Even though I'm sure this thread has been done to death, I was perusing an on-line magazine and read mine. After a momentary burst of laughter, I wiped away my tears and thought I would share it with you all. Don't stop me if you've heard it....
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A baby polar bear goes up to his mother and asks 'Mom, am I a polar bear?'
She smiles and says 'Of course you are Love' and strokes his head.
The baby bear ponders this and then asks 'Are you sure?'
Mommy Polar bear answers 'Yes, I am sure.'
Baby polar bear thinks about this a bit longer and then pleads 'Are you positive I am a polar bear?!'
The Mommy Polar Bear, somewhat annoyed now, says 'YES, you are a Polar Bear! Your dad is a polar bear! I am a polar bear and all your sisters and brothers are polar bears! Now why do you keep asking me this!'
The baby polar bears responds 'Because I'm fucking freezing!!'
Silky xxx
If we are into silly jokes ...short but sweet.
Horse walks into a bar and bartender says ...Hey! Why the long face???
Apologies yes it is old ....but hey so am
Two gay cowboys. One says "Yup?" the other says "Yep!"
guy walks up to a farmer and says " do u mind if i talk to your horse" , " dont be stupid " says the farmer horses cant talk"
so the guy says "may i try ", " sure "says the farmer
so the guy walks up to the horse ans says " hi, does the farmer treat you well?"
the horse replies " yes he feeds me, exercises me and brushes my coat everyday"
The man then says to the farmer " is that your dog over there?" " yes " the farmer replies, well may i speek to him?" the farmer says look i know the horse spoke to you but now your just being plain stupid , the dog cant talk", " well may i try " asks the man " ok " says the farmer
" hello , you look like a happy dog, tell me does the farmer treat you well ?" " the dog replies " yes he feeds me, walks me and lets me lie by the fire at night"
the man then asks the farmer , " are those sheep in the next field yours?"
the farmer replies , " dont l;isten to them there just a bunch of fucking liers.
A woman walks into the doctors office with a huge boil on her arse.
The doctor squeezes it, pushes it, and then looks at the hard white pus core. He says this is too big a job for me so he sends her to Gus the pus sucker.
The woman goes to Gus who looks at the bulging red, inflamed boil festering with pus and says "this is no problem" and he proceeds to press his lips to her arse and sucks out the pus and core of the boil.
Halfway through, the woman drops a mammoth fart. Gus stops what he's doing, looks up and says "You know lady, its people like you that make this job fucking disgusting."
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:D 
hwoar: 
:hump: