You know when you lose your internet connection . . .

1 Jul 2005

. . . cos you've somehow managed to run up a phone bill of such staggeringly monstrous proportions as to cause a fair old amount of consternation to both BT and yourself, and so you have to walk a mile along the canal to the library just so you can log in to SH, dodging giant stinging nettles and man-eating triffids, not to mention nearly leaping into aforesaid canal when an evil, evil, slinky longtail crosses your path and fixes it's beady little eyes on you with a look that quite clearly says "I could leap from here and rip your throat right out and just leave you for dead if i wanted, mwah ha ha ha!" before slinking back into the triffids, which naturally don't eat evil, evil, slinky longtails cos even triffids are scared shitless by the verminous little beasts, and then you have a slightly worrying conversation with the local tramp, during which you sadly feel compelled to politely decline his offer of an afternoon's semi-conscious sunbathing swigging petrol and smoking dog ends . . .
<<<realises complete lack of full stops in above sentence, and sticks a little pause in here, just in case you should be daft enough to read it outloud and somehow pass out or even die from asphyxiation . . . >>>
. . . . and then you get to library and realise that actually you daren't read any threads after all, cos avatars of scantily clad females jiggling their bits and bobs might not go down all that well with the 16 stone bloke sat next to you teaching his 8 year old daughter about the wonders of the internet, and you can't turn the piccies off cos some IT Guru / Librarian type person has decided that you can't possibly be trusted to tweak something so potentially disastrous as your internet options, and it's a waste of time trying to install firefox or something you can tweak cos yup, some IT Guru / Librarian type person has decided that you can't possibly be trusted to blah blah blah, so you decide to nip into the chatroom but the chatroom won't load unless you install the JRE and yup, some IT Guru / Librarian type person has decided that you can't possibly be trusted to yadda yadda yadda . . .
<<<provides another little pause, in case you fancy a fag or a nice cup of tea before the next bit . . . . >>>
. . . . so you read some random gubbins somewhere on the web till he and his daughter ((( you know, the one's sat next to me. i did mention 'em earlier ))) piss off, turn your monitor slightly to the side, and then quickly log into your inbox, and sit hunched over your monitor laughing quietly to yourself like a complete and utter loon, till the IT Guru / Librarian comes over and pretends to fiddle about for a bit with the blinds behind you when really she's wondering if you're actually completely barking mad and why are you looking so shifty, so you bring up notepad just to look all innocent and stuff, fire off a quick post like this one, then shuffle out in a slightly embarassed "Oh God, please don't look in my history and ban me for looking at filth in a public library will you?" kinda way, and traipse off home in a defeated and dispirited manner only to have to negotiate the tramps and triffids and evil, evil, slinky longtails all over again etc etc etc . . .
well, you know when that happens? crap innit? sad

:( :(
neil x x x ;)

1 Jul 2005

Nope. Never happens to me.
HTH

1 Jul 2005

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Brillient mate
Fred (its been a long time ) wink

1 Jul 2005

So are you back online ????????????????????? wink

1 Jul 2005

That sounds just like me when I have tried logging in from uni

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

1 Jul 2005

Whats worrying is that someone else has posted on the forum from that IP Neil :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

1 Jul 2005

can never say I've had my inte...

1 Jul 2005

sorry, network cut off :P

1 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
That sounds just like me when I have tried logging in from uni :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
wonder if i can use that as bargaining power, in a sneaky blackmail kinda way. i mean it could just be the IT Guru / Librarian type person couldn't it. they couldn't prove otherwise!
hehehehehe!
and no HornyRed sadly i'm still sat in the library ducking and diving! :lol2:
n x x x ;)

1 Jul 2005

avatars of scantily clad females jiggling their bits and bobs

oohh, have us girlies been running around in your local library :shock:

1 Jul 2005

So you've moved back to Leeds then.
.......davej glad he lives in a much gentler environment where a walk besides a babbling brook reveals little more than the odd butterfly......

1 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Whats worrying is that someone else has posted on the forum from that IP Neil :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Neil, are any of the keys stuck together on that keyboard? :sticky: :shock: lol

1 Jul 2005

Neil, by 'longtail' do you mean 'rat'? I'm assuming that you do, but people from other parts of the country might not know. It's definitely not a South Yorkshire saying. A pupil who has joined my class after moving from Bradford to Rotherham told me that she calls rats 'longtails' because it's bad luck to say 'rats'. It's not really important, just thought that there might be people wondering WTF you meant lol

1 Jul 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Neil, by 'longtail' do you mean 'rat'? I'm assuming that you do, but people from other parts of the country might not know. It's definitely not a South Yorkshire saying. A pupil who has joined my class after moving from Bradford to Rotherham told me that she calls rats 'longtails' because it's bad luck to say 'rats'. It's not really important, just thought that there might be people wondering WTF you meant

hadn't a clue, but wasn't going to be a numpty and ask redface

I had em down as a sort of human devil type creature dunno

1 Jul 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Neil, by 'longtail' do you mean 'rat'? I'm assuming that you do, but people from other parts of the country might not know. It's definitely not a South Yorkshire saying. A pupil who has joined my class after moving from Bradford to Rotherham told me that she calls rats 'longtails' because it's bad luck to say 'rats'. It's not really important, just thought that there might be people wondering WTF you meant

Thanks Bev, very helpful. I know I'm in west Yorkshire, but as a southerner-in-exile I sat here thinking...squirrels?.....magpies? dunno

Mike.

1 Jul 2005

What would we do without the t'internet huh? confused

1 Jul 2005

Quote by MikeNorth
Neil, by 'longtail' do you mean 'rat'? I'm assuming that you do, but people from other parts of the country might not know. It's definitely not a South Yorkshire saying. A pupil who has joined my class after moving from Bradford to Rotherham told me that she calls rats 'longtails' because it's bad luck to say 'rats'. It's not really important, just thought that there might be people wondering WTF you meant

Thanks Bev, very helpful. I know I'm in west Yorkshire, but as a southerner-in-exile I sat here thinking...squirrels?.....magpies? dunno

Mike.
I ain't being picky mike, but neils post sort of painted a picture of longtails as being dark, menacing......sort of evil body snatcher things.
and well.......squirrels just ain't that menacing :dunno:
now I will admit that I grew up in the seventies and went through the whole big Tom Jones sideburns thing, which did look like I had a couple of squirrels stuck to my face and that was sort of menacing, but real squirrels.......surely not.

1 Jul 2005

Quote by davej
Neil, by 'longtail' do you mean 'rat'? I'm assuming that you do, but people from other parts of the country might not know. It's definitely not a South Yorkshire saying. A pupil who has joined my class after moving from Bradford to Rotherham told me that she calls rats 'longtails' because it's bad luck to say 'rats'. It's not really important, just thought that there might be people wondering WTF you meant

Thanks Bev, very helpful. I know I'm in west Yorkshire, but as a southerner-in-exile I sat here thinking...squirrels?.....magpies? dunno

Mike.
I ain't being picky mike, but neils post sort of painted a picture of longtails as being dark, menacing......sort of evil body snatcher things.
and well.......squirrels just ain't that menacing :dunno:
now I will admit that I grew up in the seventies and went through the whole big Tom Jones sideburns thing, which did look like I had a couple of squirrels stuck to my face and that was sort of menacing, but real squirrels.......surely not.
I now have a mental image of davej with a bald head and a couple of red squirrels glued to the side of his face. Still I suppose it's stops 'em collecting yer nuts. :shock:

1 Jul 2005

Quote by davej

I ain't being picky mike, but neils post sort of painted a picture of longtails as being dark, menacing......sort of evil body snatcher things.
and well.......squirrels just ain't that menacing
now I will admit that I grew up in the seventies and went through the whole big Tom Jones sideburns thing, which did look like I had a couple of squirrels stuck to my face and that was sort of menacing, but real squirrels.......surely not.

I now have a mental image of davej with a bald head and a couple of red squirrels glued to the side of his face. Still I suppose it's stops 'em collecting yer nuts. :shock:
I can tell you that in my younger days, I had thick curly hair that fell over my shoulders in the style of that bloke who was in the group Queen (don't know his name) and that when my hair was like that, it was at least fashionable for it's time and complimented the squirrels that grew on each side of me face.
I have the photo's to prove it, but I'm damned if I would ever show anyone redface

2 Jul 2005

Quote by davej
.................................. I had thick curly hair that fell over my shoulders.........................:

So that's what happened to it. :doh: :P
Oh and it's Brian May (sp?). wink

I think we may be hijacking Neils plead for sympathy, so I guess we'd better get this thread back on topic. redface

2 Jul 2005

Quote by easy
So that's what happened to it. :doh: :P
Oh and it's Brian May (sp?).
I think we may be hijacking Neils plead for sympathy, so I guess we'd better get this thread back on topic.

Why?
I was hoping to talk about my massive hair I used to have when I looked like a female with a red Brian May wig............let me show you............

How bad is that :lol2:

2 Jul 2005

:giggle: Dawn....that truely is massive hair :twisted:

2 Jul 2005

Quote by Kitty
:giggle: Dawn....that truely is massive hair :twisted:

I know

I had friends that let me have my hair like that for years, bastards mad

:lol2:

2 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids

So that's what happened to it. :doh: :P
Oh and it's Brian May (sp?).
I think we may be hijacking Neils plead for sympathy, so I guess we'd better get this thread back on topic.

Why?
I was hoping to talk about my massive hair I used to have when I looked like a female with a red Brian May wig............let me show you............

How bad is that :lol2:
Nice tits :twisted: :thumbup: bolt

2 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I was hoping to talk about my massive hair I used to have when I looked like a female with a red Brian May wig............let me show you............

How bad is that :lol2:

mum? :shock:

2 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
:giggle: Dawn....that truely is massive hair :twisted:

I know

I had friends that let me have my hair like that for years, bastards mad

:lol2:
You still call them friends? :shock: bolt

:giggle:
Brave girl for claiming that look wink

2 Jul 2005

Recent phonecall to Mr InLeeds during which I read this thread out to him.
Do you know why is it unlucky to call rats 'rats' Neil?
Yes well, you just don't do it, it's not worth the risk, it's like well....
You know those things that used to advertise PG tips?
Chimps?
No, the other one, starts with 'M' :uhoh:
Monkeys?
Yes, them. You don't say that either. Bad and terrible things will befall you............ :scared: Shit! I put it in my location. No wonder I lost my internet connection, what a :doh:
The mind boggles *shakes head*
Venusxxx

3 Jul 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids

So that's what happened to it. :doh: :P
Oh and it's Brian May (sp?).
I think we may be hijacking Neils plead for sympathy, so I guess we'd better get this thread back on topic.

Why?
I was hoping to talk about my massive hair I used to have when I looked like a female with a red Brian May wig............let me show you............

Mr. J. Sir... rotflmao

Venus..... don't worry, now it's in writting it's enough to section him with. :wink: :lol: