9 yrs younger than me that put me off kids!
I never really set a figure. We do have two girls and we always get asked if we are going to try for a boy... Kids are expensive hobbies 
and we couldn't afford to have any more.
There is an age gap of nearly 4 years between our two. If we hadn't of had our youngest when we did I very much doubt that we would have had another purely for the fact that the eldest would have been starting school and I wouldn't have wanted to go back to the baby days.
and we couldn't afford to have any more.There is an age gap of nearly 4 years between our two. If we hadn't of had our youngest when we did I very much doubt that we would have had another purely for the fact that the eldest would have been starting school and I wouldn't have wanted to go back to the baby days.
I have 3 sisters, and my parents were able to manage with just one car (pre-rear seatbelt laws). We were squashed in together in the back and one of my sisters regularly got car-sick. At one stage our 'family' car was an MGBGT and days out were rare but miserable. It made me vow to have no more than 3 kids.
Then people carriers took off and it was realistically possible to safely transport more than 3 passengers in the rear of a vehicle. Mr. Stuff is ruing that day as we are now the proud parents of 5 (not-so) little darlings, and fill a 7-seater.
If I knew then what I know now, I might have considered stopping at one child to be an attractive proposition. At the time I enjoyed being pregnant (most of it anyway), and adored having babies to care for, so kept getting broody. I was fortunate enough to have the support of a wonderful husband and the ability to successfully produce babies.
Not that I'd send 4 of them back, but I know we'd be a lot wealthier and could get by with a smaller car/house etc. We wouldn't be feeling so guilty about making a huge impact on the diminishing resources this planet has to offer. We also wouldn't have to keep hearing the same comments about "Didn't you have a TV?" and "Are you aiming for a girl/football team?".
I do agree that siblings learn to share better, take turns, and appreciate what they're given in a way that singletons don't. But single children probably enjoy more of their parents' attention, and are in a better position to acquire a high level of education. They may also learn how to amuse themselves better.
Some people do not have the choice whether to have children, or how many, and I consider myself very fortunate to have what I have. It wasn't always easy, and bringing them up is hard work, but I expect to reap great rewards one day - if they ever get good jobs and leave home
Then people carriers took off and it was realistically possible to safely transport more than 3 passengers in the rear of a vehicle. Mr. Stuff is ruing that day as we are now the proud parents of 5 (not-so) little darlings, and fill a 7-seater.
If I knew then what I know now, I might have considered stopping at one child to be an attractive proposition. At the time I enjoyed being pregnant (most of it anyway), and adored having babies to care for, so kept getting broody. I was fortunate enough to have the support of a wonderful husband and the ability to successfully produce babies.
Not that I'd send 4 of them back, but I know we'd be a lot wealthier and could get by with a smaller car/house etc. We wouldn't be feeling so guilty about making a huge impact on the diminishing resources this planet has to offer. We also wouldn't have to keep hearing the same comments about "Didn't you have a TV?" and "Are you aiming for a girl/football team?".
I do agree that siblings learn to share better, take turns, and appreciate what they're given in a way that singletons don't. But single children probably enjoy more of their parents' attention, and are in a better position to acquire a high level of education. They may also learn how to amuse themselves better.
Some people do not have the choice whether to have children, or how many, and I consider myself very fortunate to have what I have. It wasn't always easy, and bringing them up is hard work, but I expect to reap great rewards one day - if they ever get good jobs and leave home
Sex God
I've got no kids yet 
but deperately want some :bounce: There was 2 of us, me and my younger sister, and I think I would like 2 kids also, possibly three. But I don't think I could have only one. I had a childhood friend who was an only child, and I always felt sorry for her, as she never knew what it was like to have a brother or sister.
I couldn't have only one child, I may need the older one to babysit :mrgreen:
But seriously, I can see the advantages of having just the one child, no feelings of jealousy or the "spoilt" things that may come with it i.e. one getting spoilt more than the other.
Miss Cream xxx
but deperately want some :bounce: There was 2 of us, me and my younger sister, and I think I would like 2 kids also, possibly three. But I don't think I could have only one. I had a childhood friend who was an only child, and I always felt sorry for her, as she never knew what it was like to have a brother or sister.I couldn't have only one child, I may need the older one to babysit :mrgreen:
But seriously, I can see the advantages of having just the one child, no feelings of jealousy or the "spoilt" things that may come with it i.e. one getting spoilt more than the other.
Miss Cream xxx
Sex God
Children :scared:
I think you should have to apply for a licence to have one and you should have to go to parents school. and why don't i get my own special parking spot at the supermarket for my Jag, it's noisy, smelly, messy and consumes the planets resources (although it's never had a screaming fit in the sweety isle cos it can't have something)
Yes, thats what should happen, i should get classic car tax credits, cos i chose that instead of kids :scared:
now, where's Alistair Darling so i can tell him my great idea :mrgreen:
I think you should have to apply for a licence to have one and you should have to go to parents school. and why don't i get my own special parking spot at the supermarket for my Jag, it's noisy, smelly, messy and consumes the planets resources (although it's never had a screaming fit in the sweety isle cos it can't have something)
Yes, thats what should happen, i should get classic car tax credits, cos i chose that instead of kids :scared:
now, where's Alistair Darling so i can tell him my great idea :mrgreen:
i would never chose to have just one child, of course for some people they dont have a choice tho
i feel that its good for children to have siblings, they learn to share, compromise and best of all they have companionship
with the exception of gary (who is an only child) all other adults and children i have met (and who i know to be an only child) have been fairly selfish and lack the ability to share and get along with others, they seem to think the world revolves round them !
i have 2 birth children, a step child and another to hard to explain about
my own birth children say that they love having a sibling
i feel that its good for children to have siblings, they learn to share, compromise and best of all they have companionship
with the exception of gary (who is an only child) all other adults and children i have met (and who i know to be an only child) have been fairly selfish and lack the ability to share and get along with others, they seem to think the world revolves round them !
i have 2 birth children, a step child and another to hard to explain about
my own birth children say that they love having a sibling
Dave and I have 1 beautiful daughter and we kinda made the decision to have one, we spent 6 yrs trying 3 miscarriages and painful fertility treatment and a pregnancy from hell!! She is very much worth it but knew we would never have any more...
I am one of 3 and Dave one of 2 my brother has 2 children and my sister 3, Dave's brother also only has 1 child, so plenty of nieces and nephews
Sam x
I am one of 3 and Dave one of 2 my brother has 2 children and my sister 3, Dave's brother also only has 1 child, so plenty of nieces and nephews
Sam x
Sex God
I didn't have an opinion about having kids - wasn't bothered either way - but then I was only 24 when I fell pregnant. Maybe I would have got broody eventually (I doubt it though).
Having suffered 9 months of discomfort and poking by random medical staff (and not in the nice way either), being treated like a brainless moron by same staff, 12 hours of screaming agony (even after 2 loads of Pethadine - which I discovered later is simply a sedative to keep you quiet NOT an analgesic), and 3 years of bone-weary exhaustion including falling asleep at the sink while washing up. I would NEVER consider doing it again. I can't imagine why anyone would do it twice.
I thought I was pregnant again a few years back - I got myself down to the docs quick smart and said "you'd better make a booking - I'm either having a sterilisation or an abortion followed by a sterilisation".
This is a totally personal viewpoint and intends no comment on people who make different choices - all strength to them.
Having suffered 9 months of discomfort and poking by random medical staff (and not in the nice way either), being treated like a brainless moron by same staff, 12 hours of screaming agony (even after 2 loads of Pethadine - which I discovered later is simply a sedative to keep you quiet NOT an analgesic), and 3 years of bone-weary exhaustion including falling asleep at the sink while washing up. I would NEVER consider doing it again. I can't imagine why anyone would do it twice.
I thought I was pregnant again a few years back - I got myself down to the docs quick smart and said "you'd better make a booking - I'm either having a sterilisation or an abortion followed by a sterilisation".
This is a totally personal viewpoint and intends no comment on people who make different choices - all strength to them.
I'm an only child and swore I'd either have a few or none! I hated being an only child and still do!
I did say at 22 that I wouldn't have any, however I now have 2 and a step daughter. My kids get on brilliantly with each other and don't seem to have any of the problems I had, ie being lonely etc.
I did say at 22 that I wouldn't have any, however I now have 2 and a step daughter. My kids get on brilliantly with each other and don't seem to have any of the problems I had, ie being lonely etc.
