Inspired by another thread, how much did/would you spend becoming hitched to your current partner?
We got married in 1990 and although I can't remember exactly how much it all cost, it was as much as we could afford at the time, by many people's standards it was frugal. My mum made my 3 bridesmaids dresses, and my future mum-in-law made my dress. Morning coats and cravats were hired for the groom, best man and father of the bride (top-hats were deemed an unnecessary expense). The wedding cake and food were supplied by a caterer who was also a family friend (at mates rates I suspect) and I and Mr Stuff paid for a professional photographer (our largest expense). Our honeymoon was a fortnight in an uncle's house in Majorca - all we had to pay for were our flights and spending. We are still happily married, unlike numerous guests at our wedding, and on reflection I doubt the cost of our 'big day' had any bearing on that.
It was only as elaborate as it was because I felt my mother wanted it that way as I was the first of her children to tie the knot. My sister then decided (to my mum's dismay) to get married 8 weeks after us! I hope I never have to worry about doing it again, (if my current marriage were to end in whatever way, I doubt I'd want to re-marry) but if I did, it would be much lower key, and more in line with my own preferences. But then, I am that much older, with a different perspective to the one I had at 21.
At least, unlike in many other ceremonies, I feel the money was not entirely wasted ;)
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Your wedding/civil partnership/joining ceremony (delete as a
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
<snip>It was only as elaborate as it was because I felt my mother wanted it that way<snip>
You've hit the nail on the head hunni, same thing happened to me and I'm sure it happens in most cases. I've been married twice - the first wedding the parents paid for so Mum did the best she could to turn it into a frothy circus so what started out as a quiet, unassuming affair at the Registry Office ( 1st hubby was atheist so no church ) ended up with my in full bridal gown with 3 bridesmaids, sit down reception, overpriced ( and not very good I might add ) photographer and everything that comes under the wedding banner. Complete waste of more than a few grand as we split 5 years later
Second wedding was paid for by me and the hubby so we called the shots and must admit, I enjoyed it a whole lot better. I wore an evening dress which could be used again, we all helped with the catering, bought single use cameras for everyone to use and got better photos, Mum made the cake, I made the flowers and it all came to less than £2K.
I've known people fork out over £10,000 on their daughter's wedding only to see them separated within 2 years and friends who have married 'on the cheap', had a much more enjoyable day and still together 25 years later! Just goes to show you don't NEED all the top of the range crap to make it a perfect day
We were talking about our wedding last night as it happened...if we did it all again, we'd do it differently, but not spend anymore. We spent somewhere in the region of £36ish quid on registry office fees...MIL bought my "outfit" and the rings- long since consigned to a drawer (I don't 'do' jewelery.) Sister in law made a few sarnies and a cake. Less than £100 quid was spent I reckon, all in.
It was a naff day, because most of the people there didn't want to be...and that's why we'd like to do it again. But this time it would be a celebration of what we've achieved over the last 20 years, the family we've nurtured- and the friends we've made.
We finally had our honeymoon last year.
All in all, an excuse for one almighty pi** up.
It was a naff day, because most of the people there didn't want to be...and that's why we'd like to do it again. But this time it would be a celebration of what we've achieved over the last 20 years, the family we've nurtured- and the friends we've made.
We finally had our honeymoon last year.
All in all, an excuse for one almighty pi** up.
Sex God
no dress i wore leather and he wore denim, no church was local registry office calling into wimpy on route for breakfast, only attended by close family and friends then back to my aunt n uncles pub for a small buffet and drinkies then home when pub shut at 3 pre all day opening spent afternoon consumating it then back to local pub with mates in the evening would be gobsmaked if we spent more than £200 and we are about to celebrate our 21st anniversary in april and i wouldn't change a thing its all about the marraige not the weddding
yes cut and pasted from earlier posting i know but having lazy day you was lucky to of got that much out of me first time round
yes cut and pasted from earlier posting i know but having lazy day you was lucky to of got that much out of me first time round
1992, i was 21, had the whole shebang.
mum made my wedding dress from Ivory duchesse satin (found in a teeny weeny back street fabric shop in Liverpool) and trimmed in french lace (that was my biggest expense on my dress, but cos around £100 for the whole dress)
she also made my 6 bridesmaid dresses - I have 3 sisters and O/H has 1 sis and i also asked 2 cousins cos i wanted them to be there on our special day - ok ok I got carried away 3 in royal blue and 3 in red....WTF was I thinking...we must have looked so patriotic! :shock: she made my 6 month old neice a dress out of the left over blue satin so she matched. Mum also made my head dress, the bridesmaids headresses and bouquets, and all the favours for the table.
I had glasses the ize of tv screens a la Dierdre Barlow from Corrie to complete my ensemble :giggle: so dated when i look back
had a full sit down bash for about 50 people, altho apart from his little sis who was a bridesmaid, we had none of O/H family cos he wasnt speaking to any of them, so he had his closest friends there. Photographer was a very expensive £1000.....he was quite good, but very persuasive in the after wedding photo viewings...we paid him a deposit of £500, and agreed to pay the erst in installments.... :fuckinghell: had some sort of break down after his wife ran off with his best mate, so disappeared with our £500 and our photos....havent had one photo yet and we've been married 18 years in may.
small do at the night time in a local social club and then a night in the honeymoon suite at the 'posh' hotel in our town.
I was working at the time, so we paid for most of the stuff ourselves cos we booked it 2 years in advance!
like i said...18 years this year :shock: doesnt time fly when youre having fun....i'd have gotten less for murder :wink: :giggle:
my mum made me a wedding album from guests photos of the day, and when i look back through the pix, everyone of our mutual close friends are divorced apart from us.
mum made my wedding dress from Ivory duchesse satin (found in a teeny weeny back street fabric shop in Liverpool) and trimmed in french lace (that was my biggest expense on my dress, but cos around £100 for the whole dress)
she also made my 6 bridesmaid dresses - I have 3 sisters and O/H has 1 sis and i also asked 2 cousins cos i wanted them to be there on our special day - ok ok I got carried away
3 in royal blue and 3 in red....WTF was I thinking...we must have looked so patriotic! :shock: she made my 6 month old neice a dress out of the left over blue satin so she matched. Mum also made my head dress, the bridesmaids headresses and bouquets, and all the favours for the table.I had glasses the ize of tv screens a la Dierdre Barlow from Corrie to complete my ensemble :giggle: so dated when i look back
had a full sit down bash for about 50 people, altho apart from his little sis who was a bridesmaid, we had none of O/H family cos he wasnt speaking to any of them, so he had his closest friends there. Photographer was a very expensive £1000.....he was quite good, but very persuasive in the after wedding photo viewings...we paid him a deposit of £500, and agreed to pay the erst in installments.... :fuckinghell: had some sort of break down after his wife ran off with his best mate, so disappeared with our £500 and our photos....havent had one photo yet and we've been married 18 years in may.
small do at the night time in a local social club and then a night in the honeymoon suite at the 'posh' hotel in our town.
I was working at the time, so we paid for most of the stuff ourselves cos we booked it 2 years in advance!
like i said...18 years this year :shock: doesnt time fly when youre having fun....i'd have gotten less for murder :wink: :giggle:
my mum made me a wedding album from guests photos of the day, and when i look back through the pix, everyone of our mutual close friends are divorced apart from us.
Married in 1986, cost around £2000 all told, dress was £250 which my great aunts paid most of, ex-hub and best man had suits from Burtons, rings cost around £130 for them both, dresses were made be a family friend, self catered, photos taken by an keen amateur, who did a really good job actually and put them in a fab silk covered album, disco by the best man, honeymoon was a week in Jersey curtesy of the in-laws.
I`ve been with BMW now for 2yrs, we joke about getting married and say we`ve set a date....for the year 2023, but if we did ever take the final step i wouldn`t care if it was just the 2 of us there on the day with no party no guests no honeymoon, just me and him, and that is priceless
I`ve been with BMW now for 2yrs, we joke about getting married and say we`ve set a date....for the year 2023, but if we did ever take the final step i wouldn`t care if it was just the 2 of us there on the day with no party no guests no honeymoon, just me and him, and that is priceless
Worlass and I spent what we could afford. We had a budget, spreadsheets and allocations for each area of responsibility. It was private, intimate and the 'engagement' party was where people found out that we had saved them all a fortune in presents and outfits by being so private. It triggered off a couple of similar style ceremonies, and we loved every single second.
I couldn't be happier and along with the memories of the day I have the good fortune to have a beautiful civil partner who is often more than civil. I also have a future with a massive pension that I acquired by signing my name on a piece of paper next to hers.
Whatever is spent is down to the people and, I won't judge or be judged on the amount of zeros in the total.
I couldn't be happier and along with the memories of the day I have the good fortune to have a beautiful civil partner who is often more than civil. I also have a future with a massive pension that I acquired by signing my name on a piece of paper next to hers.
Whatever is spent is down to the people and, I won't judge or be judged on the amount of zeros in the total.
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
Whatever is spent is down to the people and, I won't judge or be judged on the amount of zeros in the total.
totally agree its all a personal choice thing but have to admit i have always had a private internal smug grin at the fact my hubbys brother and his wife spent 10,000 on thiers 2 years after we wed had the works horse drawn carraige the lot yet it only lasted 18 months and i always felt that was because they were more into the whole wedding thing rather than the actual marraige, if someone wishes to spend a fortune and have a mind blowing extravaganza of a wedding then thats their choice i just hope that they keep in mind that after the confetti has all blown away there is then a marraige to work at and you do have to work at it but boy is it worth it i wouldn't change a single thing and i hope to one day be celebrating our golden anniversary with a huge smile on my face knowing it was £200 well spent
Quote by splendid_
Worlass and I spent what we could afford. We had a budget, spreadsheets and allocations for each area of responsibility. It was private, intimate and the 'engagement' party was where people found out that we had saved them all a fortune in presents and outfits by being so private. It triggered off a couple of similar style ceremonies, and we loved every single second.
I couldn't be happier and along with the memories of the day I have the good fortune to have a beautiful civil partner who is often more than civil. I also have a future with a massive pension that I acquired by signing my name on a piece of paper next to hers.
Whatever is spent is down to the people and, I won't judge or be judged on the amount of zeros in the total.
In edit..
I'm still in love with your wedding transport. It rocked. :thumbup:
Quote by splendid_
Worlass and I spent what we could afford. We had a budget, spreadsheets and allocations for each area of responsibility. It was private, intimate and the 'engagement' party was where people found out that we had saved them all a fortune in presents and outfits by being so private. It triggered off a couple of similar style ceremonies, and we loved every single second.
I couldn't be happier and along with the memories of the day I have the good fortune to have a beautiful civil partner who is often more than civil. I also have a future with a massive pension that I acquired by signing my name on a piece of paper next to hers.
Whatever is spent is down to the people and, I won't judge or be judged on the amount of zeros in the total.
I've looked at this thread and through about posting 4-5 times and couldn't find the right words.. but you've just done it for me. Thank you
Agreed on every count of what you say above :thumbup:
Ours wasn't as intimate as yours I don't think.... it was last December, we had 129 guests in the end but we both have big families that mean the world to us and they accounted for 60-70% of our guestlist.
We too had a budget, we stuck to it and if we wanted something we hadn't originally planned for then we did without something else that we had. It was 15 months in the planning and it was well planned, we think anyway (understatement from Mr Control Freak here!) It paid off and all came together on the day.
There were no dresses (and associated cost!) involved on our part ;)
From our perspective, our day was perfect and we enjoyed every minute of it. However, the lasting memories for us and for anyone who was there and who has commented was the genuine emotion, warmth and feeling of closeness throughout the entire event - money can't buy that, or take it away.
For anyone planning a wedding/civil partnership etc (and there are a few in hiding ;)) my advice is simple:
1) Set a budget and stick to it
2) Plan it well
3) Invite who YOU want to be there, as opposed to who bloodline's dictate should be there
4) Enjoy every minute of it, it goes in a flash
x 
Sex God
We're getting married this year and I can't wait :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Some people might class what we're planning as a big expensive wedding but to us it's what we can afford to make the day how we want to do it.
Both of us would have happily had a small ceremony abroad somewhere but that would have excluded a lot of our family and friends so we're having a bigger wedding here. The main bit of the day for us is the ceremony and so everyone will be invited to that and then we'll have a party afterwards. We won't have any 'extra' people coming in the evening as if someone isn't important enough to us to be there for the ceremony then I don't see why they should be there at all.
Although the day is about us and will have many touches in it personal to us, as we've decided to do the 'big' wedding thing and involve our friends and family, we want to make sure that all of our guests have a good time as well so that's where a large part of the budget is going.
What I love about wedding is that big of small, big budget or small budget, as long as the couple are in love, that is the main thing that shines through None of the other stuff really matter :)
Tomorrow we're off to pick up our marriage license :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Some people might class what we're planning as a big expensive wedding but to us it's what we can afford to make the day how we want to do it.
Both of us would have happily had a small ceremony abroad somewhere but that would have excluded a lot of our family and friends so we're having a bigger wedding here. The main bit of the day for us is the ceremony and so everyone will be invited to that and then we'll have a party afterwards. We won't have any 'extra' people coming in the evening as if someone isn't important enough to us to be there for the ceremony then I don't see why they should be there at all.
Although the day is about us and will have many touches in it personal to us, as we've decided to do the 'big' wedding thing and involve our friends and family, we want to make sure that all of our guests have a good time as well so that's where a large part of the budget is going.
What I love about wedding is that big of small, big budget or small budget, as long as the couple are in love, that is the main thing that shines through
None of the other stuff really matter :) Tomorrow we're off to pick up our marriage license :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Quote by Kaznkev
Whatever is spent is down to the people and, I won't judge or be judged on the amount of zeros in the total.
totally agree its all a personal choice thing but have to admit i have always had a private internal smug grin at the fact my hubbys brother and his wife spent 10,000 on thiers 2 years after we wed had the works horse drawn carraige the lot yet it only lasted 18 months and i always felt that was because they were more into the whole wedding thing rather than the actual marraige, if someone wishes to spend a fortune and have a mind blowing extravaganza of a wedding then thats their choice i just hope that they keep in mind that after the confetti has all blown away there is then a marraige to work at and you do have to work at it but boy is it worth it i wouldn't change a single thing and i hope to one day be celebrating our golden anniversary with a huge smile on my face knowing it was £200 well spent
I agree bouncy,and i think i would have felt smug too!
I do think the "day" has become such a feature for some that they fail to remember there is a lifetime afterwards,.......................................................
I havent met anyone I want to get married to again but would splash out if she wanted the " fairytale " my daughter recently got married and of course " dad " helped out ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
It cost more than the national debt of Nigeria .....would I haver changed it ....would i heck as like she is my daughter end off ..
trav..
Quote by poshkate
We're getting married this year and I can't wait :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Some people might class what we're planning as a big expensive wedding but to us it's what we can afford to make the day how we want to do it.
Both of us would have happily had a small ceremony abroad somewhere but that would have excluded a lot of our family and friends so we're having a bigger wedding here. The main bit of the day for us is the ceremony and so everyone will be invited to that and then we'll have a party afterwards. We won't have any 'extra' people coming in the evening as if someone isn't important enough to us to be there for the ceremony then I don't see why they should be there at all.
Although the day is about us and will have many touches in it personal to us, as we've decided to do the 'big' wedding thing and involve our friends and family, we want to make sure that all of our guests have a good time as well so that's where a large part of the budget is going.
What I love about wedding is that big of small, big budget or small budget, as long as the couple are in love, that is the main thing that shines through
Tomorrow we're off to pick up our marriage license :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
I'm kinda (re)living this with you as the months tick by... now we're all done and once you're all done - shall we become wedding planners? I think we'd make a killing
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
I'm kinda (re)living this with you as the months tick by... now we're all done and once you're all done - shall we become wedding planners? I think we'd make a killing
I think we should! It'd be great fun, although I'm not sure how much work we'd do! :lol2:
Orgasminator
We got married (almost) 6 months ago. It cost us the grand sum of £14,000 which we paid ourselves. We'll be paying it off for the next couple of years (or 10 now my salary has dropped!) and tbh, I wish we hadn't bothered!
Not with the wedding, but with the expense & pomp of it all. It was "expected" (even tho no one else contributed) and in the end, more than 75% of my family didn't even bother coming and those that did, had me in tears just a few weeks before, threatening not to come.
If I knew then what I know now, we'd have done it abroad on a beach. Those who mattered would have been there.
As it turns out, it was friends who we met on here who made the day special - half the wedding party were swingers!!! lol
*Her*
Not with the wedding, but with the expense & pomp of it all. It was "expected" (even tho no one else contributed) and in the end, more than 75% of my family didn't even bother coming and those that did, had me in tears just a few weeks before, threatening not to come.
If I knew then what I know now, we'd have done it abroad on a beach. Those who mattered would have been there.
As it turns out, it was friends who we met on here who made the day special - half the wedding party were swingers!!! lol
*Her*
Sex God
Quote by poshkate
I'm kinda (re)living this with you as the months tick by... now we're all done and once you're all done - shall we become wedding planners? I think we'd make a killing
I think we should! It'd be great fun, although I'm not sure how much work we'd do! :lol2:
If you guys find me a suitable chap, I'd be your test-case.... You would be monstrous together - but utterly hilarious!
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
If you guys find me a suitable chap, I'd be your test-case.... You would be monstrous together - but utterly hilarious!
We're currently on the phone planning... 55 minutes so far :rascal:
It'll take you a LOT longer than 55mins to sort me out a man! :giggle:
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
It'll take you a LOT longer than 55mins to sort me out a man! :giggle:
Well it only took me one text message last time :high-smile:
Nah... that kinda man-finding, fair play - you are a genius!
But a keeper?
Work cut out on that one! Quote by noladreams
Nah... that kinda man-finding, fair play - you are a genius!
But a keeper?
OK, me and PK are off the phone and have done 1 hour 20 minutes of weddings and a little bit of man finding, Billie Piper and general naughtyness :twisted:
Send your criteria in PM and I'll work on it before you come to Newcastle. Are you prepared to give up everything and relocate if I find one?
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
Nah... that kinda man-finding, fair play - you are a genius!
But a keeper?
OK, me and PK are off the phone and have done 1 hour 20 minutes of weddings and a little bit of man finding, Billie Piper and general naughtyness :twisted:
Send your criteria in PM and I'll work on it before you come to Newcastle. Are you prepared to give up everything and relocate if I find one?
PM sent. :rascal:
Sex God
Quote by noladreams
It'll take you a LOT longer than 55mins to sort me out a man! :giggle:
Well it only took me one text message last time :high-smile:
Nah... that kinda man-finding, fair play - you are a genius!
But a keeper?
Work cut out on that one! I've already got someone in mind for you.....:wink:
In the middle of planning here. have a budget and sticking to it. We wrote a list out of all the usual wedding things, photographer, invites, venues etc and wrote how much we'd like to spend on each.
Have saved on some things but overspent, slightly, on others.
This is my second wedding and it's a bit more elaborate than my first. Having a full church do this time. I'm loving the planning although panicking like hell about my dress, why does there have to be so much choice?? lol.
Weddings are for the couple,it is your day and about your commitment to each other afterall.
xxxxx
Have saved on some things but overspent, slightly, on others.
This is my second wedding and it's a bit more elaborate than my first. Having a full church do this time. I'm loving the planning although panicking like hell about my dress, why does there have to be so much choice?? lol.
Weddings are for the couple,it is your day and about your commitment to each other afterall.
xxxxx
