I would and have done. My eight year old was caught by one of the neighbours climbing through a window into another neighbours house while they were out. I took him to the police station explianed what had happen and left him there for 3 hrs. After a real going over from the sargent there and the thought of not coming home i now have no problems with him at all.
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Would you shop your own child?
It depends what they were caught doing. I brought my sons up to know the difference between right and wrong but I'm under no illusion that they'll do, or have done, something daft someday.
If it was serious, yes I would shop them. If it had a detrimental effect on someone else's life, yes I would. If it was fairly minor then the hounds of Hell would be released and they would get to see the full extent of my temper. Thankfully they've been been pretty well behaved so far.
However, if they were innocent of something they were accused of, I would defend them to the end
If it was serious, yes I would shop them. If it had a detrimental effect on someone else's life, yes I would. If it was fairly minor then the hounds of Hell would be released and they would get to see the full extent of my temper. Thankfully they've been been pretty well behaved so far.
However, if they were innocent of something they were accused of, I would defend them to the end
Casanova
After reading through the posts on this subject, i hover towards yes {no matter how minor}
From when my daughter was as young as 3 years old {now 12} whenever you want to buy something from a shop ALWAYS hold it in a position where there is no mis-understanding as to whether or not she was intent on buying or stealing.
Teaching kids right from wrong should be easy.
{she recently went in a neighbours blue recycle bin and took newspapers for our pets bedding, neighbour spotted this, daughter legged it home, I promptly took her back to the neighour, and explained reason for incident. {who couldnt stop laughing at my daughter looking at me as if i was a loony cos the papers where being thrown out
}
The lesson was .......ask before ya take or ya have to be seen out with a loony mother
It was something minor but she understood my reasoning .......people think more of you by being honest than by legging it
dee
From when my daughter was as young as 3 years old {now 12} whenever you want to buy something from a shop ALWAYS hold it in a position where there is no mis-understanding as to whether or not she was intent on buying or stealing.
Teaching kids right from wrong should be easy.
{she recently went in a neighbours blue recycle bin and took newspapers for our pets bedding, neighbour spotted this, daughter legged it home, I promptly took her back to the neighour, and explained reason for incident. {who couldnt stop laughing at my daughter looking at me as if i was a loony cos the papers where being thrown out
}The lesson was .......ask before ya take or ya have to be seen out with a loony mother
It was something minor but she understood my reasoning .......people think more of you by being honest than by legging it
dee
Quote by Peanut
I believe that if my son 'couldn't sit down for a week' that violence had happened to him. There is no way on this earth that I would perpetrate that level of violence against another adult let alone someone I had nurtured. I do not believe every law of this land. (and believe much less about those that are fed to people in other lands) but this is where my son is raised and he will live within these laws. That includes violence.
Your attitude has obviously worked with your son, but I'm sorry to say that the similar attitude countrywide is, in my view, the root cause of ever-escalating youth crime.
God I hate it when I use this expression, but I can't think of an alternative, "in my day" parents came down hard on their kids and indulged in corporal punishment. Kids didn't see it as violence against their person, neither did parents. The kids saw it as a reason not to transgress whatever rule it was that they broke. It was an effective method of reigning them in. Now I know you detest it, but it worked.
Now 'we' are softer on our kids, the rules are in favour of the kids not being punished they have learnt that they can pretty much do as they like and all they are going to get is some limp-wristed punishment or a telling off. Yes a real deterrent that is
Kids like your son were always likely to be well behaved so would never have needed physical punishment anyway. It's the ones who don't have a sense of right and wrong, who don't give a crap about how others feel or what consequences are. They are the ones who need to feel the stimulus of not being able to sit down for a week.
Your son is not representative of the kids who do need a thwack.
in my experience that approach certainly doesnt work !
my parents used corporal punishment and both my siblings went on to do things both morally and criminally wrong, one of them did something that affected other peoples lives and livelihood too !
Quote by splendid_
I believe that if my son 'couldn't sit down for a week' that violence had happened to him. There is no way on this earth that I would perpetrate that level of violence against another adult let alone someone I had nurtured. I do not believe every law of this land. (and believe much less about those that are fed to people in other lands) but this is where my son is raised and he will live within these laws. That includes violence.
I agree. A crime doesn't justify a crime. There are ways and solutions to 'sorting' out problems without resorting to full on violence.
There's a massive difference between a gentle tap on the thighs when a child is young as a deterrent than using violence as a punishment.
i have to admit i cought my daughter shop lifting and i took her back to the shop and made her give the stuff back and then left it with them as to wether they wanted to involve the police or not, i don't think that makes me a bad mother it makes me a mother that tells my children i will not have a theif in the house, i have read a few posts that have said maybe you would for serious crimes but not shop lifting but all criminals start small so i think it best to stamp it out at this level, i did not bring my children up to think its ok to steal so why let them get away with it?
Quote by danne-gary
I believe that if my son 'couldn't sit down for a week' that violence had happened to him. There is no way on this earth that I would perpetrate that level of violence against another adult let alone someone I had nurtured. I do not believe every law of this land. (and believe much less about those that are fed to people in other lands) but this is where my son is raised and he will live within these laws. That includes violence.
Your attitude has obviously worked with your son, but I'm sorry to say that the similar attitude countrywide is, in my view, the root cause of ever-escalating youth crime.
God I hate it when I use this expression, but I can't think of an alternative, "in my day" parents came down hard on their kids and indulged in corporal punishment. Kids didn't see it as violence against their person, neither did parents. The kids saw it as a reason not to transgress whatever rule it was that they broke. It was an effective method of reigning them in. Now I know you detest it, but it worked.
Now 'we' are softer on our kids, the rules are in favour of the kids not being punished they have learnt that they can pretty much do as they like and all they are going to get is some limp-wristed punishment or a telling off. Yes a real deterrent that is
Kids like your son were always likely to be well behaved so would never have needed physical punishment anyway. It's the ones who don't have a sense of right and wrong, who don't give a crap about how others feel or what consequences are. They are the ones who need to feel the stimulus of not being able to sit down for a week.
Your son is not representative of the kids who do need a thwack.
in my experience that approach certainly doesnt work !
my parents used corporal punishment and both my siblings went on to do things both morally and criminally wrong, one of them did something that affected other peoples lives and livelihood too !
Strangely enough, my father used (quite extreme at times) corporal punishment both on me and my brother and we turned out level-headed with a pretty good sense of right and wrong. Neither of us turned turned to crime and neither of us are violent.
All in all a pretty good example of how specific, personal examples are not good ways of making a point.
The fact remains that as liberal thinking towards children's punishment has increased there's also been a similar increase in youth related crime, especially violent crime. e.g
I don't think it's unfair to assume that one has had some form of affect on the other, do you?
Edit: Link to Daily Telegraph article
Quote by danne-gary
i was simply say that "Im my experience that approach doesnt work" !
I appreciate that. My counter point was that in my experience it does.
This is why I think specific experiences like ours don't help a discussion like this as they are far too narrowly focussed.
I should note that I'm applying the same theory to my experiences too.
I do understand how they can affect one's individual viewpoint though, so I assure you that your point wasn't lost on me... honest
Quote by danne-gary
He won't give in you know, he will disect everything you say until you give up.
i know ... iv now given up !!
felt crap enough anyway and now feel even worse cus personal opinions area waste of time it would seem !
Personal opinions, no.
Personal opinions based on limited data, quite possibly.
Sex God
yes i would and have
first time was sweets from pick and mix in tescos frog marched my lad to security and asked them to give him a good fright which they did and the next time was to the police over money that kept going from my purse the police were much too soft on him imho but still got a good ticking off
i think i did the right thing as my lads r incredibly good for teenage boys no bother at all
i would also report them for proper crimes not just the childish ones they did whilst small i am a firm believer in facing conciquences no matter how scarey it may be and i like to think as it was a lesson we taught them from a young age it has made them think twice b4 doing things that would b breaking the law
although that said they ain't total angels have since made mistakes and have faced the conciquences face on which makes us more proud than if they hadn't made any at all
first time was sweets from pick and mix in tescos frog marched my lad to security and asked them to give him a good fright which they did and the next time was to the police over money that kept going from my purse the police were much too soft on him imho but still got a good ticking off
i think i did the right thing as my lads r incredibly good for teenage boys no bother at all
i would also report them for proper crimes not just the childish ones they did whilst small i am a firm believer in facing conciquences no matter how scarey it may be and i like to think as it was a lesson we taught them from a young age it has made them think twice b4 doing things that would b breaking the law
although that said they ain't total angels have since made mistakes and have faced the conciquences face on which makes us more proud than if they hadn't made any at all
Quote by flower411
The fact remains that as liberal thinking towards children's punishment has increased there's also been a similar increase in youth related crime, especially violent crime. e.g Violent youth crime up a third
Edit: Link to Daily Telegraph article
Aww the Daily Torygraph .......Font of all knowledge !!
Errrr, that would be the British Crime Survey then?
Quote by Peanut
i was simply say that "Im my experience that approach doesnt work" !
I appreciate that. My counter point was that in my experience it does.
This is why I think specific experiences like ours don't help a discussion like this as they are far too narrowly focussed.
I should note that I'm applying the same theory to my experiences too.
I do understand how they can affect one's individual viewpoint though, so I assure you that your point wasn't lost on me... honest
Having focussed on the content of the post- and not just had a knee jerk reaction to the avatar- I have to say that's one of the best "agreeing to differ" post's I've seen.
Gold Star & a pack of M&M's for that man!
Quote by DeeCee
Aww the Daily Torygraph .......Font of all knowledge !!
surely you mean The Sun......
Whats wrong with the Sun ?
I know its not the most dynamic newspaper out there, BUT it has the biggest readership by far, and I for one think it represents the views of the " working man ".
It ain't perfect but I would rather have a gander at that some some of the other leftie papers out there.
But of course decee you like me , can have a difference of opinion.
Quote by Peanut
I believe that if my son 'couldn't sit down for a week' that violence had happened to him. There is no way on this earth that I would perpetrate that level of violence against another adult let alone someone I had nurtured. I do not believe every law of this land. (and believe much less about those that are fed to people in other lands) but this is where my son is raised and he will live within these laws. That includes violence.
Your attitude has obviously worked with your son, but I'm sorry to say that the similar attitude countrywide is, in my view, the root cause of ever-escalating youth crime.
God I hate it when I use this expression, but I can't think of an alternative, "in my day" parents came down hard on their kids and indulged in corporal punishment. Kids didn't see it as violence against their person, neither did parents. The kids saw it as a reason not to transgress whatever rule it was that they broke. It was an effective method of reigning them in. Now I know you detest it, but it worked.
Now 'we' are softer on our kids, the rules are in favour of the kids not being punished they have learnt that they can pretty much do as they like and all they are going to get is some limp-wristed punishment or a telling off. Yes a real deterrent that is
Kids like your son were always likely to be well behaved so would never have needed physical punishment anyway. It's the ones who don't have a sense of right and wrong, who don't give a crap about how others feel or what consequences are. They are the ones who need to feel the stimulus of not being able to sit down for a week.
Your son is not representative of the kids who do need a thwack.
in my experience that approach certainly doesnt work !
my parents used corporal punishment and both my siblings went on to do things both morally and criminally wrong, one of them did something that affected other peoples lives and livelihood too !
Strangely enough, my father used (quite extreme at times) corporal punishment both on me and my brother and we turned out level-headed with a pretty good sense of right and wrong. Neither of us turned turned to crime and neither of us are violent.
All in all a pretty good example of how specific, personal examples are not good ways of making a point.
The fact remains that as liberal thinking towards children's punishment has increased there's also been a similar increase in youth related crime, especially violent crime. e.g
I don't think it's unfair to assume that one has had some form of affect on the other, do you?
Edit: Link to Daily Telegraph article
Sod what the polls say and any paper states, we can see and hear with our own eyes and ears.
We see children out of control we hear on the streets incidences that have happened. Things just were not like that years ago. You never had children killing children, something somewhere is going so totally wrong.
I think part of the problem was given children helplines and saying if a parent hits child to call, yes we need to protect children from violence within the home, but surely there is violence and a smack for doing wrong.
Have these changes really cracked down in violence in the home?
I doubt not.
What I feel it has given if for everychild to be able to abuse the system.
Like most sytems they seen to be abused more,than for the purpose intended.
This is my opinion!
One of the main reasons things are going wrong is the human rights act.
It was never intended to let criminals off, but Europe has got involved in OUR business and that seems to be the start of a lot of our problems.
The Tories have said they will either scrap the act or seriously ammend it. They get my vote just on that one alone.
Plus the other main reason is the childrens act, where they have more rights than an adult now. They know their rights and are not afraid to use them.
I nearly cried when I read the childrens act, and we wonder why some kids are out of control? Have a read of it and weep like me.
It was never intended to let criminals off, but Europe has got involved in OUR business and that seems to be the start of a lot of our problems.
The Tories have said they will either scrap the act or seriously ammend it. They get my vote just on that one alone.
Plus the other main reason is the childrens act, where they have more rights than an adult now. They know their rights and are not afraid to use them.
I nearly cried when I read the childrens act, and we wonder why some kids are out of control? Have a read of it and weep like me.
Sex God
Yes I would and have done. Said son was found to have a small stash of cannabis in his sock drawer. We called the police who came and gave him a good thorough talking to and we told him in no uncertain terms that it was not welcome in our house. The lady police officer and her partner were kind and stern. When they left and son had disappeared off to his room, Stormy started to chuckle and mortified I asked him why!!!??? He said..."The funny thing is...when I first tried cannabis in my teens, it was her husband I tried it with"!!!! :P
We live in a small town and her husband had been on best mate terms with Stormy at the time!!
We live in a small town and her husband had been on best mate terms with Stormy at the time!!
Quote by Firelizard
Yes I would and have done. Said son was found to have a small stash of cannabis in his sock drawer. We called the police who came and gave him a good thorough talking to and we told him in no uncertain terms that it was not welcome in our house. The lady police officer and her partner were kind and stern. When they left and son had disappeared off to his room, Stormy started to chuckle and mortified I asked him why!!!??? He said..."The funny thing is...when I first tried cannabis in my teens, it was her husband I tried it with"!!!! :P
We live in a small town and her husband had been on best mate terms with Stormy at the time!!
You lil ray o sunshine you! Oh, nice nips :rascal:
Sex God
Quote by winchwench
Yes I would and have done. Said son was found to have a small stash of cannabis in his sock drawer. We called the police who came and gave him a good thorough talking to and we told him in no uncertain terms that it was not welcome in our house. The lady police officer and her partner were kind and stern. When they left and son had disappeared off to his room, Stormy started to chuckle and mortified I asked him why!!!??? He said..."The funny thing is...when I first tried cannabis in my teens, it was her husband I tried it with"!!!! :P
We live in a small town and her husband had been on best mate terms with Stormy at the time!!
You lil ray o sunshine you! Oh, nice nips :rascal:
Behave!! Quote by kentswingers777
Whats wrong with the Sun ?
I know its not the most dynamic newspaper out there, BUT it has the biggest readership by far, and I for one think it represents the views of the " working man ".
It ain't perfect but I would rather have a gander at that some some of the other leftie papers out there.
But of course decee you like me , can have a difference of opinion.
It's not supposed to represent any views let alone "the working man's", it's a newspaper it's supposed to be independent and just report the news without bias.
Quote by flower411
The fact remains that as liberal thinking towards children's punishment has increased there's also been a similar increase in youth related crime, especially violent crime. e.g Violent youth crime up a third
Edit: Link to Daily Telegraph article
Aww the Daily Torygraph .......Font of all knowledge !!
Errrr, that would be the British Crime Survey then?
You can interpret any set of statistics to say whatever you want them to say .....the last paragraph of the article may just hold the truth.
Hmmm Government spin versus a newspaper using statistics?
What a shitty pair of options to choose between
Quote by Peanut
Whats wrong with the Sun ?
I know its not the most dynamic newspaper out there, BUT it has the biggest readership by far, and I for one think it represents the views of the " working man ".
It ain't perfect but I would rather have a gander at that some some of the other leftie papers out there.
But of course decee you like me , can have a difference of opinion.
It's not supposed to represent any views let alone "the working man's", it's a newspaper it's supposed to be independent and just report the news without bias.
Is that right? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by kentswingers777
Whats wrong with the Sun ?
I know its not the most dynamic newspaper out there, BUT it has the biggest readership by far, and I for one think it represents the views of the " working man ".
It ain't perfect but I would rather have a gander at that some some of the other leftie papers out there.
But of course decee you like me , can have a difference of opinion.
It's not supposed to represent any views let alone "the working man's", it's a newspaper it's supposed to be independent and just report the news without bias.
Is that right? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Only if you want to trust what the paper is reporting. :roll:
